HELP! I need some support Feeling depressed

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kbean33
kbean33 Posts: 50
in Motivation and Support
Hello, I am a lesbian female that wants to be in an intimate relationship, but I have many insecurities. Since joining MFP I have lost 50lbs. I have 30 more pounds to go. My isuues are that I have horrible stretch marks ALL over my body(breasts, stomach, pubic area, hips, back, inner and outer thighs, and on my legs). I also have saggy boobs, a hanging stomach, and fat thighs with cellulite. The other issue is my hair. I have bad dark facial hair on my lip, chin neck, and sides of my face. I have to shave my chin and neck every morning, and have black stubble by the end of the day (5'oclock shadow). I also have dark hair on my stomach, lower back and butt. I have been loosing focus on my weight loss lately because I see no point with all of these defects. I have worked very hard to get where I am today and I do not want to lose site. I also want to find love, but I feel like I will not be able to be intimate with anyone. Please help!

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  • nisharoseapple
    nisharoseapple Posts: 14 Member
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    I was teased horribly as a child/tween and the insecurities I developed carried on well into adulthood. I eventually came to the realization that there's no escaping me, so I'd have to learn to love and live with myself. It's hard, but it is possible. It sounds like you need some kbean33 love. Now, there are some things you can do to improve yourself (your perception of improvement): look into getting laser hair removal on your face if you are really uncomfortable with it (you can find good deals on this on Groupon), or you can bite the bullet, let it grow out and get it waxed; in terms of your body, you could begin to lift weights (or lift heavier if you already do). This will help you tone up. As far as the stretch marks....well...those are more than likely there to stay. I have stretch marks to from pregnancy and instead of hating them, I just think of them as my tiger strips. You can add me as a friend and we can encourage each other. Keep your head up!
  • Barbellarella_
    Barbellarella_ Posts: 454 Member
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    First of all, it sound alike you might be dealing with some hormonal issues, I highly suggest seeing a Dr. and discuss your excess hair issues. There might be some testing you need done.

    And secondly, I challenge you to make a list similar to the one you just did, but highlight your qualities instead of your flaws. I think you need a change of perception more than anything.


    edited because I am the typo queen
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
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    Sounds to me like you have a really negative view of yourself. Having suffered from body dysmorphia in the past, I know what it feels like to hate how you look, even when you look great to everyone else. Changing your view of the world from harsh and judging to happy and accepting is something you CHOOSE to do.

    If you truly have dark facial hair, you can get it treated with lasers. But I suspect you have some issues that are more about how you look at the world and yourself.

    I would seek the help of a therapist trained in ED/body issues. Good luck!
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    First of all, it sound alike you might be dealing with some hormonal issues, I highly suggest seeing a Dr. and discuss your excess hair issues. There might be some testing you need done.

    Agree
  • BrownEyedSister
    BrownEyedSister Posts: 74 Member
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    Hello, I am a lesbian female that wants to be in an intimate relationship, but I have many insecurities. Since joining MFP I have lost 50lbs. I have 30 more pounds to go. My isuues are that I have horrible stretch marks ALL over my body(breasts, stomach, pubic area, hips, back, inner and outer thighs, and on my legs). I also have saggy boobs, a hanging stomach, and fat thighs with cellulite. The other issue is my hair. I have bad dark facial hair on my lip, chin neck, and sides of my face. I have to shave my chin and neck every morning, and have black stubble by the end of the day (5'oclock shadow). I also have dark hair on my stomach, lower back and butt. I have been loosing focus on my weight loss lately because I see no point with all of these defects. I have worked very hard to get where I am today and I do not want to lose site. I also want to find love, but I feel like I will not be able to be intimate with anyone. Please help!

    Hi. Learning to love ourselves is often the toughest job in the world. I think learning to be comfortable in your own skin is the first place to start.

    That means eating right, continuing your exercise program and working toward your goals. Even if today is a loss tomorrow is a new day!

    Plus, I think you're being pretty hard on yourself. The woman I see in your photo is lovely.

    I've done laser therapy and while it isn't cheap, it is worth it. It works especially well if your hair is dark. I'd start with your face and see what you think.

    I have some self-help steps that can bring your energy into alignment with where you want to be. If you're interested, friend me.

    BrownEyes
  • fitchickarw
    fitchickarw Posts: 11 Member
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    Number one . . . Congratulations on your weight loss.

    It sounds as though you may have EPOC - which is completely treatable - and may explain the excessive hair growth. There are a lot of hair removal options on the market (other than shaving) that will help you with that - until you get your hormones in alignment. :)

    There are now supplements that can help with the elasticity, thickness, and texture of your hair and skin. It's a matter of doing your research and selecting the ones that fit your needs best. Look at http://Transformation-U.com and click on the nutritional supplement page.

    Regarding "finding love" ... you will not find love until you have it within you. How can you expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself? You were born to this world with a purpose and are loved greatly, so do what brings you joy. When you focus on serving others, finding your faith, and being your best you, love will find YOU. <3
  • slomo22
    slomo22 Posts: 125 Member
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    You are suffering from a condition that the medical community refers to as womanhood. 9/10 women suffer from womanhood. People who have this condition obsess over details of their body and compare themselves to supermodel standards set by society. The best way to get over this condition is to realize that nobody is obsessing over every detail of your body like you are. People are not focusing on your imperfections and do not share your view of yourself.

    Seriously you look fine in your picture. I thought you would be a monster from your description of yourself. O and if you’re harry…just wax it off.
  • Kate7294
    Kate7294 Posts: 783 Member
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    Number one . . . Congratulations on your weight loss.

    It sounds as though you may have EPOC - which is completely treatable - and may explain the excessive hair growth. There are a lot of hair removal options on the market (other than shaving) that will help you with that - until you get your hormones in alignment. :)

    There are now supplements that can help with the elasticity, thickness, and texture of your hair and skin. It's a matter of doing your research and selecting the ones that fit your needs best. Look at http://Transformation-U.com and click on the nutritional supplement page.

    Regarding "finding love" ... you will not find love until you have it within you. How can you expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself? You were born to this world with a purpose and are loved greatly, so do what brings you joy. When you focus on serving others, finding your faith, and being your best you, love will find YOU. <3


    Never heard of EPOC. I personally have PCOS which is poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Too many male hormones, irregular cycles, facial hair ( a real joy) , and other symptoms. I take Metformin for mine (** but was also pre-diabetic when diagnosed Metformin treats both).

    Great job losing the 50 lbs.!

    I'm prone to stretch marks here too ( genetics). **Check out the blog by usmc . She wrote one about loving our bodies the way they are.

    As for the love thing. I've rarely met any gay men or women who were super judge-mental. I used to go dancing before our "gay" bar in Va. closed. Awesome fun. My husband even had fun when we'd go.
    Does sound like you need to learn to love yourself first though. ****We are our worst critiques! I was miserable in my early to late 30's. With me being diagnosed with PCOS helped a lot. I'm rocking my 40's. Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself.
  • pigelet
    pigelet Posts: 37 Member
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    Hey - you are dealing with a lot.

    Per the excess hair issue, see a doctor and also
    look into Laser Hair removal. You could get great
    discount packages eg $250-350 for 6 sessions for
    a large body area etc.
    I had chin hair issues and for the love of ..., nothing
    seemed to work. It was mortifying and believe you I
    understand where you are coming from. Got laser
    which worked on dark skin and voila, finally the hair
    was GONE!
    Feel free to msg/pm me so I can tell you how to
    search etc.

    Cheers,
  • BlackPup
    BlackPup Posts: 242 Member
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    Try bio oil for the stretch marks. But what the others say: you need to learn to love yourself is also true.

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