Fealing Defeated

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Replies

  • pythagarus
    pythagarus Posts: 16
    I understand the effects of depression. I suffered from Major clinical depression and PTSD. I became agoraphobic and passed my time by eating and watching television. One of the biggest factors in conquering the spiral cycle of defeat was for me to get moving. Taking a walk releases endorphins and it helps you achieve a little clarity. It stops that nagging voice that says " Why bother because........"even if just for a little while. You should talk to your doctor and tell them that you want to be healthier. Perhaps a different antidepressant would be better suited to being more active.
    You are not alone. Log in here and find the support and encouragement you need to start feeling a little better every day.
    "The longest journey begins with a single step. "
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    (3) If you are really struggling with depression and anxiety and cutting, work on that. Don't misdirect the biggest health concerns you have by thinking "oh if only I was thin, all my problems would vanish..." I speak from experience. If you have a life-long tendency to have unhealthy coping mechanisms, get some cognitive/behavioral therapy to help you cope using healthy tactics. Believe me, I totally understand. But the underlying issue with your weight is your coping issues. Deal with them now, or face a life of frustration and disappointment and misery.
    This. Cutting and bingeing can come from the same place -- they're both stress relief tactics, so you need to find other coping mechanisms that are good for you. It's probably not about the food, just like cutting isn't about the cutting. It's all about the stress.

    Are there things you can do, like take your son for a walk or take a bath, when you feel like bingeing? Sometimes, just changing your environment until the trigger passes can help.
  • dcmassena
    dcmassena Posts: 11
    1. Don't make excuses about being an emotional eater.....be an emotional exerciser instead.

    2. Don't blame your husband, my wife leaves junk food in our house all the time.

    3. When you do not log or weigh yourself you are lying to yourself.

    4. Food is fuel for your body....there is no reason to eat more than you can burn.

    5. Being hungry doesn't hurt as much as being fat feels.

    You can do this, the tools are right here for you. There are a lot of people in here that have been sucessful and so can you. Get yourself in order starting again RIGHT NOW! Log your food and maintain your calories....and if you are feeling tempted to eat garbage......get off your *kitten* RIGHT NOW and go for a walk or do some exercise. I promise you will feel better.

    +1 on all of this. You can do this. Trust me. I used to be in the same situation. I finally had a true heart to heart with myself and decided I would stop making excuses. Yes it is hard. I still struggle with it some times. I love to eat. Eating has always been a cop out for me. When I was depressed, I ate junk. When I wasn't happy I looked for happiness in junk food. Now when I'm having a pity party for myself I go do something physical anything at all is better than sitting around moping about being fat. You CAN do this!
  • mom2_4gr8kids
    mom2_4gr8kids Posts: 74
    Get back to eating healthy again. Today. Right now. Don't say that you'll start again tomorrow, because you probably won't. Don't weigh yourself for a week or so, because the unhealthy eating probably added back on some water weight.

    Most of all, tell yourself that your health and your son are more important than the high you get from eating too much. Before you eat out of stress/emotion/depression, take a walk around the block, talk it out with a trusted friend, come on here and read the message boards. You can find inspiration from the people on here.

    You can do it! Just have faith in yourself.
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
    I understand how you feel. Our minds can really torment us and ruin everything. But we can change our own thinking. It is actually possible.

    1. You need more happiness in your life. What would you do to be happy if food was not an option?
    2. You need to untangle your emotions. One by one, identify solvable issues and work on them. That's a really long term strategy that will make you strong for life.
    3. Reduce the junk- it can affect your mood and your cravings. Eating real food is liberating. I used to never be hungry and never be full. That's a bad feeling. Now, I eat a good meal, feel really good, and when I'm actually hungry a few hours later I eat a good, filling meal. And I really don't need the treats and snacks, except once every few days for fun

    Don't give up- you deserve the life you imagine!!!
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    (3) If you are really struggling with depression and anxiety and cutting, work on that. ...
    This. Cutting and bingeing can come from the same place -- they're both stress relief tactics, so you need to find other coping mechanisms that are good for you...

    I can't re-state this enough ^^

    Everyone learns how to deal with their stress, and we don't all do it the same. If you have a habit of dealing with stress a particular way, then it can be tough to start new habits. Once you have a new habit/coping mechanism, it's hard to explain to your past self how it works, since what you do to cope seems so LAME once you say it outloud.

    For instance, and it sounds dumb, but it works for me:
    (1) In my most stressful moments, I find my "happy place"
    (2) Instead of actually EATING food when I want to eat food, I make overly complex, multi-stage foods. Like homemade yogurt or crackers. Things you can EASILY buy in the store for cheaper. But the act of thinking about the food, researching the recipe, buying the ingredients, making the food, waiting a day while it marinades or whatever... it fills a need; I can't explain it. In short, I turned from an "eater" into a "foodie."
    (3) most day-to-day stress, I can now just distract myself by thinking of something else. But it took practice and time to reach this point.

    You can do it, too. Get some therapy. Buy some stress-buster self-help books. Whatever you think you'd respond to. Heck, do them all.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    You have already received a lot of great advice, but I just wanted to add this:

    Sit down and write out a list of why you want to lose weight and what your goals are. Your goals don't have to be about the number on the scale. When you feel defeated, wanting to binge, or just give up, pull out that list and read it. Maybe taking that moment to take the focus off of the urge to binge and focus on your whys will help give you time to figure out a more healthier way to cope with the stress.
  • LoupGarouTFTs
    LoupGarouTFTs Posts: 916 Member
    I've had chronic depression for what seems like forever, so I understand where you're coming from. There are days I feel so empty and hopeless that I just want to give up, chuck all my good food into the trash, and binge like there's no tomorrow. Then I take time to play a game on my computer or nap or go for a walk or just do *something* till the moment passes. Then I have a half cup of no sugar added ice cream or something else that tastes good, log it, and move on.

    There's no reason you can't enjoy the food you eat. Take a look at my diary if you want and you can see that I haven't been rigid in eating the "best" of food, but I've managed to lose 27 pounds despite it. I admit, it's easier for me, since I live alone and am accountable to no one, but I'm learning to make good food and enjoy what I eat. I have plans to make honey-baked chicken wings this upcoming weekend and pack some for the dog show next weekend--so even "normal" food is possible on a limited calorie meal plan.

    Good luck to you--I hope you can find your inner strength. It's difficult, but doable. Feel free to friend request me if you'd like. :)
  • abear007
    abear007 Posts: 84 Member
    Sorry to vent and throw it out there. I'm just so discouraged, and when I get like this I just give up for years.....
    One thing I had to finally come around and recognize is that I am a food addict. I LOVE sugar and I LOVE wheat based foods (bread, pasta, etc.) and most everything that is processed has one or the other or both. (Hell, 80% of the food at the store has been injected with the stuff.) Once I was willing to admit my addiction - along with understanding all the other health problems associated with those foods - that made the transition easier.

    I'm currently eating sugar free and wheat free - not counting calories at all and it's working great so far. The big plus is that I don't feel hungry as I did when I was focused on counting calories all the time. I have even been able to incorporate a small treat that's supposed to be good for you - a small piece of good quality dark chocolate and it hasn't halted my progress at all.

    Ultimately loosing weight is a mind thing. You've got to want it enough that you're willing to have the patience to do what it takes to get there.
  • Changingmyfatitude
    Changingmyfatitude Posts: 97 Member
    So much great advice and motivation from everyone, we have all fallen so totally understand and we all get fed up/tired


    You have to decide which tired you would rather be... Good luck
  • justagrrl898
    justagrrl898 Posts: 27
    Thanks guys!!

    I feel the need to elaborate on a couple things.....I used to cut maybe 10 years ago, and began packing on lbs then (well more that I did have, Ive always been overweight). I have been in counseling and for the most part have gotten the depression and anxiety under control, except for the eating part. I did a 12 week Mindfulness class that opened my eyes a ton. One week was on mindful eating.....BAM opened my eyes WIDE and so here I am again trying. It was about mindful eating and how we were not even tasting our food.....was very eye opening. I will ALWAYS struggle with depression and anxiety....but getting tools to help them are wonderful, along with medication and constant learning.

    Your advise is great and truly appreciated. For lunch I had a salad and fruit.....im back on the bandwagon. Thanks!!! :)
  • justagrrl898
    justagrrl898 Posts: 27
    Got on the scale today and lost 1.9 lbs this week!!! Not to shabby!!! Thank you!!!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Glad to hear that.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Are you able to see a doctor? If so, I think you should address the depression and anxiety issues with your doctor.
    I've been exactly where you are right now. It's not fun. Without getting into a long sob story, I'll just tell you that I've been there and made it ! I was so sick of being fat, I tried every fad diet, and gave up so many times. It was awful. It was a vicious cycle of being depressed about being fat, and still over eating.
    The good news is, that mfp does work. All you need is a digital food scale and measuring cups :-) you don't need any fads or gimmicks. Once you get in the mindset that you want this to work, it will become part of your daily routine. You can do this, and it does work!!! I weigh 135 now, wear a size 4 , and feel great!! The choice is yours. If you want it, then do it!!! :-)
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
    Got on the scale today and lost 1.9 lbs this week!!! Not to shabby!!! Thank you!!!

    Way to go, very glad to hear this. Most everyone on this site has had feeling of being Defeated at some point......but we all push through and get on track for success. The only one guarantee in life is that you only get one life, this is your life, MFP and one or two years of dedication is going to help you make it an awesome life!
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
    Are you able to see a doctor? If so, I think you should address the depression and anxiety issues with your doctor.
    I've been exactly where you are right now. It's not fun. Without getting into a long sob story, I'll just tell you that I've been there and made it ! I was so sick of being fat, I tried every fad diet, and gave up so many times. It was awful. It was a vicious cycle of being depressed about being fat, and still over eating.
    The good news is, that mfp does work. All you need is a digital food scale and measuring cups :-) you don't need any fads or gimmicks. Once you get in the mindset that you want this to work, it will become part of your daily routine. You can do this, and it does work!!! I weigh 135 now, wear a size 4 , and feel great!! The choice is yours. If you want it, then do it!!! :-)

    This response is A++++
  • adnama384
    adnama384 Posts: 2
    I totally understand...I go through phases where I'm doing great and then for whatever reason, I just stop and then get scared to step on the scale again. Inevitably this is followed by more self-loathing, emotional eating, and then I get so sick of myself I start all over again. It's really a vicious cycle. Right now I have been going for 3 weeks and I am feeling fantastic, tracking my food, making smart choices, doing my T-25 every day...but in the back of my mind, I wonder how long I'll stick with it. What if I get discouraged and stop again? How do I keep from doing that? Honestly, I think that reading these forums really helps...there are so many people here that have positive things to say and it helps me remember that I am not alone. I don't know about you, but it's hard for me talking about weight/body issues with friends or family, so I tend to keep everything to myself. No one can ever really understand exactly how you are feeling, but when I read the things people say on here, I realize that we all have our struggles and that I am not the only one who cries getting dressed in the morning. Setting small goals for myself, and rewarding myself each week with a pedicure or massage has helped. Also, I use the note section on the food diary and write down what I am feeling or how I did each day, and I feel like that's helped too. Just some thoughts. :) Try to remember that you are awesome, and that your MFP friends are here for you!
  • Goldilukes
    Goldilukes Posts: 45 Member
    I totally feel you on this one and do the same thing myself. I do great then it's totm and I go mad, feel down and find it hard to get back on track and even though I know each month it's coming I still get smacked in the face with it. I get back on by taking one day at a time, sounds boring but life can be some times and I find I live for highs a lot through my foods so it can be hard.
    My best tip or advice would be to start your day with something good and wholesome....the first day back on your diet make sure to eat tons of the good stuff only. Eat way over if you need to just to get you back in the habit of eating the good things and getting rid of the bad eating cravings that tend to linger.

    If I've been naughty for instance, the next day I will eat a good breakfast and plenty of veg, good fats, protein and even lots of nice fruit....anything it takes in a good way to get away from going to those bad foods. I believe over indulging in the good foods does not impact our bodies as badly as even sniffing the bad foods.

    Good luck!
  • BeginningNoStop
    BeginningNoStop Posts: 78 Member
    i'm in the same boat as you, used to be up at 4:30 every morning to get to the gym by 5. Right now, I can't even find the energy or the motivation to do it

    omgeeee this is me the past 2 weeks!! I'm determined to start back in the morning though! i want to see my ticker move and pounds lost.

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