Reached Goal Weight But...

So I've finally reached my goal weight but I'm being told I look anorexic which is really knocking my confidence. I'm 5'7 and weigh 113lbs I started at 143lbs but my family and fiance say I looked so much better before. I wasn't happy at 143lbs because I felt huge and at 113lbs I feel like less of a woman since i've lost all my curves. I was full figured before and now I get told I look like a stick :frown: what do you guys think am I too thin for my height? how can I get back my curves thicker thighs bigger butt etc without gaining fat around the middle. My fiance wants me to put atleast another 10-15lbs back on but I feel that would be too much please help...
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Replies

  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    You are way underweight

    But you know, and people who love you have told you that too that so I'm not sure what you are looking for.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Well...from my own experience at 5'6" and 115 lbs. years ago, that was very thin. If you are interested in gaining weight, I would suggest eating at a surplus while weight training.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    While I agree that you are underweight, I think the opinions will vary from person to person, specially if due to lack of pictures.

    If you felt huge before, maybe it was because your body fat percentage was higher. Have you looked into trying to weight lift. It doesn't make you bulky but does give you a nice figure. Heres some proof of that in this thread.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/987513-lifting-is-the-most-horrible-thing-to-a-woman-since-twiggy
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    I can't see what you look like…. I don't know…113 seems low weight..but many people lose to the bottom level of the weight chart.

    Be careful of people telling you to gain all your weight back. Family and partners will do that because they want the old you and might even feel threatened that you have changed. Look at the weight chart and face the truth.. it it says you are underweight you are.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    She is clinically underweight for her height

    She says she has lost all her curves

    Her boyfriend thinks she's too thin

    I think from the information given there is no question
  • RWTBR
    RWTBR Posts: 140 Member
    Are these other people fat? Something I have noticed, which is really pathetic, is that almost everyone in the developed world is obese now. And. because they are all obese, society is starting to judge normal weight people as "anorexic" and now fat is considered normal and healthy. If these people are not thin, you should take their words with a grain of salt. Also, it could be jealousy. Don't let them mess up your goals, and as long as your BMI is above 18.5, don't gain any weight back.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    You should see a doctor, IMO...
  • janeypoosandbob
    janeypoosandbob Posts: 85 Member
    Are these other people fat? Something I have noticed, which is really pathetic, is that almost everyone in the developed world is obese now. And. because they are all obese, society is starting to judge normal weight people as "anorexic" and now fat is considered normal and healthy. If these people are not thin, you should take their words with a grain of salt. Also, it could be jealousy. Don't let them mess up your goals, and as long as your BMI is above 18.5, don't gain any weight back.

    A BMI of 18.5 is way too low! Health professionals in an ED unit would want at least 22 for health.
  • janeypoosandbob
    janeypoosandbob Posts: 85 Member
    OP your BMI is 17.7 which is into the 'underweight' sector.
    So you ARE underweight. If you cannot see it I would honestly suggest you go to your doctor. Please :flowerforyou:
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  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    My fiance wants me to put atleast another 10-15lbs back on but I feel that would be too much please help...

    EAT
  • mangogirl272727
    mangogirl272727 Posts: 95 Member
    S
  • mangogirl272727
    mangogirl272727 Posts: 95 Member
    Are these other people fat? Something I have noticed, which is really pathetic, is that almost everyone in the developed world is obese now. And. because they are all obese, society is starting to judge normal weight people as "anorexic" and now fat is considered normal and healthy. If these people are not thin, you should take their words with a grain of salt. Also, it could be jealousy. Don't let them mess up your goals, and as long as your BMI is above 18.5, don't gain any weight back.

    She is at a BMI of 17.7, so clinically underweight. 17.5 is clinically anorexic. And btw for MOST people, and especially most women, 18.5 will be too low. "Healthy" is basically a bell-curve across the healthy range of the bmi chart. So the number of people for who are healthy at bmi 18.5 is relatively small. Most people are healthiest at bmi 20-23. She had a bmi 22.4 to begin with before she even lost any weight. Do a little research before you start giving dangerous advice about concerned loved ones being "fat and jealous."

    OP, You need to gain some weight back. Weight training will probably make you feel a lot better about the weight that comes back on as it will be more muscle and less fat. That said, women do need to maintain a certain percentage of bodyfat to be healthy (this is ESSENTIAL to bone, endocrine, and reproductive health).
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
    I'm about the same height as you, and my goal weight is 2lbs above where you started. I'm guessing we have a frame size difference, but even still, I know the ranges and you're clinically underweight and close to the line where doctors begin to diagnose eating disorders.

    If people in your life who genuinely care about you are commenting, they're doing it for a reason. People's weights are touchy topics and for your family to comment negatively and express concern means just that: they're concerned.

    I really recommend that you meet with a doctor to find out what they feel would be a healthy weight for you and discuss your options for getting there and importantly find out your body fat percentages (because you might not be far from losing your period, hair, etc).

    If you want to keep your body fat low, but increase your size, eat at a small increase above your TDEE and do weight lifting (likely you'll have to start with body weight, not heavy lifting) under the guidance of a personal trainer until you have good form, and then work on building muscle. You can't exclusively add muscle without fat, but if you're keeping your protein high and eating at a small surplus you'll be able to put on less fat.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    Yep.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • persistentsoul
    persistentsoul Posts: 268 Member
    Without a picture to see it is hard to be certain but unless you are very small framed that does sound under weight. I agree with what others have said. Eat more and increase excersise and strength training if concerned about being flabby. Being heavier but solid can be lots better than a particular number on scales and maybe being unhappy due to percieved fat bits. Your fiance knows your body, listen to him. Women naturally are meant to have some curves and soft bits. If it is speciffically your tummy than concerns you work on core muscle strengthening and maybe explore if particular foods are causing bloating. Grains and potato for example give me extra bloat. Eat healthy good quality protien, mix of veg and some fruit. Don't be afraid of eating healthy fats. Stay away from eating processed junk most of time and you will be healthy and look great. If you get in to strengthening your body you will probably find you can eat more without having to worry about getting too fatty. Just keep upping good quality food intake until you gain a healthy amount of wieght and find an activity level that keeps your body in a good healthy place. Be strong and healthy not just a target number on scale.

    I just looked at your profile and your last post was about being concerned you had missed your period when it was due, you thought it might be due to cutting out meat. It is more likely due to losing too much weight. Speak to your doctor. I can understand maybe you were unhappy at 143lb but probably you just needed a bit of toning up or 10lb loss or even a gain but of lean muscle. It sounds like you have taken things too far and need someone to help you. You clearly have a very strong will, it maybe just needs a bit of a tweak in the way you are applying it. Let the people who love you help you. Talk about things with them.
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
    That is very thin for your height. My sister is 5'7 and she would be thin at 143. I think that you should think about heavy lifting. Eat in a surplus to gain weight. Muscle and some fat. You will have awesome curves that way.
  • EuroDivas
    EuroDivas Posts: 93 Member
    This is a very hard question to answer for someone else as we all see ourselves differently in the mirror and it is hard to tell someone else what body they should be in. The question you have to ask yourself is "Do I like myself the way I am right now". If you are happy with your new body then keep it. You will have to find a way of getting your partner to accept it. You might have to come to some sort of compromise depending on whether or not you are wanting to change you.
  • janine2355
    janine2355 Posts: 628 Member
    you need to see a DR. You are extremely underweight, and I'm sorry but you have low self esteem and self image. You may want to talk to a profesional too. please.
  • georgiaTRIs
    georgiaTRIs Posts: 229 Member
    you are underweight for your height. I have not seen the picture but as a certified personal trainer I would not like my client to be that thin. BUT as long as you feel good and eat healthy ????? Seriously look in the mirror from the neck down. What do you see? curves or skin and rib bones? If you doctor says you are ok -- which I doubt - follow the doctors instructions
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Being too skinny carries health risks just like being fat. Outside the world of actresses and models, most people are very turned off by the too-skinny look.

    Visit your doctor, tell him about what people are saying and whether or not you should gain some weight. He will let you know if they're right or not and can guide you toward a healthy weight if you aren't there now.

    Some people say, "You're so skinny!" as a compliment or to be polite. I'm already hearing "skinny" and am still way into fat, lol. But some say it out of concern. The doctor is really the only person to trust. They know the facts, they know you and will never say you're too thin or fat unless you are.

    Go to the doctor and find out the truth.

    Also, check out Supersize vs. Superskinny. It's on youTube. The gigando people never argue that they're healthy, but the very skinny ones are always shocked, lol. :)
  • skittle316
    skittle316 Posts: 128 Member
    We live in a society that loves to shame skinny people so this is not shocking. I have a bunch of friends who are size 0s hate being told they need to est more or look sickly. If you know your health is fine there is nothing wrong with where you're at now, my grandma is actually 5'7 106lbs 97 years old. She's never weighed more than 115lbs her whole life. She has always been skinny and guess what she's fine. I work at a lot of old folks homes and so many of them are skinny and frail. BUT in our society we judge health by how long someone lives, if they are underweight but have had lived long lives then they are perfectly fine. Japan has the skinniest people in the world and shockingly they also have some of the oldest living as well.

    So don't let them shame you into thinking being skinny is wrong. As long you are eating and know your healthy with doctors conformation to back you up live your life and be happy. Tell them to worry about the fat in their bodies, and not the fat they think you lack. I suggest going on the reddit /fatlogic stuff like this is pretty common.
  • Eudoxy
    Eudoxy Posts: 391 Member
    Yes, that's too skinny. 15 pounds sounds about right, you'd still be very thin. You set your goal weight outside healthy parameters.
  • skittle316
    skittle316 Posts: 128 Member
    Being too skinny carries health risks just like being fat. Outside the world of actresses and models, most people are very turned off by the too-skinny look.

    Visit your doctor, tell him about what people are saying and whether or not you should gain some weight. He will let you know if they're right or not and can guide you toward a healthy weight if you aren't there now.

    Some people say, "You're so skinny!" as a compliment or to be polite. I'm already hearing "skinny" and am still way into fat, lol. But some say it out of concern. The doctor is really the only person to trust. They know the facts, they know you and will never say you're too thin or fat unless you are.

    Go to the doctor and find out the truth.

    Also, check out Supersize vs. Superskinny. It's on youTube. The gigando people never argue that they're healthy, but the very skinny ones are always shocked, lol. :)
    A doctor would only tell her to gain fat if she was infertile, malnourished, anemic or fatigued. OP hasnt stated any of that, unless she has actual physical problems there is nothing wrong with her weight. BMI is useless because everyone handles fat differently and are built differently. I live in Canada and people here on a majority are pretty skinny. I remember in high school where the ideal weight was 115lbs, most people were size 5's or lower.. If you weighed 150lbs or more that was considered fat. Different countries have different standards, OP just happens to be in a place where being smaller is frowned upon. Unless you are on the verge of death, ones health concern is purely out of vanity and not being pleased with how that person looks like. Rarely does it ever have to do with health.
    Yes, that's too skinny. 15 pounds sounds about right, you'd still be very thin. You set your goal weight outside healthy parameters.
    That's not too skinny at all, you're judt not used to people that small :p
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    This is a very hard question to answer for someone else as we all see ourselves differently in the mirror and it is hard to tell someone else what body they should be in. The question you have to ask yourself is "Do I like myself the way I am right now". If you are happy with your new body then keep it. You will have to find a way of getting your partner to accept it. You might have to come to some sort of compromise depending on whether or not you are wanting to change you.

    Agreed

    Whatever

    People will always have opinions on what you look like. At some point you'll have to ask yourself, am I a healthy adult? If the answer is yes, then you get to determine for yourself how you want to look. Personally I'd figure out a way to shut down the unsolicited comments, but that's just me
  • Eudoxy
    Eudoxy Posts: 391 Member
    Being too skinny carries health risks just like being fat. Outside the world of actresses and models, most people are very turned off by the too-skinny look.

    Visit your doctor, tell him about what people are saying and whether or not you should gain some weight. He will let you know if they're right or not and can guide you toward a healthy weight if you aren't there now.

    Some people say, "You're so skinny!" as a compliment or to be polite. I'm already hearing "skinny" and am still way into fat, lol. But some say it out of concern. The doctor is really the only person to trust. They know the facts, they know you and will never say you're too thin or fat unless you are.

    Go to the doctor and find out the truth.

    Also, check out Supersize vs. Superskinny. It's on youTube. The gigando people never argue that they're healthy, but the very skinny ones are always shocked, lol. :)
    A doctor would only tell her to gain fat if she was infertile, malnourished, anemic or fatigued. OP hasnt stated any of that, unless she has actual physical problems there is nothing wrong with her weight. BMI is useless because everyone handles fat differently and are built differently. I live in Canada and people here on a majority are pretty skinny. I remember in high school where the ideal weight was 115lbs, most people were size 5's or lower.. If you weighed 150lbs or more that was considered fat. Different countries have different standards, OP just happens to be in a place where being smaller is frowned upon. Unless you are on the verge of death, ones health concern is purely out of vanity and not being pleased with how that person looks like. Rarely does it ever have to do with health.
    Yes, that's too skinny. 15 pounds sounds about right, you'd still be very thin. You set your goal weight outside healthy parameters.
    That's not too skinny at all, you're judt not used to people that small :p

    Wrong, I'm the same height. I was often trying to be between that size and 125 in high school and my early 20's. When I was looked gaunt, unhealthy, and too skinny.
  • manshusgr
    manshusgr Posts: 30 Member
    Sound u did an awesome job
  • ronnie786
    ronnie786 Posts: 24 Member
    So I've finally reached my goal weight but I'm being told I look anorexic which is really knocking my confidence. I'm 5'7 and weigh 113lbs I started at 143lbs but my family and fiance say I looked so much better before. I wasn't happy at 143lbs because I felt huge and at 113lbs I feel like less of a woman since i've lost all my curves. I was full figured before and now I get told I look like a stick :frown: what do you guys think am I too thin for my height? how can I get back my curves thicker thighs bigger butt etc without gaining fat around the middle. My fiance wants me to put atleast another 10-15lbs back on but I feel that would be too much please help...

    I am aware that I'm classed as underweight according to my bmi. But I didn't think i'd be classed as anorexic I only ever saw it as 2-3 pounds underweight. I also didn't plan on looking anorexic I want to look fit and healthy not ill.. most of my weight loss came from diet and cardio (I suck at strength training) :grumble:.. I'm scared of gaining weight because it goes straight to my mid section :angry:, I would like to gain 10lbs but in muscle is that possible and how long will it take sorry for the stupid questions:blushing:. Also what would you consider the ideal weight for a 23 y/o 5'7 female
  • TheSheepFollower
    TheSheepFollower Posts: 64 Member
    Well you are a little thin....If your healthy and happy than there's nothing to worry about.If you want gain weight eat more calories and move less! Just like losing weight!
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    The ideal weight for a 5'7" 23-year-old female is whatever weight is comfortable and healthy for her and her body frame. There is no magic number, although there is a weight range that is considered healthy. You need to decide where in that range is best for you. I'm also 5'7", and my goal weight is around 135 because that seems to be where my body is going to end up to be the size and BF% that I want. There's another poster here who is the same height but weighs 10 lbs more than I do now, but has already reached the size I am going for.

    That being said, 113 lbs is very low for this height, and it seems from what you've said that you basically burned away all your muscle with a calorie deficit and cardio, which is why you don't have the fit and healthy look that you want.

    You need to add muscle to get where you want. That means eating above maintenance, getting lots of protein, and lifting heavy weights to build muscle. It's going to take time, as in months. It's hard for guys to add muscle, and even harder for women. You are going to add a little fat as you add muscle, everyone does.