It really bothers me...

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24

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  • 3athlt
    3athlt Posts: 131 Member
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    It's all relative. There are people who say they're fat and only weigh 120 pounds, others "fat" number might be 150, and some of us began this journey in excess of 300 pounds. Sometimes I laugh when people say they have SO much weight to lose, and. Their goal is like 20 pounds away. I'm about 145 pounds away from my goal, and I think that's a lot to lose - but someone who wants to lose 250 or more pounds might think that my goal is laughable. It's all relative.
  • socalkay
    socalkay Posts: 746 Member
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    But yeah it is still obnoxious to me when someone says they're at 157 lb and wanting to die because they're so fat.

    I am 5'2" and 157 lb. I'm at the top end of "overweight" by the Body Mass Index scale. I started here at 165 lb, which is BMI 30 for someone my height and termed "obese" by BMI scale. Someone who is 157 lbs may have a legitimate reason to feel bad about their weight.
  • nopotofgold
    nopotofgold Posts: 164 Member
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    I have a few people on my feed who say it daily. I guess there's no way to convince them otherwise. Or do I tell them they look good?
    I would ignore them or say Stop Fishing for compliments!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    My standard response is to agree with them. "I know, right? I was going to invite you to the beach but I was afraid you'd be harpooned" is a good one.
  • garnerish
    garnerish Posts: 67 Member
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    See, stuff like this used to annoy me.

    Then I realised it was kinda ****ish on my part.

    Sure, they may not be as fat as me, but I'm kinda invalidating and ****ting on their feelings by suggesting they can't feel fat without weighing 300+lb.
  • dammitjanet0161
    dammitjanet0161 Posts: 319 Member
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    In real life I've learned just to roll my eyes and say nothing to the compliment fishers, to just ignore them. In my younger days it used to bother me because I'm tall and my "ideal" weight range is still higher than a shorter person's so I used to feel like a heiffer, but I recognise that 7lb might be a big deal for a shorter person whereas on me it's not even noticable to anyone else.

    On MFP though, I've started to worry about the people who seem clearly to already be slim/skinny and are desperate to lose more weight and post threads about it.
  • SaltedEverything
    SaltedEverything Posts: 16 Member
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    See, stuff like this used to annoy me.

    Then I realised it was kinda ****ish on my part.

    Sure, they may not be as fat as me, but I'm kinda invalidating and ****ting on their feelings by suggesting they can't feel fat without weighing 300+lb.
    Thank you! :flowerforyou: :smooched: Very well said.

    Part of it is the disappointment of reality vs. imagination. When I was fat (203lbs) I imagined slimmer people didn't have 'fat days'. Heh. Wrong. 130lbs, and I feel like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters today.

    If you really feel they're fishing for compliments instead of expressing genuine feelings, try this:
    Them- "Oh wow, I weighed 122lbs today, I feel like a blubber-monster."
    You- "Really? Hey, that's 72lbs lighter than me. I guess I must be the creature that ate the blubber-monster?"
    Them- "...never mind. Uh... you look great. Shutting up now."

    *edited for one typo. Because I must.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    But yeah it is still obnoxious to me when someone says they're at 157 lb and wanting to die because they're so fat.

    I am 5'2" and 157 lb. I'm at the top end of "overweight" by the Body Mass Index scale. I started here at 165 lb, which is BMI 30 for someone my height and termed "obese" by BMI scale. Someone who is 157 lbs may have a legitimate reason to feel bad about their weight.

    Did you read the rest of my post? I am 5'8". I also commented that I GET IT that other people are shorter or used to being much smaller and so on. I do understand a person who is 5'2" and 157 lb being upset about their weight, sure...but to be like "I wanna die I'm so fat" seems like a terrible extreme to me and doesn't at all sound like you.
  • antredmond
    antredmond Posts: 27 Member
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    It is all perception though. What one person considers fat is another persons ideal weight. Set your own goals
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(

    What is it that bothers you about them saying that?

    Maybe that's just how they feel about themselves.
  • sweetd6
    sweetd6 Posts: 74 Member
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    I'm 5'1" and presently 124 lbs. I have been as high as 132 lately (lately being the last few years) when, for many many years, my weight seemed to effortlessly stay from 112 to 116 or so. I'm 62 so I guess age really does make it harder. Even at the high end, I have never complained about being "so fat", etc., mainly I just want to be more fit and a bit more lean again. MFP is awesome and is helping me do that, along with my FitBit and my gym. I cringe when I hear people complaining about being so fat, when there are lovely friends/relatives in the room who weigh sometimes hundreds of lbs. more, don't they realize what they are inadvertently saying about them? It's not very empathetic. And I know I'm in my healthy weight range, I'd just like to be a little lower in it. :)
  • skjones0323
    skjones0323 Posts: 53 Member
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    I know what you mean...I guess we have to remember that it's all subjective. We all feel differently in our bodies.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    Your ticker says you have 15 pounds to lose. You're not fat either. :tongue:
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    everyone has a perception of themselves whether it is distorted or not.

    I have lost close to 70+ and people tell me how much better i look and i do not need to lose any more. i see myself in the morning and i still see the fat around the belly.

    do i look better than i did at 296? yes. Do i still need to lose weight (or at least fat around the belly?) yes. just because i say i am fat does not mean because you weight 230lbs that i think you are fat.
  • bkthandler
    bkthandler Posts: 247 Member
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    Try and take it as a reminder that everyone has their own baggage, either the need for constant attention or they just truly are unhappy with who they are.

    I worked and travelled with a woman for a while who at her heaviest (post pregnancy) was an 8 and is usually about a 4/6. She constantly went on about how fat she was and how she didn't have any money (between her and her husband they brought in probably mid-6 figures). I thought I was the only one who found it annoying until i muttered something under my breath once about NOT seeing her at the monthly meeting of the fat and broke club and the person sitting next to me nearly fell off their chair laughing.

    Here's the thing...she's a really nice person and it wouldn't occur to her that her comments can come across as kind of mean and self centered. But something makes her really insecure...
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    When one of my slim friends was trying on new swim suits she kept asking "does this make me look fat?"

    1st time I said no...
    2nd time I said really? you are asking if you are looking fat? again?
    3rd time...I said "if you ask me that one more time I am going to say yes you look fat"

    she gave me the finger...but I got my point across..
  • ditzyFlip
    ditzyFlip Posts: 104 Member
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    I'm sorry for being one of those people. LOL

    But there are days (more frequent lately) where I am unhappy with my appearance. :( I look at girls better looking at me and think, "Man I wish my stomach was flat like that!"

    Boo-hoo.
  • janatarnhem
    janatarnhem Posts: 669 Member
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    welcome to the wonderful world of distorted body vision of body image caused by media. I'm so sorry :( Keep your chin up, you are beautiful in any size

    I like this! I wish I could just like myself and think like this!
  • stillhere1981
    stillhere1981 Posts: 119 Member
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    I feel badly sometimes when I mention that I am trying to watch what I eat and exercise more in front of people that weigh significantly more than I do. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I'm just talking about my own goals. Their body has nothing to do with how I feel about mine, so I try not to let it bother me.

    Just keep in mind that everyone has something they would like to change about their appearance, even supermodels.
  • JenniferIsLosingIt
    JenniferIsLosingIt Posts: 595 Member
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    Don't tell them anything. Just ignore it


    yep.....

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