Fat B*tch

You're at college, you're clearly an intelligent young woman. You're self-aware and strong enough to make changes when you need to and you've already made good progress. You also have a whole bunch of people to support you when things are tough.

The other person tries to gain their self-worth by belittling others - you are far better off than they are. Someone who drink-drives and abuses others for gratification is on a self-destruction journey.

The hatefulness of his actions are bound to have knocked you but please pick yourself up from this, dust yourself off emotionally and carry on with your life. Your life will be getting better and better because you work hard (at college and in your weight-loss).

we need a hugs smiley... ...in the meantime :flowerforyou:

Haha, that's funny... A homeless woman that looked like she had snorted out of the wrong toilet tried this with me, as well. She even said she used to be a power ranger.. What the WHATTT??

I once had someone that I hadn't seen in several years tell me "what happened....you used to be so pretty".
I just turned and walked away and told myself that in order to be so ugly to someone else they must be a
miserable person and move on. It's not always easy but try to consider the source.

People like that motivate me....Because I can and have lost weight, they will always be the way they are, ugly on the inside.

I am sooo sorry that happened to you, I agree with everybody else that replied, people can be jerks especially drunks. That has happened to me before and its hard to ignore it but I always used that as motivation, like a "ill show you" kind of moment sometimes that the only way to keep from giving up.

I had someone do something similar to me while I was jogging at a outdoor track!! It does hurt your feelings, we wouldn't be human if it didn't but I thought to myself, at least I am trying, you sir will forever be a fool. Try not to let the words of uninformed, unkind people sink in. In the grand scheme of life, they seriously are insignificant.

I have a couple of thoughts that may be helpful but understand they may not be at all.

First of all, I think this is not only about size but also about a culture where women are devalued. As we move at a glacier's pace toward equality, some men use any excuse they can to perpetuate a threatened culture of hating women. In a way he's yelling at all women, targeting your vulnerability.

I have a sister who is fat phobic. She'll take about large women to me as if she somehow can't see that I am morbidly obese! When I point it out she stops talking. She has internalized a cultural hatred of women.

I have never been insulted for being fat. It's quite the opposite. Whenever I refer to myself everyone says, "No, you're not. And why would you use such a hateful word to describe yourself?" I don't think fat is a hateful word, though it is most often used that way.

I started therapy years ago. I thought I needed to learn how to organize my calendar better! Yes, that was my excuse for going to therapy. Hilarious in a way. But I found out over time that why I was really going was to deal with two horrible events in my childhood. One, I was sexually molested as a child, and two, when I tried to tell my mother about it at age 12 she gave me a bottle of sleeping pills to take. It took me a few years to finally cry over my childhood.

My fat phobic sister says horrible things like, "Fat people cry so easily!" Well, some of us do. Some of us are large and subject to tears for the same reason, but the reasson is rarely that we are big.

Many of us, I believe, have difficult stories. Yes, we are responsible for maintaining our health. But I could never have joined MyFitnessPal without first finding out that my gut is primarily in constant pain from being held in tension. I could never have started taking better care of myself without first discovering that there was a reason my gut felt the way it did--which I didn't even recognize until I got to the point where I could feel some sadness, and even a little anger though that is harder for me, over my abuse and loneliness as a child. Many of us have real things to cry about; even if they're not as dramatic as my story, the pain is every bit as real.

And the haters pick up on this. They're not yelling at us primarily because we're big. They're yelling, I think, because they perceive us at vulnerable. I think that's why my sister says fat people are such big criers. because she sees the vulnerability and it frightens her because she has such a backlog of hurt.

None of us woke up one day and decided it would be fun to become fat or obese. Kids growing up without exercise, being fed fast food, never getting away from the various screens that hypnotize many of us, well--they're growing up in houses where kindness isn't always the primary operating mode of the family. It's just my two dollar opinion, but I think obesity is a symptom of a society that isn't equipped to deal with feelings of sadness, anger, and isolation.

I am so angry at this hateful person for targeting you and triggering such sadness.

None of what I've written my apply to you personally, and I'm not suggesting it does. I guess what I'm trying to say is that our lives, all lives, are huge and profound and when someone targets our vulnerability they are cutting away a huge part of our heart and psyche with a machete knife of emotional and spiritual violence.

I ate because it helped calm my gut down. I ate because I lived in shame and silence. I ate because I was so sad.. That hasn't gone away entirely, but I'm getting better. I'm even okay if I don't lose the weight. But joining this site has been incredibly life-affirming because I no longer feel I am alone.

I hope something I've said is useful. If it isn't, I am really fine with you thinking that there are some really strange people online!

People who drive by cyclists/runners/walkers and yell out insults at them are cowards. It should be legal to shoot them, ha!

But really; they can make you so mad! I don't know what kind of poor upbringing these kinds of people had, but they are not in any way contributors to society. You're on a good journey. Don't let the cowardly haters get you down.

*hugs*