Adjusting to the new me and subsequent problems

I certainly understand this. Since I have lost some weight I notice that I get better treatment and eye contact from store employees and other random things. The service manager (male) where I got my car serviced actually flirted with me and winked at me the other day. It was weird because I don't know how to respond having gone decades as the ignored and even despised fat woman in these types of situations. I also feel a bit of anger towards the superficiality of it all. I am thinner but still the same great person I always was.
There is definitely a psychological adjustment to make to having a different look. I think it takes time to get used to the new reality.
Congratulations on your new healthier body!

Being healthy, thinner, fitter are admirable goals. Achieving those goals may have unintended consequences.

My wife did not join me on my fitness journey, and her jealousy of the time I'm taking for myself has been replaced with jealousy of results. I would have thought after 15 years of me as a diabetic, and my heart attack two years ago, on some points she'd be my biggest cheerleader, but that's just not the case. Quite the opposite.

Unwanted attention...That can be a drag. At some point, you just have to accept the human nature of others as long as their nature does not put you in jeopardy.

Self identity. This can take some time. Get to know the new you - your new sizes for everything. Looking in the mirror isn't narcissistic when you are getting used to a major change, but others may catch you when your reflection catches your own eyes. I try to talk to others or call someone on my cell when around reflective glass or mirrored buildings to keep me distracted. You don't want the reputation of the totally self-involved, beautiful person.

I could have written this myself.... I get those feelings myself, but it does get easier, I am gradually learning to accept compliments, I am gradually getting more familiar with my new size and I am gradually becoming familiar with my reflection.....

I was told to study myself in the mirror every day, just spend a few minutes a day looking at yourself, familiarising your brain with the reflection of yourself - it is an odd feeling, studying yourself in the mirror, I mean when I was bigger I avoided the mirror as much as possible, now I seek it out and look at myself in my new clothes, because sometimes I still can't believe I can wear the things i'm now wearing.

I am slowly getting used to the idea that I'm no longer too fat or heavy for things, I'm slowly realising that I can fit anywhere and won't break things with my weight and I'm gradually getting used to seeing my collar bones and feeling my hip bones.

I am telling myself that I still have 12lb left to lose, this is because I have decided to lose 12stone (168lb) in 24 months, also because I only wanted to get inside the Healthy Weight BMI range and not become too thin....

I'm not 100% convinced that I will want to stop when I actually get there, but it is something I have promised myself I will do, and looking at myself in the mirror I think that I am going have to stop, because if I go much further I will start to look old, I can already see a bit of a change in my face and I think I am looking a bit older than I'd like - but I will lose these 12lb and see what happens then....

I also know what you mean about people's reaction to you, I have lost a few friends since losing weight, because people don't know what to do with me any more - I have always been the fat lass, people either looked at me with pity or disgust and now I'm almost "normal" those people no longer need to pity or despise me, they have to accept me for me, but not everyone can do that.... I have gained friends too, because I'm fitter and get out more, other fit people chat to me, but prior to losing the weight, those people didn't look at me sideways.

I have been told I've changed (I'm more out going) I've got taller (I stand proud) I'm too lively (because I can't stand sitting about, it drives me nuts).

My world is much bigger and I fit in it perfectly, I'm loving getting familiar with the slimmer, fitter and more lively me.

xXx

While I'm excited to be healthier and smaller, some issues have cropped up that I'm dealing with and I'd appreciate feedback for others who are experiencing the same thing.

1. I've heard a lot of comments recently about my weight loss. Sometimes, it's nice to hear, but it's also disconcerting at times. See there are women who are uber friendly to me now who had ignored me before. When I mentioned this to my trainer, he described it like this - when I was heavier, these women thought I was beneath them, then when I started to lose weight, they thought I was cute, but now, well, I'm just a threat.

2. I can't stop looking in mirrors and glass doors at myself because I don't recognize myself. When I was ironing a pair of pants the other day, I wondered how I even got into those pants. I'm struggling with the reality of my new body and wonder when my brain will know me again. When shopping, I keep reaching for larger sizes and don't know my dimensions anymore. It's so weird.

3. Men. I don't know what to do with the attention. I've been heavier most of my life and have never caught the eye of many guys. I've been happily married for over 2 decades, so I'm not looking around. However, there are forward guys out there. It makes me so uncomfortable and awkward. At the health club, I just want to workout and not get sideways looks or be called baby doll, sigh.

4. When will I know when to stop losing? I'm not at my goal weight yet, but I wonder if I'll ever get to a place where I'll feel that I can ease back and move into maintenance. I've tentatively thought that I would keep up my regime until the end of the year and then move into the next phase in January. However, will I be able to switch gears and accept my body as it is without feeling like I'm still not there? Is it unrealistic to keep reaching for more tone and muscle?

I never thought I'd have these problems to deal with. I've come to realize that losing weight is more of a mental game than I thought possible.

1. Don't worry about those women, leave them to it, you don't need to entertain their shallowness or insecurities.

2. Nothing wrong with admiring your hard work...just like anyone else would whatever their accomplishments are! You will get mentally used to your new size/body in time.

3. Ignore the attention if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I imagine it's just beacuse you're not used to it...you never know you might even enjoy it in the future?!

4. No it's not unrealistic to keep wanting more muscle/definition, it takes years to build alot of muscle anyway. If that's what you want go for it...you may even find that your focus on the scale won't matter anymore as you'll concentrate more on gains and losing fat instead of just weight

Congrats on your hard work OP, keep at it!