My 2nd weight loss attempt, struggling to get started ಠ_ಠ

fpsmoto
fpsmoto Posts: 31
in Introduce Yourself
I'm fat. Been fat since I was a kid. Whole family is fat, minus a few freaks of nature. I'm a 6ft 9in samsquanch of a man. I weigh a whopping 450lbs, give or take a few, since my scale broke I haven't really checked. Some years back, I decided to get my **** together and lost 125lbs in the span of 2 years. Fast forward another 2 years to today and I've gained most of it back. Now, feeling defeated by my lack of will power, I have decided to say screw it and take back what's mine. I turn 29 this month and plan to devote next couple years to getting healthy again and after that, to keep off the weight.

I'm tired of all the bs associated with being fat. It's not the way people look at me or what they think of me that bothers me, it's the inability to have any sense of normalcy in my life. Always doubting my actions, always looking at the past failures that have lead to this moment. Being fat is dumb. It's never helped anyone except for that fat *kitten* president we once had who had to get a custom made tub just so he could fit.

Tired of feeling ashamed, thinking I'm not good enough or as a disappointment to my family and friends. I'm tired of pretending there is no problem. I can't simply erase this from my mind. Too many opportunities I let slip through my finger tips to better myself because of my lack of self worth. There is no pleasure in being fat. I know there might be some out there who accept their fatness but I won't stand for it. It's about living a healthy lifestyle that will enable me to do the things in life I would normally avoid due to being fat, from becoming my own boss to one day getting married and having kids.

Temptation is all around me. Everywhere I drive, there's multiple fast food places that serve overpriced, malnourished and straight addictive food. Sugar is the most dangerous drug in the world and yet most cultures embrace it. Far too long I've let this drug cloud my mind and my decisions.

Short term goals: Stop drinking sugary drinks, stop eating fast food and lose 10lbs each month.
Long term goals: 100lbs weight loss in a year, then another 100 in the 2nd year.

I'd also like to begin strength training but I'm rather shy when it comes to being around other people in a gym. I have a weight bench but it's not all that great. When I've gained control of my finances (which are piss poor due to eating out so much), I plan to buy a home gym as I have an extra room in my house I can easily put one in.

The first time I attempted weight loss, it was a short lived success but I feel I've learned from past mistakes and I have more knowledge to help me not only lose the weight again but keep it off. I don't expect it to happen overnight as it took me quite a long time to get to this point, but mark my words I will meet my goals.

Replies

  • wbl512
    wbl512 Posts: 21 Member
    You got this! Don't doubt yourself! You've lost wieght before! I know you can do it!

    Sending a friend request now.
  • doctorregenerated
    doctorregenerated Posts: 188 Member
    You have a great attitude and a good plan of attack.
    You got this!!!
    You have positive past experience to draw from and you know the pitfalls too, which will make you even more successful!
    Welcome!
  • TheDarnLochNessMonster
    TheDarnLochNessMonster Posts: 7
    I relate to so much of what you shared here. There are times where I actually, truly, feel bad for other people for having to look at me. I feel ashamed and embarrassed to merely take up space in the presence of others. Whenever I walk by people and I hear a laugh, I think, "Are they laughing at me? Are they laughing at my big body? Is something riding up or bunching or, worse, have I split my pants in the back?"

    I fantasize about finally achieving my "dream body" and using it to play all the sports I've dreamed of; volleyball, tennis, martial arts, yoga and dance, and do all the things I've dreamed of; hiking, biking, canoeing. I physically ache when I think of the number of times I've stopped myself from actually having fun by either being too out of shape to handle it, or being too afraid because of my body to participate.

    I've stopped and started more times than I can remember, and I'm only 24. The only time I was able to lose any "real" weight was when I started suffering severe, frequent panic attacks, which, surprise!, were centered on a fear of having a heart attack due to my size.

    I just wanted you to know that I understand some of those darker feelings, because they are a legitimate and real obstacle to making change. (One of my struggles is getting over those nagging feelings of "You're not worth this much effort, and no one will even care anyway" when trying to get on track.) Sometimes when you've been fat your whole life (I have) you just get so beat down by all the negativity from the outside and it becomes part of your inside too. It sucks. SO MUCH. But, I get it. I thought just knowing that might help.

    I wish you good luck, and I really hope you do achieve your goals.
  • kimdyj
    kimdyj Posts: 224 Member
    You can def do this! Feel free to add me! :) I am shy at the gym too but I put my headphones on with my music blaring and get my workout on....it helps. :)
  • alaynavee
    alaynavee Posts: 148 Member
    I want to say hello and congratulate you, because with this post you have officially started over! I have been a terrible yo-yo dieter all of my life as well, and when the weight came back, so did my self-loathing. But I hit the reset button again last year, lost almost 25 pounds and have kept it off for almost 9 months now, I just need to stay with it to lose the rest. Logging foods, planning meals to stay within your calorie budget, saying no to crap and making better choices is hard work, but it's so worth it. But you know that already!! Add me if you like, I'd be happy to cheer you on for every step, for every day you make count to reach your goals :) YOU HAVE THIS!
  • NorseMaiden
    NorseMaiden Posts: 95 Member
    You can do this! I'm in the same boat. Lost a bunch of weight and felt GREAT! Then over the past 18 months all the weight is back and I'm starting over. I wish you the best! Feel free to add me.
  • patb987
    patb987 Posts: 44 Member
    You can dooooooo it! Its always hard to get back into it, I've struggle with weight my whole life also,I love my sweets!

    Show everyone what you are made of!
  • sac5350
    sac5350 Posts: 2 Member
    You have an amazing determination and will absolutely succeed. And you've re-inspired me to get back on track and not let anything derail my progress. Thanks for being so real and open.
  • Gallagin
    Gallagin Posts: 2 Member
    Just your second attempt? Try 50th.... haha. I've seen it work too many times for any of us to give up. There will always be set backs. My new motto is " Do something for yourself today that your future self will thank you for." Keep tracking, posting and use the support that is available to you. I will look for your name in the "Goals met" board in a year. Good luck to both of us.
  • patwojo
    patwojo Posts: 13
    You have a great will and determination. Do it now...while you are still young!!!! Don't do what I did and yo-yo all my life. Now I'm in my mid 50s and I'm still trying. Why didn't I keep off the 35 lbs when I first went to WW in 1978???? I was in my 20's...or the 50 lbs. I lost when I was in my late 30's or how about the 60 lbs. I lost as I approached 50??? Nope. I blew it each and every time. I can't blow it any more. This is the last time I'm "starting a diet". I am in this for the long haul. What other choices do I really have???? Best of luck to you on your journey!
  • dawngon1
    dawngon1 Posts: 12 Member
    glad your here its one meal at a time track be honest with your self don't deprive your self ,exercise if you can my self not big on it but do walk start out small add a few steps a day ,
  • Saybrielle
    Saybrielle Posts: 7
    Stay strong and fight the good fight! You have a great attitude, realistic goals and the tools to get it done! I know you will succeed! Good luck!
  • bdenitto
    bdenitto Posts: 210 Member
    You can do this! Joining MFP is a great start. Keeping track of my calories and making exercise a daily habit have made a huge difference in my effort to get healthy. Ask for help at the gym. I wasn't sure about lifting, but the trainers at my gym were happy to give me a starting point and the other people lifting are usually happy to explain what they are doing.
  • SweetMaryAngel
    SweetMaryAngel Posts: 36
    I think your resolve is absolutely amazing and inspiring. Only recently did I start struggling with not falling off track from my weight loss and this inspired me to try again and harder. This time around you definitely got this, sending a friend request as well so hopefully we can motivate each other. my motto has always been, You gotta do what you gotta do. And now that you've resolved to make a difference nothing will stop you! I'm also shy about going to the gym, that's why I used workout vids or dance vids on youtube, or running/walking outside always gives a great workout and nice way to ease into exercising.
  • fpsmoto
    fpsmoto Posts: 31
    Just your second attempt? Try 50th.... haha. I've seen it work too many times for any of us to give up. There will always be set backs. My new motto is " Do something for yourself today that your future self will thank you for." Keep tracking, posting and use the support that is available to you. I will look for your name in the "Goals met" board in a year. Good luck to both of us.

    That's a good quote. In fact, I have a variation of that quote posted on my fridge that reads, "A year from now you will wish you had started today." It really is my 2nd attempt, no lie. I've never tried diet pills nor have I ever really done those trendy diets like atkins because I always hear about how they tend to make people fail more than succeed. My philosophy is just to stay active and try to eat food that was grown, not manufactured in some factory.

    Thank you to everyone for your support so far. I think this site will be a great benefit to me just with the community support alone. I used to use Live Strong but MFP seems to have better tools available so I'm sold on using this site exclusively while on my weight loss journey.:tongue:
  • ritika33
    ritika33 Posts: 48 Member
    You are right on track with heavy lifting. You got this ! Take it one day at a time and you WILL get there. Get a basic lifting plan like stronglifts 5x5 and look up videos on youtube for proper form. Believe me, lifting was the best thing I ever decided to try - just for my self confidence.
  • Annie78red
    Annie78red Posts: 3
    Hello! I just joined a few minutes ago...Time to be accountable for our lives and stop letting weight get in the way! Experiences are what really matter in life and I have missed out on too many. We can do this. Make tomorrow a day for you and your health (I will too)! Good luck!!:smile:
  • BryVia12
    BryVia12 Posts: 181 Member
    You've already proven to yourself that you can do it! This is my 2nd time too, I know I can do it. It's our minds that get in the way. That little voice in your head that says, "go on, it's just 1 cookie" or "you can do better tomorrow" etc. One of my favorite quotes is, "Move your *kitten* and your mind will follow". We just gotta get to work! Working up a sweat everyday will help you make the right food choices. I am changing my life, I will be a success story! Not a cookie in the world can stop me now! Any of you can add me if you like.:flowerforyou:
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    You made the first step, and one of the most difficult ones - getting started. Great attitude ! Yes you can do it - one choice at a time , one day after another, one step then another.

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