Fealing Defeated

You need to put your big girl panties on and make a decision........Am I going to stay fat and unhappy or am I going to do something about it?

Are you being treated for your depression and anxiety? If you aren't then maybe you need to get on something to start to get you evened out some. I'm on a med and it helps keep me from ripping everyones heads off, lol.

Are you exercising? Exercising helps with mood. I see a big difference now that I'm exercising regularly.....and I don't mean just a 20min walk a couple times a week. At least moderate exercise 3-4x week.

Also, a stumble doesn't mean you've failed. Refocus, decide what you want from life and move in that direction. We all go through downs but as long as you have more ups and are moving towards your goal it's okay. Put the stumbles behind you and just go forward without beating yourself up. It is what it is and you can't change it but you can change what you do in the future.

You need to dicuss the food situation with your husband and help him realize that having crap at home does not help you. Is he also overweight? Have a heart to heart with him and help him realize that this is a life or death situation and you are afraid of not being around for your son. The best situation would be for the two of you to start moving towards a healthier lifestyle.

But in the end it all comes down to CHOICES. You choose to eat the crap in the house, you choose to not change your life, you choose to stay the same. No matter what other people are doing around you, you are making these choices so change and make better choices.

I'm feeling your feels today. I'm travelling down the slippery alope of caring less about myself. I've been struggling with coming to terms with change, feeling sorry for myself and dealing with the fact that my bad habits have led me here.

How did I do it before? I just did it. Just do it today. If you have tips and tricks up your sleeve that you learned when you succeeded for thirty days, replicate them. Just do it. When I'm at goal weight I still need to exercise and eat within TDEE. If I just do this when I'm overweight also, I'll get rid of the extra pounds. Just do it. If you have a binge, forget it, brush it off, and just keep doing it:)

DON'T STOP SNACKING....... I eat snacks all the time only they aren't nutter butter cookies they're fruits or vegetables or air popped popcorn for example.

As my profile pic says...If you want to quit, ask yourself why you started in the first place

My advice is, take it moment by moment. Set small goals! Daily goals! We can only conquer a day at a time, right? Make as many healthy choices as you can today! Take each day as it comes! If you have a bad day, dust yourself off and start again! If you have a bad meal. dust yourself off and start again! There is NO RULE that says if you eat junk, the rest of the day is trashed. You binge, shake it off and make healthy choices next meal. I try to add in little treats into my daily calorie goals, and I've recently found that I'm not a breakfast person, and I personally do better with pushing meal 1 out until 9:30 or 10, as it gives me more calories in the evening, when I usually want a snack or a treat. If you want to add me my diary is open to friends, so you can see what I'm talking about. Just remember, take it 1 day, 1 hour, 1 meal at a time, and CONQUER it! The more often you make healthy choices, the better you'll feel, and you'll start seeing results. Also, check your calories based on your TDEE, if you haven't. Make sure you're allowing yourself enough calories! The more deprived I feel, the more likely I am to binge. Don't punish your body, love it enough to nourish it with good healthy food, and treats here and there! Remember the quote, fall down 7 times, stand up 8!!! Good luck OP! You got this! :flowerforyou:

(3) If you are really struggling with depression and anxiety and cutting, work on that. Don't misdirect the biggest health concerns you have by thinking "oh if only I was thin, all my problems would vanish..." I speak from experience. If you have a life-long tendency to have unhealthy coping mechanisms, get some cognitive/behavioral therapy to help you cope using healthy tactics. Believe me, I totally understand. But the underlying issue with your weight is your coping issues. Deal with them now, or face a life of frustration and disappointment and misery.

This. Cutting and bingeing can come from the same place -- they're both stress relief tactics, so you need to find other coping mechanisms that are good for you. It's probably not about the food, just like cutting isn't about the cutting. It's all about the stress.

Are there things you can do, like take your son for a walk or take a bath, when you feel like bingeing? Sometimes, just changing your environment until the trigger passes can help.

Get back to eating healthy again. Today. Right now. Don't say that you'll start again tomorrow, because you probably won't. Don't weigh yourself for a week or so, because the unhealthy eating probably added back on some water weight.

Most of all, tell yourself that your health and your son are more important than the high you get from eating too much. Before you eat out of stress/emotion/depression, take a walk around the block, talk it out with a trusted friend, come on here and read the message boards. You can find inspiration from the people on here.

You can do it! Just have faith in yourself.

(3) If you are really struggling with depression and anxiety and cutting, work on that. ...

This. Cutting and bingeing can come from the same place -- they're both stress relief tactics, so you need to find other coping mechanisms that are good for you...

I can't re-state this enough ^^

Everyone learns how to deal with their stress, and we don't all do it the same. If you have a habit of dealing with stress a particular way, then it can be tough to start new habits. Once you have a new habit/coping mechanism, it's hard to explain to your past self how it works, since what you do to cope seems so LAME once you say it outloud.

For instance, and it sounds dumb, but it works for me:
(1) In my most stressful moments, I find my "happy place"
(2) Instead of actually EATING food when I want to eat food, I make overly complex, multi-stage foods. Like homemade yogurt or crackers. Things you can EASILY buy in the store for cheaper. But the act of thinking about the food, researching the recipe, buying the ingredients, making the food, waiting a day while it marinades or whatever... it fills a need; I can't explain it. In short, I turned from an "eater" into a "foodie."
(3) most day-to-day stress, I can now just distract myself by thinking of something else. But it took practice and time to reach this point.

You can do it, too. Get some therapy. Buy some stress-buster self-help books. Whatever you think you'd respond to. Heck, do them all.

I've had chronic depression for what seems like forever, so I understand where you're coming from. There are days I feel so empty and hopeless that I just want to give up, chuck all my good food into the trash, and binge like there's no tomorrow. Then I take time to play a game on my computer or nap or go for a walk or just do *something* till the moment passes. Then I have a half cup of no sugar added ice cream or something else that tastes good, log it, and move on.

There's no reason you can't enjoy the food you eat. Take a look at my diary if you want and you can see that I haven't been rigid in eating the "best" of food, but I've managed to lose 27 pounds despite it. I admit, it's easier for me, since I live alone and am accountable to no one, but I'm learning to make good food and enjoy what I eat. I have plans to make honey-baked chicken wings this upcoming weekend and pack some for the dog show next weekend--so even "normal" food is possible on a limited calorie meal plan.

Good luck to you--I hope you can find your inner strength. It's difficult, but doable. Feel free to friend request me if you'd like.

So much great advice and motivation from everyone, we have all fallen so totally understand and we all get fed up/tired


You have to decide which tired you would rather be... Good luck