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Alcoholism

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Replies

  • chrs86
    chrs86 Posts: 151 Member
    Thank you to everyone who joined this conversation. Some of the comments and information have been an inspiration. I've been to three AA meetings over the last week and plan on another tonight. Not sure if the AA thing is for me, but giving it a shot. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy taking the kids swimming, going on a few road trips, and visiting family. Good luck on your journeys as well.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Good for you. That's going to pay off well for you and your kids.

    Good luck.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
    I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

    Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    As stated get some type of help for your alcoholism there is a group on this site called Recovery Group not real active but it might help again AA has saved my life 21 years clean now.
  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

    Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

    Please don't say "don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state." I don't know if you have struggled, maybe you have, maybe you haven't and if you did and moderation didn't work for you then I am genuinely sorry to hear that. But I am definitely speaking from experience, a very hard, difficult struggle at that, I have now been drinking in moderation for TWELVE years and I have not ended up in a worse state! Please do not generalise, everyone is different and each person needs to work out for themselves their path to recovery. My path may not be the "right" path for everyone, but it CAN and has worked for me, so please don't disrespect it or say it can't be done. Thank you.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
    I'm glad it works for you. I did say it doesn't work for most, not all.

    You're right, I can't speak for everyone, and everyone is different.
    It is just my personal believe that your health is to important to taking chances with.
  • rsoice
    rsoice Posts: 212 Member
    Until you admit to yourself that your drinking is a problem, no amount of advice or input is going to help. No program, AA or otherwise, is going to have the answer. You have to decide that you've had enough and you really want to stop. I hope for your sake you make the decision before you bottom out. It's a long hard road back up but trust me when I say though the steps may hurt, the journey is worth it!
  • mtruitt01
    mtruitt01 Posts: 370 Member
    IMO and family experience there is a genetic predisposition to addiction/alcoholism. My first was food. There were times in my life when was around people who drank a lot, so I drank a lot. Who you hang out with can be extremely influential. I learned an enormous amount from 12-step groups. I found a morning group with a lot of doctors, nurses, attorneys, city officials and people that surprised me. 12-step meetings are fascinating because of the range of people you get. Hearing people's stories, you begin to hear yours, or your families. Both my brother, sister and a niece died from alcohol and drugs.
    Everyone is different. Do what works for you.
    I believe the addictive gene is like the game of 'whack a mole'--get rid of one and another pops up. Many people have your concerns. You're not alone. Log everything. Awareness is key to seeing yourself. Love and help yourself. Quitting drinking for nine years helped me be a better everything.
    Many do better with the support of an AA mentor and friend. There's a range of ages in AA.
    Do whatever makes you a better father, husband, son, and friend.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

    Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

    Please don't say "don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state." I don't know if you have struggled, maybe you have, maybe you haven't and if you did and moderation didn't work for you then I am genuinely sorry to hear that. But I am definitely speaking from experience, a very hard, difficult struggle at that, I have now been drinking in moderation for TWELVE years and I have not ended up in a worse state! Please do not generalise, everyone is different and each person needs to work out for themselves their path to recovery. My path may not be the "right" path for everyone, but it CAN and has worked for me, so please don't disrespect it or say it can't be done. Thank you.

    You are the exception, not the rule. You are the 1 in a million. So, good for you, but not for all. You are basically advocating gambling with one's addiction. That's like the parent that says "hey, throw the kid in the pool; he'll learn to swim." Or he may drown. And YOU KNOW there are parents that are like that.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    Thank you to everyone who joined this conversation. Some of the comments and information have been an inspiration. I've been to three AA meetings over the last week and plan on another tonight. Not sure if the AA thing is for me, but giving it a shot. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy taking the kids swimming, going on a few road trips, and visiting family. Good luck on your journeys as well.

    Hey, the first admission is the hardest. At least you've opened your mind to the possiblity. Hey, AA may not be for you. All people are different. But only you can decide. Good luck. Take care of you, brother!
  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    I suggest if you're not completely comfortable at the meetings you attend, try some different ones. They are all run differently.

    Also,....Please,..please save yourself a lot of hurt and problems and don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state. Take care of it while you still have your health!

    Please don't say "don't listen to those saying you can learn moderation when it comes to an addiction. It may work for a while, but for most, you just end up in a worse state." I don't know if you have struggled, maybe you have, maybe you haven't and if you did and moderation didn't work for you then I am genuinely sorry to hear that. But I am definitely speaking from experience, a very hard, difficult struggle at that, I have now been drinking in moderation for TWELVE years and I have not ended up in a worse state! Please do not generalise, everyone is different and each person needs to work out for themselves their path to recovery. My path may not be the "right" path for everyone, but it CAN and has worked for me, so please don't disrespect it or say it can't be done. Thank you.

    You are the exception, not the rule. You are the 1 in a million. So, good for you, but not for all. You are basically advocating gambling with one's addiction. That's like the parent that says "hey, throw the kid in the pool; he'll learn to swim." Or he may drown. And YOU KNOW there are parents that are like that.

    No, no, absolutely not, I am NOT advocating anything. Having had an alcoholic school friend die in her own vomit in front of her little boy I would NEVER, EVER ask anyone to "gamble with their addiction". Don't you DARE suggest that that is what I am doing, don't you DARE!!! Please read my posts carefully. The OP asked for what helped other people. I told him in my first post simply what helped ME, I never said ANYWHERE that he had to do the same and that it would work. In my second post in reply I then pointed out that drinking in moderation CAN be achieved and people should not rubbish the fact it can be done because this might give someone with an addictive mindset the idea that the only choice is alcoholism or total abstention and therefore give up and head down the alcoholic route as they simply cannot give up totally. I wanted to make it clear that it CAN be done. I am not one in a million, I know a few people who have done the same. I also stated that different things work for different people. If AA works for them, brilliant, if something else does, then also brilliant. Please don't take my words and try and start an argument over something I never said!
  • stephgas
    stephgas Posts: 159 Member
    Thank you to everyone who joined this conversation. Some of the comments and information have been an inspiration. I've been to three AA meetings over the last week and plan on another tonight. Not sure if the AA thing is for me, but giving it a shot. In the meantime, I'm keeping busy taking the kids swimming, going on a few road trips, and visiting family. Good luck on your journeys as well.

    proud of you for being open minded! being open allows us to learn from others.

    i once heard a story about a woman at an AA meeting in phoenix. during introductions, she shared her name and said, "i don't know if i'm an alcoholic, but i've been in these rooms for 20 years and it's made me a better person". there's nothing you'll learn working the steps that is harmful.

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