Is saying you look like you're buffer a compliment?

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Workout4Health
Workout4Health Posts: 447 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have this issue sometimes. When I lose weight, I'm able to fit in smaller shirts and sometimes instead of saying, ''you've lost'' it's ''you look buffer, like you been working out.'' And in some ways they may be right, but I'm not bulkier. Bulkier is when you bulk up with calories and weights.

The reason why I don't know if it's a compliment is because I remember many years ago when I gained tons of weight after being depressed. And the change was obvious, though not everyone even brought it up. Instead, they told me that it looked like I was working out. Some actually believed it. When i had gained almost 50 pounds from inactivity and stuffing myself, some even asked me if I was on steroids. Because before that weight gain is when I was really working out a lot. But after the weight gain, that's when people commented on my size and would tell me I looked huge, but most of them really meant it as in bulking.

In a way I was much stronger when I tried working out again. But I was also extremely sluggish and couldn't even jog a lap without feeling like I was gonna pass out.

So I guess that's a problem I have, that even when I lose weight they think I got ''bigger'' as in muscles. I'm not sure if that's a compliment. I used to want that many years ago when I was really young, but now I just care about overall fitness and getting in shape. I have this uncle that has told me I look bigger every single time he sees me. He says ''more than ever'' every single time even if the reverse is true.

So now when someone has been asking me if I've been lifting weights, I almost get offended.

Replies

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    To me, it sounds like a self esteem problem. It also sounds like you are not taking another person's compliment at face value.
  • potluck965
    potluck965 Posts: 529 Member
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    It sounds like maybe you are blessed with a good physique, for which you should be grateful. Gain or lose, you apparently still look good.

    That is one advantage of youth. Sadly, as you age it is much harder to keep that physique up.

    It is hard, but you need to pay no attention to what others say. Unless they are horrible mean people, they are most likely trying to help. Just let it roll off you and do what you know is best for you.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    It's a compliment. Maybe that's how it just appears (which is great -- lose fat and existing muscle shows), but also lots of people are uncomfortable to say anything about fat loss, so saying you look like you have been working out or are buff is just a way that seems less potentially offensive to open the topic, I bet.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I initially read this as "butter". :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • brandnewsnickerpuss
    brandnewsnickerpuss Posts: 111 Member
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    Also, I think there is this thing where it's okay to say to a woman, "Oh, you're getting so skinny!" while, somehow, on the other hand, it's not okay to say that to a man.
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
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    Also, I think there is this thing where it's okay to say to a woman, "Oh, you're getting so skinny!" while, somehow, on the other hand, it's not okay to say that to a man.

    Odd but true...
    One of my co-workers called me skinny yesterday, made me want to kick him right in the jimmies...

    Edit: Sorry I neglected to answer the OP, to me being "Buffer" is a compliment, and honestly so is skinny. Perception is everything...
  • lokepa
    lokepa Posts: 204 Member
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    I have this issue sometimes. When I lose weight, I'm able to fit in smaller shirts and sometimes instead of saying, ''you've lost'' it's ''you look buffer, like you been working out.'' And in some ways they may be right, but I'm not bulkier. Bulkier is when you bulk up with calories and weights.

    The reason why I don't know if it's a compliment is because I remember many years ago when I gained tons of weight after being depressed. And the change was obvious, though not everyone even brought it up. Instead, they told me that it looked like I was working out. Some actually believed it. When i had gained almost 50 pounds from inactivity and stuffing myself, some even asked me if I was on steroids. Because before that weight gain is when I was really working out a lot. But after the weight gain, that's when people commented on my size and would tell me I looked huge, but most of them really meant it as in bulking.

    In a way I was much stronger when I tried working out again. But I was also extremely sluggish and couldn't even jog a lap without feeling like I was gonna pass out.

    So I guess that's a problem I have, that even when I lose weight they think I got ''bigger'' as in muscles. I'm not sure if that's a compliment. I used to want that many years ago when I was really young, but now I just care about overall fitness and getting in shape. I have this uncle that has told me I look bigger every single time he sees me. He says ''more than ever'' every single time even if the reverse is true.

    So now when someone has been asking me if I've been lifting weights, I almost get offended.

    If, in your weight loss, you're showing more definition, they may not be recognizing the loss, but what they believe is muscle growth. I've had folks say, "Looks like you're losing weight" when I was at my heaviest and wore a different suit jacket, and others ask if I was working out because I wore a short sleeve shirt... Worry not... I trust they make the comments with the best of intentions (just ignore the adage that the road to hell is paved with good intentions). :drinker:
  • kingjabou
    kingjabou Posts: 48 Member
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    I have this issue sometimes. When I lose weight, I'm able to fit in smaller shirts and sometimes instead of saying, ''you've lost'' it's ''you look buffer, like you been working out.'' And in some ways they may be right, but I'm not bulkier. Bulkier is when you bulk up with calories and weights.

    The reason why I don't know if it's a compliment is because I remember many years ago when I gained tons of weight after being depressed. And the change was obvious, though not everyone even brought it up. Instead, they told me that it looked like I was working out. Some actually believed it. When i had gained almost 50 pounds from inactivity and stuffing myself, some even asked me if I was on steroids. Because before that weight gain is when I was really working out a lot. But after the weight gain, that's when people commented on my size and would tell me I looked huge, but most of them really meant it as in bulking.

    In a way I was much stronger when I tried working out again. But I was also extremely sluggish and couldn't even jog a lap without feeling like I was gonna pass out.

    So I guess that's a problem I have, that even when I lose weight they think I got ''bigger'' as in muscles. I'm not sure if that's a compliment. I used to want that many years ago when I was really young, but now I just care about overall fitness and getting in shape. I have this uncle that has told me I look bigger every single time he sees me. He says ''more than ever'' every single time even if the reverse is true.

    So now when someone has been asking me if I've been lifting weights, I almost get offended.

    I have noticed that when I wear better fitted clothing I look much different physically than from my daily tee shirts and shorts. I would look at it as a compliment if it is coming from people who usually see you in your normal attire.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    'You're buffer' as in more buff, is definitely a compliment :wink:
    While 'you're a fatass' is not :laugh:

    hitom.gif
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,295 Member
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    most would take that as a compliment. some people lose weight and look skinny and weak…and just a smaller version of their fat selves. when someone says you look more buff that means you look fit and muscular. what guy wouldn't want that?
  • Lord007
    Lord007 Posts: 338 Member
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    I'm with the consensus.
    "Buffer" is a compliment. More buff= more fit/muscular.
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Better buffer than drowned.
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
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    'You're buffer' as in more buff, is definitely a compliment :wink:
    While 'you're a fatass' is not :laugh:

    hitom.gif

    Omg omgggg stop if with that Tom Hardy gif. I can't. :love:

    OP: People don't say things like "you look like you're working out / you look buff" and not mean it. It's kind of a very speicfic compliment. Be glad. They're being serious.
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    I initially read this as "butter". :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Me too. LOL
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    Yes, it's a compliment. You're going to get a lot of them. :)
  • MaidensAndMonsters
    MaidensAndMonsters Posts: 89
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    I would be super happy to be told I look buffer :)

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