Back to School: Dress Code

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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I used to loathe this growing up, but ironically, Oklahoma has let it's overly-conservative foot UP (not down) on dress codes.

    Found out today my daughters shorts code is "if you can bend over and touch your toes without the panties showing, you're fine."

    When I was a kid it was 2 inches over the knee, which is impossible for a tall girl like me!

    I'm sorry.

    I just can't believe it's OKLAHOMA of all places that are getting with the times.

    I'm talking about Norman, the most educated and progressive area in the state, in all fairness.
    Where we've lived, the individual principals of each school had discretion over dress codes. The school board and upper admin stayed out of it. So one school in the district might allow something another didn't.

    We hit the jackpot with the school with the worst principal when it came to dress code. She was more concerned with what kids wore (and I'm not talking about booty shorts and cleavage-baring tanks tops) than if they were getting an education.
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    I am SO GLAD I don't have to deal with this anymore. We only had a major issue with one school my daughter attended for a couple years, but it was ridiculous. I worked for the newspaper in the very small town and wrote a scathing editorial about it. I got a LOT of feedback from other parents just as outraged.

    The worst part was that they enforced it for some kids and not others and they constantly picked on my daughter for something as trivial as the bottoms of her jeans were frayed (it was tough with her height to find pants that were the right length, so she trod on them a lot).

    We definitely have a problem with the rules being enforced strictly for some and not for others. I can't wait to be done dealing with this. Four more years... :(
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
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    I live in Coastal Alabama, Yes it's hot, much needed lightweight clothing. I'd say this is a recipe for disaster especially if a teacher has a personality conflict with a student. She was covered.... at any rate, we switched to uniforms several years ago. BEST THING EVER! Now there is no arguement, the parents like it, the kids like it for the most part and if they want to express themselves, then they do so outside of school.
  • leanme28
    leanme28 Posts: 53
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    I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...

    Totally agree!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I am SO GLAD I don't have to deal with this anymore. We only had a major issue with one school my daughter attended for a couple years, but it was ridiculous. I worked for the newspaper in the very small town and wrote a scathing editorial about it. I got a LOT of feedback from other parents just as outraged.

    The worst part was that they enforced it for some kids and not others and they constantly picked on my daughter for something as trivial as the bottoms of her jeans were frayed (it was tough with her height to find pants that were the right length, so she trod on them a lot).

    We definitely have a problem with the rules being enforced strictly for some and not for others. I can't wait to be done dealing with this. Four more years... :(
    I once went to the school to do a "man on the street" thing with some of the students. One girl was wearing next to nothing and SUPER high heals, which I know were against the dress code and after I was done, the principal sent her right back to class without a word.

    Mine spent an entire day in ISS because there was a hole in the knee of her jeans and I couldn't get away from work to bring her a different pair.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    That much work- just go to uniforms.

    Seriously. I would have railed as a child- but after having attending a military school- knowing you can dress yourself in less than 5 minutes- no choosing of clothes- just put that chit on- it was amazing. what I learned as an adult LOL.

    Yeah- silly- you're right to be annoyed. I don't even have kids and I'm annoyed for you.
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    ...You spent 20 minutes over NOT choosing a simple t-shirt? :huh: I think you are overcomplicating things. When is doubt, stick with what you know will be ok, stop trying to push the envelope. Keep the sheer tanks for her to wear after school and on weekends.

    I think you missed the point that it's becoming nearly impossible to:

    1. Find clothes in the stores that fit the dress code policy.
    2. Determine what actually does fit the policy.

    My husband has gone to the school on multiple occasions to defend our kids when they were wearing clothes that fit within the guidelines. And since they have changed the rule to basically say "We get to change the guidelines at our discretion", we lose the ability to back them up when they are being picked on by a teacher.

    Last year my daughter had one teacher who had a problem with her. It was her last class of the day. And he would always send her to the office, it didn't matter what she was wearing, he would find a reason to claim it was unacceptable. Last year we backed her up by pointing to the policy. This year they've taken that option away from us.
  • poetgirl115
    poetgirl115 Posts: 45 Member
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    My school DID have uniforms, and they were still just as bad. No ankle socks (because guys are so attracted to a girl's ankle, ya'll. He'll lose his s**t over that bony ankle!), and our skirts (I was at a Christian school) were measured. They couldn't be longer than our finger tips, but must be below our knees (to catch those pesky, short-armed girls). We could only wear track shoes, couldn't color our hair any color that couldn't be a natural hair color, couldn't wear colored tee shirts under our polos, couldn't wear a ton of jewelry, and our jackets, hoodies, and windbreakers had to be navy...only navy. Years later, I still have no idea why most of these rules existed.

    Moral: Most schools will try to control your kids in one way or another.

    Although I absolutely agree that a teacher has no right to be partially undressing a student (moving a sweater off her shoulder counts) in order to claim they're breaking the rules. That's be like a teacher shoving gum in my mouth only to turn around and give me detention for chewing gum in class.....with added inappropriate touching.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
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    Here's my daughter's High School Dress Code - below.

    Sounds similar to yours:

    No head gear (hats, caps, earphones, etc)
    No bare midriffs
    No low-cut shirts (at neckline or under arms)
    No pants worn below hips, exposing underwear or skin
    No short shorts or mini skirts
    No skimpy-strapped tank tops or tube tops
    No muscle shirts
    No offensive or obscene language on clothing, pictures or words depicting sex
    drugs alcohol or weapons
    No studded jewelry
    NO EXCEPTIONS
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
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    I think you missed the point that it's becoming nearly impossible to:

    1. Find clothes in the stores that fit the dress code policy.

    Nope, BS flag out again. That's another 15 yards for just flat out lying. Polo shirts, plain t shirts, and jeans. Readily available in most clothing stores if not all. Half the distance to the goal. Repeat outfit selection.

    This would have been more funny had you not been mean to the OP when she's clearly frustrated and just wanting to have people console her and tell her she's not crazyy..
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    There is a bar on Purdue's campus called Harry's Chocolate Shop that was a speakeasy during the prohibition days, masked by a chocolate shop. Its well know for their trademark shirts and sweatshirts so naturally everyone wore them around town and in school.

    Even though the shirt said "Harry's Chocolate Shop" they were banned from my high school. I remember walking down the hall during class one day, being a rebel and wearing my hoodie and passing a principal who was walking towards me. I knew I was Fvcked. Had to wear it inside out the rest of the day.

    I find it funny that teachers would rather make you look like an idiot that wear a shirt from a bar that says chocolate shop.
  • SarahRuthRuns
    SarahRuthRuns Posts: 118 Member
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    OP, how old is your child?

    I have two 15 year olds. This is a high school.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Here's my daughter's High School Dress Code - below.

    Sounds similar to yours:

    No head gear (hats, caps, earphones, etc)
    No bare midriffs
    No low-cut shirts (at neckline or under arms)
    No pants worn below hips, exposing underwear or skin
    No short shorts or mini skirts
    No skimpy-strapped tank tops or tube tops
    No muscle shirts
    No offensive or obscene language on clothing, pictures or words depicting sex
    drugs alcohol or weapons
    No studded jewelry
    NO EXCEPTIONS
    To me, that's a reasonable dress code. Some schools are not so reasonable.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I agree about mostly having an issue with the teachermoving that students sweater to see their strap. What if she's flat chested and wears a camisole instead of a bra? Totally inappropriate and if I was her parents, I'd be marching down there to talk file a complaint.

    I'm curious. What is the punishment if what they wear is against the rules? Could the keep a spare t-shirt in their locker to change into just in case?
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    My daughter just started middle school and while I totally understand most of the dress code, some things are pretty ridiculous. There is a very long list of rules for girls and 2 rules for boys. All this is doing is reinforcing the idea that girls are responsible for boys' actions.

    Best quote at parent orientation night: "We do have a strictly enforced dress code, but it's really for the girls."
  • drangonfly2323
    drangonfly2323 Posts: 197 Member
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    I can relate to an extent as my child is only 8 so the dress code is not very strict yet, but I also know that once she gets to middle school it is going to be extremely hard to find clothes that fit the requirements and are fashionable and easy to find. I spent last night fretting over my daughter's outfit because she wanted to wear these shorts and while in my opinion they are not too short and come past her fingers I still worried that the school still might find them unacceptable.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    the excuse is always " we dont want them to be a distraction"

    so its hot outside & a girl has to make sure she covers her bra strap?? or that her shorts are not too short?? why because you cant teach your boys that women are for themselves not for them?

    Yeah ok keep enforcing the sexualization of young womens bodies wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooo and the shame they should feel over them "dont show that leg honey boys will think things about you"
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
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    I agree about mostly having an issue with the teachermoving that students sweater to see their strap. What if she's flat chested and wears a camisole instead of a bra? Totally inappropriate and if I was her parents, I'd be marching down there to talk file a complaint.

    I'm curious. What is the punishment if what they wear is against the rules? Could the keep a spare t-shirt in their locker to change into just in case?

    It's actually a misdemeanor offense, on the part of a teacher. It's no different from removing someone's pants in order to see if they have underwear on. It's completely illegal. It's a form of assault and character defamation. Depending on the state, these can be felonies, especially when dealing with children.

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