My 4 year old just made me cry

mkdm291
mkdm291 Posts: 139 Member
in Motivation and Support
Great. Worked out hard today and I've been really careful with eating. Friends on their way to come over for dinner and I'm treating myseld to a glass of white wine after cooking and cleaning all day.
My 4 year old came in and said "Mommy, you have a fat tummy." TEARS!
I'm wearing a roomy shirt b/c my friend who is coming over is a personal fitnes instructor and I'm self-conscious enough around her.
UGH! I told him saying such things will hurt someone's feelings and he felt sorry.... but out of the mouths of babes :sad:

Replies

  • Kitship
    Kitship Posts: 579 Member
    Aw, out of the mouths of babes is right! I once had a 5 year old girl tell me the same exact thing: "You have a really big belly". I was at a birthday party, and she said it in front of a bunch of people! I think her mother was more mortified than I was.
  • Pandapotato
    Pandapotato Posts: 68 Member
    Aw, sorry you feel bad. It's literally meaningless, though. My 7 year old is rail thin and if she eats a lot all day she'll joke around and be like, "LOOOK AT MY FAT TUMMY!" as a funny thing. (I'm very careful not to say that stuff about myself/others around her. We focus on being healthy and energetic, ont skinny.)

    Don't let it get you down!
  • mkdm291
    mkdm291 Posts: 139 Member
    Thanks all. He's obsessed with that show "Peppa Pig" (if you have young children who watch Nick Jr. that makes sense), so everything is a 'pig' to him. But it stung!!!
  • Spreyton22K
    Spreyton22K Posts: 323 Member
    Aw Darlin'....you were already on edge over the lady coming for tea and you feel self conscious, so your little one's innocent comment put you over the edge.

    Try not to take it to heart....kids are honest to a fault and don't have the adult filters we sometimes need when our feelings are raw but that's our problem not theirs.....

    I'm sure your little boy was terribly upset about upsetting you.

    Hope the meal went OK.
  • mkdm291
    mkdm291 Posts: 139 Member
    Totally agree. I didn't dwell on it with him b/c he truly doesn't know any better. We're good!
    And to be perfectly honest... yes. The fitness instructor is very intimidating. She's the wife of a dear friend of myself and my husband. I'm dealing with my own insecurities here!
    Thanks for the words!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    My daughter regularly tells me I have a big butt. And I do, compared to her little butt.

    She also tells me that I look pregnant or have a big tummy (on days when I am a bit bloated) - and I have a 6 pack.

    Kids are kids, and its good that you realize it wasn't what your 4year old said that made you cry.

    But you may want to be sure that you insulate him a bit more from your own self esteem issues, because that's patterning that you don't want to imprint on him.


    *********
    for the record... when my daughter told me that I had a big butt, that was WAAAAAAY bigger than hers... I may have childishly said something to the effect of, yeah, well my boobs are bigger than yours too!

    :embarrassed:
  • ZTazlor
    ZTazlor Posts: 65 Member

    for the record... when my daughter told me that I had a big butt, that was WAAAAAAY bigger than hers... I may have childishly said something to the effect of, yeah, well my boobs are bigger than yours too!

    :embarrassed:

    Love It - GOLD!!
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    I had a little girl ask me in a room full of people, "why are these so big?" while patting my thighs.

    I've been insecure over my thighs ever since lol.
  • tyrannosarausREX
    tyrannosarausREX Posts: 32
    Children say things that they don't realize will hurt us. I'm sorry that it was your child who said this but one day they will realize how much it really hurts.

    A few years ago I had quite short hair and I had a little girl ask if I was a boy or a girl. If that makes you feel any better.
  • Snail_Whale
    Snail_Whale Posts: 21 Member
    IMHO, young kids don't mean half the stuff that comes out of their mouths...my six year old son told me he hated me at least ten times in as many days....so...I just take fat comments in stride.

    I know it's hard, but don't let it get to you, folks.
  • ge105
    ge105 Posts: 268 Member
    I met one of my grandfathers exactly once when I was like 5 and I still remember the the conversation. I sad "Hi- you're fat" and he said "Yeah? Well you smell like a skunk". lmao! That was the only conversation I had with him and I never met my other grandpa at all. Pretty hilarious if you ask me.

    -pretty sure kids don't realize that stuff hurts
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Sorry :-( I know it hurts but kids often say things and don't realize it's hurtful.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
    Kids just come out with stuff all the time, but honestly I think you smartly turned it into a valuable lesson for him by teaching him that you can't say things like that about people because it can hurt their feelings. It will make him a more empathetic person in the end IMO.

    My daughter's daycare teachers used to say "say it inside your head" to the kids instead of saying it out loud.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    Say Shutup, kid! It was carrying you around in it for nine months that voided the warranty!
  • sslopez24
    sslopez24 Posts: 110 Member
    He's obsessed with that show "Peppa Pig" (if you have young children who watch Nick Jr. that makes sense), so everything is a 'pig' to him. But it stung!!!

    My daughter loves this show too! She often tells me I have a baby in my tummy. It makes me sad but I know it's the only way she can describe my belly and it's not like it's not blown out a bit :blushing:
    My daughter also says "eeewwww!" when I change in front of her. That used to make me feel bad too until I found out that she did that to a model in her under garments on a magazine too. I guess she says it cause we are in our undies, not because she see's my blubber! :laugh:

    Kids are only honest. They aren't trying to be mean. I Know that! It just hurts when you're trying so hard to lose and it's not noticeable yet! :sad: Hang in there, they love us no matter what we look like!!:heart::heart: :flowerforyou:
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    One time my best friend's younger adolescent brother called me fat. I just looked at him weird because I was an active 16 year old at the time, not even remotely fat. My friend didn't say anything at all....she just went over and started punching him repeatedly. I still laugh about it.
  • mkdm291
    mkdm291 Posts: 139 Member
    I love the feedback! Thanks everyone. I love him more than life itself. Yes... my body changed because of them ( I have 2) and I wouldn't change that for the world!
    For the record.. he didn't SEE me cry. I knew enough to take that away and he knew enough that he needs to watch his words around other people... Naturally, I don't want him to say this to a stranger.
    I know I have work to do and for the first time in 7 years (since I had my first) I am working on it. The support is awesome. I have never used the message board before this week and I find in invaluable!
    Thanks again. Can't wait to publish some updates....
  • motal003
    motal003 Posts: 28
    I am not sure about your son, but I have a friend who has a lil tiny muffin top and once she was in the bathroom working out with a bra on and her daughter saw that tiny lil muffin top and called it fat.

    Remember, kids, specially 4 year olds, don't have a wide range of vocabulary.

    So maybe your son meant something like "ohh I see a lil muffin top" to tease you or something...
  • tattooednurse01
    tattooednurse01 Posts: 7 Member
    A lot of people say how truthful kids are, and it's true they really are, HOWEVER, they also don't have all the facts correct sometimes. Example, my 5 year old asked me if sometimes does my penis hurt.... I'm a woman! So your baby may have that but she doesn't have all the facts about what a body is supposed to look like. HTH
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    at least you can blame it on him being four. try having three teenage sons who are health and fitness finatics who think it is okay to poke me in the belly and say I need to workout more. yay. teenagers ugg. don't take it so hard. kids are just generally looking out for you and call it like it is. four is the literal age. I bet you look a whole lot better than you give yourself credit for. We are our own worst critics. He is right however. Wearing too big of clothes does make you look double your actual size. I am always telling this to my larger but curvy/busty bff. I don't care how big you think you are, show off them curves. You are working on it. That is the most important. At least you still got time to teach your kid that tact and not saying things to make mom's feelings hurt isn't nice. My boys don't care. lol:flowerforyou:
  • Leah_62803
    Leah_62803 Posts: 292 Member
    Try not to let it bother you. :) I have a 5 year old son and I don't think he really understands what "fat" is and I know that he doesn't really understand that saying "you're fat" is not a nice thing to say.

    He actually said to me a few days ago "Mom, I don't like fat girls...but I still love you. You're the only fat girl I like." Uh,ok. Thanks, jerk. Lol.

    Kids are crazy though. I have my 3 year old daughter lifting little 2lb weights at night (for fun, not seriously) because a couple weeks ago I told her that she was strong and she said "I know! I am getting so strong I'm almost a boy!" Then she proceeded to argue with me because her 5 year old brother had convinced her that she was going to turn into a boy if she got too strong.
    So now she "lifts" the 2lb weights while I tell her what a big strong GIRL she is.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    I stick out my belly, hunch over, grab the excess and shake for it for my four year old. It makes him giggle and his giggles make me laugh. Sometimes he pats my tummy and we play mommy tummy drum. As long as I'm actively working towards my goal, I don't care if I'm not at goal and neither does he. Embrace what you are now and that you're working towards a change. You'll be happier and you'll get more giggles out of it rather than tears.
  • Polishprinsezz
    Polishprinsezz Posts: 249 Member
    i have had this happen to me too. the only one i am upset with is myself for abusing my body and getting so fat in the first place.

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