I lost my Soulmate... HELP ME!!!

Options
axarion
axarion Posts: 8
in Health and Weight Loss
So I've been in a relationship with the same person for going on 3 years and this week they packed up all of there items and left while i was at work. Yes, My weight had become this much of an issue. I am currently 240 llbs and this is the biggest i have ever been in my life. I don't have any friends and i need advice on where to start. I am ready for a life change and to be happy with appearance again.

Replies

  • kiz456
    kiz456 Posts: 3 Member
    Options
    I'm really sorry to hear that man :(

    You really sound a lot like me tbh, I have let my weight drag me down so much over the last few years and its been an issue in every relationship I've had. The only advice I can give is, if you're not happy about something, change it. Its hard as hell but if you really want to change your life and feel better about yourself its just something you have to do.

    Start eating right and exercising as much as you can. exercise also makes you feel better if you're feeling a bit low. Its very good for helping with depression and sleeping better.

    Keep ya chin up and good luck.
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry to hear that. However a soulmate sticks it out through the good and the bad. Maybe they were your right now soulmate, but you never know what the future brings. Work through the pain, but keep hopeful. In my last relationship, which lasted 5 years, I thought it was all over when we broke up. But I went on to meet the man of my dreams. We are getting married in December on our 8th anniversary. Just so you know that the unexpected does exist out there :smile:

    For today, this seems like a motivator. But motivation is not enough. Use this push to make a habit. Don't expect perfection, and try not to focus on the end result. Learn through the process. I've restarted for the 10000th time, but I refuse to give up and so should you.

    Stay close to the community, post often to friends, and surround yourself with positive and leave the rest. I am sure that you can find the life you dream of - not the one you've stuck yourself with.

    You can do this!
  • kenyainez
    kenyainez Posts: 222 Member
    Options
    First I'm really sorry to hear that. For someone to just pick up and leave has to be heart breaking. I'm not in a relationship, but I don't believe a soul mate would do something like that to someone; so I wouldn't give them such a beautiful title. First, you need to take time to heal. Don't let your progress be on the strength of any vengeance towards them of any kind (not to show them who they lost or to get them back). Do it because it's what’s best for you. Think of how wonderful it would be to accomplish this goal and then make your plan of action from there and take action. Again, I'm really sorry about that. I hope your TRUE LOVE finds you soon. \o/
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry that they left you like that. But since they did, they are definitely not your soul mate. Those stick around no matter what. My strongest piece of advice is to make sure you are doing this for you, not that person. Then just take it one meal at a time. If you mess up, which we all do, start fresh with the next meal, not the next day, or week. Keep moving forward, and don't give up. Keep in mind that weight loss isn't liner and that you will have ups and downs depending on a plethora of variables. As long as you have a downward trend you're doing great. Hang in there. Lost love is never easy, but for real they took the punk way out by leaving while you were gone. You're better off without them.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Options
    I agree. Anyone who would leave you solely based on you having gained weight isn't someone I would label a "soul mate". If there were other issues you didn't mention, well, I'll leave that up to you to decide the merits of the complaints. I'm sure there's someone else out there for you. I'm not a believer in there being only one perfect match for every person; there are many, it's just a matter of which one you find first.

    Hopefully, this will be your "lightswitch" moment; the point at which you finally say to yourself "enough is enough, it's time to take charge of my health and well-being." Everyone of us who is here on MFP, and really using it, has had that moment. I could swear I actually heard that switch click as it hit me a few years ago that I was completely on the wrong path and it was time to make a change.

    There's a great community here. You'll find lots of support and ideas for your journey to a happier and healthier you.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Options
    Well first off, you are totally cute, so don't be so down on yourself. Second off, a break up is the perfect time to take charge of your life and your fitness. I know it might not feel like it, but now you will have more free time and really be able to focus on yourself. Don't do it just to get back at her, do it because YOU want to be better. I recently had a bad break up, not really even a break up, he just left me for another woman and didn't even tell me (thanks Facebook for letting me know). At first I was crushed and felt like how could he do this to me? I put those feelings to the side and hit the weight room. With every workout I felt stronger and my confidence came back. When you look good, you feel good. The other part of it is your mental health. When you are overweight, that can lead to depression, and also bad food choices can leave you feeling mentally foggy and with low energy. When you start feeding yourself with good food like vegetables, fruits and meats, your head will start to clear. I am a strong believer that food can be linked to depression. My suggestion to you is to surround yourself with others who are trying to get in shape. Join a boxing gym, local running club, volleyball team, or something like that where you can meet others with a healthy attitude. Surrounding yourself with good people will make yourself feel better. Take it slow, you will have good days and bad days, but soon enough, the good days will outnumber the bad.
  • axarion
    axarion Posts: 8
    Options
    I want to thank everyone for the uplifting advice it has really helped me alot in a time like this....
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
    Options
    Like everyone has already said, they were not your soul mate if they left you over weight, or anything. Someone who loves you, will stick to you through the good and the bad. They don't deserve you if that was the reason why they left.

    You can do this!! If I can, than you can!

Categories