Back to School: Dress Code
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I taught my boys to obey rules whether we like them or not.
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Can I just vent for a moment about school dress codes? The school my daughters attend has gotten so ridiculous about dress code that we spent about 20 minutes last night looking at my daughters chosen outfit and pouring over the dress code policy trying to determine if it was okay or not.
Nobody in their right mind would have looked at her outfit and thought it was inappropriate. Brand new jeans with no holes or tears. A sleeveless top that completely covered the top of her shoulders and was tucked into her jeans... black with small sunflowers all over it.
The only possible problem was that it was a very light sheer material that in the right light was slightly see-through. Because of this, she wore a tank top under it. We ended up telling her not to wear it, even with the tank top under it.
Technically, the dress code policy says that they can't wear anything see-through that shows anything under it, even straps.
Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways...
But, what finally pushed me over the top is this year they added a clause to the actual policy that says that "whether or not something is inappropriate is entirely at their discretion." In the past we have approved (or nixed) their outfits the night before and if they got dinged on dress code my husband would go to the school in person with the dress code in hand and have them either point to the rule that they were breaking or let them off. Now we can't even do that!!
Apparently a girl got in trouble for dress code yesterday because she had a tank top with spaghetti straps (the straps have to be wider than 3 fingers) even though she had a sweater on over it. The teacher actually moved the sweater to see the straps! If you have to move clothing to make the outfit "not dress code", then the outfit is actually okay, right?
The dress code has gotten so strict it's actually difficult to find clothes in the stores that are considered acceptable. At least stylish clothes that the kids want to buy and will actually wear.
I generally don't like uniforms in schools, but I'm almost wishing they were a uniform school now.
Am I crazy to be flipping out over this??
O I see what the problem is...you live in Florida0 -
I'm more worried that a teacher laid a hand on the girl to expose her shoulders!!! Its NOT my daughter and I'm angry that a teacher got away with that!!
My daughter's school wears uniforms, so our dress code, while strict, is easy to follow...it's either uniform or not.0 -
my have times changed! I grew up in Florida and the dress code was to just stay cool! Tank tops were fine. The only things they were ever strict about were crop tops. I'd bee frustrated as well.0
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I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...
This. I have always felt this way and am SO thankful that our boys go to a school that requires uniforms. It is so much simpler and so much less drama.0 -
I think that dress codes like this are completely ridiculous. I remember in high school a girl was made to wear a large plaid shirt out of the lost and found bin because her shirt showed her midriff. So what? Can you not concentrate on teaching or learning because you can see her navel? Give me a ****ing break.
My main issue with dress codes is that while they sometimes apply to men, most of the time it's to have control over what the female students are wearing and that's bull****. You can't try and teach students that everyone has equal rights and sexism is wrong, etc. and then go tell a girl to go home because her shorts are too short and her tank top is actually a spaghetti strap. Like that girl who was sent home from her grad a few months ago because the male chaperones couldn't stop staring at her chest.
I think everyone just needs to grow up. It's not the girls' fault that certain men and boys can't keep from getting excited when they see a girl's mid-thigh or god-forbid, her full shoulder. So scandalous, what will I tell my neighbours?0 -
Wait, your kids are allowed to wear tank tops at all? We couldn't wear shirts with anything less than cap sleeves.0
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All schools here in England have uniforms. My 5 year old even has to wear a tie. Far easier though.
I work in a secondary school and kids still try to push it though.,.short skirts, tight trousers,trainers instead of shoes etc.
Your daughter's school seems a bit OTT though, especially as you're in Florida.0 -
That's crazy. Personally, I'd rather see a girl with narrow straps on her shoulders than a skirt that's only fingertip length. If a girl is wearing a fingertip length skirt, guaranteed you can see her butt when she bends down. Shoulders are not a big deal. Butts are.
That school is stupid. And I agree that teacher needs to get sued for inappropriate touching.
A see through shirt with a tank underneath that covers fully should be fine. A see through shirt without that is inappropriate. Push up bras are inappropriate. Crop tops are inappropriate. Shirts with drugs or alcohol symbols are bad, shirts with violent sayings or images are bad. But layers are good. Especially flowery layers lol.
I have to admit I was glad to hear when schools in my area banned yoga pants and jeggings. At 18, if you want everyone to know what you look like naked without even being naked it's fine, but that's not okay for anyone younger.
I'm a pretty modest person though. And we have enough problems with young pregnancy, so if it helps lol.0 -
I think all schools should just have uniforms...I wore a uniform from 2nd grade until high school...didn't have to worry about any of this nonsense or someone having cooler clothes than you, etc. Everyone looked like a big ****in' nerd. Good old days...
Spent 11 out of 12 years in a khaki uniform. I hated the year I did not have a uniform. I think I wore the same pair of jeans most every day. Glad my kids had to/have to wear uniforms. Makes the morning so much easier. Unless they forget their belts, because my boys seem to have missed the "Remember-the Belt" gene during formation.0 -
Please keep in mind that we live in Florida where tank tops and light, sheer materials are a necessity in August, and most schools have outdoor hallways
Yes, dress codes are a little silly and it's annoying when an institution/workplace has to draw an arbitrary line because some people don't have common sense enough to make their own boundaries in certain situations. That said, I wonder if most objectors to dress codes aren't just lashing out simply because they hate the idea of anyone constraining them. Statements like this kind of hint at that and require the trusty BS flag to come out. Tank tops are a necessity? Let's think about this a moment. Let's say you wear a short sleeved shirt. That's an extra 5-6 inches of material on the shoulders and arms. You're telling me that is going to make walking outside for 3-5 minutes in the outdoor hallways you mentioned so unbearable that it is literally a necessity to wear a tank top instead? Or might there be a weeeeeee bit of exaggeration going on? I'm guessing if your daughter wears shirts with sleeves to school the world might just continue to spin. Anyhow, 15 yards for hyperbole.
Our feels like temp hit 102º at 2pm today. And the sleeves weren't the problem with the shirt, the light material was.0 -
My main issue with dress codes is that while they sometimes apply to men, most of the time it's to have control over what the female students are wearing
While I get where this is coming from, in fairness, boys usually wear long shorts and T-shirts (or some form of that "uniform"). They generally aren't walking around with their scrotums dangling out of their shorts. So I think it's less necessary to have a code for them, and if they were dressing like that, there probably would be one.
We didn't really have a dress code when I was in school and girls and guys all dressed pretty appropriately, There were the occasional short shorts or miniskirts, but even then, you couldn't see a girl's vagina.
After college, I spent a short time as a teacher's aid in a middle school and in my years as a reporter, I went to a lot of school events at schools that didn't have dress codes. Girls were wearing skirts that might as well have been belts.
I can understand certain dress codes, and of course boys shouldn't have their underwear hanging out or be allowed to dress in any less clothing than the girls. But other than wearing their pants below their rear ends, boys don't usually dress in next to nothing, so there's no need to tell them not to.
It isn't appropriate for school. I'm pretty sure I would get sent home (at least) if I showed up to work in tiny shorts and a camisole -- and I live in Florida. Not because my workplace is sexist but because it isn't appropriate. Kids need to learn to dress appropriately for where they are.0 -
Here's my daughter's High School Dress Code - below.
Sounds similar to yours:
No head gear (hats, caps, earphones, etc)
No bare midriffs
No low-cut shirts (at neckline or under arms)
No pants worn below hips, exposing underwear or skin
No short shorts or mini skirts
No skimpy-strapped tank tops or tube tops
No muscle shirts
No offensive or obscene language on clothing, pictures or words depicting sex
drugs alcohol or weapons
No studded jewelry
NO EXCEPTIONS
Their dress code says pants have to be at the waist.0 -
I think you missed the point that it's becoming nearly impossible to:
1. Find clothes in the stores that fit the dress code policy.
Nope, BS flag out again. That's another 15 yards for just flat out lying. Polo shirts, plain t shirts, and jeans. Readily available in most clothing stores if not all. Half the distance to the goal. Repeat outfit selection.
This would have been more funny had you not been mean to the OP when she's clearly frustrated and just wanting to have people console her and tell her she's not crazyy..
Some people just want to argue and will nit pick every word someone else says in order to find something to criticize. It's all good.0 -
I totally agree with how frustrated OP is with the dress code and how hard it is to find appropriate clothing for girls in the store. I have a 13 year old daughter and unless I want to go to a high priced store, I can't find appropriate clothing for her unless I want to buy it online. We are lucky in my school district that they have a dress code but it is not enforced unless it is necessary. My daughter is going into the 8th grade and she is allowed to wear tanks, see through tops with an appropriate body covering tank underneath, skirts/ shorts with leggings underneath so it doesn't show everything, etc. I buy her nothing that I wouldn't wear myself to work, I work in an elementary school in the same district, and make sure that she brings a sweater or hoodie with her every day, just in case. The worst thing that is going to happen, at her school, is the teacher is going to ask her to put her hoodie on, no problem and move on with their day.
As for the teacher who touched the child's clothing to see if she was violating the dress code, the teacher and school should be ashamed of them. An adult at school should NEVER touch a child for any reason unless the child is hurt and/ or out of control and needed to be restrained. I feel as long as a child is covered, whether it be in layers or not, they should be able to attend school without being a distraction to others.0 -
You're telling me that is going to make walking outside for 3-5 minutes in the outdoor hallways you mentioned so unbearable that it is literally a necessity to wear a tank top instead?
In Florida in August (and sometimes April and May)?
Yes.0 -
I agree about mostly having an issue with the teachermoving that students sweater to see their strap. What if she's flat chested and wears a camisole instead of a bra? Totally inappropriate and if I was her parents, I'd be marching down there to talk file a complaint.
I'm curious. What is the punishment if what they wear is against the rules? Could the keep a spare t-shirt in their locker to change into just in case?
They either have to change or, if they have nothing to change into, they sit in the office until the end of the day and miss their classes. They have a write up they give them too, not sure what happens if they get too many of those, if anything.0 -
To me, that's a reasonable dress code. Some schools are not so reasonable.Here's my daughter's High School Dress Code - below.
Sounds similar to yours:
No head gear (hats, caps, earphones, etc)
No bare midriffs
No low-cut shirts (at neckline or under arms)
No pants worn below hips, exposing underwear or skin
No short shorts or mini skirts
No skimpy-strapped tank tops or tube tops
No muscle shirts
No offensive or obscene language on clothing, pictures or words depicting sex
drugs alcohol or weapons
No studded jewelry
NO EXCEPTIONS
I agree. That's almost identical to the dress code we had in my high school in the 90's and according to friends with kids in the same school now, little has changed. It doesn't seem to pose huge issues...and I know they don't even really care if a girl's top is low cut as long as there isn't actual bra showing.
The only difference is back then they had some rules about body piercings (no more than 2 holes in each ear for boys or girls...now the students can have any type of piercings their parents allow, including tongue, facial, gauges, etc) "unnaturally colored hair" that have since eased up. In the 80's and early 90's the dress code stated "no unnaturally colored hair" and some skater kids I knew with pink, purple, green, blue hair were being sent home until one of their dads (a lawyer) made a deal about cheerleaders going blonde unnaturally or having streaks/highlights, and it being the same thing. That was dropped from the dress code and by the time I graduated the only kid who got in trouble for crazy hair was suspended because of a 2 foot Mohawk with Elmer's glue in it that was "disturbing class" and I'd have to say yeah, I kind of understood that.0 -
My daughter wasn't even allowed to wear any type of tank top. They said the shoulders could be a distraction to the other students :noway: :grumble:
Not to mention the restriction on leggings, shorts and "too tight" jeans. But oddly enough, no restrictions for the boys other than no tank tops.
While I understand a need for dress codes these days, I think some districts are taking it way too far. I understand your frustration and I don't think you're crazy.0 -
School is a place that is supposed to set students up for success. They are there to learn, to grow, and to slowly become adults. Most students will grow up to be adults and most adults will have a job for the majority of their life. Most jobs will require you to wear modest clothing and not have any of you underwear showing (bra straps, saggy pants...).
Teaching children to dress appropriately should be the responsibility of parents, but like so many other things, the school now has to take that on as their responsibility as common sense becomes less common.
I don't have a problem with the dress code and I think there are different types of clothing that are appropriate at different places.0
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