But, what if I am NOT miserable?

I didn't have a problem with the way I looked or felt when I was heavier. I was confident and happy with myself. I did have a problem with my rising blood sugar, high cholesterol and elevated blood pressure. I got tired of my my knees aching every day. I got tired of my thighs chafing whenever I wore shorts.

Being healthy and feeling great as I approached my 40's were my primary motivators. I lost weight pretty much exclusively for my personal wellness rather than vanity.

Knowing your extra weight might make you sick, lessen the quality of your life or cause you die prematurely can be a pretty big motivator. At least, it was for me!

ETA - OP... I noticed that you're 30 now. Being heavy never caused me any health problems until my late 30's. Suddenly around 38, the consequences of the extra pounds caught up with me. I wish I had lost the weight earlier!

I didn't hate my self to start this journey. I have bad arthritis in my knee, psoriasis and just turned 40! Yikes I put pain and 40 in the same boat. I just know I didn't want to be in the same pain I was/am in because of my knees. That is what motivates me --- to run around with my son -- walk with my students and not fake that I am not in pain when I do these things.


Stephanie

*SOME* people talk about how they were "miserable" being overweight, and that these negative feelings provided them with the strong motivation they needed to get started losing, and to keep losing.

My challenge is, I am NOT miserable at my weight, but I still want to lose weight. But I am not like, "i MUST lose weight". So, since I am half-motivated, I put forth half-effort.

Now, don't get me wrong...I am not saying I wish I WERE MISERABLE...the truth is that I love myself, and have always had great self-esteem and confidence...whether 220 pounds, or 155 pounds, I have no problem dancing, singing, doing nude art modeling, etc etc. I have always known that those who HATE themselves fat, don't magically LOVE themselves thin. Confidence is an inside job.

Maybe my lack of motivation has to do with the fact that I have already lost about HALF my excess weight...slowly over the course of the last couple years...and I have been maintaining it. So I still get compliments when old friends see me now. I carry my weight well, and can shop off the rack in any store, even though I am about a size 14 on bottom.

***MY QUESTION IS: PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEMSELVES, HOW DO U GET MOTIVATED WITHOUT THE SELF-HATRED THAT *SOME* OTHERS USE FOR MOTIVATION?

I really wanna lose the rest and get active...but I think the fact that i am "content", if not "thrilled", with where I am has led to a sort of inertia....

(Edited to add the word *SOME*....because there are people on MFP who always assume u are "making generalizations about everyone", who love to give snarky answers to honest questions, and who snoop your profile for personal info, and then use it to insult you. Yay, forums!)

I think there are a lot of different motivators out there. For me its basically that if you are happy with yourself and your life is going in a good direction and you are willing to let go of all the negative things that got you to the overweight point then loosing the excess weight should be pretty easy.

Yeah, I know I joke that I didn't have time to ever be depressed because I pre medicated with fabulous rich and tasty food. I thought about food the way one thinks of a lover. No matter how crap the day there was always a Super Bowl of pho, fresh wraps and Thai tea to look forward to. I exercised 3 mornings a wk at the Y at 5 am. I had walked 4 half marathons, I can't even count the 5ks I've done. But I wasn't overwt, I was obese. Food was Waaaay too important to me. I was choosing food over my health and my responsibilities to protect my health for the sake of our family. I wasn't miserable and I didn't hate my body, I just didn't love my body. I love my body now and strive to take care of her. I was given this amazing gift of a body and I spent most of my life not taking care of her properly. I quit medicating with food 2 yrs ago. I live a fuller richer life now. I love my body with all her saggy skin and deflated boobs. I was much like you. But my happiness/contentment with being too overwt disappeared when my perfect blood pressure and blood sugar disappeared and I developed sleep apnea and a bad hip. I had to admit I had chosen pleasurable food over indulgence instead of prudent eating for health and I would live with those consequences.

If you were miserable over weight, you'll be miserable no matter what. People direct their 'miserableness' at whatever is closest to them, mostly themselves. If it's not the weight it's something else. Once they're skinny they won't like their feet... or their hair... or their muscles... or their.... etc, etc, etc......

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For me its a combination of health issues and things I like to do that are in some way made less wonderful by fat.

Kayaking? Need a wider boat for my butt, so it's less efficient and slower than other boats.

Aikido? More weight means more momentum when I take a fall, which means a greater risk for injury or exacerbation of old injuries.

Bikiing? The less I weigh the less my butt will hurt on the seat (road bike).

Health? I'm lucky my blood chemistries are within spec (though unlucky my thyroid burnt out), but I'm out of shape and have limited endurance for things like hiking or skiing. I also have old orthopedic injuries that limit how much I can do at my current weight because they become painful with overuse at this weight. Losing weight won't stop old injuries from becoming painful, but should give me longer range before my joints squeal.

Clothing? I can buy 16's off the rack in most stores, though some stores top out at 12, but the clothes don't look as good on me as they would if I were a size 10 (I'm 5'7" so smaller than 8 would be too thin).

Find the things that you can do less well now than you'd like because of weight or fitness issues, and use those as motivators.

I think I know what you mean - feeling half motivated is something I have tripped over in the past. I wouldn't say I have ever felt miserable, but I can tell you that the difference between 220 pounds, which was when I was big but felt fine, and 270 pounds, which is where I started 3 weeks ago, was huge. I am 5 foot 8 and a fairly stocky build but I suddenly noticed, really noticed, the physical side effects - knee pain, foot pain, back pain, generally heaving myself about. So if it is of any help whatsoever, maybe motivate yourself by knowing it will certainly only get worse if you don't at least manage your weight and fitness levels? Personally, I would be happy at 200 pounds, which I know is large by most standards, but would see me once again in a size 14! I hope this is helpful, a sort of Cassandra like motivation, lol. But unless you are maintaining the pounds will creep on in an ever increasing fashion. But I try to focus on the positive benefits and use them as a motivator, I find the negatives to easy to bury with a nice slice of cake...

I've always hated myself, even when I was skinny.

Bless my happy pills.

I am one who grew up always at war with the way I felt about my body. Short, naturally muscular, broad hips when I started to mature and eventually broad shoulders and larger bust. Gotta love that German, Irish, Polish, Italian heritage! I always wished I looked different, was taller, not so curvy, etc. Thought I was fat when I was just at what I now know was the high end of the normal BMI range for me. But I also felt like I had style and dressed well, looked good when I went out, etc. It was kind of like having a brutal boxing match in my brain that always ended up in a draw.Needless to say this trend continued throughout my life, during all of my weight ups & downs & ups & ups & ups. And it was not really helpful either for stemming weight gain or supporting weight loss.

The thing that has changed this time for me and keeps me going and trying even if my success is modest is that the boxing match is gone. I am more at peace with my body now. So no more hatred or wishing I was some other shape than I am. And I don't mean fat acceptance because I know that I need to get rid of most of it to stay healthy and have an interesting, long life. I mean shape acceptance. Those hip bones are not shrinking no matter how skinny I get. And they are kind of an asset now that I have taken up Salsa dancing. The legs aren't getting any longer either. And all of that is ok. In fact, I am really excited to see what all those curves are going to look like without being so covered up.

So maybe some of what you can use for motivation is something like I wrote above. Feel like you look pretty good now? Ok, now how much different and cool might you look when you finish the work?

I will admit, I am motivated by how I feel about myself, but another main reason was my heart. I have a defect that makes it weaker, and being overweight is very dangerous. I don't believe you have o be unhappy with yourself to lose weight. Just find a different reason you want to lose c:

HONEST ANSWER TO HONEST QUESTION: I am the same way you are. I love the way I look and the things I have accomplished in my life with this body. I have great self-esteem. I love my body and care for it in a million ways! However, I have been feeling sluggish and tired, and unable sometimes. I have felt excluded socially and culturally. I observe myself using food to soothe my anxiety and boredom. My on-your-feet job has made it difficult for me to be competitive at times. I am concerned about diabetes and heart disease.

My motivation comes from that: my self-love and self-esteem says to myself, "I love you, babe. Let's try this. Let's try to address these concerns in a healthy and sustainable way. In a way that honour this beautiful person that I am now and want to be in the future, inside and out." It goes way beyond "weight loss" to a way of living that addresses my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social sides. That's kind of how it works for me…

Hope that helps, I'll friend you. If you accept, we can go along together for the journey… Good luck!

i seem to be the opposite of everyone, i didn't care that much for myself while i was 250, and don't really care for myself at 150. we all have our demons, some are just ornerier that others i guess.

hey chica!!! Well... in order for people to change they kind of need their own "crisis" I read your post with a bit of confusion because you are saying you don't feel miserable and you do want to lose weight. You are asking how you get motivated because you don't hate yourself...yes?
See this is the thing that many many people have got upside down and it keeps people stuck. Accepting and loving yourself has nothing to do with what you look like physically... so in that respect, you are ahead of the game. For example, when an overweight friend tells me she has decided to accept herself and is not going to try to lose weight .. now that is living in confusion... because again...accepting yourself has nothing to do with your weight... but confusing accepting yourself with accepting things that are not who you are authentically is well a lie...
Clear as mud? See, if you had a friend who was a heroin addict and she announced she loved herself and did not see a need to change you would see the problems with that right? Because loving yourself and killing yourself... they are not congruent. So for her to identify herself as being a heroin addict because it is difficult to get out of that lifestyle and she is not willing to try anymore or even enjoys it... well it isn't true now is it? she was not destined to be a heroine addict. That is not her true identity... her true identity is something else and her being a heroin addict is a complication... something separate from her true self that actually keeps her from experiencing life to the fullest. If she were your friend you would still love her though... heroin and all.
Being overweight... you might say, is not the same as being a drug addict... I have different thoughts on that....
lets lay it out on the table... eating more than your body needs...kind of socially acceptable... well more so than doing drugs.. everyone knows a fat old lady in the church bless her heart right? Or has a "heavy set" friend... yes ... so lovable and safe... and yet... these people ... we people... are using food in a way it was never intended to be used... to celebrate... to heal sadness... to break boredom... to be a friend when there is no one to talk to... to feel good ... to socialize.... etc. So never mind if you think it gets in the way or doesn't get in the way of your life... the facts.. weighing more than you should kills more people every year than anything else really... it raises insurance premiums for everyone... we won't even get into what happens when you begin to age and the stress of carrying around a chair everyday... but that of course is down the line.

so to end this ramble ramble... perhaps it may be time and I am only suggesting this because you did in fact ask so I am thinking you do want to be motivated ... maybe it is time to reassess your philosophy regarding life... what you want... BUT the best place to be when you are approaching fitness is to be in a place where you love yourself enough to want the best for you... that is precious... if you truly love your true identity... then the motivation ... hmmm... it has to be one of love for yourself... to want better ... like if you were a stray dog you adopted who needed a tumor removed... he may feel fine but you know the tumor will kill him and so you have it removed even though he is not aware of even being in danger or able to understand how much better he will feel when it is gone...
hope something I said made sense because I am in a rambling mood and just trying to help as I struggle with my own feelings of insecurity regarding my opinions... but ... there it is ... wish you the best

I think most people don't hate themselves for being fat or overweight or even a bit chubby..

From my experience, I'm disappointed in myself for not taking care of my body which is the most important thing ever. Nothing can replace it. It isn't hard at all to be fit and healthy but I'm not putting in effort to do so because I'm too lazy to do so or I'm not determined enough to do so. I can't even do something simple as that, how am I able to accomplish anything else.