My Mom is Unhealthy?

You can't change other people. She has to be ready to make a change for herself. Let her know that you are there to help her if she chooses to make some changes, and leave it at that.

Maybe try slower, smaller steps? Try to get her to drink her sugary drinks mixed with carbonated water (this is how I drink juice and lemonades when I actually do drink them), to cut the sugar and calories in a serving. Definitely don't return them - she'll be angry and that's never a good way to motivate anyone, and I assume, also, it's her money and not yours. Slowly increase the lengths of your walks and try to slowly get her to reduce her consumption of sugary drinks - they won't kill her in moderation and they aren't "bad" for you in moderation, unless diabetes is a legitimate concern.

I assume you live together - do you cook? If you do, cook for the both of you and cook healthy, nutritious meals for both of you to eat. It's much easier to start healthier habits if they're right there in front of you.

You can't change other people. She has to be ready to make a change for herself. Let her know that you are there to help her if she chooses to make some changes, and leave it at that.

This.

Also, I understand that you care about your mom OP...but for you to be in tears over a sugary drink, that is not a normal reaction. I don't say that to be mean but really it's not okay for you to get yourself that upset over your mom making unhealthy food and beverage choices. She will do what she wants as she's an adult.

That said, I do think it's good to let her know you will support her if she does make some changes for the better. I wish you (and your mom) the best!

In my own experience I'll tell ya, mothers are HARD. Yes you care, but she's still your mother. Push too hard and she'll fall back on that. Keep going on the walks with her, and when you do go shopping with her pick one thing and be like "maybe try this instead?". Rome wasn't built in a day and some people need time. Be patient and realize it's not going to happen overnight.

Can I explain something to you? Being a mother myself, I can not focus on my weight with so many other things that are bogging me down. My kids do nothing for me in the house unless I complain and complain and complain and nag and nag and nag. So, after all that, I do it myself because I'm tired of hearing myself complain and nag. Therefore, by the time I get all my job done, come home, feed the lazy tribe, and clean up the dishes, I'm tired. One day, my son did the dishes for me for a whole of 3 days. He said, "Ya know mom? This is a thankless job and no one really notices. It is so boring, I don't know how you do it." I told him he had better find a good wife who will do it for him then. Or he will be a lonely man living with his mother forever. LOL

So, enough about my dribble. Not sure where your mom is at but I'm sure she is as busy with worry with her mother and life in general. The best thing you can do is to help her with the dishes, laundry or what ever is bogging her down and say. " Mom, I made time for you by doing these things so we can work out." Two things will happen. She will feel releived and she will feel guilty enough to walk with you. One step at a time. Little by little help her with her new life change of being healthy. Show her a print out of what she has eaten with a print out of MFP logs. Let her be mind blown with the results and help her by opening her eyes to the truth on paper. Try not to nag. Mom's need a break and a clean organized house helps to organize a mind to be able to think outside the box and try something new.

You sound like a sweet, caring daughter, don't give up, Mom's didn't get unhealthy over night. You may not realize what is worrying her. Trust me, I don't tell my kids the true worries that I have. Its taken me almost a year to loose my weight. My kids do walk with me and it does help motivate me. A second person is good to keep me company where I don't even notice I am getting healthier.

it's okay to tell mom once how you feel. Just once, though, because more than that and you are trying to change her. You can never change another person.

Also, and I mean no offense by this, but try to appreciate the small change she has made. She is walking more. It might not seem like a big thing to you, but to her it might be a really big deal.

Finally, just take care of you. It is not your job to take care of your mother or anyone else.

Can I explain something to you? Being a mother myself, I can not focus on my weight with so many other things that are bogging me down. My kids do nothing for me in the house unless I complain and complain and complain and nag and nag and nag. So, after all that, I do it myself because I'm tired of hearing myself complain and nag. Therefore, by the time I get all my job done, come home, feed the lazy tribe, and clean up the dishes, I'm tired. One day, my son did the dishes for me for a whole of 3 days. He said, "Ya know mom? This is a thankless job and no one really notices. It is so boring, I don't know how you do it." I told him he had better find a good wife who will do it for him then. Or he will be a lonely man living with his mother forever. LOL

So, enough about my dribble. Not sure where your mom is at but I'm sure she is as busy with worry with her mother and life in general. The best thing you can do is to help her with the dishes, laundry or what ever is bogging her down and say. " Mom, I made time for you by doing these things so we can work out." Two things will happen. She will feel releived and she will feel guilty enough to walk with you. One step at a time. Little by little help her with her new life change of being healthy. Show her a print out of what she has eaten with a print out of MFP logs. Let her be mind blown with the results and help her by opening her eyes to the truth on paper. Try not to nag. Mom's need a break and a clean organized house helps to organize a mind to be able to think outside the box and try something new.

You sound like a sweet, caring daughter, don't give up, Mom's didn't get unhealthy over night. You may not realize what is worrying her. Trust me, I don't tell my kids the true worries that I have. Its taken me almost a year to loose my weight. My kids do walk with me and it does help motivate me. A second person is good to keep me company where I don't even notice I am getting healthier.

I think this really depends on the family situation. My Mom likes to do household chores because they keep her active. Sometimes I'll offer to do things like load/unload the dishwasher and she'll say no, because she likes to do it to keep her moving. I'm responsible for cleaning up my room and the bathroom that I primarily use, and that keeps me moving too.

Find a way that works for your family and your situation.

Exercise is healthier even if she doesn't lose weight. She knows soda and sugar are not "healthy." She's still got every right to choose what she eats and puts in her body. Just be supportive, but don't police her. You don't get to return food she bought because you don't like it, that is condesending as hell. Besides, it's your mom's body, not the family body. She's allowed to look after her health in whatever steps she chooses to take. Exercise has benefits regardless of whether it's for weight loss or not. If she ever needs your help or advice specifically for weight loss or diet etc, she can let you know. She's not oblivious to the state of her body in this society, I can guarantee you that she's well aware and doesn't need to be nagged about it at home, even if it is from "concern." So maybe your mom is unhealthy, but it's not your mission in life to force her to be healthy. If she isn't ready to make a serious lifestyle change, it won't stick anyways. Just worry about you and be supportive if she brings it up.

Start off with then nightly walks. She is open to that so keep going and as she feels better, maybe you can encourage her to make a couple of other changes. Don't overwhelm her right away.

Unless she's diabetic, there's nothing wrong with sugary drinks, as long as she stays within a calorie deficit.

As for taking them back: How would you feel if someone came to your house and decided to take your groceries back to the store because they didn't like them? Your mother is a grown woman, you have no right to treat her otherwise.

Even if she does want to change, you can't control her, you can't expect her to do everything YOU define as healthy, and you can't expect her to be perfect overnight. Focus on small changes that she IS willing to make and go from there.

Cut the woman some slack. She's right, she buys the groceries and she's entitled to buy whatever she wants.


ETA: I am not unfeeling towards your situation. I learned all of the above the hard way. I know it's hard to watch your loved ones make bad choices, but you can't control what they do.

My mom's diabetic. She's overweight, she doesn't check her sugars or watch her carbs, and it frightens me. Her mom had fourteen heart attacks and pacemaker. HER mother had cardiac problems all her life. It's a problem in my family.

But there's no changing a person or forcing them to do or be something different. I decided it was really important that I get in shape now and pay close attention to my cardiac health, started dropping weight and getting fit, and I've been so much happier and more vibrant and more prepared to deal with everything that she's asked to start coming to zumba with me. We make meals together and her habits are starting to change with mine. She's dropped like ten pounds, and I think we're both doing a lot better.

If you're working on yourself and happy and positive about your results, your loved ones are gonna want to get on bored. Forcing doesn't help. Success does.

I'd say educate her. Don't force her to use the knowledge, just give it to her. Personally when I found out all about calories and crappy food I simply couldn't eat bad anymore because suddenly I knew what I was doing to my body. Unfortunately I haven't been influenced for life but now I make better choices and I eat crap sometimes, not all the time :P Maybe she simply doesn't now there are THAT many calories in what she eats compared to how many she should be eating. I didn't know that.

My grandmother (my mom's mom) is in the hospital right now. She's sick and I told my mom that I hope it motivates her to lose weight and to take care of herself better. Yesterday, she told me I was right and we were going to take nightly walk (a little over a mile every day) around the park. We went for a walk yesterday and she felt great. I didn't go to the supermarket with her this time (I didn't even know she left) and she brought home sugary drinks (20 grams for a bottle...holy ****). How do I motivate her more?? Should I go return the drinks? I'm so frustrated and scared for her health. I'm in tears because every time she buys this **** she tells me "When you pay for the food, that's when you can buy what you want." Meanwhile, just yesterday she wanted to lose weight. How do I approach this situation???

She's an adult, leave her alone

If she asks for reading material or has questions for you, send her to the Sexy Pants post:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

This, Annoys the hell out of me to see people trying to be the arbiter of everyone's choices. It's totally her decision whether to be unhealthy or not. I think anyone would safely assume she is well aware of the risks.

I think your heart is in the right place, but if your mother's mother is in the hospital right now, it's probably not the best time for her to be making significant lifestyle changes.

I think this is a very good point.

Also, OP I don't mean any disrespect in saying this - it does sound like you know what you're doing and have a good healthy lifestyle started - but maybe advice is just not as effective coming from you. Your mom probably sees as her teenage daughter with no worries or responsibilities in the world. I am NOT saying you don't have both! But to her, that is a likely view on your "advice" and it's possible that she justifies her treats and sugary drinks with the mindset of "I'm the adult, I am a mom and daughter to a sick aging parent with the weight of the world on my shoulders - I deserve this!". Sad, but true.