Don't Wait Until You Are Thinner...

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2

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  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    Thank you very much for writing this, it really helped me today. :)

    It helps me to have people understand. Thank you!
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    I really love this. Thank you. Even though I do date, sometimes I feel like I don't want to fall in love until I am at my ideal goal. Which is silly.:noway:

    I totally get this, against all logic, since we should fall in love with people who accept us for what we are.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    I actually think the fact that things were going so well in my life and my confidence was way up already was why I felt comfortable starting a weight loss/healthier lifestyle journey. I started calorie restricting because my boyfriend had to go on a VLC meal-replacement diet (medically monitored, he's mostly off it now, though I kind of hope he keeps the bars around because they make great snacks and are well-balanced and *tasty*), and I wanted to be supportive, but before that even happened I had already been kicking butt at school while working insane hours, and had already started buying nicer things for myself - better quality bras and clothing, better skincare, just generally treating myself as an adult and a worthwhile person. When I walked for graduation I had already lost about 15 pounds, but that's not why I felt awesome. Now I feel good, look good, and have real goals and it's all part of the same thing. I didn't have to lose weight to feel confident, I had to feel confident to lose weight.

    I love this. It really resonates with me.
  • kherrons
    kherrons Posts: 99 Member
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    The best post I'll read all day, likely all week. Thank you :)
  • nykismile
    nykismile Posts: 198
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    I spent far too long trying to be someone I'm not.

    I'm not gonna wait until I'm my goal weight to go out and meet someone. Because even if I did have my definition of a "perfect" body, I would still have plenty of flaws. I'm still going to be a nervous, frantic, Game of Thrones obsessed and Steampunk obsessed gal who listens to the same songs over and over again.

    But I'm me, and I'm the only one I got. I think I understand that now.
  • jinxiemay
    jinxiemay Posts: 17
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    This is the same reason why I never go out and do anything anymore either. I do ditch people if who I am inside isn't good enough but what happens when there's no one around but my dog because EVERYONE wants you to be a top model?
  • ashleydawndill
    ashleydawndill Posts: 242 Member
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    This is a fantastic thread. Your post is very insightful and wise, and great advice to everyone. I admire you for how far you've come emotionally-- it's somewhere I'm working at getting to as well.

    Bookmarking this, so I can come back and read it again on days I mentally abuse myself. Thank you so much, and congrats on everything you've achieved (and will continue to achieve). :)
  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
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    Great advice! Thanks OP!!!
  • avril2626
    avril2626 Posts: 699 Member
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    I really love this. Thank you. Even though I do date, sometimes I feel like I don't want to fall in love until I am at my ideal goal. Which is silly.:noway:

    I totally get this, against all logic, since we should fall in love with people who accept us for what we are.


    Was out on the bay with my boyfriend Monday, and we had packed lunch...mine my normal healthier these days, and I jokingly told him that, "now I can get back to my normal weight, because I know you Really love me". I was joking, but there may be a tiny shred of truth in that jesting...in some moments of doubt or insecurity. And also...what a lucky guy!! lol
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    I spent far too long trying to be someone I'm not.

    I'm not gonna wait until I'm my goal weight to go out and meet someone. Because even if I did have my definition of a "perfect" body, I would still have plenty of flaws. I'm still going to be a nervous, frantic, Game of Thrones obsessed and Steampunk obsessed gal who listens to the same songs over and over again.

    But I'm me, and I'm the only one I got. I think I understand that now.

    I love what you wrote here. I've read some of your other posts in the past and just want to say: take good care of yourself.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    This is the same reason why I never go out and do anything anymore either. I do ditch people if who I am inside isn't good enough but what happens when there's no one around but my dog because EVERYONE wants you to be a top model?

    Ack, I know. But, like my doggie, I bet your pup is worth 100 times the average person.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    This is a fantastic thread. Your post is very insightful and wise, and great advice to everyone. I admire you for how far you've come emotionally-- it's somewhere I'm working at getting to as well.

    Bookmarking this, so I can come back and read it again on days I mentally abuse myself. Thank you so much, and congrats on everything you've achieved (and will continue to achieve). :)

    Wow, thank you so much. This thread is helping me too, just helping me feel more connected to others who understand.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    I really love this. Thank you. Even though I do date, sometimes I feel like I don't want to fall in love until I am at my ideal goal. Which is silly.:noway:

    I totally get this, against all logic, since we should fall in love with people who accept us for what we are.


    Was out on the bay with my boyfriend Monday, and we had packed lunch...mine my normal healthier these days, and I jokingly told him that, "now I can get back to my normal weight, because I know you Really love me". I was joking, but there may be a tiny shred of truth in that jesting...in some moments of doubt or insecurity. And also...what a lucky guy!! lol

    Oh the minute I find someone for keeps I'm going back to my chocolate-covered pork rinds diet.

    (kidding :)

    (maybe)
  • WildcatDeLalune
    WildcatDeLalune Posts: 74 Member
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    This is great advice. Don't wait until you're perfect, because you will never be perfect. Seriously. We are human which means we are imperfect. You need to learn to live life now.

    ^^^ And thanks, OP, for this wonderful, motivating post. ^_^.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    This is great advice. Don't wait until you're perfect, because you will never be perfect. Seriously. We are human which means we are imperfect. You need to learn to live life now.

    ^^^ And thanks, OP, for this wonderful, motivating post. ^_^.

    Oh, thank you!
  • WildcatDeLalune
    WildcatDeLalune Posts: 74 Member
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    I actually think the fact that things were going so well in my life and my confidence was way up already was why I felt comfortable starting a weight loss/healthier lifestyle journey. I started calorie restricting because my boyfriend had to go on a VLC meal-replacement diet (medically monitored, he's mostly off it now, though I kind of hope he keeps the bars around because they make great snacks and are well-balanced and *tasty*), and I wanted to be supportive, but before that even happened I had already been kicking butt at school while working insane hours, and had already started buying nicer things for myself - better quality bras and clothing, better skincare, just generally treating myself as an adult and a worthwhile person. When I walked for graduation I had already lost about 15 pounds, but that's not why I felt awesome. Now I feel good, look good, and have real goals and it's all part of the same thing. I didn't have to lose weight to feel confident, I had to feel confident to lose weight.

    <3 this!!!
  • teambora
    teambora Posts: 14
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    Oh this post makes me a little emotional. I feel like I have been waiting to start my life until I am 'good enough'. I'm still struggling with it to be honest. I'm trying to find confidence within myself. For me it's the fear of judgement and rejection by others.

    Would love to hear how others have managed to find confidence and get over this barrier.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    Oh this post makes me a little emotional. I feel like I have been waiting to start my life until I am 'good enough'. I'm still struggling with it to be honest. I'm trying to find confidence within myself. For me it's the fear of judgement and rejection by others.

    Would love to hear how others have managed to find confidence and get over this barrier.

    It is so painful to me when I look back at the chances and experiences I missed because I thought I wasn't good enough. I connect to your struggle. Lately I've been trying to remember that the single best thing I can do to boost my confidence is really, truly give myself credit for the small successes. Every time I acknowledge and honor the small steps I take, I feel a little better. A little stronger. And with every movement forward I respect myself. And I also respect myself if I fall, because it's a chance to get back up again. Getting back up is everything, even if you have to start at a crawl. As long as I am in motion, forward or backwards, I'm engaging with life. If I have a day where I can't get up off the floor, I'll just use the time to visualize a healthier, happier me. Nothing on the journey is a waste. It all feeds into believing in myself. We're not really standing still at all. We are all in motion. And we are all good enough.
  • swertyqwerty
    swertyqwerty Posts: 81 Member
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    I feel exactly the same way, but I don't have the strength to resist these toxic feelings like you do.
    Somewhere inside I want to put my life on hold, even if it means never really living.
    I don't want to put myself out there to get rejected right now.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    beautifully said! :flowerforyou:

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