They ask, they complain, and then they don't listen.

Maybe she sells those pills?

In my strength class at the gym there's this lady. She doesn't live too far off from me actually and can be considered a neighbor even though we don't know each other well.

She keeps complaining to me about not losing weight, eating barely anything and being hungry all the time.

Then I give her advice, I tell her track calories, eat more protein and less carbs. Then she starts talking about buying fat burning pills because her metabolism is so slow. I keep telling her that's not the problem. She tells me what she eats and its almost nothing. I tell her to eat more.

Every time I start giving her advice she either chips in and tells me about some stupid pill, or she just walks away. It makes me want to hit my head against a wall.

Like honestly, if you won't take advice stop complaining to me!!!! :explode:

I get this all the time ... ppl ask me for advice or help and then only want to do what they want to do ... what's easy ... no one wants to put in the time and effort it takes.

I think what erks me the most is when they ask for advice, then throw out something someone else told them at you from what you just said. I've flat out told people, don't ask me for my opinion or what works for me if your going to tell me your friend did it a different way, go listen to your friend your wasting my time.

Yes, I understand where you are coming from. Its tough because some people just are not ready. I call it "getting your mind right". I could relate to wanting to lose the weight really bad...but not having the mind right. It took me a couple years. Theres nothing you can do for those who dont have the right mind set. It just takes time for them. You can be honest about what you do and people will only see or hear what they are willing to see or hear.

I still to this day get people saying things like "Is that on your diet?" or "How can you eat THAT?'

People will not understand- Its not magic. I eat "regular food".

Keep doing your thang. I would suggest not talking with her often...negativity can slowly chip away at you... Dont let that happen.

Like honestly, if you won't take advice stop complaining to me!!!! :explode:

Some people don't want a solution to their problems, some just want to vent.

It's all about self-pity really. And it is something the will always prevent someone from becoming what they could have become.

She actually is though. She asked me today how am I so energetic??? How can I get through the workouts without getting tired?? (I do, I just don't show it) what am I doing different???? Or.... When she overheard it, she asked me How can you eat pizza and LOSE WEIGHT?!?! GASP!!!

Your obviously hogging all the magic weight-loss pills.

It takes a while to re-wire your brain. Re-route your thought process. I'm sure she is hearing what you say but it sounds like she is really hard-wired to pills and eating like a bird and what you are telling her goes against everything she knows about losing weight. It may click with her one day or not. Be patient.

I have similar happen at work all the time.

Coworker: You've lost so much weight! How did you do it? Tell me your secrets?!
Me: I count calories.
Coworker: Oh, I could never do that.
Me: K.


Coworker: How do you eat mac and cheese and get so small?
Me: I count calories. I make sure I only eat a certain amount of calories every day.
Coworker: Oh, that wouldn't work for me.
Me: K

Coworker: You've lost weight! I just tried [pills promoted by Dr. Oz]. Are you on any pills?
Me: Thanks. Nope.

I like these responses. You're acknowledging that coworker said something, but you're not about to launch into a debate. Well done!

I have a friend who does similar things. Sometimes I think our society has become too immediate. People want a fast cure for their weight loss, they don't want to hear it takes time, effort and dedication. Sometimes it seems like people just keep asking because they didn't get the answer they wanted.

I say buy a t-shirt that says "This body acquired with dedication and BMR knowledge" . When she starts in point to the shirt.

I have a friend who does similar things. Sometimes I think our society has become too immediate. People want a fast cure for their weight loss, they don't want to hear it takes time, effort and dedication. Sometimes it seems like people just keep asking because they didn't get the answer they wanted.

Holy Hit the Nail on the Head, Batman... Absolutely.

You don't become fit overnight then have the miraculous ability to "Eat Whatever and How much of Whatever you want." But no one wants to hear that. They want to hear: "All you have to do is take 3 ChubboBurns a day and the fat will melt off- you don't even have to exercise!"

That's why the terms "Fat" and "Lazy" are often synonymous. If you're not willing to put in the work, you will NEVER reap the reward.

I relate to this completely! I can't count how many times a friend, family member, or co-worker will ask me what my "secret" is. Its just good ole fashion healthy eating and exercise. Nothing secret, magical, or supernatural about it. It is what has always worked and only worked (permanently) for years and years. Anything else is just a temporary quick fix that teaches you nothing. Unfortunately, our world has conformed to the "have it your way NOW" method and has pushed the "easy button" for way too long. Yes, you can lose some weight taking pills, starving yourself, and/or following some crazy strict diet but almost always when you stop (and you will eventually have to stop), you better be ready for all those pounds (and then some) to come back, not to mention the ill-effects it has on you in the long run. I have friends that keep telling me they want to lose weight more than ANYTHING, but when I invite them to workout with me at my kickboxing/women's fitness classes, etc. or tell them to join MFP and start keeping track of their calories and get control of their diet, they have every excuse in the book. That tells me they either don't want it enough or they want it but don't want to work for it. Then they will put loads of money into pills, weight loss drinks, etc. but can't do something free like going for a walk or uploading MFP free app. And then they get mad because they didn't get the results they expected. I try to be sympathetic but when you've told someone over and over and have done everything you can to help and they don't want to listen and keep making the same mistakes over and over, you eventually get where you get tired of hearing it. On the flip slide, I have been in their shoes. I too used to want to lose weight fast and I got on some crazy restrictive diets, starved myself, and took pills. Sometimes I would lose a little weight but always gained it back with usually a little extra. I didn't want to listen either and thought there had to be an easy way. It did finally come to the point where I had to learn the hard way and really want it for myself and I had to except the reality that it wasn't going to be quick and easy but it was going to be worth it. So that's what I keep trying to tell people now. They may or may not listen but, maybe one day they will realize like I did. Just keep saying/doing what you're doing. That's all you can do. They have to be the ones to take the initiative for the next step and they have to really want this and want to do it the right way, or else they will just keep doing what they have always done and keep getting the results they always get.

Also I have had this situation: A friend called me right after I got out of the gym and asked what I was doing. I told her I just finished my workout and was getting a bite to eat at McDonald's (grilled chicken sandwich, no bun). She started laughing and said; "You go workout and then eat??? Isn't that defeating the purpose?" I just wanted to face palm her through the phone so bad!!!

Yep this is exactly why I don't put myself out there unless someone truly wants to do the work. I will tell a friend to start logging everything they eat and to start paying attention to portion sizes and to try to make better choices in the foods they choose. I tell them to get more active. Then I send them on their way. I may check up on them in a week or so and ask how its going. IF they say its going well and ask me more questions, I will answer but if they say they aren't doing these very basic things then I know they weren't serious and not worth my breath on this subject. People need to walk on their own feet. Complaining never lost me any weight so it wont for them either. Plain and simple. Most people only want the final result without having to do the hard work it really takes. Just give up. I know you want to help but you can only lead the horse to water, not make them drink.

Sounds like a good portion of the topics right here at MFP.