25, lives in Philly, trying to lose 50lbs!

Hi everyone,

I have never been a calorie counter, and instead have focused on food quality and eating a plant-strong diet. However, too much overeating and stress-eating, combined with getting a desk job has caused me to lose my sense of balance. My natural weight is 160 (I am 5'8" and have an athletic build)-- between high-school and college, I steadily gained 30 lbs (with a period in the middle where I was back down to 160), and after college, I steadily gained another 20-- I am now at 210. Now, I am definitely not miserable! I have a partner who thinks I am beautiful this way, and I am active and eat a joyful mostly vegetarian diet-- tons of home cooked healthy dinners with my boyfriend and tasty lunch salads with veggies and beans! But, alas-- there are also incidents where I scarf fried chicken on my lunch break, weird streaks where a eat multiple donuts a day, and some binge-eating episodes where I eat whole blocks of feta cheese or whole boxes of crackers. I feel out of control at times, telling myself I will do one thing, and doing the polar opposite.

So intuitive eating has failed me for now. I think if I get my act together, lose the extra weight and plug back into creating a habit of consuming reasonable portions at mealtimes to fuel my body-- then I can get away from calorie counting again. But until then, I need a map, a guide. Something to ground me during this time of learning and habit-forming.

This year for me is an important one. I faced a difficult few years after graduating from college, where I couldn't get a good job, didn't know what I wanted from life-- now, I am still adrift in some ways, but I have a reasonable-paying day-job, a home to share with my partner, and can finally work to pay off my credit card and student loans. By next August, I hope to have lost the weight, paid my debts, and opened my heart to new possibilities.

They say that the art of life is letting go of the things that no longer serve you. Well, overeating no long serves me. This extra weight, and the psychological limitations that come with in do not serve me. I don't believe we have to wait until we look any particular way to start living life. We are all beautiful, we all matter. But, for me, this weight symbolizes fear, it symbolizes holding on, it symbolizes stagnation. I want to keep moving, to keep experiencing life. I don't want to be bogged down by expectations, but I also do not want to be bogged down by fear. I am ready to let go, and do so in a way that is joyful and life affirming, but let go all the same-- not for punishment, not for self-hatred, but to make space in my heart for whatever comes my way.

It is a pleasure to have a place to reach out to others on similar journeys, and I hope to revisit this forum from time to time when I want to remind myself that there are other people who struggle with the same things I struggle with.

Namaste.

Replies

  • LaurLaur242
    LaurLaur242 Posts: 10 Member
    Hi. I loved your post and can relate to a lot of what you said. I have used this app for about a month, but decided today to try to meet some people on here to gain support. I've never been a calorie counter, instead looking at carbs and sugar. That has not worked for me. I've amped up the exercise and used this site to keep track of what I'm eating and it's really helped.
    Sounds like you're off to a good and positive start. Best of luck :)
  • PerlitaGordita
    PerlitaGordita Posts: 24 Member

    They say that the art of life is letting go of the things that no longer serve you.

    This speaks volumes to me. Cheers to a new start!

    -Perlita
  • kitty3232
    kitty3232 Posts: 4
    Wow, we could be twins in that our food stories are so similar! I am on day 1 of my quest to lose 40lbs so I will be happy to be your cheering squad and keep you motivated!

    Good luck to you and please keep me posted on how you are getting on.

    Kitty
  • sundaemonday
    sundaemonday Posts: 6 Member
    Thanks for the reply! It's so nice to hear from others on here :)
  • heatherv89
    heatherv89 Posts: 20 Member
    Hey :) I live just outside Philly as well. I completely understand the impact of having a desk job- a lot of dramatic changes in my lifestyle have contributed to my weight gain and I'm ready to get back to the weight I was when I moved here! Your post is great- thanks for sharing!
  • colemania21
    colemania21 Posts: 2 Member
    I'm in Philly too! Trying to lose weight in this city is so tough. So much tasty food around. Good luck!
  • Lauryn2888
    Lauryn2888 Posts: 13 Member
    Hey I'm right outside of Philly and have even more than that to lose. I have a desk job too, so I understand. We can do this! Good luck!
  • walker306
    walker306 Posts: 92 Member
    I enjoyed your post. I am also 210 with an athletic build and want to lose 40 pounds. I wish you well and hopefully we can all help each other!
  • bregrig
    bregrig Posts: 154 Member
    I live in Manayunk! I'm here for ya!
  • Great to hear! My story is so similar to yours! Used to be pretty fit in high school and college, but as graduation loomed and the stressful job hunt began I started to gain weight (stress eating--major!) And now sitting at (a part-time underpaid) desk job (that I'm supposed to be grateful for because it's "in my field") has added another 15+ pounds on my already softening frame.

    Thank you for your positive and inspiring words!! Lets do this! :)
  • He1loKitty
    He1loKitty Posts: 212 Member
    Philly girl here too! The food in this city and my lack of control around it caused me to gain quite a bit, haha. But it's pretty inspiring to see how many people are riding their bikes around town. Anyway, it sounds like you've identified your weakness and are on the right path. That's probably half the battle won right there. Welcome to mfp!
  • sundaemonday
    sundaemonday Posts: 6 Member
    I'm in Philly too! Trying to lose weight in this city is so tough. So much tasty food around. Good luck!

    Oh man, don't I know it! I love the food scene in Philly-- it's the best!
  • tuffytuffy1
    tuffytuffy1 Posts: 920 Member
    Another Philly girl here! It is damn hard to lose weight in this city, the food is just everywhere and awesome. Good luck to you, you can do this!
  • LaurLaur242
    LaurLaur242 Posts: 10 Member
    Us Philly Pholks need to stick together :wink: There is sooooo much good food here. We'll just have to work it off !