Trying to handle ED and nervous about maintenance cals

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modelktford
modelktford Posts: 24 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Hi! :)

I'm new-ish to MFP--decided to start again to try to get a better idea of how I should be taking care of myself. I struggle with an ED and am trying to get a handle on it by understanding what my body needs, but I am extremely guilty of restricting and obsessing over food and exercise.

I'm a 22-year-old female, 5'3 and ~105-110 lbs (I haven't weighed in awhile because I was legitimately getting obsessive, but I'm not seeing a huge difference in fit of clothes/inches/etc.) By nature, I'm pretty active. I like to be out and about, I enjoy outdoor hobbies, etc. Unfortunately, since moving here and not having a job yet, I sit around a little more than I'd like to. To calculate my calorie needs, I went with "sedentary" because even though I do get out of the house sometimes, for the most part it's a lot more sitting about. I work out 3-5 times a week for maybe an hour--I mix it up with maybe 30 mins of fairly intense elliptical (~300 cals) and some strength training, HIITS, pilates, etc. We also go for walks most days that last about a half hour and are brisk, and I spend a lot of time doing household chores like cooking and cleaning.

HAVING said that, haha. MFP has my current goal at 1540, and I input my exercise every day (which I hope I'm doing right). Usually, even though my goal is set to "sedentary", it ends up saying I've "earned" enough to eat anywhere between 1900-2100. All of that seems awfully high, but this is also coming from someone who is guilty of restricting and has been known to keep it down to 1200-1400 a day even when I had an active job and exercised. I feel fatigued and weak a lot, and I get hungry pretty often, so part of me knows I need to be eating more. The disorder in me, however, is telling me that even 1540 is too many and that it can't possibly be accurate to need 1900 today. As a matter of fact, even when I have 400-500 "left over", I still panic and refuse to eat them. I'm worried that I'm hurting my body more than helping it, but I haven't been losing weight really either so I can't be that deficient, right?

Anyway, does anyone have any advice for sort of getting better about this? Also, are those calorie estimates right? Is the 1540 taking into account my workouts already, or am I supposed to be inputting them? If so, is it really possible that I'd need 1900 calories a day? That's basically unheard of for me, haha. I think my exercise/food diaries are public if it gives a better idea of how I eat.

Thank you sincerely for any help!

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  • Pictureclepto
    Pictureclepto Posts: 9 Member
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    I'm finding that MFP gets the exercise calories pretty correct, and that does mean when you work out you should end up eating more calories than your goal says. I focus on the Net calories, which should be the amount of calories you're actually ingesting after taking exercise into account. I try not to let my Net calories fall below 1200, but I find that anywhere between 1400 - 1500 is just about perfect to keep the weight loss going. My goal is 1900 calories, but I can burn anywhere between 400 to 1000 calories a day so I find that I have to eat a lot more to keep my net calories from falling bellow 1200.
  • AbbeyDove
    AbbeyDove Posts: 317 Member
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    Hi there,

    The 1540 does *not* take your workouts into account if you called yourself "sedentary" as you entered your information. Therefore you would want to eat back your exercise calories to prevent further weight loss. It sounds like you know your body is asking you for more food. Could you make a deal with yourself to eat back at least 2/3rds of your exercise calories? I wonder, too, if it might be even more helpful for you to work with a counselor who understands ED, if that's at all possible for you. :flowerforyou:
  • BPB93
    BPB93 Posts: 6
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    Hey!

    I'm 21 5'3 and I started off a really healthy fitness journey from about 127 pounds to 112 pounds and felt really good about myself until something in my mind broke and I got mega obsessed with calories and only ate 1200 a day and exercised for about an hour each day which made me pretty sick pretty quickly!

    Thankfully mum got me into a doctor and when my hair started falling out by the handful at 100 pounds I was ready to recover ASAP so here I am back at 126 pounds and looking to just get to 115-112 again. All I can say for advice is that you should definitely eat back your exercise calories! If I had done that I probably would not have lost 2 thirds of my hair and messed up my hormones badly.
    So start out slow to not freak yourself out too much! Like eat a little bit of something super yummy every night like a tbsp of coconut oil or nut butter or whatever you like and then build up your normal intake slowly each week to show yourself that you won't gain weight by doing it. If you are active your metabolism will thank you for the extra food!

    Good luck and add me if you want support!
  • modelktford
    modelktford Posts: 24 Member
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    Thanks, guys! :) I will definitely be seeing a counselor--I just moved here, so I'm trying to establish myself with a good one. I'm aware that this has to stop, but I've dealt with it for most of my life and it is very difficult. I know I should eat the amount I'm supposed to, but my mind keeps telling me to stay at least a few hundred under--it's hard to explain, but it's like I psych myself out of eating anything. :/ I wanted to have a little ice cream for dessert, but it's 150 cals and I only have like 300 left for the day, so even though I guess that means I could eat it, I feel like I shouldn't? It's weird. Anyway. I hope I can eventually work through this.
  • sloopem112
    sloopem112 Posts: 3 Member
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    . I know I should eat the amount I'm supposed to, but my mind keeps telling me to stay at least a few hundred under--it's hard to explain, but it's like I psych myself out of eating anything. :/ I wanted to have a little ice cream for dessert, but it's 150 cals and I only have like 300 left for the day, so even though I guess that means I could eat it, I feel like I shouldn't? It's weird. Anyway. I hope I can eventually work through this.

    I don't have much advice to add, but wanted to say that I totally feel you on all of this! I set my goals to lose 0.5 a week (I don't have much before maintenance), but I have such trouble bringing myself to eat what MFP recommends for me. I'm trying to get over this, and the idea that I need to "earn" food and that if I want a treat, I deserve it because I'm a worthwhile person and all that blah even if I didn't log huge amounts of exercise that day.

    That seemed really long and rambling, but I just wanted to say you aren't alone on that and good luck with it!! I'm sure MFP is pretty accurate and for someone with your activity levels, 1900 isn't a lot. Try gradually increasing (I bet you might notice you have more energy--I did!) .
  • modelktford
    modelktford Posts: 24 Member
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    Thank you :) I think it's just sort of surreal to me--like, if this thing is correct, I have like 800 calories left for the day...what?! What am I supposed to do with that?! If I ate 800 calories' worth of food right before bed I'd have a panic attack haha--I think on the inside I'm like "well if those calorie estimates aren't accurate and I'm trying to eat X amount extra then it's just going to add up over time"

    Toooo overwhelming. This is why I'm here + seeking counseling. :P I hope a year from now this all sounds silly to me. BTW, you are a worthwhile person for sure and I hope your journey is going great!

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