I think MFP is turning into a disorder for me.

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ahawkx
ahawkx Posts: 52 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I can't NOT count everything. I was supposed to start maintaining 15 weeks ago after getting pregnant, so I upped all my macros and I still log daily (except weekends, where I still remain under cal amount but I ignore macros). I continued to lose weight even at 2000cals/day and cutting back considerably in the gym. I was 155lbs when I got pregnant, now I stay between 142-144lbs. You read that right, I lost over 10lbs since I got pregnant (to be fair morning sickness did not help, I was eating, it just wasn't sticking).

The problem is, I can't cheat! I have those macro numbers in my head and I feel SO GUILTY if they are even a little bit off. I ate a s'mores sometime last week out of pregnancy craving madness, I kept telling myself it was fine, it was just one, one time! Nope, I sure hopped my butt up on that elliptical I hate so much for an hour that night.

I see everyone else around just able to eat normal, grab a banana and not think ohhh 30g carbs :( - this is even when I have enough cals to fit a banana, I hate to go over on carbs especially when I already eat 230g daily which seems to be a lot for most.. I could eat more.. haha.

I am pregnant, but the whole reason I got fat in the first place was gaining 60-70lbs each my first two pregnancies. I don't want that to happen again! I am starting to feel like counting is making food the enemy. I have an unhealthy relationship towards food. I will open the MFP app several times a day just to see what food I will get to eat in anticipation (I pre-plan the entire week).

I feel like I should just stop. Just stop and eat as my pregnant body wants to. Problem with that is now that I KNOW what portions should look like and I know the cals/macros of pretty much everything - I don't think it is possible. I can never sit down to a big ole bowl of cereal again. I can eyeball 55g easy.

I think I was happier being fat. Truly.
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Replies

  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    If you are feeling obsessed, you need to step away. MFP is simply a tool to use in your journey. If it's becoming something you can't get away from, it's advisable that you seek someone who who can help with obsessive disorders.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    If you are feeling obsessed, you need to step away. MFP is simply a tool to use in your journey. If it's becoming something you can't get away from, it's advisable that you seek someone who who can help with obsessive disorders.

    yup.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    :frown: :flowerforyou:
  • christinalong1991
    christinalong1991 Posts: 74 Member
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    You are actually supposed to be gaining 1-2 lbs a week throughout your pregnancy, 60-70 lbs isn't that unreasonable... especially since your starting off at a healthier weight. I don't think forcing yourself to spend an hour after the elliptical after eating ONE smores is going to be good for you or your baby!! I think you should speak with your doctor and probably a therapist, this sounds like an unhealthy take for someone not pregnant, but adding a pregnancy to that it is very very risky. for the sake of your baby, change your mentality! You need carbs, carbs are not the devil. They provide energy to you, your body, your brain, your baby, you should be eating more. Those macro counts should actually be different during pregnancny and you shouldn't just be eating at maintenance during your pregnancy. Go talk to your doctor to learn how you should be eating right now, and how much, and then become obsessive with HEALTHY habits during pregnancy, because what your doing now isn't healthy.
  • Joanjett88
    Joanjett88 Posts: 87 Member
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    I think it might be wise for you to step away for a while, especially being pregnant. You are SUPPOSED to gain weight and keep that baby healthy! I know after a long journey of weight loss it is hard to switch gears.

    I often find myself obsessing over MFP, checking what food I have available for the day (I also log about a week out in advance, helps with meal planning too), checking TDEE calculations, etc etc over and over. I have to remind myself that weight loss/gain doesn't happen over night and take a step back and keep a positive attitude.
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    You are actually supposed to be gaining 1-2 lbs a week throughout your pregnancy, 60-70 lbs isn't that unreasonable... especially since your starting off at a healthier weight. I don't think forcing yourself to spend an hour after the elliptical after eating ONE smores is going to be good for you or your baby!! I think you should speak with your doctor and probably a therapist, this sounds like an unhealthy take for someone not pregnant, but adding a pregnancy to that it is very very risky. for the sake of your baby, change your mentality! You need carbs, carbs are not the devil. They provide energy to you, your body, your brain, your baby, you should be eating more. Those macro counts should actually be different during pregnancny and you shouldn't just be eating at maintenance during your pregnancy. Go talk to your doctor to learn how you should be eating right now, and how much, and then become obsessive with HEALTHY habits during pregnancy, because what your doing now isn't healthy.

    Nulliparous here... But I don't think that amount of weight gain is accurate for pregnancy. I've read more along the lines of 25-35lbs for pregnancy.
  • ahawkx
    ahawkx Posts: 52 Member
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    I don't think it is unhealthy either though. If you look at my diary - I eat very well and I don't exactly go without. I eat pizza. I eat fruits and veggies everyday. I eat whatever the heck I want to on weekends as long as I stay under cals.
    I am not sure what maintaince is for me so I just upped my cal intake by 300 when I got pregnant. My doctor also said I shouldn't add calories until at least second trimester, you don't need extra in the first.

    I should have also mentioned I had gestational diabetes (was still almost prediabetic afterwards) and am high risk for it again so I AM supposed to be watching/counting/spacing carbs, as much as I love them.
  • ahawkx
    ahawkx Posts: 52 Member
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    I think it might be wise for you to step away for a while, especially being pregnant. You are SUPPOSED to gain weight and keep that baby healthy! I know after a long journey of weight loss it is hard to switch gears.

    I often find myself obsessing over MFP, checking what food I have available for the day (I also log about a week out in advance, helps with meal planning too), checking TDEE calculations, etc etc over and over. I have to remind myself that weight loss/gain doesn't happen over night and take a step back and keep a positive attitude.

    Definitely sounds like me!
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    If you are feeling obsessed, you need to step away. MFP is simply a tool to use in your journey. If it's becoming something you can't get away from, it's advisable that you seek someone who who can help with obsessive disorders.

    yup.

    This,

    but let me give you some words of comfort. You and I are the same height and weigh about the same when I got pregnant. I lost weight in the first trimester just due to having morning sickness all the time. My doctor told me that I shouldn't worry because weight gain sometimes doesn't happen until the second trimester.

    With that said, have full disclosure with your ob/gyn when it comes to this. My doctor told me that if I wasn't eating enough, the growing baby's needs would be met before my own. No weight gain is common in the first trimester, but losing weight isn't. And for someone within a normal weight range like yourself, it is a little disconcerting.
  • Joanjett88
    Joanjett88 Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    I think it might be wise for you to step away for a while, especially being pregnant. You are SUPPOSED to gain weight and keep that baby healthy! I know after a long journey of weight loss it is hard to switch gears.

    I often find myself obsessing over MFP, checking what food I have available for the day (I also log about a week out in advance, helps with meal planning too), checking TDEE calculations, etc etc over and over. I have to remind myself that weight loss/gain doesn't happen over night and take a step back and keep a positive attitude.

    Definitely sounds like me!

    Lol! I thought the same when I read your OP. :laugh:
  • sculli123
    sculli123 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Seems more common than one would think. I know several people with the same issues. Personally i don't get it because I'm not in that same boat but I know a lot of people are. Seems like most of them with that problem had some kind of pre-existing eating disorder to begin with though. You might want to just take a break from couting and focus on portion control and the mirror instead of calories and the scale. That's what a few of the ones I know with that issue have started doing.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    I don't think it is unhealthy either though. If you look at my diary - I eat very well and I don't exactly go without. I eat pizza. I eat fruits and veggies everyday. I eat whatever the heck I want to on weekends as long as I stay under cals.
    I am not sure what maintaince is for me so I just upped my cal intake by 300 when I got pregnant. My doctor also said I shouldn't add calories until at least second trimester, you don't need extra in the first.

    I should have also mentioned I had gestational diabetes (was still almost prediabetic afterwards) and am high risk for it again so I AM supposed to be watching/counting/spacing carbs, as much as I love them.

    If you are losing weight then add calories until you stop losing weight. And stop being so focused on the macros and calories. The macros you set up for yourself are guidelines. For me, protein is an absolute minimum, but I am really not all that careful about how my carbs and fats fall. If you have to watch your carbs, then you may choose to log with an eye on your carbs instead, and then let fat and protein fall as they will.

    Looking at your diary, it looks like you are not eating back your exercise calories, or at least not enough of them. If you are using MFP's net method instead of TDEE then eat back your calories in full and monitor your results. If you keep losing, increase your cals by another 100, keep doing this until you stabilize or start gaining.

    And as far as weight management goes, what you eat doesn't matter. I personally advise that you get the idea of "good/bad/healthy/junk" etc out of your head and maintain your weekend mentality throughout the week. This will help you get past any guilt you'd feel for eating something "bad" because you were craving it.
  • keefmac
    keefmac Posts: 313 Member
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    Put your diet on hold and eat for both of you. Your growing child is your main responsibility now; not your weight.

    Children change everything (for the better!), enjoy being a mother.
  • ahawkx
    ahawkx Posts: 52 Member
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    This,

    but let me give you some words of comfort. You and I are the same height and weigh about the same when I got pregnant. I lost weight in the first trimester just due to having morning sickness all the time. My doctor told me that I shouldn't worry because weight gain sometimes doesn't happen until the second trimester.

    With that said, have full disclosure with your ob/gyn when it comes to this. My doctor told me that if I wasn't eating enough, the growing baby's needs would be met before my own. No weight gain is common in the first trimester, but losing weight isn't. And for someone within a normal weight range like yourself, it is a little disconcerting.

    I was eating enough, but like you - I had terrible morning sickness because this is actually a surrogacy and I was on added hormones, making morning sickness almost inevitable. I lost weight because of it, not because of what I was/wasn't eating. I have maintained the last three weeks though, no weight loss! That being said I didn't gain weight til second tri with my first two either and then I really packed 'em on...
  • radmack
    radmack Posts: 272 Member
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    From womenshealth.gov

    ***********
    Weight gain

    The amount of weight you should gain during pregnancy depends on your body mass index (BMI) before you became pregnant. The Institute of Medicine provides these guidelines:

    If you were at a normal weight before pregnancy, you should gain about 25 to 30 pounds.
    If you were underweight before pregnancy, you should gain between 28 and 40 pounds.
    If you were overweight before pregnancy, you should gain between 15 and 25 pounds.
    If you were obese before pregnancy, you should gain between 11 and 20 pounds.

    Check with your doctor to find out how much weight gain during pregnancy is healthy for you.

    You should gain weight gradually during your pregnancy, with most of the weight gained in the last trimester. Generally, doctors suggest women gain weight at the following rate:

    2 to 4 pounds total during the first trimester
    3 to 4 pounds per month for the second and third trimesters

    *************
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    You are actually supposed to be gaining 1-2 lbs a week throughout your pregnancy, 60-70 lbs isn't that unreasonable... especially since your starting off at a healthier weight.

    Not true. It's 20-25 pounds.
    Here is an approximate breakdown of your weight gain:

    Baby: 7-8 pounds
    Placenta: 1-2 pounds
    Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds
    Uterus: 2 pounds
    Breast tissue: 2 pounds
    Additional blood/tissue fluid: 4 pounds
    Maternal fat and nutrient stores: 7 pounds

    If a woman does not gain weight throughout pregnancy, complications such as a low-birth weight or premature delivery could occur. Babies who are born to mothers who do not gain at least 20 pounds are often small for gestational age. They have symptoms of being malnourished during pregnancy.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    Search for Loni Jane stuff while she was pregnant. it proves that YOU do not need to put on weight while pregnant to have a healthy baby. It's your baby that needs the weight not you.

    Anyway she was a totally fruit diet while pregnant & her baby came out as healthy as any normal baby.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    Unfortunately, using MFP like you are doing is going to fuel the obsessive nature. Now would probably be a good time to practice getting in touch with your body's signals and eating according to them and letting go of the calorie counting. You'll still have those thoughts, but the more you can step away from checking behaviors like checking MFP the looser the hold of those thoughts will become. Remember, you have gotten really good at this and if you choose to you can get right back on MFP after your pregnancy.
  • cuckoo_jenibeth
    cuckoo_jenibeth Posts: 1,434 Member
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    I lost 11 pounds in my first trimester without a single bout of morning sickness. This was way before I had weight issues! I only gained 3 of the 11 back & left the hospital 25# less than before pregnant. Me & baby were healthy, just how my body handled pregnancy.
    Talk to your doctor. Tell him/her everything you have told us. Make a plan together.
  • ajff
    ajff Posts: 986 Member
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    Everything I would say, the above posters have already said. Except for:


    Congratulations! And what a wonderful gift to be a surrogate mom! Give yourself a break, do what feels right for you and your baby!

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