I've just had it.......

fit4myfamily11
fit4myfamily11 Posts: 13 Member
in Getting Started
Hi everyone... I just don't know where to begin... I feel like I just self sabotage myself and just have NO freakin self control!!!!!! everyday for the past several months... I tell myself "tomorrow is the day" "thats it, im going to do it" and the next day comes and I start out motivated, great.. I tell myself, that my lifestyle change begins today!!! I make a incredibly healthy breakfast and tell myself how I will monitor every calorie that I eat and make the great choices.......... then the rest of the day happens... .. i snack here and there.... then i say ok, just one cookie.. which turns into 3 or 5 .... then at that point, I say, "ah, forget it, today is ruined.. I will start tomorrow again" and the the rest of the day goes to hell!!!!!!!! I eat whatever and then tell myself "tomorrow for real" I am sick and tired of this vicious cycle!!!!!!!!!! I just want it to end........... its not bad enough that I have been diagnosed with pre-hypertension????? that my doc put me on bp meds????? that she said for a fact that exersize and losing the weight will infact put me in the normal bp range????? or the fact that when i was preg i got gestational diabetes when i was pregnant and my doctor told me that I am most likely to develop diabetes in the next 5-10 years if i dont change my lifestyle?????? or the fact that heart disease runs rampant on my dads side of the family???? why do these not scare me enough?? when will the wake up call come?????? when i have a freakin heart attack and laying the hospital bed and then saying "I wish I did more when I had the chance"????????

I opened up an instagram account a few days ago to take before and after picts, to document all my food intake.... I really love tracking it all with pictures...... and was the fact that I put up all my before picts on instagram for the world to see not enough to make me see that something needs to stop....... its always and excuse.... always.......

I will stick to the instagram bc i love seeing progress.. perhaps everytime i eat something bad i should also take a picture of it too... not just all the healthy meals that i have there now......

Im at my wits end with myself...... why is it always "ah, tomorrow i will start again" " ijust ate half a pizza, so screw the rest of the day......" what if tomorrow never comes for me because ive let myself go....... if i can't do it for myself, why is it the fact that I have kids that mean the world to me and rely on me, not enough to get me motivated...... its like, do i need someone to tell me how fat I am, do i need someone to just be brutally honest.... do i not see myself how I truely am???? The scale says 210 pounds, but i dont feel like i look that bad. even though i know I DO.......

I need to lose a good 50-60 pounds..... I know I CAN do it..... ive lost weight very successfully of MFP before in the past.... but I have let myself go and gained it all back..... I don't know why i just can't get it together ...Im beyond frustrated...... I screwed this day too.... started great with a healthy breakfast.. then my kids had pizza for lunch, and i couldnt resist it... again, had 4 slices and told myself, "well, for sure, tomorrow is monday, i will start then :(" why do I do this!!!!!!!!!!

I will stop there, you get my point........ I don't know how to stop this ugly cycle that I cant get stop!!!!!

I will take any advice from anyone,.... im just desparate....
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Replies

  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    Are you logging?? You can have your snacks, just reach your caloric goal.. Why is it so difficult? Do you train?
  • susiessoaps
    susiessoaps Posts: 11
    I know I know I get it look I am starting week four of a program and I messed up my calories the first three weeks out of stupidity, but now I'm invested so i can't just quit after 3 hard weeks. Try a program like insanity you don't need to buy it you can follow a user on you tube. You don't have to be in shape or finish every exercise just try the best you can every day you will get stronger and stronger and pretty soon you will have worked so hard at it that you won't dare sabotage all the hard work.
  • Leenda62
    Leenda62 Posts: 96 Member
    Do you have someone who you really feel you can be accountable too? That is what it took for me. My doctor set me up on a program and I had to go in and face her weekly (at first) to weigh in, show her my food and exercise log and talk about the next week. I think that is why Weight Watchers works well for some people too.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    It sounds to me like you're going to need to make a decision as to your approach.
    Some folks are great at having "just one" slice of pizza. Or just a cookie. Some folks aren't.
    Some folks are great at losing weight by eating differently,and not logging. Some folks do better with logging.

    You need to figure out what's going to work best for you, in the family you live in, in the lifestyle you have. Then you have to do it. If you're going to have one piece of pizza, then do that. if you're going to have no pizza, do that. if you're going to have 2-3 slices of a more healthful pizza, do that. But you've gotta just DO IT.

    Count calories, start a smart formal diet (not something stupid), do something you think you can do.

    Make some friends on here who approach things as you do and hold each other accountable.

    Today.

    Best of luck!
  • Scienceteacher42
    Scienceteacher42 Posts: 27 Member
    Today, which ever day today may be, you don't at any point give up and say I will just start tomorrow. So you ate that cookie, log it and move on. It isn't a reason to give up, instead of resigning to your fate, see how close you can get to your goal. LOG EVERYTHING. Even if it means you are hitting double your goal. MFP has my caloric goal set at 1400 calories. I have only eaten less than 1400 calories twice in the past two months. Of coarse I am exercising so it is ok for me to go over, but on Friday, I ate nearly 3000 calories but I logged ALL of it! I knew I was going over, and it was a splurge day because we had professional development at work and I celebrated my wedding anniversary with my husband. Ate out twice, had dessert, went over on the calories. NO BIG DEAL. Yesterday I was back on track, at around 1800 calories. I went to the gym and did an hour of Body Pump and rode over 20 miles on my bike, and according to MFP I ended yesterday around 1300 calories under goal because it over estimates my calories.

    My point in case you missed it is DON'T GIVE UP AND DON'T STOP LOGGING!!!!!! If you go over, tomorrow you can try to do better, don't try to be perfect, just better than you were the day before. You will get there sooner in small steps than you are getting there now, because right now you are going backwards instead of forwards.
  • fit4myfamily11
    fit4myfamily11 Posts: 13 Member
    No, i don't train.... I don't know where to start.... my doctor said start with walking video, but I'm bored with that.... then I try and go all out and my body just hurts and i just give up before I gained this ridiculous weight I felt so good about myself, people would stop me left and right and tell me how attractive I am , had guys hitting on me all the time, lol.. i have to say a confidence booster.... just got so many compliments .......I really had it together, I know I can be this again, but im trying to get back on a run away train.. and I just cant hop back on......

    I start my day logging, then I forget, then I eat the 5 slices of pizza and say "whats the use" will do this tomorrow.. but Iv'e been telling myself "tomrrow" for the past several months.....

    I am just done..... and once again.. tomorrow is Monday, its a new start... I screwed up today.... cookies/pizza.... why bother the rest of the day.....

    when i did mfp years ago, i lost so much weight..... i would eat anything unless it was counted, i felt amazing, I want to feel that way again....

    someone, just be brutally honest with me,... just tell me how it is...
    guys, tell me from a guy perspective when you see someone like me and all this weight that I carry with me.....Just because I am a mom, i don't want to be frumpy and fat.... I really used to have it together..... Ive lost my groove,..... I need it back...........

    I can totally be on one of those makeup shows, where they show the before picture of a fat overweight mom and then the transformation comes out a beautiful georgeous "model" type woman comes out in her bikini.... and everyone's jaw drops and cant believe that the same woman.. LOL.... seriously...........
  • SmartEsha812
    SmartEsha812 Posts: 1
    I know exactly what you mean. I've been admitted to the hospital a few times for heart related issues, which all could be relieved by losing weight. What did it for me was that the most recent time, the doctors couldn't find my vein, so they had to insert the IV through my neck! Going through that was my wake up call that next time, I might be in the hospital dead. I guess some people need that scare.

    But...no one should have to go through that. Perhaps having a friend to check in on you regularly, having a doctor prescribe a menu and check-ins, or joining Weight Watchers might help you with the accountability. Also, if you're competitive, you could have a friendly family Health Competition that has different health goals for the week/month that the whole family is trying to attain. This would also prevent Pizza Days at the house. Good luck! :)
  • fit4myfamily11
    fit4myfamily11 Posts: 13 Member
    I don't have any In real life to be held accountable to!!! Everyone I know if so thin, or eats any thing and has NOOOO idea what I go through every day..........
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I start my day logging, then I forget

    When it's important to you, you won't 'forget'.... Do you forget to go to work or brush your teeth? Make MFP another of those things that you do, because you have to.
  • JBcat123
    JBcat123 Posts: 211 Member
    im the same way as you. I am not gaining but am at maintenance with my weight cause I keep messing up and saying "tomorrow is a new day, I will start over" and then I screw up the next day. you can do this....MFPers are here for you. Im sending a friend request in your inbox . we seem to be in the same boat.
  • sparklefrogz
    sparklefrogz Posts: 281 Member
    I start my day logging, then I forget, then I eat the 5 slices of pizza and say "whats the use" will do this tomorrow.. but Iv'e been telling myself "tomrrow" for the past several months.....

    I am just done..... and once again.. tomorrow is Monday, its a new start... I screwed up today.... cookies/pizza.... why bother the rest of the day.....
    Because it's only too late if you give up.

    If you forget to log something, make a note in the comment section or estimate as best you can once you realize it. If you eat a dozen cookies and half a pizza by lunch, log it and figure out the most nutritiously impactful, filling, and least calorically dense thing you can eat for supper (it'll probably be a broth-based soup or entree salad).

    No one is perfect at this. The only secret to success is getting up one more time than you get knocked down. Every time you get back up is, in itself, a success.
  • Luv2eatSweets
    Luv2eatSweets Posts: 221 Member
    I know this advise maybe poo pooed on....but why not try the healthy breakfast for a week or two. Then once your body is used to eating a good breakfast work on improving the lunch.I think trying to change everything all at once might be the problem. I'm by far not the best person to head you in the right direction. But hell it can't hurt. I wish you well.Please don't give up on yourself. Everyone on this site has a wealth of information and support.
  • dlb777
    dlb777 Posts: 13
    You might want to keep lower calorie treats around. For instance, I like some of the organic pizzas...and they are only 900 calories for an entire pizza. That way, you don't feel deprived.
  • reachrenhere
    reachrenhere Posts: 30 Member
    One thing that might help is to remove the junk from your house so that you aren't tempted. My son, daughter and sig other all like junk food and unhealthy meals (that part is my fault because I cooked a lot with gravies, sauces, etc.). What I've been doing is trying to change the unhealthy meals to similar meals that are healthier so that we can all eat and I don't cut too much flack from the family.

    Like today I'm cooking extra lean ground turkey into meatballs. Ground beef meatballs are a fav around here but the difference in the calories is significant. I have to make DH some noodles to go with them but I'll just have salad instead. Last time I just measured out the ground turkey on the scale that I could eat and made them into the amount of meatballs that *I* could eat and then did the rest up in a separate pan. It only took an extra 5 mins to do that.

    I also made a new rule that if the kids want junk food they have to buy it with their own money. (It used to be that way in my house until DH arrived.) It really restricted my kids from eating junk food which is a good thing. He always has pop and garbage in the house but keeps it in the recroom so I don't have to see it.

    I have sciatica right now and can't exercise but I've been doing okay with measuring and weighing my food and logging it all with MFP. I am so grateful to have found this site! Fat is lost in the kitchen and muscle is built in the weight room.

    Anyway, that's my two cents.
  • cuckoo_jenibeth
    cuckoo_jenibeth Posts: 1,434 Member
    Would it help if you "pre-logged' your days? Before you go to bed each night, enter all your meals, snacks, and drinks for the next day. It takes out the guess work and has you set for success before your feet hit the floor every morning! I almost always havey entire day planned before I finish my morning coffee!
  • juditdell
    juditdell Posts: 32
    You made the first step by posting. Now you have lots of people to hold you accountable.
    I know how you feel I did that to myself too.
    I have been here for almost a month and it is the best thing that has happened to me for a while.
    There are ALWAYS some members online, who can ALWAYS help you when you have a tough moment, hour, day or week.
    Find some friends with similar goals as well as others who have been on here for a while, and they will help you keep going.

    I agree, LOG and LOG and LOG. When you see it logged, it all makes sense,. You can see where your week points are and you will have to make a conscious effort to keep within the calories. If pizza and cookies are your go to meal, plan your day around them.

    DON"T GIVE UP.
    Noone can start the change but you. However we are here for you for support, at any given minute.
  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    Oh boy... You can do this, its all about the logging!!! How to manipulate your calories and still satisfy your cravings... When I want a meal that is very high in calories, I plan for it... I eat light throughout the day, work out hard to make room for that 1000 calorie+ meal I plan to have. I also have a food scale, so I weigh out my portions to ensure accuracy. You have to do it for yourself, you can't worry about what others think. But I love to lift, and being in the gym in general... The gym allows me to eat more...
  • apeandjazz
    apeandjazz Posts: 13 Member
    show us your before and after pics? I too am a mom .iam 22 I used to be looked at and wowed over too, I was 120 5'2 hour glass shape ,now I year after my daughter and iam 146 and I got lucky with very faint stretch marks, but everyone keeps telling me you HAD such the perfect body and when you were skinny you looked like... ect ect and it hurts because I try, not to the extream but I do what I can I don't indulge in a bunch of bad foods , I eat scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast, no sugary drink strictly milk or water. lunch ill have tomato sandwich or any sandwich, than supper ill have salmon or chicken with rice or potato, snakes will be crackers with cheese and tea and cookies about four. with that I still don't get 1490 calories. I always go under it for some reason plus iam still breastfedding my 11 month old and that minus's 300 cal so it says. and I still don't lose, I post questions on here about it but no one asnwers me ?I need help too. what can I do to get from 146 to at least 120
  • apeandjazz
    apeandjazz Posts: 13 Member
    I feel your sadness because I feel like just giving up because I don't have a good understanding to what I need to do, if I did I would be loseing. So I feel ya...
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Why do you do this to yourself?

    -Because you are comfortable where you are now.
    -Because being fat is easier than exercising and counting calories to lose weight.
    -Because you don't want it 100%.
    -Because you let your body overpower your mind… Losing weight is a mind game- change your mind, change your body.
  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    show us your before and after pics? I too am a mom .iam 22 I used to be looked at and wowed over too, I was 120 5'2 hour glass shape ,now I year after my daughter and iam 146 and I got lucky with very faint stretch marks, but everyone keeps telling me you HAD such the perfect body and when you were skinny you looked like... ect ect and it hurts because I try, not to the extream but I do what I can I don't indulge in a bunch of bad foods , I eat scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast, no sugary drink strictly milk or water. lunch ill have tomato sandwich or any sandwich, than supper ill have salmon or chicken with rice or potato, snakes will be crackers with cheese and tea and cookies about four. with that I still don't get 1490 calories. I always go under it for some reason plus iam still breastfedding my 11 month old and that minus's 300 cal so it says. and I still don't lose, I post questions on here about it but no one asnwers me ?I need help too. what can I do to get from 146 to at least 120

    My wife is the same way... Caloric defecit isn't enough for her; but she gets great results from the lifting and cardio program she's been following, and she's now losing about 2 pounds a week steadily...
  • fit4myfamily11
    fit4myfamily11 Posts: 13 Member
    You guys are awesome... I had debated posting this for a couple weeks now.... I'm glad I did today...

    I am ready to do this... I'm ready to get my sexy back ;) I know I used to have it......and I wont lie, I loved all the attention ;)

    YOu are all so motivating..... and encouraging...... I am ready for this...... I really am..... I will use the boards more to get the support......and motivation.. thank you all.!!!

    Please if anyone has anything to add. i will take all the advice you all have to offer for me.........

    and btw, how do you stop all the voices in the kitchen telling you to eat.. I spend alot of time in the kitchen and baking for the family....and its like the fridge , the pantry is just calling my name... how do you resist when you feel gravity pulling you to look for food at random times of the day???
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    I feel your sadness because I feel like just giving up because I don't have a good understanding to what I need to do, if I did I would be loseing. So I feel ya...

    Do you use a food scale?
    Do you log consistently? (i.e. daily and everything you eat whether it's good or bad)
    Do you exercise?
    Do you take measurements?
    Do you drink enough water?
  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    To me, junk food and fast food is just not always worth it... The only way I'm having pizza is if I'm visiting friends in Brooklyn, I'm not going to just eat any pizza... Chips and candy are for children.... The other day, I had like 600 calories left to eat after working out, I ate it up worth of ice cream, without any guilt! Why? Because it fit my macros!!
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    You guys are awesome... I had debated posting this for a couple weeks now.... I'm glad I did today...

    I am ready to do this... I'm ready to get my sexy back ;) I know I used to have it......and I wont lie, I loved all the attention ;)

    YOu are all so motivating..... and encouraging...... I am ready for this...... I really am..... I will use the boards more to get the support......and motivation.. thank you all.!!!

    Please if anyone has anything to add. i will take all the advice you all have to offer for me.........

    and btw, how do you stop all the voices in the kitchen telling you to eat.. I spend alot of time in the kitchen and baking for the family....and its like the fridge , the pantry is just calling my name... how do you resist when you feel gravity pulling you to look for food at random times of the day???

    Like I said, mind over matter.

    If you just ate an hour or two ago, it's not true hunger. But if you NEED to chew on something, eat veggies… carrots, celery, cucumber, etc. If you ate over 3 hours ago, have a little something because your body probably needs it. When you feel the need to eat, drink a big glass of water, go read a book, go on a walk, do yoga or pilates, draw a picture, paint a picture, paint your nails, take a bath. Do something to take your mind off of food.
  • Meerataila
    Meerataila Posts: 1,885 Member
    Here are some things that have or are helping me:

    1. Pick a date one month from now. Put all your "I'll just have one, I need it, I'll start tomorrow" thoughts on that one day. Commit to this one month that you will not eat over your calorie goal and you will not eat anything that you know is going to make you hungry and cravy and put you over your goal. When that day you picked comes, you can decide if you want to abandon your hard work even for one day or if you're okay with continuing on as you are.

    2. As hinted at above, stop putting anything in your mouth that makes you crave or makes you hungrier. Only eat foods that make you less hungry after you eat them.

    3. Think of the food your kids bring into the house as their food, not yours. Not even if you have to prepare it for them. You have your food, they have theirs. I fix food for my son (high time he makes his own, but he's a bit spoiled!) and I don't eat it. It's not my food. It's his.

    4. Cook from scratch if you don't already. That lets you control what goes into everything.

    5. Weigh or measure every bite and log every bite, even if you go over. Even if you go completely berserk. At least that way you know how many calories you're setting yourself back.

    6. Get moving. Go walk, run, dance, learn a lethal martial art, bike, anything to replace wandering into the kitchen and staring at the fridge. Plus endorphin highs are great and legal and they don't make us fat.

    7. Get mad, get determined, get fired up, think about this every day because frankly to succeed you may have to get a little bit obsessive. I find it helps to be less crazy obsessive if I at least think more about nutrition than about calories in and calories out. Or at least it makes my obsession nice and well-rounded!

    8. Know you can do it. You might choose not to, but you can do it. It's up to you.

    9. Use MFP. It's a great resource, by being here, you're making great strides already toward your success.

    10. Learn everything you can, try every which way there is to try as long as it's not likely to put you in a pine box, until you find what works best for you. Sure, it's all about calories in calories out from a physics standpoint, but compliance is obviously a big deal. Find the way of exercising and eating that makes compliance easiest for you.
  • caesar164
    caesar164 Posts: 312 Member
    You guys are awesome... I had debated posting this for a couple weeks now.... I'm glad I did today...

    I am ready to do this... I'm ready to get my sexy back ;) I know I used to have it......and I wont lie, I loved all the attention ;)

    YOu are all so motivating..... and encouraging...... I am ready for this...... I really am..... I will use the boards more to get the support......and motivation.. thank you all.!!!

    Please if anyone has anything to add. i will take all the advice you all have to offer for me.........

    and btw, how do you stop all the voices in the kitchen telling you to eat.. I spend alot of time in the kitchen and baking for the family....and its like the fridge , the pantry is just calling my name... how do you resist when you feel gravity pulling you to look for food at random times of the day???

    Try not to keep processed foods and snacks in the house! If you eat a lot of protein, from chicken or lean steak or whatever source you prefer, it tends to keep you full, so your less likely to have cravings!
  • ChelseaWelseyKins
    ChelseaWelseyKins Posts: 272 Member
    Think of it like this: You eat a crappy snack, and say F it to the rest of the day because it's already ruined right?

    If you dropped your phone on the ground, would you say "F it" and stomp all over it just because of ONE LITTLE PROBLEM?

    No. You wouldn't. So why would you do it to your body?
  • ssimmons1952
    ssimmons1952 Posts: 1
    I just started this a little over a week ago, and I have found that logging every morsel I eat keeps me going. Most days I feel slightly hungry all day long (I am trying 1300 calories/day, but usually get to 1400 or 1500), but each day it gets a little easier. I never had a problem with weight until I was about 48, and started working in Silicon Valley, sitting at a computer 12 or more hours a day. Having to log my food intake is really keeping me from overeating. There was one day that I went up to 2000 calories, and the little blurb at the bottom of the screen reminded me what I would weigh in 5 weeks if I ate that way every day. I know that if I introduce exercise at some point I can consume more calories, but one step at a time for me.
  • exterminatingmyfat
    exterminatingmyfat Posts: 21
    I understand where you're coming from. I struggled (and still do) with cravings and just completely eating everything in sight. I also used to eat based on my emotions, so if I was sad I'd go get a bag of chips and eat it all. But, I've found a diet that works for me and suits my needs. For me, that diet is the keto diet. And when I say diet I mean LIFESTYLE. This is a commitment you have to make. You can't just cop out when it's inconvenient for you. You have to keep fighting.

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