Fat and Disgusting
mamaoftwins9197
Posts: 142 Member
How would you respond to an adult who told you you were fat and disgusting? This was not a complete stranger, but an acquaintance and she said it in front of my kids. It came at the end of an argument that I did not give her the satisfaction of participating in. I thought of a million wonderful, appropriate and not so appropriate responses, after the fact.
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Replies
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I personally wouldn't give her the satisfaction of a reply. There's no question it was intended to be a bitter and hurtful comment. I see you've lost 56 Lbs so far. My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. Don't let her negativity seep into your life. Nothing positive will come from trying to respond to something so intentionally cruel. Good luck with everything!0
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pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!
congrats on your weight loss0 -
Cut contact with such a vicious person.0
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How would you respond to an adult who told you you were fat and disgusting? This was not a complete stranger, but an acquaintance and she said it in front of my kids. It came at the end of an argument that I did not give her the satisfaction of participating in. I thought of a million wonderful, appropriate and not so appropriate responses, after the fact.
If you must respond, "I can lose weight. There isn't much help for your personality, though."0 -
My question is what led up to that level of hostility? There is definitely more to the story here...
Otherwise, the response is to successfully lose weight and look smokin' hot in front of her every time the opportunity arises. I find that people like that are often most pissed off by others success and happiness
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She thinks I "scammed" her on a raffle I did over 2 years ago. The issue is, we've seen each other since and she's never mentioned it before. She was mad that I wouldn't give her her $5 back. Other than that, I think she is just mentally unstable.My question is what led up to that level of hostility? There is definitely more to the story here...
Otherwise, the response is to successfully lose weight and look smokin' hot in front of her every time the opportunity arises. I find that people like that are often most pissed off by others success and happiness0 -
In my mind: HADOUKEN.
In reality: I'd be upset, super upset, and not say anything, but I wouldn't show that I was upset because I wouldn't give someone like that the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me. So I'd take that comment, stuff it down, and use it as motivation to work out and just be healthier so I could see that person again down the road and watch their stupid face drop at how awesome I look.
Then I'd laugh my formerly fat *kitten* off at them and strut away.0 -
You did the right thing. Those comments were meant to be hurtful and now you know exactly what type a person she is. Nothing good can come from responding to her issues. The great thing about it, you are on way to being healthier. Her true ugliness will never go away.0
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I personally wouldn't give her the satisfaction of a reply. There's no question it was intended to be a bitter and hurtful comment. I see you've lost 56 Lbs so far. My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. Don't let her negativity seep into your life. Nothing positive will come from trying to respond to something so intentionally cruel. Good luck with everything!
This. People lash out like that usually because they are unhappy and have their own personal issues. You are improving your life and setting a wonderful example for your children. As hard as it may be, sometimes we just have to ignore the naysayers and cruel people and keep on, keepin' on. I hope that you don't have to interact with this acquaintance on a regular basis!
But... I also like this response too:If you must respond, "I can lose weight. There isn't much help for your personality, though."0 -
Fishing... Fishing... Fishing0
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I would cut them out of my life. Especially if they are just an acquaintance. That's too much hostility and emotion to put up with from someone you really don't have much investment in to be obligated to put up with that kind of drama.0
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It's hard to say without knowing the original topic. But I suspect silence was a perfectly appropriate response.
If you children are old enough, use the event as an example of how not to speak to another person.
Oh, and I wouldn't be around that person again if I can at all help it.0 -
pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!
congrats on your weight loss
^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are
And keep up the great work!!! 0 -
Thanks everyone. I was just shocked. I haven't been called fat out of malice or spite since I was a teenager. I'm glad my back was to her, so she couldn't see the dumbfounded look on my face.0
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pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!
congrats on your weight loss
^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are And keep up the great work!!!
^^Absolutely.
Doesn't really matter what the background argument was, there is no excuse for her comment.
Be thankful that she has shown her true colors and keep this "friend" at a distance from now on. She obviously does not have your best interests at heart. People who treat others this way are typically unhappy in their own lives and thrive on throwing some of their misery at others. Sad really.0 -
I wouldn't. Comments like that don't deserve a response. If this is someone in your life by choice (friend, etc), cut them.
I immediately drop people who talk about me negatively like that. I don't have time to spend around children. There are a gazillion better ways she could have voiced her "concern" for you that didn't involve a personal attack.0 -
That's exactly what I told my son when he asked me why she was so mean. I told him that some people are just really unhappy and they take it out on other people. He then told me I'm not disgusting. Sweet little booger.pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!
congrats on your weight loss
^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are And keep up the great work!!!
^^Absolutely.
Doesn't really matter what the background argument was, there is no excuse for her comment.
Be thankful that she has shown her true colors and keep this "friend" at a distance from now on. She obviously does not have your best interests at heart. People who treat others this way are typically unhappy in their own lives and thrive on throwing some of their misery at others. Sad really.0 -
I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.
And also site down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.0 -
My kids and I have talks like this all the time. We have a pretty diversified group of friends, so they are aware of all kinds of differences (weight, race, sexual orientation, disabilities/abilities) and how those are not the things you "judge" a person on. They know that I am on a weight loss/get healthy mission and they roll their eyes at me when I tell them we're taking a walk after dinner...LOL.I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.
And also site down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.0 -
do not acknowledge her existence again0
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That's exactly what I told my son when he asked me why she was so mean. I told him that some people are just really unhappy and they take it out on other people. He then told me I'm not disgusting. Sweet little booger.pray for her to realize how cruel she really is. seems to me she has some issues she needs to deal with!
congrats on your weight loss
^^ THIS!!! Only folks with their own insecurities and issues would make a comment like she made to you. She has bigger problems and attempts to cover them up by trying to make others feel small. Don't let her negative comments rent any more space in your head. Move on knowing that you're the better, healthier person...because you absolutely are And keep up the great work!!!
^^Absolutely.
Doesn't really matter what the background argument was, there is no excuse for her comment.
Be thankful that she has shown her true colors and keep this "friend" at a distance from now on. She obviously does not have your best interests at heart. People who treat others this way are typically unhappy in their own lives and thrive on throwing some of their misery at others. Sad really.
Oh she even said this in front of your child (missed that part, sorry)? Well she's a gem, isn't she? :noway:0 -
My kids and I have talks like this all the time. We have a pretty diversified group of friends, so they are aware of all kinds of differences (weight, race, sexual orientation, disabilities/abilities) and how those are not the things you "judge" a person on. They know that I am on a weight loss/get healthy mission and they roll their eyes at me when I tell them we're taking a walk after dinner...LOL.I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.
And also sit down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.
Sounds like you are doing awesome then. :drinker:0 -
All of this because of a fiver? Ain't nobody got time for that....................0
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Cut contact with such a vicious person.
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I would not respond to her. She would no longer be an issue in my life, at all. My biggest priority would be to talk to my children about what had happened and make sure they understood the situation. Teachable moments are all around us with our children. Sometimes a lesson like that is an opportunity to teach about learning to deal with disagreements in a civil way and how to treat others.0
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do not acknowledge her existence again
Assuming making this person 'disappear' isn't an option. THIS.0 -
"Well **** you, too."
Seriously, cut her out of your life and move on.0 -
My kids and I have talks like this all the time. We have a pretty diversified group of friends, so they are aware of all kinds of differences (weight, race, sexual orientation, disabilities/abilities) and how those are not the things you "judge" a person on. They know that I am on a weight loss/get healthy mission and they roll their eyes at me when I tell them we're taking a walk after dinner...LOL.I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.
And also sit down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.
Sounds like you are doing awesome then. :drinker:
For real.
Person is probably unhappy with themselves and are jealous that you have the courage to do this! Ignore them. Cut them out. You don't need negativity.0 -
My kids and I have talks like this all the time. We have a pretty diversified group of friends, so they are aware of all kinds of differences (weight, race, sexual orientation, disabilities/abilities) and how those are not the things you "judge" a person on. They know that I am on a weight loss/get healthy mission and they roll their eyes at me when I tell them we're taking a walk after dinner...LOL.I'd probably cut off contact with her for the future.
And also site down with your children and talk about the power of insults and emphasize how important it is to be able to ignore such comments and realize that they are only a reflection on the person who says them and not on you or them. Tell them that being thin is not as important as being nice, caring and respectful to others and that that is what makes you a good person and not your weight. And *maybe* also address that you are aware that you are overweight and that this isn't the most healthy way to be and that you are actively trying to change that so that you can be a healthy mother for them.
I don't know you but I think I love you for the above comment alone. Let's be friends? :flowerforyou:0 -
im pretty sure i'd get a strike if i said what i would do in this situation0
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