Over 40, never married. ANYONE?

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2

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  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    well, I wasn't feeling like a freak or anything, until now.

    That made me smile!

    (and no, your'e not a freak or anything)
  • dannywells
    dannywells Posts: 2
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    I've never been married, never had kids and I love my life. I even wrote a book about it: The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree. (https://www.createspace.com/3780256). Marriage and kids are not for everybody ( a fact supported by the high divorce rates and the newfound statistic that there are now more single adults than married adults, for the first time in our country's history. Having a great life isn't about being married and/or having kids, it's about knowing yourself, what works for you, and following that path.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    I'm 45 and I've never been married. Funny when I tell people that, they look at me as though I'm a serial killer or have the plague. I've been engaged twice and broke off both relationships with good reason (I feel): one was starting to get physically abusive and the other had severe mental problems that I couldn't overlook.

    Fortunately, I do have a 22 year old daughter--so I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not having kids. And she (not that I'm blaming her) could possibly be one of the reasons why I haven't been married. I basically dedicated myself to raising her and now that she's grown I wonder...now what?

    It's not that I don't want to get married...but at 45, I feel like I'm almost set in my ways and that worries me as I wonder if I could even transition to a married lifestyle. But as someone else posted--when the right person comes along it changes our way of thinking.

    So nope...you're not alone! :)

    YOU HANG IN THERE !!! Brighter days are coming sweetie ! Im sure of it.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    your no freak. But I'm suprised no one has snatched you up. I love blue eyes and curly red hair!! Georgous!!!
  • lambertj
    lambertj Posts: 675 Member
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    I felt the same way you do until about 3 years ago when I met the most amazing man. I was 44 years young when I walked down the aisle and I am so glad I waited and had my life alone first to grow and learn but now I can't imagine not being with my husband.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I got married at 39, so no..I don't think that's freaky at all. I have several friends over 40 who were never married, and some are well adjusted and fine with it, but one is not planning for her own future because she's waiting for Prince Charming to come along and 'save" her...

    Let's be honest...a lot of women settle for someone they don't even love because they want to be married by a certain age, and being with the wrong person for the wrong reasons is so much worse than being happy by yourself!!
  • Carnivorekat
    Carnivorekat Posts: 370 Member
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    I am 39 and have unfortunately been married twice and divorced twice - both times my Ex Husbands turned out to be selfish and inconsiderate - first husband found someone else before we got married but didn't pull out so we got married when we shouldn't have, and my second husband was abusive.

    being single is not a bad thing and if you are happy then that is great - one day you might find someone special enough to want to marry but it is not the only way of life - I have no intention of getting married again and am quite happy being single at the minute - who know what might happen if I found the right man but I am not going to worry about it I do not need someone to make me whole
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
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    thanks to all for your replies. I do feel like a freak at times -- although mostly when people have strange reactions. Because clearly I must be a SERIAL KILLER. right?

    I am a passionate person and have been in love more t han once, but it seems I pick the wrong people, because so far it has not been mutual. In the meantime, I *love* my freedom and it will be hard to give up.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I'm 47. was married at 28 for nearly 8 years when my husband went to Heaven. I'm doing good on my own with 2 teens, but I would love to be married again even tho I know there are always challenges with relationships.
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
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    that is cool. BRING THEM HERE! cause right now I'm kinda embarrassed. I find that I often have to explain it, and people don't like my answer. my answer is: I didn't want to.

    I don't see a problem with it. I had a lovely time being single and I also have a lovely time with my honey (but somewhat more restricted, WHY won't he learn to enjoy tofu!?)
  • futurefitgrrl
    futurefitgrrl Posts: 4
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    I'm 43 and never been married and I don't have kids.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    i'm 42, never married. it's more a matter of me not being the right person rather not meeting the right person because i could have met the "right" person but my commitment issues would have made that moot :laugh:
  • shmerek
    shmerek Posts: 963 Member
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    Almost 43, in a relationship but I will never get married, for me it seems pointless.
  • shaynepoole
    shaynepoole Posts: 493 Member
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    I'm 43, been married and divorced twice and childless by choice :tongue:
    now content to be happily single and in no hurry to add ex-husband #3

    If you are happy with your life, who really cares what anyone else thinks about anything like that... just do you and be happy...
  • jennpaulson
    jennpaulson Posts: 850 Member
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    39 and still single here. I have really loved before but have the worst luck with love. Now I'm not actively searching for someone... If it happens it happens.
  • arscott94
    arscott94 Posts: 22 Member
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    Hi. I'll be 32 soon. Never married, no kids. Never even been close to an engagement or love or even feeling really liked a lot! I usually just don't make it out of the friend zone. The last few guys that showed some interest in me either stood me up, or things fizzled and we never got to actually go out. One guy even fell asleep at home and overslept for our date. I haven't had a solid relationship since I was a teenager! I promise I'm not crazy, or mean, or a gold digger. Most people say I'm very down to earth. The guys that do approach me are usually 400 lbs. or twice my age. I don't mean that to be condescending, but it's true.

    Guys just aren't usually in to me, but I know that the right guy is out there for me somewhere.
  • MouseFood
    MouseFood Posts: 169 Member
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    It's great to feel confident in your status/decisions ... I've been married since I was 26. I wish I'd waited longer.
    Sometimes you can't appreciate the good things about being single until you're not single anymore. It's wonderful that you can appreciate them.

    PS you're gorgeous .... it's definitely not for lack of an attractive smile and beautiful face :)
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    Oh there are things about being single married folks can appreciate....right after their spouse leaves. They get to look forward to not hearing their kids laughter. Waking up alone in bed. That feeling that you have when you realize that no one loves you best of all. Great stuff.
  • yesterdayusaid2morrow
    yesterdayusaid2morrow Posts: 121
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    Oh there are things about being single married folks can appreciate....right after their spouse leaves. They get to look forward to not hearing their kids laughter. Waking up alone in bed. That feeling that you have when you realize that no one loves you best of all. Great stuff.

    Reminded me of Louis CK
  • allielikesjazz
    allielikesjazz Posts: 3 Member
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    Agent Scully. Great name! I totally get where you're coming from. I'm 36, have never been married, and don't have children. When I was in my early 20's I desperately wanted to get married, wasn't terribly sure on kids. Now I'm absolutely sure I don't want children, and I'm pretty happy being alone. I live in an area where people marry and start families young and I tend to kinda get the perpetual side-eye. Some people don't understand it, how someone could be happy alone. I don't understand how you could not--there is so much in the world to see, do, and explore!

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