Here we go...

Options
SLV9
SLV9 Posts: 15 Member
in Motivation and Support
...again! I feel like my whole life I've dealt with weight issues whether they have been real or just in my head. More recently however I've hit a breaking point. I'm pretty sure I've developed an eating disorder of sorts. The one where you binge but you don't make it to the purge. You feel good while eating but afterward the guilt is overwhelming but for some reason I can't stop. Food consumes my every thought! I don't know if the depression came first or the fat, either way these days they go hand in hand and I am here, reaching out because I‘ve come to realize I can‘t fight this one on my own.
I wasn't always this way. Growing up and my teens I was always "curvier". I have breasts & hips, I'm 5'7" and weighed an average of 130-140 lbs. When I was 23 or so I "ballooned" (or so I thought at the time) to 165 lbs. Instead of getting depressed I just took action. I followed the South Beach diet and had great success taking myself to 125 lbs and hanging around the 125-135 lbs for 4 years. I felt great, had confidence and overall a good state of mind. Around 27 though I started getting heavier. Nothing in my life changed, nothing traumatic however I grew more and more depressed. Again, not sure what came first the weight or the depression. I am now 28 and I have reached my breaking point of 190 lbs. I'm in this vicious cycle of fad diets, fat burners... everything under the sun. It just gets worse. I can't take it anymore. More like I can't do it on my own anymore. I've sought a professional to help for my depression and now I seek a support network to help me through my weight loss.
Writing this out has actually been very therapeutic itself as I've never told a soul about the dilemmas I've been facing. I'm sure this group is the best to do so as I'm sure many of you face the same challenges I do. I've done it before, I know I can do it again. Today is the next chapter of my life. Today I've made the decision to live healthier and happier life!

Replies

  • cambam84
    cambam84 Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    Talking about it is the best thing you can do hun. I have a girlfriend who has started a blog, she took pictures of herself and thought that by humiliating herself that would be motivating. I could never do that, but whatever it takes. I find this site to be amazing! This is a great support system, we've all been and are all dealing with weight issues. If you need to chat or just need support I am here. Feel free to add me as a friend and I am more than willing to keep you accountable and you can do the same for me if you'd like. Good luck with everything!
  • oxavecamourxo
    oxavecamourxo Posts: 270 Member
    Options
    Well you've come to the right place! We are here to help! I haven't experienced quite what you have, but I understand. I thought about food ALL the time! I would eat when I was happy, bored, upset...whatever. I would want to eat all the time. But after starting on MFP a few weeks ago, I haven't been eating nearly as much as I was before, so I hardly ever think about food anymore. It's awesome. Now, instead of eating when I'm bored, I go on MFP and browse around the forums. lol
  • YayMe17
    YayMe17 Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    I can relate to everything you said. I feel like I have been down that same path. For the last year or so I was always thinking of getting healthy & the end of December I just did it. MFP has been the best thing for me. I would love to be your cheerleader & shoulder to lean on.
  • SLV9
    SLV9 Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    Thank-you for listening & for the support!

Categories