Do I look skinny?

Owlibee · August 2014

I have had some useful advice on here on how to help me gain weight and deal with my issues and I am taking it on board

However I am still very concerned with my body shape. I know I keep asking for advice and you are all probably sick of me by now!

Finally got the courage to upload a pic of me in my bikini (which never gets worn due to my insecurities to how skinny I look) http://www.myfitnesspal.com/photos/view/68176868

I am most concerned over my hip bones. I wonder is there a way to help the fat gain around my hips more? is there any exercises to help. Do I focus on my legs in order to do that?

I am clueless at weight training or exercises to help gain weight.

jfauci · August 2014

I don't think you look too skinny. As for gaining, I don't think you can target areas for gaining. My suggestion is to do weight training and target all areas. Do legs one day, arms the other, etc. I found that even though my weight stayed the same, once I started working out and building muscle, my hip bones protruded less.

lucky_duck18 · August 2014

You look great! Dysmorphia is very hard to come to terms with, perhaps you should seek professional guidance. I wish you luck in recovery.

Graelwyn75 · August 2014

Nope, you do not look skinny, it is definitely the remnants of your anorexia speaking there, as in, you are still seeing what you saw then, which is quite unusual as it is normally the reverse. I had severe anorexia myself at 18, but have never seen myself as smaller than I am in the many years since. I am surprised, however, that you still have the dysmorphic view even when looking at photos of yourself? You look totally normal and a healthy weight. You need to try and work on disregarding what you think you are seeing, accepting it is faulty cognition and simply working on being healthy and fit rather than messing about with your weight and trying to force your body to be something it is not. Maybe you are not going to a higher weight, because your body is perfectly happy and healthy at your current weight and this is good. It shows things are working properly in spite of your ED history.

Suggest making some fitness goals or other life goals and simply laughing at the image you think you see in the mirror as it is not what is actually there. You are not that emaciated anorexic anymore. That was then, this is now. I really hope you can overcome this issue as you deserve to have some peace of mind and to see yourself as you truly are.

In terms of weight training... either look up Stronglifts 5x5 on the internet, which is very simply and progressive and has videos showing what to do, or get a book called 'New Rules Of Lifting For Women'. If you do not have access or cannot get access to a gym, or some weights, then look at bodyweight exercises in books called 'You Are Your Own Gym' or Bring It!' by Tony Horton.

JoRocka · August 2014

I cannot see you're pictures at work.

But- I wanted to say- we aren't sick of you- but we are concerned for you. The focus is very much on "how do I look"... and nothing tangible- with an end goal that can be clearly defined.

I think it's really important for you to start doing something you LIKE doing- going for walks- invest in a bike- rollar blades- rock climbing- something- and set a some tangible goals.

You're focus is on something completely subjective and you're mind will play tricks on you- you will NEVER be satisfied or meet with a satisfactory end with "how do I look" as an end goal. Being able to really grab on to hard successes that you can measure- and meet out will really go a long way to improving how you feel about yourself.

Quick example- I have fat thighs- I have always had fat thighs- sometimes I have melt downs when I'm emotionally broken and I'm sitting and I see 2 big piles of blubber in front of me.

And then I go to the gym- and I can pick up some REALLY heavy stuff. And then I remember why I love my legs- because without them- I got nothing on picking stuff up. The picking stuff up outweighs my highly subjective opinion of my "blubber" legs. Because picking up 300+ pounds is awesome.

Chenry18 · August 2014

I think you look great; you don't look too skinny at all!

klouise1811 · August 2014

You look awesome

larainew · August 2014

Your body shape looks pretty ideal to me. It's time to worry about something else, maybe set a goal that's not about weight. I haven't seen any of your other posts, btw, so that's just based off this one.

sexysmartlove · August 2014

Nope. You look healthy.

Sora4ever · August 2014

You look healthy, curvy, and beautiful!

SomeNights246 · August 2014

Nope, you do not look skinny, it is definitely the remnants of your anorexia speaking there, as in, you are still seeing what you saw then, which is quite unusual as it is normally the reverse. I had severe anorexia myself at 18, but have never seen myself as smaller than I am in the many years since. I am surprised, however, that you still have the dysmorphic view even when looking at photos of yourself? You look totally normal and a healthy weight. You need to try and work on disregarding what you think you are seeing, accepting it is faulty cognition and simply working on being healthy and fit rather than messing about with your weight and trying to force your body to be something it is not. Maybe you are not going to a higher weight, because your body is perfectly happy and healthy at your current weight and this is good. It shows things are working properly in spite of your ED history.

(I just reread through it and saw that you have battled anorexia, too. Which might make this even more interesting, or not. I'm not sure. Should have read closer the first time! My apologies.

)

Believe it or not,it is actually quite common in ED recovery to see oneself as smaller. It is a stereotype that it is usually the reverse! Many people recovering from anorexia realize what the illness has done to their body, and because of how drastically and frequently the body of someone with an ED changes, the mind seldom ever has time to 'catch up' with the body. Leaving them as seeing themselves as larger or smaller than they are. I still struggle with not the former, but the latter. In the early stages of my recovery, I was still losing weight. Now, I've gained a bit and gained a tad bit of muscle (not much, but enough to logically see a difference) and still struggle seeing me now as I keep seeing me then. If that makes sense. It's normal to see yourself as larger or smaller when you have an eating disorder. Inf act, the reflection can change literally day by day.

I do think the OP looks healthy and at a great weight for her body shape/size. My first thought when looking at that picture was exactly that. The one thing I could recommend is some toning in certain areas, but not knowing how far she is in recovery - I hesitate to recommend even that (if she's not too far in, exercise could trigger - or it could not, everyone is different and I'm sure she knows if it would!). I think you look great, OP. Good luck in whatever your goals are now. And good job on recovery. :flowerforyou:

Missfit35 · August 2014

Perfect!

Holla4mom · August 2014

I have to admit that I was expecting to see someone severely underweight and unhealthy looking.

You actually look great and healthy. You should be very, very proud of the work you have done to overcome your ED and make this amount of progress!!

I do recommend continuing to work with a therapist who has experience with BDD. This is just a part of your continued recovery as your mind catches up with the wonderful changes you have made.

You look fantastic, really, but I know it doesn't matter what others say if you can't see it for yourself.