Fat and Disgusting

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mamaoftwins9197
mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
in Motivation and Support
How would you respond to an adult who told you you were fat and disgusting? This was not a complete stranger, but an acquaintance and she said it in front of my kids. It came at the end of an argument that I did not give her the satisfaction of participating in. I thought of a million wonderful, appropriate and not so appropriate responses, after the fact.
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  • MrDisk
    MrDisk Posts: 9 Member
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    I personally wouldn't give her the satisfaction of a reply. There's no question it was intended to be a bitter and hurtful comment. I see you've lost 56 Lbs so far. My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. Don't let her negativity seep into your life. Nothing positive will come from trying to respond to something so intentionally cruel. Good luck with everything!
  • RWilliams_Fit
    RWilliams_Fit Posts: 81 Member
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    pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!

    congrats on your weight loss
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
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    Cut contact with such a vicious person.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    How would you respond to an adult who told you you were fat and disgusting? This was not a complete stranger, but an acquaintance and she said it in front of my kids. It came at the end of an argument that I did not give her the satisfaction of participating in. I thought of a million wonderful, appropriate and not so appropriate responses, after the fact.

    If you must respond, "I can lose weight. There isn't much help for your personality, though."
  • Bellodesiderare
    Bellodesiderare Posts: 278 Member
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    My question is what led up to that level of hostility? There is definitely more to the story here...

    Otherwise, the response is to successfully lose weight and look smokin' hot in front of her every time the opportunity arises. I find that people like that are often most pissed off by others success and happiness ;)
  • mamaoftwins9197
    mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
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    My question is what led up to that level of hostility? There is definitely more to the story here...

    Otherwise, the response is to successfully lose weight and look smokin' hot in front of her every time the opportunity arises. I find that people like that are often most pissed off by others success and happiness ;)
    She thinks I "scammed" her on a raffle I did over 2 years ago. The issue is, we've seen each other since and she's never mentioned it before. She was mad that I wouldn't give her her $5 back. Other than that, I think she is just mentally unstable.
  • JeriAnne84
    JeriAnne84 Posts: 543 Member
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    In my mind: HADOUKEN.

    In reality: I'd be upset, super upset, and not say anything, but I wouldn't show that I was upset because I wouldn't give someone like that the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me. So I'd take that comment, stuff it down, and use it as motivation to work out and just be healthier so I could see that person again down the road and watch their stupid face drop at how awesome I look.

    Then I'd laugh my formerly fat *kitten* off at them and strut away.
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
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    You did the right thing. Those comments were meant to be hurtful and now you know exactly what type a person she is. Nothing good can come from responding to her issues. The great thing about it, you are on way to being healthier. Her true ugliness will never go away.
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
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    I personally wouldn't give her the satisfaction of a reply. There's no question it was intended to be a bitter and hurtful comment. I see you've lost 56 Lbs so far. My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. Don't let her negativity seep into your life. Nothing positive will come from trying to respond to something so intentionally cruel. Good luck with everything!

    This. People lash out like that usually because they are unhappy and have their own personal issues. You are improving your life and setting a wonderful example for your children. As hard as it may be, sometimes we just have to ignore the naysayers and cruel people and keep on, keepin' on. I hope that you don't have to interact with this acquaintance on a regular basis!

    But... I also like this response too:
    If you must respond, "I can lose weight. There isn't much help for your personality, though."
  • Go_Deskercise
    Go_Deskercise Posts: 1,630 Member
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    Fishing... Fishing... Fishing
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    I would cut them out of my life. Especially if they are just an acquaintance. That's too much hostility and emotion to put up with from someone you really don't have much investment in to be obligated to put up with that kind of drama.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    It's hard to say without knowing the original topic. But I suspect silence was a perfectly appropriate response.

    If you children are old enough, use the event as an example of how not to speak to another person.

    Oh, and I wouldn't be around that person again if I can at all help it.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!

    congrats on your weight loss

    ^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are :) And keep up the great work!!!
  • mamaoftwins9197
    mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I was just shocked. I haven't been called fat out of malice or spite since I was a teenager. I'm glad my back was to her, so she couldn't see the dumbfounded look on my face.
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
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    pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!

    congrats on your weight loss

    ^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are :) And keep up the great work!!!

    ^^Absolutely.

    Doesn't really matter what the background argument was, there is no excuse for her comment.

    Be thankful that she has shown her true colors and keep this "friend" at a distance from now on. She obviously does not have your best interests at heart. People who treat others this way are typically unhappy in their own lives and thrive on throwing some of their misery at others. Sad really.
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
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    I wouldn't. Comments like that don't deserve a response. If this is someone in your life by choice (friend, etc), cut them.

    I immediately drop people who talk about me negatively like that. I don't have time to spend around children. There are a gazillion better ways she could have voiced her "concern" for you that didn't involve a personal attack.
  • mamaoftwins9197
    mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
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    pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!

    congrats on your weight loss

    ^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are :) And keep up the great work!!!

    ^^Absolutely.

    Doesn't really matter what the background argument was, there is no excuse for her comment.

    Be thankful that she has shown her true colors and keep this "friend" at a distance from now on. She obviously does not have your best interests at heart. People who treat others this way are typically unhappy in their own lives and thrive on throwing some of their misery at others. Sad really.
    That's exactly what I told my son when he asked me why she was so mean. I told him that some people are just really unhappy and they take it out on other people. He then told me I'm not disgusting. Sweet little booger.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.

    And also site down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.
  • mamaoftwins9197
    mamaoftwins9197 Posts: 142 Member
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    I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.

    And also site down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.
    My kids and I have talks like this all the time. We have a pretty diversified group of friends, so they are aware of all kinds of differences (weight, race, sexual orientation, disabilities/abilities) and how those are not the things you "judge" a person on. They know that I am on a weight loss/get healthy mission and they roll their eyes at me when I tell them we're taking a walk after dinner...LOL.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    do not acknowledge her existence again

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