Back to School: Dress Code

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SarahRuthRuns
SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
Can I just vent for a moment about school dress codes? The school my daughters attend has gotten so ridiculous about dress code that we spent about 20 minutes last night looking at my daughters chosen outfit and pouring over the dress code policy trying to determine if it was okay or not.

Nobody in their right mind would have looked at her outfit and thought it was inappropriate. Brand new jeans with no holes or tears. A sleeveless top that completely covered the top of her shoulders and was tucked into her jeans... black with small sunflowers all over it.

The only possible problem was that it was a very light sheer material that in the right light was slightly see-through. Because of this, she wore a tank top under it. We ended up telling her not to wear it, even with the tank top under it.

Technically, the dress code policy says that they can't wear anything see-through that shows anything under it, even straps.

Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways...

But, what finally pushed me over the top is this year they added a clause to the actual policy that says that "whether or not something is inappropriate is entirely at their discretion." In the past we have approved (or nixed) their outfits the night before and if they got dinged on dress code my husband would go to the school in person with the dress code in hand and have them either point to the rule that they were breaking or let them off. Now we can't even do that!!

Apparently a girl got in trouble for dress code yesterday because she had a tank top with spaghetti straps (the straps have to be wider than 3 fingers) even though she had a sweater on over it. The teacher actually moved the sweater to see the straps! If you have to move clothing to make the outfit "not dress code", then the outfit is actually okay, right?

The dress code has gotten so strict it's actually difficult to find clothes in the stores that are considered acceptable. At least stylish clothes that the kids want to buy and will actually wear.

I generally don't like uniforms in schools, but I'm almost wishing they were a uniform school now.

Am I crazy to be flipping out over this??
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Replies

  • kbeckley11
    kbeckley11 Posts: 203 Member
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    I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
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    Can I just vent for a moment about school dress codes? The school my daughters attend has gotten so ridiculous about dress code that we spent about 20 minutes last night looking at my daughters chosen outfit and pouring over the dress code policy trying to determine if it was okay or not.

    Nobody in their right mind would have looked at her outfit and thought it was inappropriate. Brand new jeans with no holes or tears. A sleeveless top that completely covered the top of her shoulders and was tucked into her jeans... black with small sunflowers all over it.

    The only possible problem was that it was a very light sheer material that in the right light was slightly see-through. Because of this, she wore a tank top under it. We ended up telling her not to wear it, even with the tank top under it.

    Technically, the dress code policy says that they can't wear anything see-through that shows anything under it, even straps.

    Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways...

    But, what finally pushed me over the top is this year they added a clause to the actual policy that says that "whether or not something is inappropriate is entirely at their discretion." In the past we have approved (or nixed) their outfits the night before and if they got dinged on dress code my husband would go to the school in person with the dress code in hand and have them either point to the rule that they were breaking or let them off. Now we can't even do that!!

    Apparently a girl got in trouble for dress code yesterday because she had a tank top with spaghetti straps (the straps have to be wider than 3 fingers) even though she had a sweater on over it. The teacher actually moved the sweater to see the straps! If you have to move clothing to make the outfit "not dress code", then the outfit is actually okay, right?

    The dress code has gotten so strict it's actually difficult to find clothes in the stores that are considered acceptable. At least stylish clothes that the kids want to buy and will actually wear.

    I generally don't like uniforms in schools, but I'm almost wishing they were a uniform school now.

    Am I crazy to be flipping out over this??

    Crazy for flipping out, perhaps.. But is it frustrating that the policy is so strict? Yes. Especially for Florida. Here in Michigan, that may be more acceptable. But even still. My schools policy was nothing see-through (understandable) straps wider than 3 fingers, and skirts had to be longer than the finger tips. Also intentionally wearing clothes that accentuate your breasts was forbidden, so no push up bras or extremely low cut blouses.

    I believe a young woman should have the ability to express herself and her style within reason. Dress comfortably, but dress tastefully.
    I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.

    Not to mention if this teacher is a Man.. Highly inappropriate, but there should still be no Teacher/Student contact. You are there to teach, and they are there to learn..
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    That does sound pretty strict and difficult to enforce. I'd be concerned that the teachers & administrators are spending more time worrying about clothes adhering to the dress code than things like education and decorum. Wow.
  • kbeckley11
    kbeckley11 Posts: 203 Member
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    And, no, I don't think you are crazy.
  • YF92
    YF92 Posts: 2,893 Member
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    Ouch lol

    Just glad all I had to wear at school is what I'm wearing now
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
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    The only way this kind of stuff changes is if you as parents and citizens sue the living crap out of the school and the individuals involved. I am sorry, but that's your only long term recourse without taking your kids out of school, and either putting them in a charter or private school, or homeschooling them.
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.

    You don't have a problem with a teacher moving a child's clothing to, essentially, make it not conform to dress code? The kids can't win in that scenario. If a teacher has it out for the child, they can adjust their clothing and send them to the office.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    My daughter got a free hoodie one day.
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    That does sound pretty strict and difficult to enforce. I'd be concerned that the teachers & administrators are spending more time worrying about clothes adhering to the dress code than things like education and decorum. Wow.

    That's a concern of mine as well. Seems like all the teachers and administration are spending all their time staring at each and every kid trying to find a violation.
  • kbeckley11
    kbeckley11 Posts: 203 Member
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    I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.

    You don't have a problem with a teacher moving a child's clothing to, essentially, make it not conform to dress code? The kids can't win in that scenario. If a teacher has it out for the child, they can adjust their clothing and send them to the office.

    I was saying that I can't believe that a school cares so much about the size of a strap, but the SCHOOL does not care if a teacher touches a student/moves student's clothing. I was not saying that I had no problem with it, because I would have a problem with it.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,359 Member
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    here you can't even wear leggings under shorts. My daughter said no shorts this year. Tank top has to have straps 3 fingers wide or it's not allowed. Dresses have to reach the knees.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I am SO GLAD I don't have to deal with this anymore. We only had a major issue with one school my daughter attended for a couple years, but it was ridiculous. I worked for the newspaper in the very small town and wrote a scathing editorial about it. I got a LOT of feedback from other parents just as outraged.

    The worst part was that they enforced it for some kids and not others and they constantly picked on my daughter for something as trivial as the bottoms of her jeans were frayed (it was tough with her height to find pants that were the right length, so she trod on them a lot).
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.

    You don't have a problem with a teacher moving a child's clothing to, essentially, make it not conform to dress code? The kids can't win in that scenario. If a teacher has it out for the child, they can adjust their clothing and send them to the office.

    I was saying that I can't believe that a school cares so much about the size of a strap, but the SCHOOL does not care if a teacher touches a student/moves student's clothing. I was not saying that I had no problem with it, because I would have a problem with it.

    Oh, okay. I totally misread that. Thanks for clarifying! I have a serious problem with the teachers adjusting the kids clothes.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I used to loathe this growing up, but ironically, Oklahoma has let it's overly-conservative foot UP (not down) on dress codes.

    Found out today my daughters shorts code is "if you can bend over and touch your toes without the panties showing, you're fine."

    When I was a kid it was 2 inches over the knee, which is impossible for a tall girl like me!

    I'm sorry.

    I just can't believe it's OKLAHOMA of all places that are getting with the times.

    I'm talking about Norman, the most educated and progressive area in the state, in all fairness.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I would personally tell the people who run the school to go **** themselves.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    ...You spent 20 minutes over NOT choosing a simple t-shirt? :huh: I think you are overcomplicating things. When is doubt, stick with what you know will be ok, stop trying to push the envelope. Keep the sheer tanks for her to wear after school and on weekends.
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    here you can't even wear leggings under shorts. My daughter said no shorts this year. Tank top has to have straps 3 fingers wide or it's not allowed. Dresses have to reach the knees.

    Shorts or dresses have to be no more than 3 inches above the knee. That basically means no shorts until the longer ones come back into style. And leggings are not allowed at all.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    OP, how old is your child?
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...

    Yeah. Schools really just need to go back to uniforms. Too much time is spent on worthless garbage like dress code and not enough on actual education.