Back to School: Dress Code
SarahRuthRuns
Posts: 118 Member
in Chit-Chat
Can I just vent for a moment about school dress codes? The school my daughters attend has gotten so ridiculous about dress code that we spent about 20 minutes last night looking at my daughters chosen outfit and pouring over the dress code policy trying to determine if it was okay or not.
Nobody in their right mind would have looked at her outfit and thought it was inappropriate. Brand new jeans with no holes or tears. A sleeveless top that completely covered the top of her shoulders and was tucked into her jeans... black with small sunflowers all over it.
The only possible problem was that it was a very light sheer material that in the right light was slightly see-through. Because of this, she wore a tank top under it. We ended up telling her not to wear it, even with the tank top under it.
Technically, the dress code policy says that they can't wear anything see-through that shows anything under it, even straps.
Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways...
But, what finally pushed me over the top is this year they added a clause to the actual policy that says that "whether or not something is inappropriate is entirely at their discretion." In the past we have approved (or nixed) their outfits the night before and if they got dinged on dress code my husband would go to the school in person with the dress code in hand and have them either point to the rule that they were breaking or let them off. Now we can't even do that!!
Apparently a girl got in trouble for dress code yesterday because she had a tank top with spaghetti straps (the straps have to be wider than 3 fingers) even though she had a sweater on over it. The teacher actually moved the sweater to see the straps! If you have to move clothing to make the outfit "not dress code", then the outfit is actually okay, right?
The dress code has gotten so strict it's actually difficult to find clothes in the stores that are considered acceptable. At least stylish clothes that the kids want to buy and will actually wear.
I generally don't like uniforms in schools, but I'm almost wishing they were a uniform school now.
Am I crazy to be flipping out over this??
Nobody in their right mind would have looked at her outfit and thought it was inappropriate. Brand new jeans with no holes or tears. A sleeveless top that completely covered the top of her shoulders and was tucked into her jeans... black with small sunflowers all over it.
The only possible problem was that it was a very light sheer material that in the right light was slightly see-through. Because of this, she wore a tank top under it. We ended up telling her not to wear it, even with the tank top under it.
Technically, the dress code policy says that they can't wear anything see-through that shows anything under it, even straps.
Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways...
But, what finally pushed me over the top is this year they added a clause to the actual policy that says that "whether or not something is inappropriate is entirely at their discretion." In the past we have approved (or nixed) their outfits the night before and if they got dinged on dress code my husband would go to the school in person with the dress code in hand and have them either point to the rule that they were breaking or let them off. Now we can't even do that!!
Apparently a girl got in trouble for dress code yesterday because she had a tank top with spaghetti straps (the straps have to be wider than 3 fingers) even though she had a sweater on over it. The teacher actually moved the sweater to see the straps! If you have to move clothing to make the outfit "not dress code", then the outfit is actually okay, right?
The dress code has gotten so strict it's actually difficult to find clothes in the stores that are considered acceptable. At least stylish clothes that the kids want to buy and will actually wear.
I generally don't like uniforms in schools, but I'm almost wishing they were a uniform school now.
Am I crazy to be flipping out over this??
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Replies
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I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.0
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Can I just vent for a moment about school dress codes? The school my daughters attend has gotten so ridiculous about dress code that we spent about 20 minutes last night looking at my daughters chosen outfit and pouring over the dress code policy trying to determine if it was okay or not.
Nobody in their right mind would have looked at her outfit and thought it was inappropriate. Brand new jeans with no holes or tears. A sleeveless top that completely covered the top of her shoulders and was tucked into her jeans... black with small sunflowers all over it.
The only possible problem was that it was a very light sheer material that in the right light was slightly see-through. Because of this, she wore a tank top under it. We ended up telling her not to wear it, even with the tank top under it.
Technically, the dress code policy says that they can't wear anything see-through that shows anything under it, even straps.
Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways...
But, what finally pushed me over the top is this year they added a clause to the actual policy that says that "whether or not something is inappropriate is entirely at their discretion." In the past we have approved (or nixed) their outfits the night before and if they got dinged on dress code my husband would go to the school in person with the dress code in hand and have them either point to the rule that they were breaking or let them off. Now we can't even do that!!
Apparently a girl got in trouble for dress code yesterday because she had a tank top with spaghetti straps (the straps have to be wider than 3 fingers) even though she had a sweater on over it. The teacher actually moved the sweater to see the straps! If you have to move clothing to make the outfit "not dress code", then the outfit is actually okay, right?
The dress code has gotten so strict it's actually difficult to find clothes in the stores that are considered acceptable. At least stylish clothes that the kids want to buy and will actually wear.
I generally don't like uniforms in schools, but I'm almost wishing they were a uniform school now.
Am I crazy to be flipping out over this??
Crazy for flipping out, perhaps.. But is it frustrating that the policy is so strict? Yes. Especially for Florida. Here in Michigan, that may be more acceptable. But even still. My schools policy was nothing see-through (understandable) straps wider than 3 fingers, and skirts had to be longer than the finger tips. Also intentionally wearing clothes that accentuate your breasts was forbidden, so no push up bras or extremely low cut blouses.
I believe a young woman should have the ability to express herself and her style within reason. Dress comfortably, but dress tastefully.I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.
Not to mention if this teacher is a Man.. Highly inappropriate, but there should still be no Teacher/Student contact. You are there to teach, and they are there to learn..0 -
That does sound pretty strict and difficult to enforce. I'd be concerned that the teachers & administrators are spending more time worrying about clothes adhering to the dress code than things like education and decorum. Wow.0
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And, no, I don't think you are crazy.0
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Ouch lol
Just glad all I had to wear at school is what I'm wearing now0 -
The only way this kind of stuff changes is if you as parents and citizens sue the living crap out of the school and the individuals involved. I am sorry, but that's your only long term recourse without taking your kids out of school, and either putting them in a charter or private school, or homeschooling them.0
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I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.
You don't have a problem with a teacher moving a child's clothing to, essentially, make it not conform to dress code? The kids can't win in that scenario. If a teacher has it out for the child, they can adjust their clothing and send them to the office.0 -
My daughter got a free hoodie one day.0
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That does sound pretty strict and difficult to enforce. I'd be concerned that the teachers & administrators are spending more time worrying about clothes adhering to the dress code than things like education and decorum. Wow.
That's a concern of mine as well. Seems like all the teachers and administration are spending all their time staring at each and every kid trying to find a violation.0 -
I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.
You don't have a problem with a teacher moving a child's clothing to, essentially, make it not conform to dress code? The kids can't win in that scenario. If a teacher has it out for the child, they can adjust their clothing and send them to the office.
I was saying that I can't believe that a school cares so much about the size of a strap, but the SCHOOL does not care if a teacher touches a student/moves student's clothing. I was not saying that I had no problem with it, because I would have a problem with it.0 -
here you can't even wear leggings under shorts. My daughter said no shorts this year. Tank top has to have straps 3 fingers wide or it's not allowed. Dresses have to reach the knees.0
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I am SO GLAD I don't have to deal with this anymore. We only had a major issue with one school my daughter attended for a couple years, but it was ridiculous. I worked for the newspaper in the very small town and wrote a scathing editorial about it. I got a LOT of feedback from other parents just as outraged.
The worst part was that they enforced it for some kids and not others and they constantly picked on my daughter for something as trivial as the bottoms of her jeans were frayed (it was tough with her height to find pants that were the right length, so she trod on them a lot).0 -
I can't believe that a school would go that far with dress code, but have no problem with a teacher touching a student, and moving their clothing.
You don't have a problem with a teacher moving a child's clothing to, essentially, make it not conform to dress code? The kids can't win in that scenario. If a teacher has it out for the child, they can adjust their clothing and send them to the office.
I was saying that I can't believe that a school cares so much about the size of a strap, but the SCHOOL does not care if a teacher touches a student/moves student's clothing. I was not saying that I had no problem with it, because I would have a problem with it.
Oh, okay. I totally misread that. Thanks for clarifying! I have a serious problem with the teachers adjusting the kids clothes.0 -
I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...0
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I used to loathe this growing up, but ironically, Oklahoma has let it's overly-conservative foot UP (not down) on dress codes.
Found out today my daughters shorts code is "if you can bend over and touch your toes without the panties showing, you're fine."
When I was a kid it was 2 inches over the knee, which is impossible for a tall girl like me!
I'm sorry.
I just can't believe it's OKLAHOMA of all places that are getting with the times.
I'm talking about Norman, the most educated and progressive area in the state, in all fairness.0 -
I would personally tell the people who run the school to go **** themselves.0
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...You spent 20 minutes over NOT choosing a simple t-shirt? :huh: I think you are overcomplicating things. When is doubt, stick with what you know will be ok, stop trying to push the envelope. Keep the sheer tanks for her to wear after school and on weekends.0
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here you can't even wear leggings under shorts. My daughter said no shorts this year. Tank top has to have straps 3 fingers wide or it's not allowed. Dresses have to reach the knees.
Shorts or dresses have to be no more than 3 inches above the knee. That basically means no shorts until the longer ones come back into style. And leggings are not allowed at all.0 -
OP, how old is your child?0
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I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...
Yeah. Schools really just need to go back to uniforms. Too much time is spent on worthless garbage like dress code and not enough on actual education.0 -
Where we've lived, the individual principals of each school had discretion over dress codes. The school board and upper admin stayed out of it. So one school in the district might allow something another didn't.I used to loathe this growing up, but ironically, Oklahoma has let it's overly-conservative foot UP (not down) on dress codes.
Found out today my daughters shorts code is "if you can bend over and touch your toes without the panties showing, you're fine."
When I was a kid it was 2 inches over the knee, which is impossible for a tall girl like me!
I'm sorry.
I just can't believe it's OKLAHOMA of all places that are getting with the times.
I'm talking about Norman, the most educated and progressive area in the state, in all fairness.
We hit the jackpot with the school with the worst principal when it came to dress code. She was more concerned with what kids wore (and I'm not talking about booty shorts and cleavage-baring tanks tops) than if they were getting an education.0 -
I am SO GLAD I don't have to deal with this anymore. We only had a major issue with one school my daughter attended for a couple years, but it was ridiculous. I worked for the newspaper in the very small town and wrote a scathing editorial about it. I got a LOT of feedback from other parents just as outraged.
The worst part was that they enforced it for some kids and not others and they constantly picked on my daughter for something as trivial as the bottoms of her jeans were frayed (it was tough with her height to find pants that were the right length, so she trod on them a lot).
We definitely have a problem with the rules being enforced strictly for some and not for others. I can't wait to be done dealing with this. Four more years...
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I live in Coastal Alabama, Yes it's hot, much needed lightweight clothing. I'd say this is a recipe for disaster especially if a teacher has a personality conflict with a student. She was covered.... at any rate, we switched to uniforms several years ago. BEST THING EVER! Now there is no arguement, the parents like it, the kids like it for the most part and if they want to express themselves, then they do so outside of school.0
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I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...
Totally agree!0 -
I once went to the school to do a "man on the street" thing with some of the students. One girl was wearing next to nothing and SUPER high heals, which I know were against the dress code and after I was done, the principal sent her right back to class without a word.I am SO GLAD I don't have to deal with this anymore. We only had a major issue with one school my daughter attended for a couple years, but it was ridiculous. I worked for the newspaper in the very small town and wrote a scathing editorial about it. I got a LOT of feedback from other parents just as outraged.
The worst part was that they enforced it for some kids and not others and they constantly picked on my daughter for something as trivial as the bottoms of her jeans were frayed (it was tough with her height to find pants that were the right length, so she trod on them a lot).
We definitely have a problem with the rules being enforced strictly for some and not for others. I can't wait to be done dealing with this. Four more years...
Mine spent an entire day in ISS because there was a hole in the knee of her jeans and I couldn't get away from work to bring her a different pair.0 -
That much work- just go to uniforms.
Seriously. I would have railed as a child- but after having attending a military school- knowing you can dress yourself in less than 5 minutes- no choosing of clothes- just put that chit on- it was amazing. what I learned as an adult LOL.
Yeah- silly- you're right to be annoyed. I don't even have kids and I'm annoyed for you.0 -
...You spent 20 minutes over NOT choosing a simple t-shirt? :huh: I think you are overcomplicating things. When is doubt, stick with what you know will be ok, stop trying to push the envelope. Keep the sheer tanks for her to wear after school and on weekends.
I think you missed the point that it's becoming nearly impossible to:
1. Find clothes in the stores that fit the dress code policy.
2. Determine what actually does fit the policy.
My husband has gone to the school on multiple occasions to defend our kids when they were wearing clothes that fit within the guidelines. And since they have changed the rule to basically say "We get to change the guidelines at our discretion", we lose the ability to back them up when they are being picked on by a teacher.
Last year my daughter had one teacher who had a problem with her. It was her last class of the day. And he would always send her to the office, it didn't matter what she was wearing, he would find a reason to claim it was unacceptable. Last year we backed her up by pointing to the policy. This year they've taken that option away from us.0 -
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My school DID have uniforms, and they were still just as bad. No ankle socks (because guys are so attracted to a girl's ankle, ya'll. He'll lose his s**t over that bony ankle!), and our skirts (I was at a Christian school) were measured. They couldn't be longer than our finger tips, but must be below our knees (to catch those pesky, short-armed girls). We could only wear track shoes, couldn't color our hair any color that couldn't be a natural hair color, couldn't wear colored tee shirts under our polos, couldn't wear a ton of jewelry, and our jackets, hoodies, and windbreakers had to be navy...only navy. Years later, I still have no idea why most of these rules existed.
Moral: Most schools will try to control your kids in one way or another.
Although I absolutely agree that a teacher has no right to be partially undressing a student (moving a sweater off her shoulder counts) in order to claim they're breaking the rules. That's be like a teacher shoving gum in my mouth only to turn around and give me detention for chewing gum in class.....with added inappropriate touching.0 -
Here's my daughter's High School Dress Code - below.
Sounds similar to yours:
No head gear (hats, caps, earphones, etc)
No bare midriffs
No low-cut shirts (at neckline or under arms)
No pants worn below hips, exposing underwear or skin
No short shorts or mini skirts
No skimpy-strapped tank tops or tube tops
No muscle shirts
No offensive or obscene language on clothing, pictures or words depicting sex
drugs alcohol or weapons
No studded jewelry
NO EXCEPTIONS0
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