Trends of brides wanting to lose weight
rosebette
Posts: 1,660 Member
OK, I'm an old broad, but I guess I don't understand the trend of women wanting to lose weight before a wedding or to get into a certain dress. When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body. No problem. Now, it seems women want to buy a smaller sized dress and diet to fit into it (which seems strange because those gowns are expensive and a big investment, thousands of dollars sometimes). Also, a wedding gown doesn't reveal that much -- it needs to be fitted usually in the upper body, but the skirts can hide quite a bit, so if a woman bought a dress to fit her upper body to begin with what's the big deal? And if she's "dieting" for the honeymoon bikini -- didn't this guy agree to marry her as she was, not only if she becomes this new perfect body? I'm all for eating and exercising for a healthy lifestyle, but it seems that this whole wedding pressure has become extreme. Or am I just an old fogy?
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agreed, weddings have just become a money grab. though i can understand wanting to shed a few pounds to look a little better on the day of, especially since wedding photos typically get hung up on a wall sooner or later0
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OK, I'm an old broad, but I guess I don't understand the trend of women wanting to lose weight before a wedding or to get into a certain dress. When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body. No problem. Now, it seems women want to buy a smaller sized dress and diet to fit into it (which seems strange because those gowns are expensive and a big investment, thousands of dollars sometimes). Also, a wedding gown doesn't reveal that much -- it needs to be fitted usually in the upper body, but the skirts can hide quite a bit, so if a woman bought a dress to fit her upper body to begin with what's the big deal? And if she's "dieting" for the honeymoon bikini -- didn't this guy agree to marry her as she was, not only if she becomes this new perfect body? I'm all for eating and exercising for a healthy lifestyle, but it seems that this whole wedding pressure has become extreme. Or am I just an old fogy?
I lost weight for my wedding... Though I had already started losing before I got proposed to... I am not sure what you find so offensive about wanting to look your best on your big day...?
Yes my husband proposed when I was bigger, yes he loves me regardless of size but surely he's even happier now he has a wife confident enough to wear a bikini all the time... Me being more confident means more naked time with him.... What wrong with that?!0 -
OP: I don't get it either. But IMO it seems a part of too much focus on The Wedding Day rather than the relationship you have after The Wedding Day, and celebrating what you have together Every Day. It also don't get that people think this is their one chance at something (looking perfect). It just leads to thoughts that if you fail (at looking perfect), you are a failure. Not a healthy attitude to take into a marriage IMO.
I didn't go for the whole meringue thing anyway, so maybe I'm not the best person to give their 5c. I couldn't understand spending the equivalent of a deposit on a car on an item of clothing I'd only wear once, so I didn't.0 -
Because the wedding day is all about the bride. It's the only day of her life (other than her funeral and she won't know it then) when all eyes are on her. It's supposedly a once in a lifetime experience (yeah, right.) It's perfectly normal that she wants to look her absolute best on that day.0
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I don't find it offensive that one wants to look one's best; it just seems there is more pressure on brides these days to look perfect. I have to admit my gown was a Gunny Sax (remember those) Victorian style that I bought off the rack -- so I was at the outer edge of the hippie generation. However, now there is also this trend of women buying smaller dresses and then dieting to fit into them, which I find incomprehensible. These gowns are so expensive. If you're a size 8 or 10, buy a size 8 or a 10, don't buy a 4 and then crash diet to get into it.0
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I dieted. I would prefer to have wedding photos laying around that I feel and look my best in. They will be around forever.0
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This has been going on at least since the 60s. Brides wanting to look good on their wedding day is not a new phenomenon, really.0
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OK, I'm an old broad, but I guess I don't understand the trend of women wanting to lose weight before a wedding or to get into a certain dress. When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body. No problem. Now, it seems women want to buy a smaller sized dress and diet to fit into it (which seems strange because those gowns are expensive and a big investment, thousands of dollars sometimes). Also, a wedding gown doesn't reveal that much -- it needs to be fitted usually in the upper body, but the skirts can hide quite a bit, so if a woman bought a dress to fit her upper body to begin with what's the big deal? And if she's "dieting" for the honeymoon bikini -- didn't this guy agree to marry her as she was, not only if she becomes this new perfect body? I'm all for eating and exercising for a healthy lifestyle, but it seems that this whole wedding pressure has become extreme. Or am I just an old fogy?
Weddings aren't about looking good for your soon-to-be-spouse. They're about how you present yourself to everyone else (think Facebook).
Also, because the "skirts can hide quite a bit," are you trying to imply that weight loss wouldn't be noticeable? I don't even know how to respond to that assertion (although this may have some validity with the very obese, I guess).
If weddings were different when you were younger, then yes, that would qualify you as an "old fogy."0 -
Lol. One of my older friends has been married five times. I asked her out of genuine curiosity if, after the third wedding announcement people started saying "AGAIN?!!!"Because the wedding day is all about the bride. It's the only day of her life (other than her funeral and she won't know it then) when all eyes are on her. It's supposedly a once in a lifetime experience (yeah, right.) It's perfectly normal that she wants to look her absolute best on that day.0 -
I'm not married and though I would like to be married one day the thought of a wedding is just awful to me, so maybe I'm not qualified to answer.
But I can understand wanting to lsoe weight for a dress because wedding dresses are expensive, especially if they're plus sized. Then again, people dropping money on weddings probably don't care about an extra few hundred on a dress. I think it just stems from wanting to look your best. And yes, there's societal pressure to look a certain way, but. I dunno. I have a hard time relating to that train of thought.0 -
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Pictures and videos will last long after you are gone. They want to look as good as they can.
I can't stand the practice, because I just think you should always strive to be your best at all times. Saying that doesn't mean I'm perfect, but it does mean I strive to do my best. Temporarily shedding for the weeding just makes my blood boil because it's so unnecessary. If you just very easily eat normally all the time, you will never have to shed anything, maybe just hit the weight room a little harder or something.
2 years later my wedding dress still fits!0 -
I'm pretty sure it's because more fat people are getting married.0
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When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body.
The key being, you were a normal weight for your size. A lot of women today just aren't, or THINK they aren't.
30+ years ago, did you have the same kinds of ads that exist today? Did you have self-esteem issues? Did you place your appearance above all the rest of your attributes? A lot of women do today, unfortunately. The "perfect" wedding.
The reality shows don't help.0 -
When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body.
The key being, you were a normal weight for your size. A lot of women today just aren't, or THINK they aren't.
30+ years ago, did you have the same kinds of ads that exist today? Did you have self-esteem issues? Did you place your appearance above all the rest of your attributes? A lot of women do today, unfortunately. The "perfect" wedding.
The reality shows don't help.
"Appearance above all the rest of your attributes?" Oh, so they're mutually exclusive? One couldn't possibly not be overweight, and still have those other "attributes," right? The horror.
Not wanting to be fat doesn't necessarily mean you have self-esteem issues. It might just mean you don't want to be fat.
And those ads that exist? I think you're confused about the causation. Thin people are in ads because most people want to be thin, not the other way around.0 -
When I got married (30+ years ago), I was a normal weight for my size, and I just bought a dress that fit my body.
The key being, you were a normal weight for your size. A lot of women today just aren't, or THINK they aren't.
30+ years ago, did you have the same kinds of ads that exist today? Did you have self-esteem issues? Did you place your appearance above all the rest of your attributes? A lot of women do today, unfortunately. The "perfect" wedding.
The reality shows don't help.
What's bolded were my thoughts exactly. OP, if you had been overweight when you were proposed to, would you have tried to lose some of it before your wedding?0 -
Correct me if I'm wrong OP, but I think she is more talking about brides buying dresses that are too small in order to lose weight to fit into them.0
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I've been married twice now (first one was a disaster and I was too young): first wedding dress was a size 4 and second was a size 14. I looked much better in the size 4, and was able to get the dress I wanted. The size 14 dress was pretty, but the one I wanted didn't fit on my body properly. Plus, arm flab and spilling out of the top.
My comparison dresses:
I didn't diet, but I can understand why women want to. Usually there are tons of pictures/videos, and the focus is on you. So of course you want to look your best. Plus my size 4 dress was much cheaper than the size 14, and didn't require as much alteration.
I was much happier during the second round, but I do prefer how I looked in the first. We'll probably just do a vow renewal in a few years and I'll get to choose a dress I love for that! :drinker:0 -
You aren't alone in finding it weird. I do, too.
I guess I just don't get the urgency and strong need to lose weight for the wedding or bridal gown. I guess I'm just not "that kind of woman" and have never been. I've been married twice and made efforts to look nice on both occasions, but I guess to me if you're a certain size during the dating period and engagement I don't feel there is an unwritten rule that you need to be X number of sizes smaller on the BIG DAY.
I do understand much of the logic people are giving in the responses here, about photos highlighting unwanted pounds and photos being around for future generations and all of that jazz. I think it's fine if women want to do that. For me personally there just was never a connection, when I lost a lot of weight it was not related to one event.
Honestly to me the strangest thing (which I have seen a LOT) is when a woman is (for example) a size 14 and then gets into a size 6 or 8 for her wedding day, and then goes back to a size 14 within a year or two...either just from going back to regular eating habits, or a first child, or whatever reason. I think it would be depressing to look at my way smaller self in those wedding photos in that case! I guess maybe that particular view on it's unusual but I just don't get it.0 -
We are seen and judged by other people every day of our lives, & of course judge ourselves. I understand that a wedding is special- I'm a bit of a tomboy style gal and I certainly enjoyed dressing as a princess for a day. What seems odd to me is that for that one single day (and yes photos/videos, but its not like you have to show them to every person you see every time you see them) women are willing to crash diet for months to achieve that one magical look to fit that one magical dress in the size they think appropriate that will make everything perfect. I feel it says sad things about our society that pressure for that one day somehow outweighs the desire to be happy with how you look and feel EVERY day. We all have motivators that started us on our weight-loss/fitness journeys, but this doesn't seem to be a healthy motivator. We are willing to diet for a special photo, but not for ourselves for the rest of our lives or our significant other even? /Shrug.0
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I've been married 22 years, and I am the same way. I tried on a dress that I loved, but it was too small. so I bought different dress in my size. it never even crossed my mind to lose weight for my wedding. LOL we spent a total of about $3000 (or less) on our entire wedding, including all food, dress, flowers (which I had won in a contest) venue, etc. I hope my daughter doesn't expect a big extravagant wedding such as I see today. I don't understand it. and the losing weight? wow I've seen some stories where women are being fed through tubes in their nose, or having their jaws wired shut. marriage preparations now are about THE DAY, not the lifetime ahead. sad.0
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OMG I've been biting my tongue when I see these "Dress diet hysteria" posts.
Thank you for your post. And really, you slim down for your dress and for what, to gain it all back, usually. Why add more stress to what is supposed to be a great day, not a chore or a job or a field trip?
Good post.0 -
Agreed, that's what I read, too. There's nothing wrong with trying to look your best, particularly with all the pictures involved, but I believe you should keep it up and not prove yourself to be a fraud.Correct me if I'm wrong OP, but I think she is more talking about brides buying dresses that are too small in order to lose weight to fit into them.0 -
In fairness every woman I know who got engaged gets asked by most people if she's going to go on a diet or how much weight she need to lose. There is enourmous external pressure.
A work friend used WW to go from a 12ish to a 4/6 and close to 8 years later she still looks good (she may be a size smaller). She used the wedding as an incentive but has really stuck with it.0 -
I've been married twice now (first one was a disaster and I was too young): first wedding dress was a size 4 and second was a size 14. I looked much better in the size 4, and was able to get the dress I wanted. The size 14 dress was pretty, but the one I wanted didn't fit on my body properly. Plus, arm flab and spilling out of the top.
My comparison dresses:
I didn't diet, but I can understand why women want to. Usually there are tons of pictures/videos, and the focus is on you. So of course you want to look your best. Plus my size 4 dress was much cheaper than the size 14, and didn't require as much alteration.
I was much happier during the second round, but I do prefer how I looked in the first. We'll probably just do a vow renewal in a few years and I'll get to choose a dress I love for that! :drinker:
You look beautiful thick too. I can't decide which pic I like better.0 -
I've been married twice now (first one was a disaster and I was too young): first wedding dress was a size 4 and second was a size 14. I looked much better in the size 4, and was able to get the dress I wanted. The size 14 dress was pretty, but the one I wanted didn't fit on my body properly. Plus, arm flab and spilling out of the top.
My comparison dresses:
I didn't diet, but I can understand why women want to. Usually there are tons of pictures/videos, and the focus is on you. So of course you want to look your best. Plus my size 4 dress was much cheaper than the size 14, and didn't require as much alteration.
I was much happier during the second round, but I do prefer how I looked in the first. We'll probably just do a vow renewal in a few years and I'll get to choose a dress I love for that! :drinker:
You look beautiful thick too. I can't decide which pic I like better.
I agree! Although I think the second pic is better, honestly. Not a body judgment because she looks great both ways but because of the now severely dated dress in pic 1 and more confident, happy looking body posture in pic 20 -
Im losing weight for my wedding, but I was already trying to lose weight anyway. I was 135 when my fiance and I met (I was a little too slim for my build and I was still in an eating disordered pattern). I was 145 and toned when I found out I was pregnant Nov 2012. I gained 50lbs pregnant, and after the immediate weight of baby and everything else after birth I was still 175. I'm roughly 150 now and would like to keep toning and maybe lose another 5-7lbs before my wedding in 7 months.
I know my fiance loves me at any weight and no matter what, but I want to look my best that day because it's the one day that I can feel like a princess, and because I plan on spending a child-free week on the beach of Jamaica in a bikini working on baby #2
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I dont see anything wrong with wanting to look your best on your wedding day. Hell, I am hoping to be down 60lbs by my friends wedding (not that it's my reason for losing weight) so I dont have to hide from the camera all evening like I did at the last wedding I went to lol0
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When I bought my dress I was a size 6, when it finally arrived, and it was time for alterations - I had gained quite a bit of weight. Thankfully it was a corset and they were able to add a bit of material, but you can bet that I was in a hurry to drop a few pounds so that I could fit properly into the dress that I had already bought.
Also - I am MUCH larger now, and I enjoy looking back on wedding photos - getting back to my former self inspires me.0 -
Wowza as someone who posted a thread about this I feel like I'm being "subposted" if that's a thing?
We are all on here trying to lose weight. What is your motivation? To live a healthy life? To look great for your spouse? Yourself? To fit into better clothes? If I'm going to spend more than $100 on a dress- I better get my bang for my buck.... my *kitten* being the bang.
I've been losing weight for the past year just to get to the best "me" possible. I've come a long way but would love to lose an additional 10 lbs before the wedding, or turn some of the skinny fat into muscle.
Brides wanting to lose weight is not a "trend" as much as wanting to lose weight is a trend.... If brides want to connect on here to make friends in similar stages of their life- why judge? No different then how moms often want to join groups or talk, or people of similar pounds to go.
Obvious bias here but to each their own? If i'm PAYING someone to take pictures of me... might as well feel confident.0
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