Comparing myself to others...

Girl, don't EVER compare yourself anybody....EVER. We are all completely different people. We have different genetics, metabolism rates, hormone fluctuations, body chemistries, appetites and etc. If he broke up with you for that, then he isn't the one for you. I hope someone doesn't expect him to be the vision of when they met forever, because we all change. We age, we get older, we gain weight and you cant stop time or the aging process. Just brush him off your shoulder and move on. He sounds like a shallow douche anyway, and doesn't sound like much of a catch, lol. If you want to lose weight and be a healthier person, then do it for YOU....nobody else. Think about it like this, anyway.....no matter who we are, there will always be someone that is younger, prettier, richer, skinnier, more popular, taller, shorter, tanner, smarter, etc. You will drive yourself comparing yourself to others. Besides, with the different body makeup and genetics, how could you? It's impossible. Just be content where you are at in life right now and if you can improve, or feel like you need to, then do it for you. :flowerforyou:

One thing to remember is that you can lose weight without exercising.

PLEASE understand I'm saying this as a reminder for now, in case you are still recovering from surgery and NOT as an admonishment for not watching what you ate more carefully during your inactive period post-surgery.

Of course you will probably prefer the results and feel better if you do exercise, and I assume you will in some form - especially as a person who has been fit in the past, it probably won't be too hard for you to get back on track with fitness when you can.

But honestly you have come to the right place if weight loss is your goal. Even with no working out - or exercise like 30 minute walks - you CAN lose the weight.

As for being kinder to yourself that is a very worthy goal. I think a little bit of success, like maybe losing that first 10-15 lb, will make a huge difference in this problem you are having of comparing yourself to everyone else.

I think it is a good sign that you have not been a woman who has just always done that...in speaking with female friends and other women on MFP, it saddens me to realize that for many women that is just a part of life, ALWAYS comparing themselves and their bodies to other women and gauging who is thinner/thinnest and so on. I am more of the mindset that to do so indicates a real problem. Years ago before losing over 100 lb I would always go into a new situation wondering if I was the fattest woman there and looking around to see if I was, and when I wasn't I'd feel very pleased about that. Now I never think like that and I am glad that although I'm sure I fall somewhere in the middle always, I don't worry about who else is thinner/fatter. For me that change happened once I started to lose a considerable amount of weight, even though I still had tons and tons of weight to lose since I was morbidly obese rather than your situation of being cute/fit pretty recently.

Sorry that your boyfriend dumped you but you'll find someone better. Clearly he could not handle life's ups and downs.

Omg what a jerk! I'll beat him up for you!! At least you know now he's not good enough for you because he's so shallow. Once you start getting into the groove of working out you'll feel better and compare yourself less. I used to go online and search pictures of skinny girls and then feel crappy about myself. Just stay motivated!!! And he'll totally regret leaving you once he sees you happy, healthy and fit! A weight loss journey is a slow and tedious one so find ways to keep you motivated.

For every person you compare yourself to, there's someone wishing they had something you have. I haven't found a permanent solution to judging myself but I just keep reminding myself of what I've accomplished instead of what I haven't. There's also a saying floating around: "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle."

maybe when you find yourself comparing yourself to others stop and think about what you are grateful for about yourself. think about the steps you can take to get yourself to your goals. think about your goals.



as for the boyfriend i'm going to have to go against the grain and disagree with the others. you werent married, boyfriends are not required to stick with you through literal thick and thin, sickness and health, etc. maybe 60 pounds overweight wasn't what he's attracted to but that doesnt automatically make him a jerk, shallow a douche or any of the other things some of the people have called him

Worrying about other people is any and everyone's downfall so don't do that. You look good to me so I dont know why you trippen. Now about thinking about others.What about you and what can you do about it. Try a little cardio if you can my sister. Supress your appetite with green tea to keep you from eating to many calories. Soak in the hot tub for about an hour. The heat speeds up your heart rate and burns calories not just water weight, from my personal experience and still doing it. Try synedrex it suppresses your appetite and triples your calorie burn every time you do an activity causing you to loose weight even without exercise, "still doing it. There's 500 calories in a pound. Not 3500 like the liars on other sites are saying. Calculate how much you eat. And get a heart monitor that show calorie burn. So you can calculate them, diet excercise etc till you reach your goal. "your one of gods greatest creation, there's nothing you cant do".

A hot tub will not contribute to any significant calorie burn. I can't remember the numbers, but it is less than 100 calories. Synedrex, I don't even know what this is, but it sounds sketchy at best. I don't know where you get the information that 500 calories is a pound, it is a 500 calorie per day deficit over a week that leads to a pound loss. 500 x 7 = 3500.

OP, I get that you are in a very painful place in your life right now. You can do this. There are many helpful and supportive people here. Calorie deficit for weight loss, exercise is for fitness, so if you can't do it yet, start with your eating habits, and move forward as you are able.

ETA: Synedrex from: http://www.dietpillswatchdog.com/synedrex/

Synedrex Concerns:
Synedrex contains ingredients banned by the FDA
May cause strokes and heart attacks
Lack of independent customer reviews

Wondering why OP started up another thread with pretty much the same questions/info??
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1377675-dumped-for-being-too-fat
:ohwell:

She's probably pretty upset. And to be fair, this post was about comparing herself to thinner women NOT focusing totally on her break up. I definitely see nothing that makes me think, "Man, this person is a trolling weirdo"...she sounds like a completely straightforward woman who is determined to lose weight and really struggling with recent issues.

Why not just ignore one or both threads if it bothers you?

The 154lb picture posted earlier is a very important picture to keep in mind. Everyone is very different even when they have something in common.

I think..and I am and always have been the queen of comparing..its primal..we ALL do it.

My advice? use that as a launch to get theyself in shape..

I compared..but never did anything..it took the most hurtful experience of my life..coupled with my awful habit of comparing to get my fat butt into shape..

Its funny..I dont find myself comparing with seething resentment anymore now that Im fit and thinner..unfortunantly karma is a beach and now I sometimes GET what I used to give..

bottomline is..and this is my husbands favorite saying..you can wallow or pick your *kitten* up and DO something about it. My personally..the more I get sympathy, the more I wallow..so while I hate my husbands crassness and no nonsense approach at times..it works for me.