Fat B*tch

So tonight I was walking around campus with a friend, and some drunk jerk called me a fat b*tch from the window of his passing car. There were some other phrases there too, about how my friend only hung out with me to make her look good (she's probably a size 6/8). I just, I don't know. It really upset me, and it's causing me to cry. I know that it shouldn't upset me this much--that they were just the harsh words of a drunk person that doesn't know me, but I can't help but cry. I don't want to feel this way and hate the way that I look, but I do. Having a stranger point out my flaws is just the bitter icing on an already awful cake. How do other people deal with this? Especially when they are ongoing a weight loss journey?
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Replies

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I'm sorry that happened to you, drunks can be idiots. Everywhere.

    Maybe you need a hug?



    ...




    giphy.gif


    just kidding here's a real one...

    176443_UNOPT_safe_rainbow-dash_animated_scootaloo_hug_gif_spoiler-s03e06.gif
  • aloveoffrogs
    aloveoffrogs Posts: 5 Member
    Thanks! The ponies made me smile :)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    awww that was really nice of MyChocolateDiet :-) How cute.

    OP, eff that drunk dude and his stupid comment. He's nothing.
  • ABabilonia
    ABabilonia Posts: 622 Member
    You just have to learn to love yourself the way you arre, and never let a drunk idiot, or anyone for that matter, upset you or make you feel bad about yourself.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Welcome to the ***** club! I was called one yesterday! It is just a word, and it reflects more on the person saying it than it does on you. :heart:
  • SandyBVTN
    SandyBVTN Posts: 367 Member
    Oh my God, what a jerk. I am so incredibly sorry that happened to you. I know that you logically understand that the guy is just some loser whose opinion shouldn't matter, but that probably doesn't make it hurt less.

    Hugs.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    sorry that happened to you OP, that guy's a jerk. dont let those people get you down.

    :flowerforyou:
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
    Welcome to the ***** club! I was called one yesterday! It is just a word, and it reflects more on the person saying it than it does on you. :heart:

    ^^^This!! When I was in school random girls would call me fat right to my face and laugh. I was 5'6" 135. I believed them. I know now the problem wasn't me; it was them. Whenever somebody says something nasty about someone else, it's always them and not the target that's the problem. If you can keep that in your heart you'll be okay. :flowerforyou:
  • aloveoffrogs
    aloveoffrogs Posts: 5 Member
    Thanks for all the support! I was crying tears of sadness, but you all made them good tears! Thanks so much!
  • MMarvelous
    MMarvelous Posts: 1,067 Member
    It is NEVER what you are called but what you ANSWER to. My response "Are you mom and gma around?"
  • srr728
    srr728 Posts: 549 Member
    if thats the best he can come up with hes def not worth losing sleep over. Ive become quite sassy and um creative in my responses. But def dont let an idiot, especially a stranger upset you!
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    Jerks can be such jerks! ;)

    Really though...don't let someone like that get you down.

    I've always remembered what I heard someone say:

    "I may be fat, but you're ugly. And I can go on a diet"

    Screw that drunk jerk!
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    I was riding my bike once and a car full of jerks yelled out "Hey fata$$, get on the sidewalk!" One, you're not supposed to ride a bike on a sidewalk and two, DUH I know I'm fat, that's why I'm riding my bike!

    People are pricks.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    He probably has a small d***
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
    Thanks for all the support! I was crying tears of sadness, but you all made them good tears! Thanks so much!

    I take it and I re-channel it into an "I'll show you *hole" attitude and workout harder. Not that you want him to ever be around to see you when you succeed. You'll be slim and in shape and he'll be drunk with a beer gut.
  • Miss_1999
    Miss_1999 Posts: 747 Member
    First of all *BIG HUGS* I am so sorry. I know things like that are hurtful to hear. It took me a VERY long time to understand, and realize that when people are just walking around, being generally ugly human beings (I don't mean looks- words/actions) it's usually because they're so miserable with themselves or their situation, that it's the only way they know how to process things- by being hurtful to others. Some use it as a defense mechanism, others use it to try to make them feel good about themselves, but at the end of the day, they're simply miserable because they don't deal with their pain. Then, you've got some people that are just horrible, mean spirited people, and it's such a shame that they're the way they are, but luckily, you don't have to live like that. Kindness doesn't cost a thing- sprinkle that **** everywhere. I feel sorry for mean people. I just can't imagine what kind of life they must live bringing misery to others.

    You hold your head high, know you're doing your best. *BIG HUGS* Keep up the good work!
  • Fiercely_Me
    Fiercely_Me Posts: 481 Member
    He probably has a small d***

    QFT
  • ChildrenCryinNCoffee
    ChildrenCryinNCoffee Posts: 477 Member
    I just bought a bicycle last month. The first evening I took it for a ride, I wasn't even four blocks from my house when some stupid SOB yelled "Pedal faster you fat c**t!" from his passing truck.

    Shock hit me first, then a little anger bubbled, but I quickly decided against screaming back at him, because the last thing I needed was him to pull a U-turn and physically assault me. I shook my head and told myself "I can lose weight and not be fat. But no matter how hard he tries, he'll always be a d**k." and I kept riding for 7 more miles.

    Point being, the world is FULL of idiots that don't have a censor and claim it's just them being honest to cover up the honest fact that they're just cruel for some sort of superior feeling out of it.

    You HAVE to be stronger, you have to, for you. You have to ignore things. You can't change people. You can't control things or people. And like others have said, what they say/scream at you, says more about themselves, than it will ever say about you.
  • Betherz82
    Betherz82 Posts: 200 Member
    Hugs. Oh wow hun I'm so sorry. That's total unnecessary b.s. that you didn't need. People can be cruel. Just remember that the reason that drunk idiot decided to pick on you is most likely because he feels like *kitten* about himself.

    Try to brush the creeper off. What he said doesn't matter a tinker's damn in the grand scheme of your life. You are doing things to better yourself and that should give you all the warm fuzzies you need to chin up and remember that no matter what, you got this.

    Your health and physique will be better because of the efforts you're putting in. In 20 years that guy will still be a d*uche but hopefully karma will take care of that.
  • mygnsac
    mygnsac Posts: 13,413 Member
    I know words can hurt, but idiots like that aren't worthy of a second thought. Just brush it off...really, physically brush your shoulders and then never give them another thought.
  • buzzardsrule
    buzzardsrule Posts: 183 Member
    Point being, the world is FULL of idiots that don't have a censor and claim it's just them being honest to cover up the honest fact that they're just cruel for some sort of superior feeling out of it.

    You HAVE to be stronger, you have to, for you. You have to ignore things. You can't change people. You can't control things or people. And like others have said, what they say/scream at you, says more about themselves, than it will ever say about you.


    This 100%
  • poodlenoodlemuffin
    poodlenoodlemuffin Posts: 23 Member
    That really sucks. Nasty people are one of the reasons I go everywhere with headphones on. Trickier to do that when you're with people though.

    On the occasions the random abusive strangers were close enough to respond to, and I was feeling strong enough to do more than scuttle off, I'd try and respond with something like "I'm sorry no one loves you, but please don't take it out on me".
  • Catter_05
    Catter_05 Posts: 155 Member
    What is wrong with people? Seriously?! You gotta wonder, wasn't there anything he could have been doing besides harassing random women and killing the few brain cells that are still functioning in his head. Don't worry about cruel people like him. I know it's hurtful, but ask yourself, do you really care what some jerk like him thinks anyway?
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
    B*tch=
    Babe
    In
    Total
    Control of
    Herself

    OR

    Beautiful
    Intelligent
    Talented
    Charming
    Hell of a woman

    I know they are kinda cliche, but I always loved those two acronyms. I had a professor once (who taught us the top one) who said that anybody who calls a woman a b*tch it's because he (or she) can't handle a woman who has her *kitten* together. The person who yelled that at you obviously falls into that category.
  • Mohana94
    Mohana94 Posts: 54
    One time I went cycling at the beach with a few friends and someone pointed at me and shouted the tyre is going to puncture and burst .. basically implying I was too fat to cycle and that my weight was going to crush the bike. I was so humiliated and I never went back to cycle there :(

    Even though he's just a drunk jerk the words still hurt :( Just remember that you are beautiful and worth it and never let these dumb comments from *kitten* like that jerk discourage you. :flowerforyou:
  • bezerkus
    bezerkus Posts: 79 Member
    As my Dad always said about people like that : "No Brain, No Pain".
  • It's the epitome of toughness though - shouting insults from a moving car, surrounded by your mates.
  • AshleyCraig54
    AshleyCraig54 Posts: 16 Member
    I'm sorry that happened to you :( It's a terrible, terrible feeling that propagates self-loathing.
    I know.
    It happened to me once when I was at my heaviest, around 250lbs, and I was in a convenience store with friends. Another person in the store nudged his friend and pointed to me and said "look at that fat f---ing whale over there, hahahahaha" and the two of them laughed and laughed.
    I hung my head in shame and walked out the door, and my one friend followed me, after not-so-politely telling them off. When he caught up to me he told me "If the worst problem you have in the world is that you are heavier than some other people... well I think you are lucky. And I think I'm even luckier to know you as my friend."
    I recalled those words every other time I felt judged. It doesn't take away the hurt, or the feelings of self-loathing, but it does take away the sting and it definitely gave me perspective.
  • MaryHuckleberry
    MaryHuckleberry Posts: 19 Member
    People who yell stuff like that feel horribly inadequate inside and they are just mean people period. You walk tall and proud honey. Have you ever read Caitlin's Moran's How to Be a Women or Maya Angelou's Why the Caged Bird Sings? Both are great reads and very empowering. Also, I work on a campus and the other day our office secretary who is 22 and slim was heckled by a couple of sorority girls just because she happened to be near them at the time. Have a great semester kiddo and don't let any idiot every get you down.
  • stefboston83
    stefboston83 Posts: 8 Member
    A love of frogs:

    I would use that **** for motivation. Don't let some *kitten* make you feel bad. He probably has a tiny co#k and that made him feel better. Just keep going buddy.