Support To Get Started And Stop Beating Myself Up

shaktimama24 · August 2014

I have tried so many times to lose weight. I always lose a little, don't meet my goal, give up and gain it all back. Over and over again. I"m now as heavy as I was when I was pregnant. I'm muscular so I hide it a little, but I know the scale, how clothes fit, and I am so sad and depressed about my current weight.

I really don't know how to motivate anymore. I"ve tried so many times I just want to give up. But I"m a mom and want to be healthier.

Any words of advice?

Spreyton22K · August 2014

Hi there,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling.

What about instead of trying to find motivation....find COMMITMENT.

You know in your heart how you feel, make the commitment to yourself that you are WORTH the positive life changes that you want to make.

Sometimes just starting can be overwhelming so break it down into bite size pieces (no pun intended). If you drink your calories ditch the pop, soda or cordial (whatever you call it). Make a promise and STICK to log on to MFP and weigh everything that you put in your mouth. Do this religiously for at least 2 months (it can take that long to form new habits). If fast food is your downfall make a promise to cut it down, not out but reduced. If getting in adequate vegetables and fruit is an issue start experimenting and stretching your taste buds....you may find inspiration to look at new ways of cooking up a storm that is lower in calories or has in a new veg...and this a great way to introduce children to new foods as well.

If exercise just seems too much to take on board at the moment don't stress.....the thing that will shift the excess pounds is a calorie deficit....please don't be tempted to go for the hardest cut of 2 lbs per week. Get on these boards as much as possible; read the success stories, look up the links to getting started etc etc.

Really, I found it helpful to look at weight loss and exercise as akin to looking after your teeth......we clean our teeth everyday, go to the dentist etc etc so we don't lose them....this is just another habit of good health care to form in your mind....for YOU and those that YOU love.

All the best and I hope this helps. :flowerforyou:

elisa123gal · August 2014

YOu can't wait to "feel" like doing it. You have to just start doing the work, go through the motions and then you will have a real shift where you'll want to be doing it. It just takes time.

It is hard fhe first few weeks…but as the above poster advised..committ to two weeks of sticking to your calories and exercising.

a strange thing will happen… you will start wanting to do it…and you will see it paying off…and then true motivation will come into play.

but motivation comes and goes.. you can't use the lack motivation as an excuse to not do what you know you need to do.

good luck.

karenannaturner · August 2014

Same story here. I keep saying I am going to start soon and then eat worse than ever. I really think coming here to talk to people is the best thing you can do! I agree that it usually is about 2 weeks of terrible and then it gets easier.

Feel free to add me! I love the social support of MFP!!!

chaemd · August 2014

Shaktimama24,
So many of us have been there. I don't know if knowing that helps, but you are not alone. When you are REALLY ready, when you are really tired of being where you are, you will do whatever you have to do to make the change. That's when it's best to start. I only say that because when you are not ready excuses will do, and when you fall, you fall hard. You lose a little and gain a lot. You are impatient and when you don't see immediate results, you give up. Here's what I suggest - make a decision based on WHY. What is your why? If your why is being a mom, make a list of all the things that being a healthy mom will make you plan your healthy meals, exercise daily, stay on track. If you can't think of reasons to keep it together, you most certainly will think of reasons to make poor choices. You can do it - one decision at a time. Until you are ready, forgive yourself. Beating yourself up only makes things worse.

TheIgnorantTroll · August 2014

I have been finding it difficult lately but I know if I keep pushing through it I will come out of it stronger. If I sit back and wait for something to happen I'll be sitting on my back side for a long time and believe me I have had plenty of practise with that. You need to make the move no matter how you feel. Feelings are so changeable and if you let them control you then YOU are no longer in control, they are, and you will get blown about like a balloon in the wind.

I think it's important to have a goal. It's got to be SMART.

1. Specific goal - decide what you want to attain
2. Measurable goal - measure your progress every 2 weeks
3. Attainable goal - once you know what it is you want look for ways to make it happen
4. Realistic goal- it's got to be realistic because if you don't hit the target you set the you can become unmotivated
5. Time - set a time period for your goal.

Personally I I make small goals for myself and each time I reach that goal I know I'm one step closer to my ultimate goal.

Take responsibility and act despite how you feel and keep your eye fixed on the prize.

Best of luck!

dramaqueen45 · August 2014

I too have been a start/stop/start again weight loss person. I now weigh 20 pounds more than what I weighed when I had first started years ago because each time I gain more back. I think the key is to set a smart, realistic goal and try to be consistent each day. Also try to not deprive yourself of any certain type of food ever so it won't lead to a binge and above all, love your body no matter what size you are. My (hopefully) realistic goal is 20 pounds by the start of the holidays and then just MAINTAIN that through the holidays and start again in January for another 20 pounds. It's too unrealistic to try to really lose through the holidays, at least for me. There's too much food everywhere you go. Long term, if and when I make it to my goal I plan to keep tabs on my weight every month and then if it starts to creep up then hopefully I won't have 40 pounds to lose again. It's like I didn't gain it back fast, but 3-4 pounds per year over a few years adds up and then you realize your clothes don't fit anymore. The goal is also to be healthy (dad had open heart surgery a couple of years ago) and stay active (mother is overweight and has arthritis in her knees really bad).

Liftng4Lis · August 2014

For me, I don't think of this as "dieting" or "losing weight" anymore. I decided I want a lifestyle change, therefore I'm going to be more contentious about what I eat, and exercise more. As a result of that I have lost weight. my body is changing shape, and overall, I'm healthier.
Now you notice I said "anymore". It didn't start out that way. I started because I wanted to lose weight and look better. In finding this site, I've met friends that I'm accountable to and therefore make me want to do my best. That's where the continued motivation kicks in. Heck there are always slumps or bumps in the road but really, this is an inside job. You have to want this for yourself; it starts there.
Wish you the best of luck on your journey!

shaktimama24 · August 2014

Thank you so much everyone for the wise words and support. I start tomorrow!

Support To Get Started And Stop Beating Myself Up

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