Beyond Frustrated!!!

I have had weight issues most of my adult life... raising my son and eating on the road with hockey, and while I am a great cook I was an unhealthy cook because that is how I learned mostly. I've since learned to cook without flour, without oils and such, even making my own dressings at times and such.

I moved to Florida two years ago and because of a huge bout of depression, I lost some weight but as life went on, so did the weight. Then again... depression, lost some more and then added it back.... I blame my son for his college visit but in reality - I chose to allow him to choose how we ate - and I chose to eat...

I've gone back and forth on here so many times... and the gym life too... at one point I was not eating any meat other than seafood and beyond that was vegetarian. This was hard... though now, I still choose to eat less red meat and I'll stomach chicken, though I do not care for it much...

I've asked for simplistic help before - but there are a lot of to be blunt, mean / sarcastic / rude people on here who because they "get this" believe those of us that do not are dumb, stupid, ignorant, etc...

I've been told I eat too many calories, do not eat enough calories, don't pay attention to the macros, too many carbs, increase protein to 50%, lower carbs to 20% (which kills my veggies since they have carbs) too much fat (sometimes that's from nuts or avocados which again is advice to eat...), I've been told eat all calories back, half back, raise my intake and avoid what I burn, I read go to this site or that site and again - I get different numbers on every site... from 1200 on this one up to 3000... all by saying sedetary life...and I'll be honest... I don't get the NET and stuff... if I am to eat 1200 and then the 20% less to lose, then eat calories back... you get this right?? It's freaking frustrating!!!!

I actually TRY to go to the gym and hit the treadmill 5 to 6 times a week - 30 minutes, burning between 320 to 370 depending on the incline I use... I'll try to go to yoga when I can or to zumba once a week though that kills my ankle, knee and back for issues I am having there and I try to do strength training at least 4 times a week, though the trainer friend said because I use machines it's worthless..but free weights intimidate the hell out of and well, honestly, so do some of the people at the gym... . (I can't afford him right now - I am NOT working!!, so add that to the stress and the sedetary life because I am usually sitting on my butt doing resumes or will go out and chase lighting (photos)...

Am I making excuse... not right now... other than I can't figure out what the hell to do... I don't get all the BMR, BMI, TDEE crap... you can explain it all you want... other than I get if I am in a coma the BMR is what keeps me alive - again - I get different results everywhere I look!!! And honestly - math equations - forget it!!!

What I want is to lose the 60 to 80 pounds (whatever looks best on me as I lose) and be happy and healthy and slowly increase my strength in my ankle, knee and back).... and better, have support without all the smart comments, or insulting ones I see people do on here constantly!!! And even better - in terms I can get - while I am far from dumb, there are just things I am not getting but I am starting to think that is from all the advice and stuff that people offer and all the confusion from so many different sites and such.... and the only thing seemed to work was just eating 1200 and burn whatever and not eat back and I know that is NOT a good way to go!!!!

And please, please, please, if you are going to respond, I need motivation here - not this read this read that - cause apparently I don't get it!!! I don't need the plain and simple go here - I've probably been there -

I need support and motivation!!!!