How do you stop the negative self-talk?

Just as you have taken steps to improve your body so must you take steps to improve your self image. Sometimes the two don't go hand in hand and you have to manually "reset" the faulty image that you have chained to yourself.

Unfortunately it is late here in the UK and I need my beauty sleep (a boy like me doesn't stay handsome by accident I don't have much time to discuss it now although it is a fascinating subject.

However before I go I would thoroughly recommend reading a book called "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz. Even though it is over 50 years old it is an amazing piece of work on this subject. Essentially, Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon who noticed a curious phemenon in some of his patients: they were no happier after the surgery he provided, sometimes even after scars or malformations were removed and still felt "ugly" or unchanged. This lead him to explore the reasons why and how self image guides or behaviour and goals. He outlines the use of affirmations, visualisation techniques, objectivity and rationality amongst other things to change a negative self image to a positive one.

I don't know - I try to focus on the positive but it's very hard sometimes. I feel like when the diet is going well I can focus, not on how much I hate my body, but how I am working towards a better one and it won't be like this forever. But, I still hate how I look and have trouble realising the significance of how much I have actually lost - 66lbs and 4 dress sizes. If you figure out a way, let me know what it is!

I really liked ajweekley's idea!! Its been a journey with my negative talk as well. What I am learning as that we got that thought from somewhere. We reacted to a situation and internalized it when it could have had nothing to do with us. I started reading this book by by Byron Katie called " I need your love - is that true?" I am only in the third chapter but I LOVE it! There has been some much in just three chapter but one of the things that I did right away is when you have a negative thought you question yourself if its really true or if you really believe that. Then you turn it into something positive.
Negative thoughts will come I think its part of the human nature but we can also rewire our habits and our thoughts I think are one of our oldest habits. Its something we do effortlessly so with some effort I believe we can maybe not eliminate it but definitely have more positive then negative. I remember in High School a teacher of mine gave us each a piece of paper and we wrote IALAC on one side. It stood for I Am Loveable And Capable. The assignment was for 24 hours everytime we said to someone else or thought a negative comment about yourself we were to tear a section of the paper. We brought it back the next day and had to show how much we had left. Some had nothing left but everybody had chunks missing. I don't remember what he had us do after that but the experience stayed with me. While completing my student teaching I made laminated business card size inspiration cards for the 4th grade students I was working with. On one side I put IALAC (I AM LOVEABLE AND CAPABLE) and on the other my favorite quote from a book called "The Knight in Rusty Armour" by Robert Fisher. It said, "Though this universe I own,
I possess not a thing.
For I cannot know the unknown,
If to the known I cling."
-Robert Fisher
I discussed the quote with the students of course. Well two years later I saw one of those students and she pulled out her wallet and showed me the card I had given her. It was an awesome felling. I too have that card in my purse and when I need it I pull it out.
Anyway I wish you good luck. You have come so far and life is a learning process. I hope you are able to overcome the negative self talk and replace it with some positive self talk because you know what? YOU ARE LOVEABLE AND CAPABLE!! :-)

Just think about how many years you have been thinking that way and been negative self talking to yourself. It will take time and work to change that negative talk. Try to think about where that core belief (that you are not good enough or something like that) is coming from and challenge yourself to change it.

I can totally relate.

I think the suggestion to write something positive for each negative thought is a great idea! Repeat it and keep it up!

Thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement. I will try the list thing, though I am by far my own worst critic and may have a hard time coming up with good stuff to balance out the bad - do you think it would be okay to ask my husband or a friend to help with the list?

Totally! Try it on your own though first. Even in your first post in this thread, you had some positives there. "Instead of focusing on this, I see only this." Write down the things you know are there but have trouble seeing. That's what you need to focus on. But yes, if you can't come up with enough positives, totally ask for help. Sometimes we just need a little boost to kicking out those bad mental habits. Because you know, beating yourself up is just a bad habit, and it can be changed, just as you've changed your eating habits and workout habits. The only difference is it's an internal habit, so we have to approach them in a different way. Let your husband and friends help you, if they're supportive. They'll be a great resource for you.

Sooooo many AWESOME responses!!! They are all incredibly relevant. Thank you for asking this question. I think its really an often overlooked aspect to the weightloss/fitness "journey".

It seems to me that the "head game" is an important one to address in trying to lose weight. I was just talking to a friend about how the sheer desire to lose isn't necessarily enough to make it happen.

I use self-hypnosis deep-relaxation weight-loss CD's to fall asleep to at night. The messages are incredibly positive and uplifting and even if I fall straight asleep, on a subconscious level I am listening. I find times during the day when I know I'm thinking a thought that had been introduced or reinforced to me via the CD's. The one I listen to most often is about the "mindfulness" of eating. I regard my recording of my food on myfitnesspal to be a daily act of "mindfulness". And really, the opposite is what I used to do and that is "mindless" eating!

It was mentioned earlier that negative thinking has a place in this process as well and I agree. When I was trying to quit smoking I regularly visualized the diseases I may suffer from if I kept smoking. I had a friend who's a lung doctor talk to me about all the very sick people he was treating who suffered from smoking related illness. I do that with weight loss too....kind of like the old drug program: Scared Straight. I don't want to be incapacitated by obesity or its related diseases!

This website and this forum also serve to help us with our psychological needs during this effort. Everyone here, for the most part, is incredibly supportive and understanding.

I wish you great success as you continue to get healthy!
JoJo