How do I gain motivation and stay on track?

I have struggled with ups and downs for a while. I have not logged in and documented regularly in over a year. I know if I do it that it works. I have just been struggling with eating under calories and sticking to it.I usually start out good, but half way through the day I find myself talking myself out of caring. I work out almost 5 days a week. I get so frustrated with myself because I have about 40-50 pounds to lose and I don't seem to be getting anywhere.I am getting ready to start college again. That is where I gained my 20 pounds back. I ate out of stress and did not pay attention to what I was putting into my body. I also ate out a lot because of convenience. Do you all have any low calorie quick ideas for meals? Also would like any new friends that eat somewhere between BMR and TDEE. I like looking at diaries of people that are eating near the same calories as me in order to get ideas on different things I could be eating. Thank you all for your help