I'm lost

Pinkranger626 · July 2014

So this is mostly just a vent since the people IRL don't seem to grasp just how upset I really am. On the 4th of July I injured my hip. I got it from sitting down on concrete waiting for a fireworks show.... not from falling, not from running too many miles etc.... I was SITTING DOWN. Anyway, the logical and rational side of me knows that this could have been something that had been brewing and the concrete was what pushed it over the edge, but it's still hard to wrap my head around.

Went to the walk in clinic since I was in Florida on my honeymoon and couldn't go to my regular doctor. He said it was hip bursitis and gave me prednisone for 6 days. These helped and in a week I was walking around without a limp and no pain. I started back with working out. I was going to wait a while to start running again and was sticking to low impact exercsies like swimming and biking. A few days later I tweaked it... don't really know what I did that made it angry. So I was back to limping and in pain, although the pain wasn't as intense as it had been. So I called the orthopedic doctor and made an appointment.

Went in this past Monday (a week ago today) and they said it's not bursistis... its tendonopathy. Great... No running, no high impact, no weight lifting for three weeks, then check back in and see where you are. I felt better since now I knew what it was and the doctor was optimistic that it would heal up in three to four weeks and I'd be back to running in no time.

Emotionally and mentally I've been having e very hard time with this injury.... I had been feeling good again and then last wednesday I tweaked it again! By bending over. So all my workouts have gone out the window all together. I decided maybe a week of absolutely no workouts would help. I'm finding myself feeling totally lost. My identity is gone. For reference, I am a health fitness specialist, group exercise instructor, and a massage therapist. My classes I've had to teach without doing it with them which is insanely difficult, I have had to drop out of two races that I was registered to run and take the hit financially of just losing the money, My job itself has been frustrating since I'm still having to develop fitness programs and health promotion information even though I can't do any of it. I'm unsure if I'm able to massage more than swedish relaxation massage since I need my whole body for it.

My hobbies: running, yoga, etc are all not something that I can do right now. I just feel like there's nothing to me now that I can't be involved in fitness and it's really upsetting. I've been trying to be proactive and have registered for some courses about writing and such but there's a lot of the time that I just want to curl up in my bed and hide. It's weird to not have to get up early on the weekend and hustle to get to the gym to fit in a workout before the weekends plans. I just go home after work instead of going to the gym. And not being able to workout is depriving me of my endorphin rush which just makes me feel even worse.

If you made it all the way through this rant, thank you. I guess I'm just hoping someone has gone through this and I guess I just need to know that it will all be ok. My fear is that it won't heal and I won't be able to do the things that I love to do ever again, and I'll have to try and find a new career just as this one was starting to take shape.

TeelHarris · July 2014

Wow...how awful for you...I'm so sorry.
Did your doctor send you to physical therapy? Is there anything you can do for your tendonopathy besides just wait? Ice, nsaids, more prednisone?
Just remember, exercise and fitness is only part of who you are, not your whole being. Maybe get out and volunteer-helping other people can make you feel better. Try to take your mind off of it(easier said than done, I know).
I had to have knee surgery and was non-weight bearing for 5 weeks. FIVE. Wheelchairs, walkers, and crutches-oh my! I was an active jogger and enjoyed hiit training. That was in February and I'm just now getting back to where I was. Sometimes, you just have to wait rather than risking severe injury. Don't worry about what MIGHT happen and focus on recovery.
Good luck!

letsdothiskaren · July 2014

I know exactly how you feel, I went through almost the same scenario as you. Although I was not nearly as healthy and fit as you.

In 2012, I was in full swing on my weight loss journey. I used MFP and a Polar FT4 HRM and lost 40 lbs! I decided I wanted to lift weights to get some muscle tone and be stronger. I started New Rules of Lifting for Women.

It went ok...it was early in the program when I tore the labrum in my hip while squatting 90lbs. Turns out I have dysplastic hips and have always been at risk for this type of injury. Of all of the workouts I could've done to avoid this, I chose the one thing people like me should never, ever do: squats.

I put off getting it checked out until a year later - I had laporscopic surgery to repair the tear, but was (am) in more pain that I was prior to surgery. The doctor just said, "there was more damage than we thought".

Being inactive killed me post-op. The workout I love doing more than anyother - Zumba - was no longer an option because 1. It hurt too much 2. I didn't have the stamina (which, tbh, was just embarassing). I became depressed and since October of 2013, have gained back 25lbs that I once lost. I was so depressed, I started a new MFP account (this one) because I was too embarrassed of my old tracker after all the progress I'd made.

I'm still strugging to find my groove again. I can no longer squat, lunge, run and technically do Zumba. I am encouraged to do yoga, swim, elliptical, bike and walk. It sounds like I can do a lot - and I can - but as everyone knows finding an enjoyable workout that will actually BE DONE is hard, and I loved the things the best that I can no longer do.

I've been doing Zumba at home, which is great, because I honestly believe the hip pain I'm feeling is exacerbated by being 50lbs overweight. So I KNOW if I watched my diet more and worked out like I did before, the hip pain would get better.

Of course if it were that easy, none of us would be here. I struggle with it everyday; the depression. When I do get a good workout in, I love how I feel. But that's usually before that pain, and I hate that I have to take medicine everyday for the pain.

Long story short: I know EXACTLY what you're going through and sincerely am hoping you recover well enough to get back your mojo and are able to get back to a level of exercise that makes you happy.

kwatson28 · July 2014

A long time ago, I felt something pop in my hip playing tennis. I kind of put it off as no big deal and that I just hadn't stretched well. I was dead wrong. Over time, it has hurt me pretty badly. It was more isolated cases of pain, but when it came, it was almost debilitating. I've been doing Pilates and it's spiking again. So Aug 5, I'm going to my orthopedic doctor to figure out what it might be. I'm honestly afraid I tore the labrum.

But, that being said, I know it sucks to be rendered inactive. It's getting to the point where my activity is hurting it. I've been exercising more and eating better for the past month. I haven't lost a single pound. I'm trying to lose the weight to see if my hip will stop bothering me.

Don't give up. Take it slow. And don't stop!

Pinkranger626 · July 2014

Thank you all for the kind words. I know that fitness isn't the only thing about me, but I have entrenched myself in it in so many aspects of my life that it's hard to remember that. I'm really hoping that it will be as easy as the doctor made it sound and that in two or three more weeks I'll be able to slowly get back into things. I'm really missing running the most.

I'm lost

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