It really bothers me...

I'm 5'1" and presently 124 lbs. I have been as high as 132 lately (lately being the last few years) when, for many many years, my weight seemed to effortlessly stay from 112 to 116 or so. I'm 62 so I guess age really does make it harder. Even at the high end, I have never complained about being "so fat", etc., mainly I just want to be more fit and a bit more lean again. MFP is awesome and is helping me do that, along with my FitBit and my gym. I cringe when I hear people complaining about being so fat, when there are lovely friends/relatives in the room who weigh sometimes hundreds of lbs. more, don't they realize what they are inadvertently saying about them? It's not very empathetic. And I know I'm in my healthy weight range, I'd just like to be a little lower in it.

Your ticker says you have 15 pounds to lose. You're not fat either.

Try and take it as a reminder that everyone has their own baggage, either the need for constant attention or they just truly are unhappy with who they are.

I worked and travelled with a woman for a while who at her heaviest (post pregnancy) was an 8 and is usually about a 4/6. She constantly went on about how fat she was and how she didn't have any money (between her and her husband they brought in probably mid-6 figures). I thought I was the only one who found it annoying until i muttered something under my breath once about NOT seeing her at the monthly meeting of the fat and broke club and the person sitting next to me nearly fell off their chair laughing.

Here's the thing...she's a really nice person and it wouldn't occur to her that her comments can come across as kind of mean and self centered. But something makes her really insecure...

I'm sorry for being one of those people. LOL

But there are days (more frequent lately) where I am unhappy with my appearance. I look at girls better looking at me and think, "Man I wish my stomach was flat like that!"

Boo-hoo.

I feel badly sometimes when I mention that I am trying to watch what I eat and exercise more in front of people that weigh significantly more than I do. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I'm just talking about my own goals. Their body has nothing to do with how I feel about mine, so I try not to let it bother me.

Just keep in mind that everyone has something they would like to change about their appearance, even supermodels.

You can tell people all you want that they are not fat. but they have to believe it for themselves. most of the time if you agree with them and say "i know right" and then they ask "oh so you're saying I am fat???", that's them wanting compliments. you just need to understand there are lots of people with low self esteem, that could come from hard times at home being told they're fat or what not, and nobody can understand more than them and nobody except themselves can convince them otherwise. who knows, they might also have a doctor like the one I used to have that's like 2 lbs that says "you need to lower your BMI how much do you exercise?". I'm clearly not obese but my bmi is high (30.8) due to muscle and bone mass. she even asked me, "do you even know your cholesterol level?" and I replied, "yes I do and according to my blood test I am in the normal range but thank you. do you want a cookie?". we just need to pray for them and hope they find themselves and get happy with their image and not worry about the media and what it portrays as the "ideal body". :flowerforyou:

But yeah it is still obnoxious to me when someone says they're at 157 lb and wanting to die because they're so fat.

I am 5'2" and 157 lb. I'm at the top end of "overweight" by the Body Mass Index scale. I started here at 165 lb, which is BMI 30 for someone my height and termed "obese" by BMI scale. Someone who is 157 lbs may have a legitimate reason to feel bad about their weight.

@ SoCal! Me too, so for someone who is shorter, its still 30 lbs (40 in my case) that need to go. We may be "fat" for us. Being overweight still has significant health implications. Whether it's 30-40-80-160 lbs that need to go, it's bad for your joints, blood pressure and blood sugar.

It just goes to show that everyone can be unhappy. I have weight to lose to get to a healthier place, never will I say that I am fat. Self-deprecation is one of the most detrimental things to me on a physical./emotional level. Regardless of what you weigh you are worth way too much to be self-deprecating. Society does a good enough job of deprecating for us.
When people say that kind of stuff just be there to support them because regardless of what you see, what they see could be very different.
Body dismorphia doesn't discriminate.

I say I'm fat and I know I'm not....I now add - "I know I'm not fat - but I feeeel fat" so anyone within earshot doesn't get bent out shape. Fat is how I feel sometimes whether it's my IBS, or bloating or just feeling flabby rather than tight....I don't want attention or compliments....I figure it's less worrisome than telling someone I'm gassy....

Agree with them that they're fat. And then tell them "I'm glad that you finally admit it." And then hand them some candy and mutter under your breath, "Tubby".

I know I am not "fat", however I also know that I have put 30 pounds on over the past 5 years and am not comfortable with that. However, there are not too many people I can actually talk to about that without the risk of the exact reaction of the OP, even though it is something that legitimately upsets me sometimes, BECAUSE of the reactions of those with more weight to lose than me. My sister, who currently lives with me, is heavier than me, and I feel guilty every time I say something about having a bad day or logging my food and exercise, etc. I try to be sensitive to her feelings about it too because I imagine that she IS thinking (OMG give me a break!!), BUT as other posters have said, everything is relative to one's own situation. If we apply this to other areas where one might need emotional support, would it always have to be a contest? (i.e. "I am feeling sad today"...response: "Oh you think YOU feel sad, now I am having a MUCH worse day than you! or "I am feeling overwhelmed with responsibility"..."Oh you think THAT is a lot of responsiblity?".... etc.) I am recovering from a recent difficult break up and a close friend is in the joys of the beginning of a new one. Should she not talk to me about it? Yes, it stings inside when she does, I admit, but I am happy for her and would not want her not to share that. I try to be sensitive to the feelings and situations of the people in my life and don't throw things in their faces that I know they might be sensitive about. And, sometimes it is a good thing to think about how others might have be having a more difficult time to put what we consider our own hardships in perspective. However, that said, my perception and my struggle IS my reality, and I would hope that those that care about ME would be equally sensitive and open to supporting me as well. I think that is what friends are for. p.s. I am NEVER fishing for a compliment when I am saying I am having a bad day or not feeling good about myself ! (p.p.s. I do however agree that those with obvious possible eating disorders may be an exception to this rule and need to be guided to help!)

When someone says they're sooo fat. And I weigh more than them. >:(

My sister used to do crap like this. She was 2 years older, 2 inches shorter and tiny...graduated high school at 92 lbs. But now she's had a couple of kids and gotten lazy and she's packed on the pounds. Now she says this crap as if she still expects people to disagree with her. I just keep my mouth shut ;P

it doesn't matter if they weigh more than you, their comfort level may be somewhere else, or hey maybe they carry it poorly because you look proportioned! I've seen curvy girls that carry weight well look 100 times better than someone 50 pounds less that has say,just a gut.....try not to worry about other people.

I have called myself 'fat' before. I don't think I am fat but I am overweight.
I use the term fat just because to me there is no difference between fat and overweight - it is the same to me.

I had a friend tell me how they rolled their eyes (after I left to make a snack) when I made a comment about not wanting to eat something they brought over, cause I wasn't going to log it / didn't have the calories left. I was going to make my own version that I knew would fit into my chart for the day.

Hearing that didn't make me feel good. It kind of made me feel like my feelings on my own body aren't valid and I'm being silly/stupid. Like I didn't (don't) have the right to be unhappy about how I look because I am 'skinnier' than my friend that made the above comment to me.

But I DO feel like I need to lose a few pounds. I DON'T feel good about how I look - so why is it wrong for ME to feel this way? Why should I get eye rolls and such when I am trying to change it?

i think some people say it to get compliments.

i know one girl who would do it a lot. she was like a size 0. she stopped saying it to me when i began agreeing with her that yes indeed she was sooo fat.