But, what if I am NOT miserable?

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Replies

  • nikkihk
    nikkihk Posts: 487 Member
    There is no reason to EVER hate your body. It does what it does because it believes it's protecting you or it's trying to process how you feed/condition it. If you think about it, years ago having weight on your body meant you were well fed and healthy. Now I don't mean excessive... but a size 14 or 16 girl who is 5'7 shouldn't be self loathing because she's not a size 2.

    I'd say as long as your insides aren't straining to maintain your structure, your weight is irrelevant as long as you're happy. Motivation to do anything to change your current situation should come a drive to be healthy if you already are? Then what's the point?
  • mallorytravels
    mallorytravels Posts: 86 Member
    I wish you didn't get as many semi-snarky responses as you seem to have gotten...

    I think I understand what you are saying. I was 20 pounds heavier than where I wanted to be, yet being super depressed and unhappy with my life led me to not care very much about my appearance. So, if I tried to start losing weight, I always failed because I just didn't care enough.

    Once I started working on my depression, I began to feel very strongly that I didn't want to be overweight anymore. I was no longer comfortable enough hiding behind big clothes and never going out.

    Not saying you're depressed or anything, obviously. Trying to say that maybe you need to find the catalyst like I did. Would pursuing grad school, or a new career, or moving to a new city, or making new friends, adopting a dog, whatever, be a catalyst for no longer being more or less accepting of being overweight?

    Just a thought. Good Luck :-) Feel free to add me if you want friends on here.
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    My best friend is quite a bit heavier than me, but she is like you. Happy. She's never hated her body and is a confident girl.
    Her motivation is health. She loves herself enough to want to be her healthiest. :)
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I wish you didn't get as many semi-snarky responses as you seem to have gotten...

    Perhaps I should just ignore this, but I'm baffled as I feel like we're reading two completely different threads. The one I see is full of supportive and thoughtful responses. Perhaps it's not the words on the page but your interpretation and own internal voice?
  • foofyq
    foofyq Posts: 42 Member
    Can't you just enjoy being active and eating delicious healthy foods? That's enough for me. Its fun! Way more fun than sitting around watching tv and being bored.
  • nikkihk
    nikkihk Posts: 487 Member
    I wish you didn't get as many semi-snarky responses as you seem to have gotten...

    Perhaps I should just ignore this, but I'm baffled as I feel like we're reading two completely different threads. The one I see is full of supportive and thoughtful responses. Perhaps it's not the words on the page but your interpretation and own internal voice?

    You forget, if every response isn't spilling over with rainbows and unicorns.. it's snarky. Damn snarky I tell you. :huh:
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    I wish you didn't get as many semi-snarky responses as you seem to have gotten...

    Perhaps I should just ignore this, but I'm baffled as I feel like we're reading two completely different threads. The one I see is full of supportive and thoughtful responses. Perhaps it's not the words on the page but your interpretation and own internal voice?

    You forget, if every response isn't spilling over with rainbows and unicorns.. it's snarky. Damn snarky I tell you. :huh:

    *insert rainbow and unicorn gif here*
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    haven't read the thread so sorry if I'm repeating what's already been said...

    I think coming at this from a position of liking yourself and accepting who you are as a person actually makes it easier, not more difficult. Too many people battle this from a position of self loathing that sets them up for being unable to deal with small setbacks, because they beat themselves up over them and go right back into "I'm fat and disgusting" ways of thinking - they don't believe that they deserve to be lean and healthy so they're constantly battling against all that negativity towards themselves.

    You're doing this because you know you deserve to be fit and healthy. You know that people who love you want you to be healthy too. So you know you deserve better - that's motivation.

    You don't need to go at this with an all or nothing mentality - it doesn't have to be a huge effort and struggle that requires a ton of motivation... it's just a question of teaching yourself new, healthy habits, like sticking to a certain quantity of food each day and getting into a regular routine that involves exercise and being more active generally. Look for ways to do this that will be easy for you to stick to long term. Have a calorie goal for slow and steady fat loss, don't try to lose it all at once. This gives you more leeway to enjoy all the foods you want to enjoy, albeit less often and in smaller quantities. Once you've eaten all the nutrition your body needs, the remaining calories can come from whatever you fancy. Focus on building good habits, you don't need quite so much motivation to stick to it, because the habits become easier over time.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I can relate to this somewhat. I was not unhappy at 260-270. I once got up to 307 and I WAS unhappy, I didn't feel comfortable inside my body, and I was having some little discomforts and issues that made me start to worry. But being totally honest, once I got back down to my "usual" 260-270 range I felt fabulous, loads of energy, liked the way I looked in clothes most of the time, etc.

    What motivated me to get down further, now to 177 lb, was just sheer competitiveness and feeling it wasn't "fair" that some of my friends would start working out, walking, and lose weight...or my husband's good friend gave up meat and lost 60 lb. I gave up meat and lost 7 lb. I was ticked off. I was making healthier decisions, cooking at home instead of dining out (more often...I still dine out!) and I wasn't seeing the loss I expected. That's what motivated me.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    I am pretty sure it's the same for a lot of couch potatoes. They think it's cos they are fat because society tells us we gotta be "at a healthy weight" But what we really hate is being weak.

    Yes. True for me also.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,284 Member
    I can sort of relate to this OP.

    I didn't have a lot of weight to lose so I don't think I look much different ( especially clothed) than I did before, I didn't really have any problems being 10 kg out of healthy weight range, just as easy to find size 10 clothes as size 14.

    Have not found it hard to stay motivated though - have in fact maintained at goal weight for about 9 months now.
    I guess everyone's motivation factors are different.
  • starlite19
    starlite19 Posts: 37 Member
    I think to be honest size 14 is a good size and if you feel happy and comfortable, you should just maintain being a healthy person. That was about the same size I was when I was at my most healthy and happy, like my pic here is my goal. I would love to get back there and I do have a bit of the self hatred to work with now much larger than 14, mostly because I enjoy being healthy and know I am not right now. Also I wouldn't conform to what other people/media says is a good size. I'm sure you already seem like a person that knows that. If you still want to lose more and have motivation, i would write down your reasons you want to lose more weight, and try to find something fun with each one. For example; you want to lose more so you can run or swim a certain distance...then challenge yourself. Or so that you can dance all night at a club again (I would love that) then reward yourself. If you can't think of any reasons you want to lose more weight, than enjoy life you deserve it. Good luck!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Some of us already liked ourselves fine as we are/were, but we just like the challenge of going for something even better. I mean, I was alright before, but I want to be the best version of me that I can be. I only have one life and I don't want to sit around stagnating in the mediocre version. I'd like to see just how awesome I can become. Setting and achieving fitness goals is very satisfying to me personally. If it's not a big deal for you, then as long as you're healthy, why not just chill in maintenance as you are? That's perfectly fine, too. :flowerforyou:
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
    "I love myself" - Perhaps it's cultural but I can't imagine anyone being comfortable in actually saying that.

    Lots of interesting contributions, thanks for the good read.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    I personally believe self-love is an easier motivator. When I disliked parts of myself, I avoided activity that would improve on that. Caring about who I am today and who I will become leads me to do things to assure that. Don't confuse self-love with complacency.

    I like who I am, I still want more. In any case, it's still possible to project towards reasonable goals and what those achievements will deliver. Those that dislike themselves and are depressed about it have a hard time breaking inertia. If you feel good about yourself, go forth and do more awesome stuff.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
    Good for you! No need to be miserable! There is no need to hate yourself or your weight. There is no reason to feel insecure in how you look. Being overweight does NOT mean you have "issues." (Personal pet peeve) Find your own reason. Maybe you want to lose weight for better health. Maybe you want to lose weight to be an example to someone. Maybe you want to lose weight just to prove you CAN!

    Also, there is no objective magic number on the scale (or on the label of your jeans) that determines whether or not you have reached your goal weight. Maybe you have accomplished your reasons for wanting to lose weight and you feel good about yourself and your health… it's perfectly okay to decide you are now in maintenance mode.

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