Who is single and why do you think you’re single?

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Replies

  • canoekayak
    canoekayak Posts: 29
    “ I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If you’re not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person! “ - nicely put!

    and

    I have been married and divorced - that was miserable. I have Been lied to and cheated on. - that stinks too.

    So I’m single because I choose to be. There’s to much that I’m trying to accomplish in my life right now for a serious relationship. If she’s out there when the time is right as Amelia said =

    “ Amelia said! You don't need someone to complete you, but to enhance you! BEAUTIFUL!!! “

    - I dig that !!!
  • Pinoy_Pal
    Pinoy_Pal Posts: 280 Member
    ...single because it was lust, not love.
  • JaneZv
    JaneZv Posts: 200
    I think I haven't met the the right guy. Those around me are frat boys-ish type guys which is a turn off. Perhaps I'm in college or I may be mixing with the wrong crowd... I really don't know....... I prefer someone more mature, sophisticated and self-confident. Oh and polite and have manners... but those guys are usually married. :grumble:
  • MalTru
    MalTru Posts: 37
    I'm single, and have been for quite some time. I'm pretty sure it's because I'm insecure and shy, which means it's hard for people to get to know me, and because once they do get to know me, they realize that I'm weird- "clinically quirky" is my favorite phrase for describing myself (stolen from "The Middle"). I'm also incredibly not girlie- like posters before me, I'm not looking for someone to "complete me" or looking for a "soulmate." I'm much more practical when it comes to relationships and caring for other people, and so I sort of hold myself back when I am interested in a guy because I don't want to go too fast, but then end up going too slow and things just fizzle out before anything real gets started.
  • kbanzhaf
    kbanzhaf Posts: 601 Member
    I'm single as I was widowed 10 years ago at the age of 40. I have concentrated on raising my daughter, and now that she is in college, I'd be open to a relationship, but since I live in a very small town, the number of available men is pretty small.....and I really don't think I'm that picky. I am very apprehensive about trying online sites, though, and it's hard to meet new people in my area.

    I agree with all of the comments about getting yourself together before you can love someone else, and that you don't NEED someone to complete you.

    K
  • Pineapples
    Pineapples Posts: 246 Member
    I am single because part of me chooses to be single; commitment issues perhaps? not sure. The other part could be because the ONE hasn't found me yet. I figure if the ONE found me then I wouldn't have any commitment issues to begin with since being with that man would make it all worthy?

    At one point I used to feel miserable, but over the last year I've learned a lot about myself and learned to find happiness, peace and joy within the one source, ME. Living in the present, no more dwelling in the past or daydreaming about the future. Just happy with what I've been given at this precise moment. :wink:
  • CSausage
    CSausage Posts: 345
    I'm single because I want to be. I date and have alot of fun. No one seems worthy to commit to. I've been cheated on, lied to and stolen from so I want to make sure it is right. In the mean time, I'm having alot of fun with all the wrong ones :drinker:

    Yep...what she said!
  • portlandsundevil
    portlandsundevil Posts: 213 Member
    I'm single because I'm focusing on me!! And it feels great! I was in an on again, off again relationship for 5 years until last May. When the right guy comes around, I can honestly say I'll love me enough to love him :)
  • Tash_Bgosh
    Tash_Bgosh Posts: 46 Member
    thats an interesting question lol I'm single because I am a magnet for guys who do not want to be in relationships. This has been hapenning since college and now that I'm older im over the bull. So I guess I'm just waiting for a guy who is willing to give me what I want! I know my self worth and I'm waiting for someone who sees it as well :)

    Until then I'm a free agent lol
  • simplexserenity
    simplexserenity Posts: 116 Member
    This made me think a little, not gonna lie. 2010 was the first year I've been single since I was 16. The whole year I dated quite a bit, learned a lot about myself and MEN..and definitely more about what I'm NOT looking for versus what I am looking for. My weight loss makes it a little more difficult when dating because I have some sort of hatred for certain guys who used to pick on me or make me feel inadequate..now they want a piece? Nah uh, that's not how I roll :)

    Also..I want a career! Some guys just wanna get married already and I can't do that until I graduate and have a set career in mind. Priorities, baby.
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    I have been single since high school (almost 24 now) (yeh I had this thing with this guy for like 4 years....but we weren't technically dating, but you might as well say we were, but nonetheless) because, first and foremost, I have been immensely submerged into my education. I went to undergrad in SC, and I knew I didn't want to stay there after college, so I never started a relationship knowing I'd be moving. Now that I have been in DC for 2 years almost and I graduate with my Masters in May, I have become more open to a relationship because I have a steady job and living situation. I foresee myself being in the area for a few more years at least (because of my job only-let me make that clear...way too expensive to live here). Also, I am more willing to have a long distance relationship now because I find a thrill in knowing I don't have to put up with "him" all the time. It will be very planned and set in stone when we will see each other (which I like predictability). Likewise, I like to travel, so having a bf outside of DC would be nice. (I recently stopped talking to a guy in NC and another in Dallas that I met in Denver last year).

    So, with that being said, I am single BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE! :laugh: Oh...and I don't need drama. Leave the drama for momma. I don't have patience for it. So, I'd rather just not deal with men and be drama free! ahahaha :drinker:
  • zydratethief
    zydratethief Posts: 171
    im single

    Never been in a relationship ever, so i guess you dont miss what you never had..

    Having said that, i don't think there is much about me to like anyway :P - I mean I am absolutely weird myself out at times - for instance:

    I randomly laugh at things which aren't funny - like today i laughed at a "Disabled toilet" sign, because i was thinking how a toilet could be disabled ( a toilet for a moment being a living breathing thing...see i told you i was weird)

    Im a hopeless romantic - i randomly quote Shakespeare and Keats at the oddest of moments (them two being my favourites), Spontaneous to a fault, and last but not least, I like solitude - dunno why, but i can think of nothing better to do at times then just sit in a park, lying on the grass, reading a book or watching the clouds float by. Its wondrous, and removes somewhat the unbearable lightness of being..
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    I'm single!

    I'm currently in the middle of a divorce after a 6 year marriage and 4 years of dating (it would be 11 years in March). He cheated and to me there is no greater offence to a relationship than cheating and I very much adheare to the 'once a cheater, always a cheater' philosophy.

    I tend to be a bit nonsensical about things sometimes, lol. I openly talk politics and religion and I believe that this has something to do with my remaining single, lol. I'm also a bit different from most people I know as I do not fit a mainstream persona. I love Victoriana, metal music, classic novels, vegetarianism, and a few other off the wall things that do not go together in the slightest.
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
    I am single because I keep finding cheaters, and liars. I hope this year brings me a good man :grumble: PLUS after being in the recieving end of being S**t on I am doubting the existence of "love"...it doesnt seem possible at this point
  • mrniceguy84
    mrniceguy84 Posts: 25 Member
    I have been single for the last 5 years. I am single because I do not feel like anything is missing.. I am not defined by the fact that I have or do not have a significant other. I am not less lovable, less complete and my life less significant if I am single.

    I know it partially can be my weight but moreso confidence then anything...I have had many losers or head cases...I have only really loved one man and it didnt work due to his own indescretions...

    these days i look at like "you have to kiss alot of toads before you find your prince"... hes out there...for some it comes right away and for others...it takes a long time...
  • mrniceguy84
    mrniceguy84 Posts: 25 Member
    I have been single for the last 5 years. I am single because I do not feel like anything is missing.. I am not defined by the fact that I have or do not have a significant other. I am not less lovable, less complete and my life less significant if I am single.

    I know it partially can be my weight but moreso confidence then anything...I have had many losers or head cases...I have only really loved one man and it didnt work due to his own indescretions...

    these days i look at like "you have to kiss alot of toads before you find your prince"... hes out there...for some it comes right away and for others...it takes a long time...
  • mrniceguy84
    mrniceguy84 Posts: 25 Member
    I have been single for the last 5 years. I am single because I do not feel like anything is missing.. I am not defined by the fact that I have or do not have a significant other. I am not less lovable, less complete and my life less significant if I am single.

    I know it partially can be my weight but moreso confidence then anything...I have had many losers or head cases...I have only really loved one man and it didnt work due to his own indescretions...

    these days i look at like "you have to kiss alot of toads before you find your prince"... hes out there...for some it comes right away and for others...it takes a long time...
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    I can't seem to find someone who can keep up with me on more than one level. I can't be with someone who's afraid to be themselves in front of a crowd; a lot of people are just too shy. I like people who are reserved at times, but not all of the time.

    Half a year ago I broke up with a girl who fit me to a T, except that she was very messy and gave little thought to keeping up after herself. At times I'm angry at myself for having had thrown away what seems like a pretty good relationship—she was very sweet, intelligent, incredibly sexy—and I find myself wondering if I should have just manned up and dealt with her lack of cleanliness as a consequence of happiness.

    But I don't know. Perhaps I'm single until I can figure that much out :)
  • maricari
    maricari Posts: 133
    asexual or asocial?
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
    I have been single for the last 5 years. I am single because I do not feel like anything is missing.. I am not defined by the fact that I have or do not have a significant other. I am not less lovable, less complete and my life less significant if I am single.

    I know it partially can be my weight but moreso confidence then anything...I have had many losers or head cases...I have only really loved one man and it didnt work due to his own indescretions...

    these days i look at like "you have to kiss alot of toads before you find your prince"... hes out there...for some it comes right away and for others...it takes a long time...
    My best friend was single for a couple years before he met his mr. right. He also always tells me "I never saw it coming" he never expected the man he met in a bar would be his soulmate they are working on 7 years of true happiness
  • Pineapples
    Pineapples Posts: 246 Member
    im single

    Never been in a relationship ever, so i guess you dont miss what you never had..

    Having said that, i don't think there is much about me to like anyway :P - I mean I am absolutely weird myself out at times - for instance:

    I randomly laugh at things which aren't funny - like today i laughed at a "Disabled toilet" sign, because i was thinking how a toilet could be disabled ( a toilet for a moment being a living breathing thing...see i told you i was weird)

    Im a hopeless romantic - i randomly quote Shakespeare and Keats at the oddest of moments (them two being my favourites), Spontaneous to a fault, and last but not least, I like solitude - dunno why, but i can think of nothing better to do at times then just sit in a park, lying on the grass, reading a book or watching the clouds float by. Its wondrous, and removes somewhat the unbearable lightness of being..
    Whew thank goodness. I was starting to think i was alone in the world of weirdness lol
  • portlandsundevil
    portlandsundevil Posts: 213 Member
    ...sit in a park, lying on the grass, reading a book or watching the clouds float by. Its wondrous, and removes somewhat the unbearable lightness of being..

    Oh. Sounds so good right now.
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
    I'm single.

    So far, it is because I have chosen to be.

    The fact that most of my friends are married and the ladies all bring the tears to me. The fights, the suspicions, the stupid habbits, the mother-in-law issues, and even the breakups and divorces.... That might have a little something to do with my level of comfort in being single. LOL I take all of what I see to heart and keep it in mind when meeting new men. I'm grateful that I can be the last single one standing, as I can learn from their mistakes.

    From what I have seen:

    Mistake #1-- Being with someone because you are supposed to. (Like because of a child, or because you are just doing what everyone else your age is doing.)

    Mistake #2-- Looking for someone to take care of you.

    And the BIG ONE-- Because you don't know how to leave.

    I have learned that it's better to base relationships on mutual love and respect (it hurts the kids more to see their parents miserable), take full responsibility of your own life, and always stand up for yourself, regardless of your situation.

    And when the time is right, I will be ahead of the game:wink:
  • twinsmomma02
    twinsmomma02 Posts: 79 Member
    Wow, interesting topic that really made me think about my life...... After college, I was too miserable and too big to really consider dating anyone because I was so unhappy with myself after 4 years of eating pizza and drinking beer every night of the week. I went through a major weight loss after college graduation, managed to lose 50 pounds and then met the supposed man of my dreams. After a few years of chaos and lots of issues with the relationship which I should have ended a lot sooner, I found out I was pregnant with twins. I tried to make things work, but he wasn't there at all for me throughout a difficult pregnancy, and then when my girls were 6 months old, I finally realized that they were my life and more important to me then all the drama he was putting me through. Enough was enough, and I then kicked him to the curb. I have since spent the last 9 years, alone, raising my darling girls on my own and have had no time or even interest in dating anyone. I have yet to meet anyone that I would even consider bringing into my daughter's lives. I finally feel like I have seen the light and have successfully lost close to 40 pounds and have changed my life. I feel like for the first time in years, I am mentally ready to once again be in a relationship, if I were to meet the right person. It is not my priority though... If it happens, then good, if not, I am finally realizing that I am finally reaching a happy point in my life where I have so many other things that satisfy me!
  • ChshireKat
    ChshireKat Posts: 117
    im single

    Never been in a relationship ever, so i guess you dont miss what you never had..

    Having said that, i don't think there is much about me to like anyway :P - I mean I am absolutely weird myself out at times - for instance:

    I randomly laugh at things which aren't funny - like today i laughed at a "Disabled toilet" sign, because i was thinking how a toilet could be disabled ( a toilet for a moment being a living breathing thing...see i told you i was weird)

    Im a hopeless romantic - i randomly quote Shakespeare and Keats at the oddest of moments (them two being my favourites), Spontaneous to a fault, and last but not least, I like solitude - dunno why, but i can think of nothing better to do at times then just sit in a park, lying on the grass, reading a book or watching the clouds float by. Its wondrous, and removes somewhat the unbearable lightness of being..

    Dude, you are not weird, you are normal in our universe. I am like you most of the time, with out the quoting of keats,although I do quote movies, and books I have read.

    I am single because I never learned all the relationship/ social stuff that most people learned as a teenager. If I am noticed it is generaly because I am seen as an easy mark; I don't leave the wall becasue I freeze up when there are more then 10 people I don't know around me. I actually WANT to be in a relationship. I just need concrete instruction (a bullet point list) on how to go about getting a partner to have one.
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