A little discouraged...

Fitness professional Shaun T answered a question about this topic last week:

Q. "How do I handle people that suggest exercise is selfish and that it takes time away from family?"


A. "Well, actually exercising is selfless! I've said before that "You are the nucleus of your existence!" A happier you equals a happier family. If someone feels that you're being selfish for exercising just remind them that you want to love longer and have positive energy for the family."

I am not a mom, but part of my motivation on this journey is that one day I will be. I think taking care of yourself is important so you can take care of your child. Your child will grow up seeing you take care of yourself and that will resonate with him. I wish my parents did that when I was a kid. By the time I was 15 I was extremely overweight. And my dad had a stroke almost a decade ago because of stress and really, REALLY poor health habits. My family's life was severely affected in more ways than I can count.

You know, when people have an unhealthy lifestyle, they often say it's their life and they're not hurting anyone. But that's not true, because if those unhealthy habits lead to extreme health issues, everyone close to them suffers. A lot.

You are not being selfish. Please dont give up, even if your sister wont help you. Where there's a will, there's a way, and being a single mom who is coming out of an abusive relationship and still working hard to take care of yourself and your infant, I'd say you have some serious willpower

It is your decision to wake your son or not and it isn't for us or your sister or anyone else to be the judge of that. You are his mother and it is up to you. You sound like an intelligent woman and a dedicated parent who makes decisions that you feel are best for your son and yourself. Period.

However -- I don't really feel that your sister is "in the wrong" either. I think it was pretty rude of her to give you such short notice. But she's entitled to her opinion. If she really feels that your parenting decision is not a good one and she can't in good conscience participate in some of the caregiving associated with it...that's her call. It may put a damper on your relationship with her but I wouldn't say she has done anything wrong aside from giving you less notice than would have been appropriate.

That is just...wrong of your sister. Seriously. A) If she didn't want to do it she could have said it immediately so you could have made other plans if possible. Insinuating that you're selfish because you are wanting to be healthy (which in turn makes you an even better role model for your son) is beyond rude. I don't get people like that.

Then again, I live over 2 hours away from my closest relative and most of us don't have the strongest relationships with one another.

I think you are in an extremely tough position and good on you for always trying to do your best.

However - for the sake of family (and appreciating that you probably need and rely on the support they can provide you), don't feel too angry at your sister. She might have her own stuff going on which is masking why she has REALLY said this. Instead, try and reach her halfway (I know this is difficult). Perhaps say "OK - I hear what you are saying about getting my boy up very early and I understand your point, but this exercise is really important to me. How about I only do it X times a week instead - would you still be prepared to help me out please?"

We can't always get our own way and to be fair - it isn't up to your sister to help you (however much everyone on here seems to think she should). Get her back on your side and you'll all be happier long term.

In the meantime, just because I advocate a bit of compromise - it doesn't mean I don't sympathise with how unfairly you feel you have been treated. Sometimes, when you feel like you're battling the world - one more obstacle (however small) can seem incredibly unjust.

Keep with it!

Your not a bad mother.. Shame on your sister for making you even question that. Your health is important.