I have no will power - Suggestions?

i should also say, i do the 'if it fits your macros' - meaning i can eat anything as long as i stay in my calorie target. log every bite you put in your mouth and i guarantee, if you stick to not exceeding your target calorie intake, you will modify the way you eat. as much as i love the chocolate drawer in my office, a few pieces of candy ends up being a LOT of calories. I've done it before, and come 8 PM, I'm hating myself for 'wasting' calories because had I saved them, I could have had a BIG salad with dinner and be satiated. it's a mind game for me, but i'm determined to win it.

So it could very well be that you just don't care enough. That's certainly possible.

But it could also be that your overall plan, and your environment, are too challenging for your resources. And if that's the case, it's possible that the issue is not whether or not you want it, but whether or not you know how to get it.

^^^This.

The first year after my kids were born, I couldn't do it.

I was breastfeeding, pumping and working full time. That was my whole life. I didn't have breaks or a lunch hour or sleep at night. I was starving all the time and getting fatter.

Fast forward to my kids' first birthdays. I could stop pumping. They were drinking whole milk and sleeping through the night.

Suddenly everything unwound and it was just a matter of carving out a regular routine and finding out the right amount for me to eat.

I did what I could do when I was able to do it. Giving myself the grace to not beat myself up over the impossible was a huge step in being able to move forward.

While I agree with the others commenting that you aren't necessarily ready to make a lifestyle change, there are things you can do to help get started. The two things I'm the worst at are portion sizes and mindlessly eating.

1. Take your large plates/bowls and pack them away. Seriously wrap them up, put them in a box and stick it in the basement. Eat all of your meals off of small plates and you'll notice a difference.

2. Stop buying junk food. I did it slowly at first - I quit buying potato chips cold turkey. Then I stopped buying frozen pizza. Then I completely stopped buying frozen food & soda. Now when I go to the grocery store I buy raw foods, fruit, vegetables and try my best to only buy minimally processed foods. It's a lot better to snack on carrots and strawberries than to eat a half a bag of chips (because I'm bored).

3. If it's in front of me, I'm probably going to eat it. To combat this, I had to add some structure in to my meals. It helps immensely that I diligently track my food on MFP. If I understand that eating an extra _______ is going to put me over or close to my daily limit, I'll either opt for a healthier snack or just say no. You can only really do that when you're updated on your days intake. I used to only eat after doing SOMETHING (like do 20 pushups before a meal for instance).

I totally get what you just said. Been there, done that!!

you're at a crossroads. you know where you want to go, you see the path, but sometimes taking those first real steps toward it are the hardest.

while i don't necessarily agree with the people saying "you don't want it enough" (because i've WANTED this for more years than i can remember, but have only recently found clues as to why hard work hasn't paid off), at some point there will be a defining moment, where everything just clicks into place and you can move forward.

long-term goals are daunting. any task we undertake will overwhelm us if we don't break it up into smaller, accomplishable pieces. want to clean out a house that a hoarder has lived in for the last 40 years? you don't try to clean everything at once. you start in one spot, one room, and focus on what's directly in front of you. don't look back, don't look up, just focus on the space immediately in front of you.

so break this journey up into smaller bits. when i started, i didn't focus on how i was going to lose 100 pounds, i focused on making sure i stayed on plan THAT DAY. all i had to do was focus on what i was going to be eating just over the next 12-16 hours. if i screwed up, i accepted it, owned it, and took responsibility by making sure that when i woke up the next morning, my goal was to stay on track THAT DAY. each day that goal is accomplished makes the next day's goal a little bit easier.

and then one day, you'll look up and realize that several months have gone by and several pounds have gone off. and you'll realize that you really can do this.

Are you sure it isn't just a case of being overwhelmed because there are so many new things to learn and change?

The cliché goes "Rome wasn't built in a day" and it is very true for lifestyle changes, too. So you focus on what you can do today only, pick something easy enough like drinking enough water or logging one meal a day, then work on it until you feel confident it has become a habit; as natural to you as breathing.

That is why it is called a lifestyle change and personally I'm in the camp that believes in learning as I go, paying attention to everything so I don't have to log until I die (because *that* thought gives me the freakout kind of reaction). Luckily we have brains that can remember just about endless amounts and I intend to trust my memory by learning in a mindful way.

Once you have one healthy habit created, you pick the next one. Start small and like I already said, focus on today. This also means if you have one bad day, not everything will be ruined like some drama-queen types are posting here from time to time. Chill and regain control.

You didn't become who you are today over night, so patience is needed when you reverse the "damage"; it can't come off overnight either.

Read up on things, ask narrow questions and provide enough details in opening posts or people will inevitably misinterpret something. Use the search function to avoid stupid questions and/or questions that have been asked a million times before (yes, it is stupid to expect busy people to serve stuff on a silver plate).

And as has been said earlier in the thread, be clear why you want this lifestyle change, what the pros and cons are. I'm quite sure the list of pros will be many more than the cons, but you need to convince yourself.

Learn to block out possible crappy "support" from people around you. Stay focussed and do your thing. And seriously, take just one day at a time, it is all that you have anyway.

So it could very well be that you just don't care enough. That's certainly possible.

But it could also be that your overall plan, and your environment, are too challenging for your resources. And if that's the case, it's possible that the issue is not whether or not you want it, but whether or not you know how to get it.

^Absolutely this.

I have no willpower. I have a plan, and I've been able to implement it.

BUT it took me 8 years after my daughter was born and I piled on the pounds before I was able to implement it, because I did not have the emotional or time resources to actually dedicate myself to success.

Maybe just lurk around here for a bit, learn as much as you can about nutrition and fitness and make small changes until you are ready and your life is ready for you to do it.

So it could very well be that you just don't care enough. That's certainly possible.

But it could also be that your overall plan, and your environment, are too challenging for your resources. And if that's the case, it's possible that the issue is not whether or not you want it, but whether or not you know how to get it.

^Absolutely this.

I have no willpower. I have a plan, and I've been able to implement it.

BUT it took me 8 years after my daughter was born and I piled on the pounds before I was able to implement it, because I did not have the emotional or time resources to actually dedicate myself to success.

Maybe just lurk around here for a bit, learn as much as you can about nutrition and fitness and make small changes until you are ready and your life is ready for you to do it.

I already wrote quite a few points, but this makes me want to add a bit to it. Yes, one needs commitment, but it doesn't have to be a Huge Thing to start a lifestyle change. Every effort counts no matter how small it is; thirst rather than hunger?
Slightly smaller portions.
Use the stairs rather than take the elevator.
Get enough sleep.
If you drink a tonne of soda daily, challenge yourself to decrease the amount by half or so.
Go for an evening walk for ten minutes, from which it is easy to start increasing it, if you haven't found some exercise you look forward to doing just yet.
Identify possible emotional eating and start working on slowly connecting dealing with stress to exercising rather than eating.
Ponder what is very important to you and what you might drop from your nutrition; work the non-negotiables into an approach of golden midway; extremes will never work.
And so on.

All the small but healthy decisions are valuable even when you might not feel like a force of nature yet.

Make sure you don't let yourself get too hungry (snack on healthy stuff all day) AND don't get too thirsty (sometimes your body thinks you're hungry when you're really just thirsty). I like time-trackable water bottles. You can make your own with a sharpie or buy an existing one . I like this one http://hydr-8.com/ because it's insulated and marked with short term time goals. It has really helped me.

If you get really hungry, you'll go for the fattening foods. You are able to have more "will-power" if you don't really feel that hungry in the first place, so snack on fresh veggies a lot.

When I started out I really struggled with cravings. Hell, I still do, but definitely not as much as before.

The first thing I did was stop buying junk food. I knew at first that I couldn't even have it in the house if I wanted to be successful. If you live with others and you can't get rid of the junk food in the house all together, stock your fridge and pantry up with healthy snacks so that you always have an option if you get a craving.

Have some sorbet or frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. Have some pretzels or carrot sticks instead of Cheeto's. Have a glass of water instead of a ginger ale. All of these little things add up in a big way. You don't need to be hungry all of the time, you just need to make a bunch of little choices that will add up to something really big.

The second thing I did was got moving. I feel like I'm less likely to binge on junk food if I worked really hard that day at the gym, or went for a great run, or worked on strength training. If I just busted my hump on the Elliptical Trainer for 45 minutes the last thing I want to do is undo all of that hard work.

Good luck. You can do it. Get motivated, get moving and get rid of all of the temptations.

Just one day I had enough. You can read my story. I was depressed for 10 years and then I hit exercise and diet to the extreme. Eventually the body does get it used to abuse. But to make it anywhere it requires a strong mental mind. You won't make any gains until you want the change deep from with-in. Even on my days if I think I'm getting tired, I ask myself, "Do you give up yet?" No I'm going to fight harder than I ever have, I want my life back and nothing will stop that.

Since you pride yourself on your reading skills, I will type one more time for you...if you disagree that is your opinion. You can quote that too...

people on this website quote a lot. it's not meant to be an insult or throwing your words in your face. it's the norm only meant to clarify who people are replying to because these threads can get fast moving and hard to follow.:flowerforyou: