Social Anxiety at the Gym?!

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  • wintervixen78
    wintervixen78 Posts: 176 Member
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    In the past, I joined a women's only gym, that really helped. Then I decided to try classes, they're great, because everyone is doing the same thing as you, they're all facing the front, they're concentrating on the instructor, and so are you. The sad thing is, I now live in an apartment building with a gym, but I can't go down and use it because I'm a lone parent with a 4 year old. I have a boyfriend, so hopefully I can hint that I want to get in the gym and see if he volounteers to babysit for my workouts, otherwise it's home DVDs and PS3 for me :o)
  • Trovan
    Trovan Posts: 133 Member
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    I wasn't self conscious at the gym, but I am now. Thanks! :-)
  • sbranaghan
    sbranaghan Posts: 29 Member
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    I people watch too and then I wonder, do they notice me looking at them and what they are thinking!!! LOL Then I realize, who cares and i keep watching, it actually might be good and maybe you can learn a few things just by watching people!
    I feel like an idiot too when i cant move the knobs and then people look at you, i kind of laugh at myself and move on.
    your best bet, is to take a friend. when my friend and i go, we make fun of the people who wear workboots or winter boots, or this lady there who doesnt wear a bra ( completly noticable... eeek! ) just have fun while you are there and try to get in a good workout, in the long run, i really dont think that anyone cares what anyone else is doing :)
  • Geminieve24
    Geminieve24 Posts: 364 Member
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    I'm going to be honest here and I hope you don't take this the wrong way. WHO CARES! lol
    You are there to work out, not win a "who has the best body" contest! I go to the gym six days a week and sure, at times when I am working out I will people watch. BUT if this happens too often then that means I am not focused. You gotta stay focused on why you are spending time there. Its for you-your mind, your body, and only you. If you think people are checking you out and thinking things like "oh she gotta a big..." you are there for the wrong reasons. And hey, I see 300 pound people at the gym I go to now busting their butt. When I see that, I think "dang, that's pretty cool, they are focused to losing their weight".
    So take a deep breath, have an agenda when you go, and please realize that it is not a popularity contest. You are there to work out. Get in shape. If you keep focusing on what other people think, sadly it will take a long time to get rid of those pounds. I used to weigh ALOT and when I started working out I went to a gym where all the girls wore skimpy clothes, the guys were just flexing in the mirror and it was a meat market. It didn't bug me. I was there to get a job done and of all things it helped because I wanted to look a certain way. After awhile some of the regulars there started to notice my weight loss. Yea maybe you will have people who are there for the wrong reasons, but please! Don't worry about what others think! :)
    Sorry I hope that wasn't too blunt, I'm just stating something that at times we need to hear. I know for me, I would like the truth. Otherwise I would post asking for suggestions :) Good luck and relax!
  • btrflyflutter
    btrflyflutter Posts: 68 Member
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    Ok....been there and done that and I am BAD about staring at people too. You need a gym buddy! Not your boyfriend cause he obviously is no help. What I did was grabbed a friend and we worked out our schedule to always go together...every time and let me tell you...as crazy and cute as we were....2 months into the people in the gym wanted to know who the funny pretty girls where cause we were so entertaining! Go find a friend that will commit with you....it's much more fun.
  • kathdela
    kathdela Posts: 148 Member
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    Because of this, I usually go after work, around midnight. Generally, though, I try not to think about it. If they're laughing at me calling me the fat girl,so what? They only have a couple months left before they can't say that anymore.

    The ONLY time I've ever gotten anxious at the gym is when a group of 6 guys who I like to call "the bros" would come in and take up the entire weight room and be loud and stuff.
  • sereney
    sereney Posts: 69 Member
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    I ran into the same thing when I first started going to the gym. It took me several weeks to go in there on my own. I would repeat to myself everytime I walked in that everyone else was there for the same reason~ To get healthy, stay healthy. Now I can go to the gym without fear of who is watching me. I have even found people that I did not know went to the gym and have several people to work out with now. Just remind yourself why you are there, and remember that everyone there has their own goal. The fact that you went to the gym is the respectable because so many people will not. I had to do a lot of people watching to figure out the machines as well. Some I still have no clue how they work and would probably hurt myself trying. :) Watching other people use the machines, helped me figure out how to use them.
    Keep going, the anxiety will decrease with time.
  • jo_marnes
    jo_marnes Posts: 1,601 Member
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    I used to be like that too. I had an instructor show me which weights to use and how to adjust them.

    After a while you realise no one is bothered about who or what you are doing. I've been going for 2 yrs now and I'm now at a place where I think "yep, check me out.... I am fit and I am never going to give up"..... at least that's what I was thinking on the treadmill after 10kms the other day :-)
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
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    There are several ways to overcome your problem :-)

    First way is to bring a friend, a workout buddy! You will concentrate on each other, doing things together, walking around together, being focused on one another, and you might forget about all the others. Having a workout buddy also helps to go to the gym at all: you can't just find any excuse to not go (tired tonight, been walking all day, there's this movie I'd like to see, I think I might get a flu, ... whatever), you have to explain it to your buddy, and most excuses are just fake, and not supported by a buddy.

    Another way is to just keep your head down, eyes down. As long as you don't watch others, you don't see if they also watch you. You just lock those people out of your mind. It's like young kids playing hide and seek behind their hands. If' you're hidden behind your hands, nobody can see you. Same here, if you don't watch, others don't see you. Think you're all alone in there.

    Best way is to change your way of thinking! Instead of worrying about how you look and how you feel and if they watch when you're breathless etc, just be proud of yourself! You're there, you're working out, you're doing something to feel and look better. One day you won't be breathless anymore, one day you will be smaller and fitter and better looking etc. It sure takes some time and a lot of hard work, but you're there to do that work, then do it! Many of the people who are at the gym have started the same way... though earlier, as they already are where you want to get. Be proud of what you do and not worrying about what people could think.

    MM
  • forthefab5
    forthefab5 Posts: 187 Member
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    For some reason I'm the opposite! I hate working out alone and I love group fitness type classes (or someone next to me on the same machine) - so I can compare and even (in my head) compete with them - I must be a weirdo right? Lol... Anyway, why don't you try that... instead of saying "I'm so crap, they must be laughing at me", say to yourself... "I'm gonna push that little bit further and they're going to be jealous of ME!" Hope it gets better for you!
  • kidtechnical
    kidtechnical Posts: 146
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    If you want to go back because you want to work out with or at the same time as your partner, then ask the gym if they do induction sessions. Most good gyms do, because they want you to be able to work the equipment without hurting yourself. They'll take you round and show you how everything works. Ask if they can do you a workout programme, again, most gyms do, because they want you to get the best results from their gym then you'll keep going & recommend them to friends. I've felt the same as you when I first joined a gym, but once I gained confidence with the equipment or the workout I soon found I was too busy being challenged to people watch and realised that others were doing the same. However, if it's really too much for you then just stick with your work place as it obviously works for you. x
  • borichfan
    borichfan Posts: 208 Member
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    I have a social anxiety problem too, i'm very shy. This is why i buy my own equipment & workout at home. I have bedrooms full of exercise machines & equipment.
  • hecky86
    hecky86 Posts: 9
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    Where can I find this jack3d stuff,I have the same issue.....Thanks
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    I have the same problem so I joined Curves. Only women there, don't have to worry about adjusting weights. There are women of all ages and sizes that go. The curves ladies are so nice. I was nervous the first few times but no it is no big deal.

    hmmm... I find other women are often the harshest critics...

    The men just get on with their training.
  • limonami
    limonami Posts: 30 Member
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    I have the same problem.
    I went once with my sister at the Gym.
    And I felt so self conscious the whole time I was there.
    Can you say feel the burn
    And I'm not talking about the workout.
    I'm talking about
    People that like to stare, and to me that's just rude.

    I'm not one for gym settings so I try to get in exercises by walking.
    I go to the biggest stores I can find and walk around for an hour or two.
    This I do when It's not so nice out.
    Or when I'm feeling somewhat lazy LOL.

    For people like me that don't like crowds that much.
    Walking on trails is always a plus.
    We have trails galore here where I live.
    A lot of them go into the bush.
    So they can go on for hours.
    It's a nice and easy exercise and you get to enjoy the scenery and get a free dose of Vitamin D.
  • limonami
    limonami Posts: 30 Member
    Options
    I have the same problem.
    I went once with my sister at the Gym.
    And I felt so self conscious the whole time I was there.
    Can you say feel the burn
    And I'm not talking about the workout.
    I'm talking about
    People that like to stare, and to me that's just rude.

    I'm not one for gym settings so I try to get in exercises by walking.
    I go to the biggest stores I can find and walk around for an hour or two.
    This I do when It's not so nice out.
    Or when I'm feeling somewhat lazy LOL.

    For people like me that don't like crowds that much.
    Walking on trails is always a plus.
    We have trails galore here where I live.
    A lot of them go into the bush.
    So they can go on for hours.
    It's a nice and easy exercise and you get to enjoy the scenery and get a free dose of Vitamin D.

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