Help: My hubby eats an awful diet!

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BrandiWStuart
BrandiWStuart Posts: 4
in Introduce Yourself
If there is one thing I did not like about my husband when we met, it was his eating habits. Since love of Little Debbie isn't usually a deal breaker, I married him anyway. We don't have children yet, so the eating thing hasn't caused too many problems (other that the fact that I want to stab him with a fork when he refuses to try something).
We have never eaten the same foods. His diet consists of corn dogs, fried foods, chips, ice cream, Little Debbie snacks, candy, pizza, bacon, sausage, grilled cheese, and root beer! He will not eat anything with a sauce, a sandwich (other than PB&J), soup or salad. The only veggies he will touch are fried okra and corn on the cob. He eats fast food usually twice a day and drinks probably a 2-liter of soda. Did I mention he loves bread and sweets!
My diet on the other hand is all natural, no sweets, mostly fruits and veggies, water/hot tea and baked foods.
So the whole getting rid of temptations thing is out the window. I am afraid that on a weak moment, a junk food heaven is only steps away. He has never struggled with weight so he doesn't see it as a problem. I can't stand seeing him eat this way. I know what it is doing to his body.
I have dealt with all of that for 6 years, but here is my most recent concern. I feel guilty about buying those foods at the grocery store. I usually do the shopping and he gives me a list. I have tried getting him healthier substitutes, but he won't eat them. Can I tell him to buy his own groceries from now on? Am I enabling his bad eating by getting him the food? Has anyone out there conquered a very stubborn junk food lover in their house???

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  • rmkorama
    rmkorama Posts: 232 Member
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    My best counsel on this is that what your hubby eats - no matter how much it hurts you to see it - is up to your hubby. You can't force him to change, and trying will likely just make him resentful and strain your marriage.

    That being said, is it possible to have an honest and frank conversation with him about trying to meet somewhere in the middle on this issue? You have reasonable and valid concerns for his health, but also for your own. He needs to realize that supporting you may in part involve sacrifice on his own part. But not total sacrifice. There are plenty of things my hubby eats that I just shake my head at and try not to think about, but as my eating habits have improved, so have his. I still buy him Pop Tarts and breakfast sausage, because he really seems to want them. For his part, he lets me get lower sodium products, has become increasingly willing to try new things, and even surprised me recently by admitting that the nuts I bought for him recently [regular sodium] were too salty! I was very surprised and gratified. It IS possible, with the gentle application of constant effort, but he has to want to change before it'll happen.

    Good luck!
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    Truthfully to eat healthy has to be his decision. When you married u said for better or for worse...well on your scale its worse but on his he's fine. Leave him alone about it. You just continue to lead by example. Maybe one day it will click. Maybe it won't. But as of now your efforts have fallen on deaf ears. Before you decide to have children I suggest you tell him that they will be enjoying treats in moderation because they need to eat healthy as you do.
  • heyday218
    heyday218 Posts: 1 Member
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    My hubby eats terrible as well. However, he doesn't eat ANY fruits or vegetables! He live soff of pizza, chicken nuggets, fast food, and anything fried. I started packing his lunch with things like poptarts (not good for you but better than the crap he was eating) and I would make sandwiches with Honey Wheat Bread (he was completely aginst it but couldnt even taste the difference when I surprised him with it one day and I also put the oscar meyer precooked bacon on his sandwichs. We are making a little bit of prgoress each day with his eating habints and now he maybe goes out for 1-2 meals at fast food restaraunts. Make baby steps and try to find ways to get him to eat healthier in moderate steps!
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
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    compromising is the key. I am a newish vegetarian from texas and my hubby is a meat lover. At first he was irritated with my "insane" change. But I made some recipes that were taste approved by him and we eat 2 veggie meals a week and 2 meat meals (i take my portion out before adding the meat). As a picky eater, I refuesd to tell him what was in the dish until after he tried it (the only rule is no tofu). You are gong to have to have a talk- we did, my hubby was afraid I wasnt the same person even though I am just healthier now. Now he is on my side and things are great with the compromising. Good luck!
  • Erius
    Erius Posts: 23
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    If you ever find the answer, please let me know. My husband is tall and skinny...but eats very poorly. 2 or 3 chocolate bars before bed. 4 or 5 scoops of ice cream. His only beverage is pop. Ok, writing this down is almost embarassing! I`m the one who does the grocery shopping, so I`m the one supporting his habbit, Not that I`m blaming only myself. I mean, these are grown men! I already have three kids to take care of. His eating habits aren`t my responsibility, but I can tell him how his poor eating habits affect the family. He already has high cholesterol, and his grandfather died at 50 from high cholesterol...my husband turns 42 this year. I would really love to have him around for a bit longer! Good luck with everything! The challenges we face will can only change over time. They will never ever go away.
  • Bearface115
    Bearface115 Posts: 574 Member
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    my motto is if he wants it, HE gets it! so stop sabotaging me! lol Soon enough i will inspire him to get back on that track! So you can always tell him no and see if he will be willing to give the healthy substitues a chance!
  • Charger440
    Charger440 Posts: 1,474 Member
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    These days people are way to concerned with what other people are doing. As far as you and your husband, like me and my wife, are two different people, we live life different, we eat different and we are different. Examples of which are, three years ago I quit smoking cold turkey because I needed to for ME, she has not quit smoking and shows no plans of doing so. I know she would be better off to quit smoking but I also know that hounding her about it will do no good and may (probably will) make things worse. I'm trying this "diet" thing cause I want to get back under 300 like I was for years before I quit smoking, she has no interest in it and like most women (I'm assuming) gets highly offended if you mention it. I guess the point I'm making is you have to make your choices for you and not worry about what other people are doing, You can not change them but if you do what ever your going to anyway and not worry about them you might in the long run influence them to follow you.

    If what your doing in your life makes you happy don't let his diet drag you down, you can't change it, only he can!
  • KaitieBug
    KaitieBug Posts: 559 Member
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    my hubby is the same way, although he will eat fruits and veggies (dripping in ranch, cheese, honey-on bananas, etc.), he won't eat anything whole wheat, low fat, low calorie, etc. makes it hard on me, especially since he's always got CHIPS around:love::grumble: he's got health problems that worry me, but, i agree with what everyone else has said, so i won't beat the advice to death. it really does have to be his decision to change.

    now when we have kids, we've agreed we're going to have them eat as healthy as possible (should be fun since our definition of healthy is a bit different lol):tongue:

    however, some changes we've made that help:

    -it sucks, but we buy different milk. 2% always for him, skim for me, or, on good paychecks, organic or almond milk
    -we stock up on things we both love-tomatoes, bacon, etc.
    -compromised on a bread. i need healthy, he needs white: nature's own healthy whitewheat. best we can do together:laugh:
    -i ask him to keep his delicious fattening snacks out of my reach. i'm very short, so this consists of higher shelves in the cabinets. i have to work to get them if i REALLY want them.

    little things like that help us...hope you can use some of it!:flowerforyou:
  • SheliaN1960
    SheliaN1960 Posts: 454 Member
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    Mercy...this guy has to be from the south! I can so relate to his food habits. I, on the other hand am in reverse. My husband is a health nut. He is 64 years old but looks like he is 55 (I am 50) so I guess that what he does is working. But I agree that is can cause hurt feelings. Although now I know my husband really loves me he drove me crazy and at times I would just binge in secret to, in my mind get back at him. Well as it turns out he has won, but not without many fights. Live by example and the right will prevail. Do not get discouraged and best wishes!
  • katya143
    katya143 Posts: 313 Member
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    I would have my husband buy his own groceries and not prepare it for him at all! i will cook a healthy meal and leave it up to him to eat! like a child! ITS AWEFUL!!!! I have a problem with my husband eating huge portions and it annoys me that i have to cook constantly or there will barely be leftovers in the house! It also gets very expensive! Anyone have any tips? FYI my husband is 350 pounds 6'5 height!
  • Mary_Burris
    Mary_Burris Posts: 120
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    My Boyfriend of 7 years has the most horrible eating habits, Im totally in the same boat with you he eats a horendous amount of food he eats like enough for 3 people, does not eat anything Green no salads, veggies NOTHING! and he has weight issues and health issues and just disreguards the problem. He is 350 and is like 6'2.

    We have a 5 year old daughter that has been picking up on his habits and its really making me ANGRY!!! I honestly dont know what to do! Ive started to control my duaghters eating but when she is with her its like she gets whatever she wants to eat.
  • JenCM
    JenCM Posts: 195
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    I feel ya! My hubby is a bit chunky (if he lost 50 lbs, he'd be golden - which I'm trying to help get him to do because I know he'd feel sooo much better) and he's a FOODIE. He went to culinary school and he's a food nut. Me adjusting my eating has been VERY hard because we flat out cannot buy different food for us both all the time...But he's got his things he still has and I still stay strict. He was eating donuts this morning. =P
    And while he once felt guilty about me eating better and him going to some fast food place, that guilt is now gone. lol. I'll be eating salad and grilled meat and he'll come in with a double bacon cheeseburger, large fries and a huge chocolate malt. I told him fine, eat what you want. But I'm not budging on my eating and secondly, if you're going to eat something like that, that you know is a vice for me as far as food....then I reserve the right to go eat my dinner in another room. It's nothing to be mean, I just refuse to deal with the torture at times. *shrug*
    In the end - I know I can't make him eat better (though I have got him exercising with me! And I am slowly getting him to eat more organic foods) - it has to be his choice. Just like for years when my dad fought so hard to get me to eat better, and I continued to eat badly and let myself get so heavy. It's got to be up to him. All I or I think anyone can do, is encourage them gently and keep doing what you're doing and perhaps they'll see how hot you're getting or are going to get in time, and they'll follow suit so they can try to deserve you. ;) lol.
  • FrankyOsage
    FrankyOsage Posts: 275
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    I'm not married but I do the cooking in the house (moved back in with my parents for grad school). But the problem, like what all yall are having, is that my family wont eat vegetables or try anything new!!! I love veggies! My mom agreed to go on a diet if I do the cooking. Thats awesome! I ADORE cooking and am one of those "foodies" and a southern girl so I love finding tasty AND healthy meals and cooking them for my family. But having them pick apart a meal until its a piece of dry meat makes me crazy! And don't get me started on my step dad. Corn and beans, the end. And beans and corn aren't vegetables for a diabetic!!!! GAHHHHH. But they are grownups and can choose what they want and all I can do is keep making food until they like something!!! (Roasted Yellow Squash? A surprising new win!!)

    Tonight I'm making chicken stuffed with sauteed spinach, garlic, and goat cheese :D and I'm sure they'll pick the spinach out....
  • BrandiWStuart
    BrandiWStuart Posts: 4
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    Thank you guys for all of the advice and support. I will say that I don't pester him about it, we just don't eat together. I am a fantastic cook, if I do say so myself, so it bugs me that he doesn't appreciate that. He doesn't care that I don't eat with him, so there is no pressure. He does have a few of those health issues some of you guys mentioned.
    I do fear the day that we have kids and cannot sit down to a dinner together because daddy will only eat a plate full of junk. A father with food issues is a major reason I am where I am today. It is also a major reason why I have two sisters with eating disorders.
    I try and stick to my way of eating and am doing okay. We do live in the South (Mississippi) and my husband is from Texas. We learn here from our parents that food=love. I am working hard to learn a different way of thinking.
    I feel guilty when I buy the the junk food, but I feel like I am neglecting his needs if I don't. I guess we will have to have a "coming to Jesus" as they say here in the South and talk about it in depth. When we do that, do you guys think it is wrong of me to refuse to support his eating habits by way of not buying or preparing the junk food he likes?
  • kitchentales
    kitchentales Posts: 73
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    I dated a guy once who sounds like your husband - always eating fast food, always drinking coke, and never eating what I was cooking. I noticed that my eating habits had changed (for the worse) when I lost 10lbs after we broke up, and the only thing that changed was what I was eating.

    I don't really know what happened with him, except that he was going in for an EKG last January, and was on medication for his heart. The scary part was that he was 22. I agree with what others are saying, it has to be their decision to change their eating habits, but you may want to look in to the health risks associated with carbonated beverages, especially coke, and see if you can't at least make him aware of the dangers.

    Good luck!
  • abutterflyemerges
    abutterflyemerges Posts: 101 Member
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    Hey! Are we married to the same guy????? I'm kidding. I worry about my husband too. He is 10 years older than me (im 40 he is 50) and since losing 100lbs I get told all the time how much younger I look. The other day his best friend told him he better jump on the fitness wagon because soon as I get to my goal weight he will have to worry about other guys chasing me. Anyways I have tried talking to him about his eating habit, it only causes fights. So now I when I cook for him I sneak in good food. Like less fat stuff, low fat, made with veggies. He loves tacos and I'm not sure when i did it but i use turkey meat and he still thinks its regular meat. I do have to hide it cause he sees it and says "dont you feed me that junk" I have even emptied out mayonaise jars and filled them with low fat or when the pancake syrup runs out I put in the sugar free stuff. He has no idea. I do what I can. But he has been going walking with me since I started exercising and also we got a Wii and I got all the fitness dvd's and I challenge him sometimes and he gladly accepts. So for him its a challenge for me its a fun workout getting my lazy husband off the couch. But I feel ya!
  • Charger440
    Charger440 Posts: 1,474 Member
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    I don't mean to beat a dead horse here but I have to admit I'm not sure your going down the right path.

    Several of you have mentioned that your husbands (must be all women in here) and boy friends dont eat as healthy as you would like them too. And, you want them to to eat like you or compromise to make your life easier. Thats just not fair! In my relationship I am the one watching caleries so I can say that. My wife aint watching caleries, I AM, not her therefore, it is not fair to her to ask her to change her eating habbits just to suite me. I'm sure some of you would argue that she would be better off if she did, would she? If the way she is living now makes her happy then what does it matter?

    Since I quit smoking three years ago I could ask her to hide her cigarettes so that I can not find them. That's not fair to her, I QUIT smoking, not her. Would she be better off if she quit smoking, yes but thats not for me to chose.

    Bottom line is dont expect someone to do something to make your life choices easier especially if they go against what makes them happy. Lets just have fun losing some weight and not worry about what other people are doing whether they are family or not.
  • mikebesurfing
    mikebesurfing Posts: 15 Member
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    Hits the Nail on the head...
    I don't mean to beat a dead horse here but I have to admit I'm not sure your going down the right path.

    Several of you have mentioned that your husbands (must be all women in here) and boy friends dont eat as healthy as you would like them too. And, you want them to to eat like you or compromise to make your life easier. Thats just not fair! In my relationship I am the one watching caleries so I can say that. My wife aint watching caleries, I AM, not her therefore, it is not fair to her to ask her to change her eating habbits just to suite me. I'm sure some of you would argue that she would be better off if she did, would she? If the way she is living now makes her happy then what does it matter?

    Since I quit smoking three years ago I could ask her to hide her cigarettes so that I can not find them. That's not fair to her, I QUIT smoking, not her. Would she be better off if she quit smoking, yes but thats not for me to chose.

    Bottom line is dont expect someone to do something to make your life choices easier especially if they go against what makes them happy. Lets just have fun losing some weight and not worry about what other people are doing whether they are family or not.

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