I messed up.

You want to know a secret? It's okay to fall off. We're human and that happens. There's no reason to feel bad about it. I'm sure everyone has fallen off at some point. The great thing is that you're back on and trying again. It's only a failure if you give up completely.

so ya messed up... but you caught yourself! you didn't just fall straight back in to the point of no return. do your best to get back on track.
It's okay to spoil yourself every once in a while. As long as you eat healthily a majority of the time and get back to working out.
I believe in you

You want to know a secret? It's okay to fall off. We're human and that happens. There's no reason to feel bad about it. I'm sure everyone has fallen off at some point. The great thing is that you're back on and trying again. It's only a failure if you give up completely.

Exactly what she said.
There's nothing I can add that would make that more perfect.

Have you ever heard the phrase "shake it off and step up", or the story behind it?

One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realising what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly. Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down completely.

The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing some thing amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of all the neighbors. Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to not let it bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

It happens, don't beat yourself up over it.

Even the phrasing of the topic title "I messed up" is giving it more weight than you should.

You're still 20lbs down on your starting weight... That's the number you should be focused on.

To help you even more - you can refelct on what has passed - and look at what happended when you fell off the wagon - objectively so you can avoid that situation again -and recognise it and think of new ways to cope with it in a more positive healthy way.

If you were feeling really down when you fell off - what else (apart from food) could have helped you to feel good? Hobbies? dancing? rollercoasters, spending time with friends? gardening? There must be something you enjoy doing - use that as your "pick me up" instead of your go-to food choices.

When you successfully avoid the food options - you can reward your self with a film or a new book or something else that you want - dangle little carrots that appeal to you personally that will motivate you to stay strong whilst you form new healthy habits.

I'm walking proof that this CBT method works.

(CBT=Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

That donkey story is pretty awesome, I had never heard it before so thanks to the poster for that.

But I like you also fell off awhile ago. I went from about 180 to 150 and still had a ways to go except that I fell off. I rejoined this year back up at 180 and I am currently working through that at 166. It happens to everybody! Life gets in the way and your priorities shift. Back then I fell off because I was enjoying life quite a bit without having the priority of being healthy. Now I am engaged and getting married and the priority of being healthy is huge. I want to be healthy for my future and I want to remain healthy especially if I have kids. You just have to make sure it is a priority in your life. What you have to your benefit is that you know how hard you worked and what you did before that worked for you, use that to get you back to where you were and then continue the journey to meet your goals. There will always be rough days and some days that are fantastic, what matters is how you bounce back and continuing.

You got this!! Feel free to add me if you are looking for friends of support! I also found that being more social with this site has helped me this time tremendously. It really holds me accountable instead of being MIA with nobody to answer to or to share my successes and hiccups. Most people here are very helpful and supportive!

One of my favorites quotes is from Thomas Edison "I haven't failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work".

You have found out that you need to keep logging. You need to stay active and you need to be vigilant. And thank you for sharing that lesson with us!

You can do this, you're dedicated to your long term health and taking the right steps. You will do this. Stay positive and don't beat yourself up for the lessons learned.