Seriously...HOW???
PMA140
Posts: 60
How do you do this every day?
Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?
I can do it for a week. Sometimes I can do it for a month. But I've never been able to continue for longer than that without putting the weight back on.
I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.
Do I have some kind of hormone problem that makes me incapable of dealing with stress? I don't think so, in fact I think I'm pretty normal. So how the heck do I make myself keep going when I'm having a bad day or I'm on my period or I just don't feel like it?
I'm fairly intelligent. I understand the mechanics of losing weight. Am I just lazy?
HOW????
How can I stay on track for more than a week at a time? How can I fit it into my life so I don't feel like I am taking away from my family?
I can see the responses now telling me "you're not a special snowflake, just do it"
Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?
I can do it for a week. Sometimes I can do it for a month. But I've never been able to continue for longer than that without putting the weight back on.
I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.
Do I have some kind of hormone problem that makes me incapable of dealing with stress? I don't think so, in fact I think I'm pretty normal. So how the heck do I make myself keep going when I'm having a bad day or I'm on my period or I just don't feel like it?
I'm fairly intelligent. I understand the mechanics of losing weight. Am I just lazy?
HOW????
How can I stay on track for more than a week at a time? How can I fit it into my life so I don't feel like I am taking away from my family?
I can see the responses now telling me "you're not a special snowflake, just do it"
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Replies
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I've been at a low weight for years now but about 8 years ago I had about 30 pounds to lose. For me it really is a matter of breaking bad habits and developing new ones. Honestly I have been sober for about 15 years but the changes that I have made with food were and continue to be much much harder than letting go of substances. The first 6 months I worked out everyday and only lost 4 pounds. Then I realized that I couldn't keep finishing the kids fries...or ice cream.....or think it would be fine to sit down with the Halloween candy. It was a really long journey for me and yes it was really hard. I think it does depend how much you want it and how important it is to you - versus other things that might get put to the side in the meantime. Also I personally have had issues with food addictions/eating disorders which complicate losing weight - support groups make dealing with all of it a lot easier. Maybe relax your goals and start very small.....and see where that leads you?
Good luck.0 -
The "how" is going to be different for everyone, I expect, but the biggest thing is probably outlook: this isn't a temporary fix, it is a set of new habits. You get into the habit of cooking for yourself, making good and tasty foods and enjoying them. You get into the habit of doing exercise (whether it is a walk, going to the gym, taking a class or playing a sport). You make a habit of serving normal-sized portions and only eating a reasonable amount (normal portions only work if you don't go back for seconds all the time!).
I love having family over for celebrations (which ALWAYS include meals). My parents (morbidly obese) complain gently pretty much every time about the portion sizes. I'm ready to serve them seconds if they want them, but I'm not going to serve myself again...I don't need it. Also, if I've prepared the food well, and have made a good mix of foods, I'm no longer hungry after I've eaten what I served myself. It has become a habit. I have also made a habit of having some desserts I enjoy available (squares, cake, cookies, dark chocolate, whatever), already in appropriate portion sizes and in the freezer so I can have something sweet (I enjoy baking and enjoy eating baked goods), whenever I want - which is now when I know I can fit it into meal planning for the day. It is a habit.
I don't know if this is of any help to you, but try to think of it as forming new habits. You don't have to do everything at once, pick one new habit and work on that (say, portion control). When it starts to feel more natural, pick another one (modest exercise). No one here wants to obsess about weight, counting calories, daily exercise...or very few anyway...most are looking to create better, more healthy habits for themselves.0 -
Mine was just getting fed up with being big and uncomfortable. I plan out my meals, my work outs, track every day, allow a cheat meal every friday, take lots of pictures for motivation. I think you just have to get to the point where you truly want the change!0
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You just do it. If you want it bad enough you make it happen.0
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A good first step is to acknowledge that excuses are counterproductive.0
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Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?
Well, you eat every day no matter what, right? So how much extra time does it take to eat a little less and write it down?
As for exercise, one hour is 4% of your entire day.
I do plenty of other things and this is not the most important part of my life. It's just a part of my life. And since the PEOPLE in my life are very important and a lot of them are also trying to get or stay in shape, we often go for walks or runs together, so I get friend time (and sometimes SO time, too) right along with that exercise. Beats sitting on the couch staring at the TV together.0 -
I've lost all of my weight by eating the same things I always have, just less of them. For me, portion control and physical activity are the keys to fat loss. I found a workout I love (P90X), I walk 3 miles with my dog every day, and I don't make a pig of myself. Two slices of pizza taste just as good as five.0
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Make it a habit. The more habit it becomes, the less time and effort it takes to track.0
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The same way I brush my teeth or take a shower every day. It's just a daily habit, and I know that if I don't do them, there are consequences to be had. Are those consequences worth skipping to you?0
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The "how" is going to be different for everyone, I expect, but the biggest thing is probably outlook: this isn't a temporary fix, it is a set of new habits. You get into the habit of cooking for yourself, making good and tasty foods and enjoying them. You get into the habit of doing exercise (whether it is a walk, going to the gym, taking a class or playing a sport). You make a habit of serving normal-sized portions and only eating a reasonable amount (normal portions only work if you don't go back for seconds all the time!).
I agree with the above.
I also think - for me - it's best viewed as a long term and/or permanent thing that I'm doing. Not "I will maybe sort of try this logging my food and eating healthy and exercising stuff for awhile" but "I am going to log all of my intake from now on to control my weight". I committed to it with no plans of losing 89+ lb, but just the idea that I could possibly get down to my previous low adult weight over a long period of time by changing my habits and keeping track of my food intake. I don't cut anything out entirely, I just change the way I do things.
OP, this may not apply to you at all, but I have seen a lot of people on these forums who get discouraged because they don't lose a lot of weight quickly. I try to think of it like "I'm 210 lb and in a year I want to be below 199 lb" rather than "I need to lose 30 lb by summer for swimsuit season".
In the past I viewed "eating healthy" in a very black/white way and felt that one splurge kind of negated all my progress. That is not helpful at all. If you eat ten Oreos and a mug of milk, log it and move on. Have fish & veggies for dinner the next 2 days. It all works out.0 -
Thanks! Those are sweet and positive answers. Honestly, I just feel like I'm whining. I know I'm the only one who can figure it out but I've tried so many times and never gotten it right. I am so frustrated and feel like a failure. I like to have control over things and this keeps getting away from me.
Maybe I need a psychiatrist or something.
My goal is only set to 20 pounds but ultimately I'd like to lose somewhere between 40-50 for my ideal weight.0 -
I've been doing it consistently for 7 years ...... lost 40+ pounds & kept it off ...... it becomes second nature .....
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO WANT IT !!!!0 -
You just do it. If you want it bad enough you make it happen.
This. Exactly.
I wanted it so badly, I made time. I made myself do it. And it's paid off.0 -
^You just do it. If you want it bad enough you make it happen.0 -
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The same way I brush my teeth or take a shower every day. It's just a daily habit, and I know that if I don't do them, there are consequences to be had. Are those consequences worth skipping to you?
This^0 -
Honestly, you create a new routine, and until you have one, yes you kind of let it take over your life. They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so learn to do things gradually. Don't come in with a perspective like I'm going to lose 15lbs this month, because when you don't you'll be crushed.
Come in with an attitude like: I'd really like to be more active, maybe I should start getting up half an hour earlier and heading out for a walk, get some "me time". And eventually once that's in your schedule you might be thinking, you know, walking's great, but what if I started doing a walk run combo to get the most out of my time?
Don't think you have to be restrictive with your diet, eat the things you love, but learn moderation. Want to have that piece of cake? That's fine, just make sure it fits your calories (and ideally your macros too).
It's a marathon, not a sprint. You can't view it like this is something I'm going to do for the next 6 months until I'm where I want to be, you have to make gradual changes that are sustainable in your lifestyle.
For example, there are lots of people who work out 6 days a week, I average 3-4 because I know that for my lifestyle that's realistic long term; sure I could do 6 workouts a week right now (I've got the time), but then I feel like this starts to completely take over my life. You have to find the balance for you.
Good luck!0 -
Part of the problem may be that you think there are foods you "can't" eat. This simply isn't true. You can eat whatever you like, just watch your portion size and find a way to make it fit into your daily calories.
You also may be having too high of expectations. With about 20 pounds to lose (per your ticker), it's going to be a slow and steady progress. 1/2 a pound per week might be the most realistic expectation. 1 pound might be ok, but even that could be too high. It can be much easier mentally if you have a lower goal because you have more calories and won't feel like you have to live off of salads and diet products. Eating real food makes this so much easier.
Are you getting tired of exercise too? Could be the same thing - maybe you're pushing to hard. Find things you really enjoy doing and just plan on doing 30 minutes, 4 or 5 days a week. That's really not much of a time commitment in the grand scheme of things.
IMHO, a slow steady loss is much better than the extremes so many of us put ourselves through. Make healthy choices, make small realistic goals, give yourself time and patience to get used to the new lifestyle and it will happen.
I've been at this for about 4 1/2 years now and I'm still not quite to goal but I'll tell you one thing - I am so much healthier and fit than I was. I'll still get to goal but if it takes another 2 or 3 years, so be it. I'd rather be happy and live my life than stress out over calories all the time.
Good luck! Deep breaths!
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When you are ready....you'll do it.0
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"There is no month, year, rest of your life.. there is only today, this moment, I am doing fine."
That's what I keep telling myself when I get the panic attacks about how can I keep this up forever. So far it seems to be working, but I am at a relatively low stress point in my life. I hope the mantra still works when stress does come up!0 -
yea this. it may have been a little tough to get into it at first but i dont even think about it anymore, its natural. the pros outweigh the cons one hundredfoldThe same way I brush my teeth or take a shower every day. It's just a daily habit, and I know that if I don't do them, there are consequences to be had. Are those consequences worth skipping to you?0 -
BABY STEPS!!! Make small consistent changes and watch it add up. I didn't start this process walking 2-3 miles a day....I didn't start by cutting massive calories immediately to get instant results...I just focused on what I needed to do....For me it was finding a way to get my newly diagnosed Diabetes under control. I had a reason to make it work, just had to put in the work to do so. Everyone is different and everyone needs to customize the process. I just started by taking a walk at lunch for 20 minutes and barely could get a mile in....I ate more veggies and less red meat....I kept focus on avoiding the things that got me to where I didn't want to be.
You will get there if you really desire it! So you have to ask yourself - HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT IT?!?!0 -
Making something a part of your daily routine does not necessitate that it be the most important part of your life. I make coffee every morning- doesn't mean that I worship the Keurig. (Okay, maybe a little...)
Eating healthy doesn't take anymore time than eating crap. It's just a choice you make. Like anything else, when it becomes routine, it's easy. Especially if you give up the negativity and excuses- it's amazing what a time suck those are.
And the best thing for stress in exercise. If it wasn't for my treadmill, I would spend a portion of every day throwing small objects at my husband's head.0 -
Maybe try involving your family in some of the workouts. Go for a walk, hike, bike ride, etc.0
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It took me a looong time to really get into the habit of tracking my food with this app. I joined back in 2012! And I would do a week here and there and never really keep up with it. Honestly, what really hooked me into keeping up with this is how well it syncs with my fitbit device. I feel like I'm getting a more accurate estimate of how many calories I take in and burn with both of these apps. I've been doing this for almost 3 months now, and it still a slow process, but I've lost a few pounds (for the first time ever!) Changing bad eating habits instilled in us from our childhoods is not an easy feat. But I'm on track! And I think you can do it too!
Recommendations:
Invest in a Fitbit or some other activity tracker (jawbone's good too)
Friend people on here and on your activity tracker's app. Get into a competitive mindset and get moving!
Think of your calories like money (i.e. I can't afford to eat that cookie today, but I'll get a walk in tomorrow and eat one then)
Don't be so rigorous 100%, but don't low ball your estimates. What threw me off was having to record every ingredient. I did this when I started out (b/c I really didn't realize how much I actually ate), but now that I've gotten into the habit monitoring what I eat, I just search for the nearest thing already in the database.
A food scale is a necessity.
Just my thoughts. Stay positive!0 -
Someone once told me you should treat managing your health like a part time job. For some reason, thinking of it that way works for me. In the end, I get paid in energy, better health, and weight loss. It does become second nature after a while, and a worthwhile time investment.0
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How do you do this every day?
Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?
I can do it for a week. Sometimes I can do it for a month. But I've never been able to continue for longer than that without putting the weight back on.
I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.
Do I have some kind of hormone problem that makes me incapable of dealing with stress? I don't think so, in fact I think I'm pretty normal. So how the heck do I make myself keep going when I'm having a bad day or I'm on my period or I just don't feel like it?
I'm fairly intelligent. I understand the mechanics of losing weight. Am I just lazy?
HOW????
How can I stay on track for more than a week at a time? How can I fit it into my life so I don't feel like I am taking away from my family?
I can see the responses now telling me "you're not a special snowflake, just do it"
Hmm...
For me it is just part of my life....
It is habitual at this point....
It is easy for things to work into your life and be part of your life, it is first a priority....
Kinda like children....until you have them, you don't concern yourself with them....so you go out and do as you wish, when you wish.
But when you have kids, they are important....so they become a priority and become part of daily life.
You begin to find out what works and how things fit, and it becomes 2nd nature.
Eating and exercising is gonna be no different..
Exercise is optional, and has to be important in order for you to want to take it serious.
Eating however is not optional, you have to do that....
what becomes optional is whether you eat right or not.....
So you can either take a bit to plan out and make it work...or not.
Like I try to prep food a few days ahead....then at night when I sit in bed, I try to fill out most if not all of my diary for the next day.
So if you look now, you will see my diary is filled out for today....I did that before I went to bed last night.
So today I don't think twice about it.....0 -
My secret:
I have a lot of really fun people on my friend list. They are truly entertaining. I show up just to see what they will do or say next. Then, I just log my food while I'm here.
I'm at 1,167 days in a row logged.
You have a pretty small friend list. Perhaps, if you expanded it, you would enjoy the site more, and logging in would just be an after-thought once you have perused your newsfeed.0 -
For me it is a matter of challenging myself on a weekly basis. At one point I discovered my body is capable of doing things I only thought people with good genetics or those who started training since they were kids could do. It takes reprogramming of the brain by repetition and acceptance. Your brain is programmed by many years of not caring and not paying attention to do whatever you get pleasure from doing. Eating whatever you want, not being physically active, etc. For most people it will take a long time to change this habits and reprogram your brain to not care for that anymore and enjoy what now you're questioning and wondering how can it be done.
Because fitness is something that doesn't happen overnight and it takes a lot of patience, you have to learn and look for ways to make this process a more enjoyable one. I'm not saying to not push yourself hard when working out and instead go walking on a treadmill at 2 mph for 1 hour. You will have to work hard if you want to see changes. What I'm saying is, focus on what you want to achieve, create weekly goals, whether it is to lose a reasonable amount of weight, increase weight on a certain exercise, do one more rep or set, burn more calories, things like that. That will keep you motivated to look forward to next week and do your best this one. And about eating, my best advice is, tweak your macros weekly not by a lot but instead with small changes so you can find what works best for you. Eat high in fiber and protein since those help you stay full longer instead of feeling hungry ever 30 minutes. Keep a healthy balance of macros. Go online, look up for different ways to figure out what could work for you (I don't like the way MFP distributes macros ratios), and you will find yourself starting to enjoy this process, especially as you start seeing changes in your body and great results.0 -
I've been at a low weight for years now but about 8 years ago I had about 30 pounds to lose. For me it really is a matter of breaking bad habits and developing new ones. Honestly I have been sober for about 15 years but the changes that I have made with food were and continue to be much much harder than letting go of substances. The first 6 months I worked out everyday and only lost 4 pounds. Then I realized that I couldn't keep finishing the kids fries...or ice cream.....or think it would be fine to sit down with the Halloween candy. It was a really long journey for me and yes it was really hard. I think it does depend how much you want it and how important it is to you - versus other things that might get put to the side in the meantime. Also I personally have had issues with food addictions/eating disorders which complicate losing weight - support groups make dealing with all of it a lot easier. Maybe relax your goals and start very small.....and see where that leads you?
Good luck.
This is a good post!
OP - when you're staring something down that seems overwhelming, just break it down into manageable bits. As the poster I've quoted has stated, focus on breaking one bad habit. Once you feel that you've been successful making that one small change, you'll have broken that feeling of powerlessness and you'll start looking for other things you can change.
It's amazing, but the little changes can make the biggest difference.
Good luck!0
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