I've never been thin, EVER!

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Holykoala
Holykoala Posts: 4
in Introduce Yourself
Hello. I am 23 years old and I've been overweight all my life since the day I was born. I've tried to lose weight before but whenever I tried to start, I lose the initiative after a few days. I've always wanted someone in my life to help me get off the couch and continue to help me do so until I reach my goal. But I don't have anybody in my life right now who can motivate me in that way. In fact, some of the people in my life right now (my family and a few friends) are in need of motivation themselves. Other than that they need time, which most of them don't have.

Is there anyone out there who was like me? Someone who has been big all his/her life but has finally gotten all that weight off? If so, tell me what finally got you motivated, because I NEED help! :frown: :cry: :sad:

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  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
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    Hello. I am 23 years old and I've been overweight all my life since the day I was born. I've tried to lose weight before but whenever I tried to start, I lose the initiative after a few days. I've always wanted someone in my life to help me get off the couch and continue to help me do so until I reach my goal. But I don't have anybody in my life right now who can motivate me in that way. In fact, some of the people in my life right now (my family and a few friends) are in need of motivation themselves. Other than that they need time, which most of them don't have.

    Is there anyone out there who was like me? Someone who has been big all his/her life but has finally gotten all that weight off? If so, tell me what finally got you motivated, because I NEED help! :frown: :cry: :sad:

    You have to find a way to motivate yourself.....you can do this! I've been heavy since the 3rd grade. I have lost weight in the past (and regained it)....Grrr

    Losing weight (AND keeping it off) requires lifestyle changes. Make one change today.....think baby steps. You don't have to change everything at once. Cut yourself some slack. You don't have to be perfect to lose weight....you just need to develop some consistency.

    I started to "clean up" my diet. It's not perfect (not sugar free, not processed food free)....it never will be. I still have snacks.....but to keep the weight off forever, I need to learn control (for snacking). I'm adding more veggies, I'm eating less fast food. Eating less processed food. Not huge changes....just lots of small ones.

    Re: exercise. Some people like to get a handle on diet first....and then start exercise. Find something you ENJOY doing. This may take some time. Keep trying new things. YouTube, Netflix by mail, your library, Hulu.com.....lots of places to find various workout options.

    Enjoying an activity will make exercise more consistent. I'm fairly uncoordinated (and make many more excuses) so I picked something that is excuse proof. Leslie Sansone Just Walk DVDs are something I can do forever. A DVD means I can workout when it's raining, people won't see me (small space....close the door)...I just need comfortable shoes.

    Losing weight really is as simple as eating less and moving more......but finding a way to be consistent is the key.
  • Spaced_out_lady
    Spaced_out_lady Posts: 111 Member
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    Hi! I can relate to your struggles. I've struggled with weight loss for a long time. I've made some progress but I still have quite a way to go. I run quite a bit and do weight lifting for muscle toning. I have quite a bit of muscle already from my younger days as a track athlete. It's just a question now of getting rid of the fat and getting the muscle out.

    Please feel free to add me and we can support and motivate each other.
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
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    Being thin is really a back burner goal. The entire point of weight loss is to become healthy, and if you plan on exercising to become fit.

    Large boned people will probably never be considered thin, but they can become much healthier, and look GREAT at the same time.

    No one can motivate you to do something, it all comes from you, and what you choose to do. You can ask for friends on this board that will encourage you to keep going, but ultimately you're the one that will be required to make the choice of a life style change or continue down the same path. It will be you that makes all the choices.
  • isebastianl
    isebastianl Posts: 2
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    Walking daily in morning is a great way to start, listen too an audio book while walking or motivation speeches. Makes your rest of day better and full of motivation. Or a easy way is to get a smaller plate and eat on that small plate it will cut, overeating. Throw all junk food away or cut some out.You are still young so if you stick to an exercise or diet you will burn so much fat fast since your metabolism will be fast
  • MsSashaFire
    MsSashaFire Posts: 49
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    I feel your pain, I was in the obese category all my life. Tried all kinds of fast fab diets that either didn't work or I was unable to stick with. What finally got me motivated was looking at pictures of myself and realizing I was getting bigger and bigger, and decided it was time for a change. Unfortunately you are going to have to motivate yourself to take that first step and looks like you have by joining this site. When I joined I weighing in at 245 pounds that was 3 years ago, one of the best decisions I made was coming here this site gives you all the tools you need to succeed all you have to do is apply them, not to mention one of the best support systems through friends and others experiences. I wish you the best on your healthy journey and any help and support you might need feel free to add me!
  • AlyssamR6712
    AlyssamR6712 Posts: 114 Member
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    If you want the change bad enough, you need to make the decision and motivate yourself. We are all here for you, for support but no one is there to physcially make you do it. As far as time... you have to make the time, like it says on my profile "i don't have time" is the grown-up version of "my dog ate my homework". When i was deployed to afghanistan, working 16 hour days, 6 days a week i cut my sleep slightly so that i had time. Yes rest is important but you can always skim whether it be getting up earlier or going to bed later.

    Good luck with all your goals and i hope you find the motivation and dedication in yourself that you are looking for
  • Rlavigne93
    Rlavigne93 Posts: 119 Member
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    I know the feeling. I'd been overweight since grade school. Never been able to stick with ANY diet, and I tried all of them. Even the obviously unhealthy ones. What finally helped me was just picking one thing to change, and sticking with it until the end. I started one of those 30 day ab challenges last October. I kept giving up about halfway through because it got too hard, but I'd start over the next week. It ended up taking almost four months for s 30 day challenge, but I finished it.

    I didn't actually start watching my diet until after. I remember noticing muscles that I never had before. No one else could see them, but I could feel them there under the fat. I liked it, feeling strong. So I started working out every day. Just strength training at first, easy stuff. I started taking vitamins every day, then counting calories, then I started worrying about macronutrient ratios and such.

    Some people need dramatic change, but for me it was one step at a time until each step didn't feel like work. I didn't notice when it was happening, but now I hardly crave the junk food that I used to live for. Everything I eat isn't really about calories, but what it can DO for me. I used to think I was obsessed with food, but now I guess I'm even more so. I get a kick out of planning out my meals for the week, and picking what small treats to reward myself with.

    It's a long process to. Nearly a year later and I'm still far from where I'd like to be, but I'm a hell of a lot closer than before. For once I feel like I can actually reach my goal eventually, instead of just dreaming about the day it'll magically happen.
  • sylviadeannek
    sylviadeannek Posts: 16
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    I feel yah. I can pinpoint the moment in my childhood that I became fat: 3rd grade. Clothes shopping for me has never been fun. Always picked last. I get it.

    I think what motivates me is finding that person I have never been. That me in inside who isn't hidden by all this weight. I got down to 200 in 2014, the lowest I had been since middle school probably I am at 304 now (after being 340), but want to be down to 150 by the end of 2016. I am in this for the long haul this time. Starting slow.

    When I first started, I didn't even restrict my calories. Just tracked what i ate to get in the habit of tracking. Just noticing what I ate. Then i cut out the big players. For me, it was soda and coffee. I lost 28 pounds that way.

    Now, I am more dedicated to it, but I am still taking time. I want to love a healthier, trimmer me, But I am also not going to stop loving who I am now! I think that's the key. Don't shame our guilt yourself into doing this. Doing this should be positive and fun!
  • Holykoala
    Holykoala Posts: 4
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    Wow! All of you have given me some great advice! Ok, this is what I got:

    (1) I should motivate myself - It's really the only way to get the fire started.

    (2) Start with small easy goals - I think I have made some goals to myself (like drinking more water) but I thought it wasn't really enough...

    (3) Start with diet then exercise - I guess I'm not totally lost. I try not to eat out and I stay away from the Little Debbies and such (now if only I would stay away from the chips... DX )

    (4) Make exercise fun and/or more pleasant - I really like that audiobook advice. I've never thought of doing that.

    (5) Cut junk food, one step at a time - This is kind of hard for me; not the cutting of the junk food (that I can do with ease) but the consistence of keeping off of it. But I guess it comes with time

    Thank you guys so much!
  • paulie3sticks
    paulie3sticks Posts: 5
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    I have also been overweight my entire life and I think you're right to focus on motivation. I remind myself why I'm doing this whenever I want to eat something I know I shouldn't, or not exercise when I know I should. To find your motivation, think about what you want to do with your body, and think of things that you either can't do now or wish you could do better than you can now. I also think it's better to have a goal (or goals) that are measurable and tangible. For example, wanting to be thin enough to go skydiving will get me out of bed at 5:30am for a quick bike ride before work. But if my goal was just to be healthy, I'd probably just hit the snooze button.

    I've lost 164lbs but I need to lose another 110 so I don't have all the answers. Besides the motivation, the one thing that has helped me has been a low-carb, low calorie diet. I have not only been overweight my entire life, I have been hungry my whole life. I would be hungry, almost ravenous, just two hours after eating a huge meal. After cutting out carbs, I'm no longer hungry. I think my hunger was caused by my insulin resistance. But please don't start any kind of diet like this without consulting a doctor or a nutritionist. Just because something works for me doesn't mean it will work for you.

    One last thing I will say about your situation is your family and friends. You mention that you don't have anyone in your life that can help with your motivation. Don't let them become anchors in your journey to transform yourself. They may not want to see you fail, they may just want to maintain the status quo. You may need to have a few unpleasant conversations with them about what you want to do. Hopefully they will be supportive, and hopefully you can be the catalyst for all of them to change their lifestyle. But it may become awkward with some of them, and you should be ready for that.

    Feel free to add me. I we can motivate each other. Good luck!
  • amcook4
    amcook4 Posts: 561 Member
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    I've never been a healthy weight either, I was a chubby baby, a fat kid, and overweight teenager and now the obese adult. I have no idea what it is like to even be skinny or healthy....and I'm really excited for it to come one of these days!

    Support of both my husband and my online MFP friends has played a huge factor in my success here, so it is great that you are looking for a good support system! Feel free to add me here, because I know how much supportive people being around can help!

    Hopefully once you start losing and your family & friends an see the positive difference you are making, they will change their tune and be supportive players for you. If that doesn't happen, MFP is always a great place when you need some motivation or encouragement! Best of luck!!!
  • kempt_ken
    kempt_ken Posts: 96 Member
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    I've Been overweight most of my adult life, In my 50s now.
    I managed in the last year onMFP to hit a weight I haven't seen since collage. So I here you!
    Feel free to add me and I'll try to help in any way I can.
  • KelseyBee2014
    KelseyBee2014 Posts: 188 Member
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    I've never been at a healthy weight either. For motivation, I just think about how I'll be 20 soon and I want to experience what most people get to experience when they are in their 20's and feel comfortable while doing it. I want to go on dates, go dancing, go shopping in any store and not a plus size store with my friends. I want to try different activities like skydiving, zip lining, surfing, diving, among a bunch of other things. I know being thin won't fix everything, but it's something I can work for. My biggest issue will be my self confidence, and I'm hoping that once I'm thin and healthy and I'm able to start living the life I was meant to have, my confidence will slowly start to build.

    But everyday I think about what I will look like with a thin face - no double chin - and a not necessarily flat stomach, but a more flat stomach than I've ever had. I've never experienced myself thin and healthy so one day being able to experience myself like that is my motivation everyday.

    I'm 5'6'' and started at 232 lbs. I'm currently 210 so I have about 75 lbs left until my goal weight. Feel free to add me if you want. I have a open diary and I'm active every day.
  • Holykoala
    Holykoala Posts: 4
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    I really like reading all of your posts; they're very inspiring and helpful. KelseyBee, that's EXACTLY how I feel. I just want to know how it feels to live my life and be happy and healthy. I want to date and search for the good clothes that are NOT in the plus size aisle (because they are rarely there and rarely at a good price). I don't want to have to pay more for my clothes just because they're a bigger size either. And most importantly I want to look into that mirror one day and find myself satisfied with the young woman I was meant to be. (And getting checked out by a couple of guys wouldn't hurt either).

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