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Whiskey2206
Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
in Chit-Chat
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  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    burbon
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
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    The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt *kitten* is around 24 seconds
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    Fireworks make my ears yell! -Ralph Wiggum
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
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    poop stinks
  • liftmeup1
    liftmeup1 Posts: 373
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    Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
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    Sir, you're making a scene.
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
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    If McDonald's made a deep fried pickle covered in a batter and called it the McDill Dough... would you order one?
  • OhhNiff
    OhhNiff Posts: 1,397 Member
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    So, I got nothin'...
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
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    I fart because it's the only gas I can afford!
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
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    Somewhere, there's a turf war going on between skeletons and secret gays.
  • MINDyourMOXIE
    MINDyourMOXIE Posts: 33 Member
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    Soooo.....my random thoughts....

    If someone dies and comes back to life 3 days later it's considered an abomination and the hallmark of the zombie apocalypse.

    Jesus died and rose 3 days later.

    A+B=C so in my calculations.....

    JESUS WAS A ZOMBIE. Just my humble opinion :laugh:
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
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    Did you ever wonder if camels looked down at their feet and say... Oh MY GOD I HAVE p-ssy FEET?
  • northbanu
    northbanu Posts: 366 Member
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    I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
  • Whiskey2206
    Whiskey2206 Posts: 189 Member
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    Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I'm in public.
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
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    Some turtles can breathe through their butt
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
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    A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender looks down and notices the pirate has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.

    The bartender says, "I couldn't help but notice. You seem to have a steering wheel coming outta your fly."

    The pirate replies, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
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    mukluks
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far. :tongue:

    Does always running late count as exercise?
  • Girlg0yle
    Girlg0yle Posts: 131 Member
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    I AM in shape...round is a shape
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.

    Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

    Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him smiling.

    "What do you have in your pocket?", she asked.

    "Tennis ball?" the man said smiling back.

    "Wow," said the blond looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!

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