Seriously...HOW???

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Replies

  • Jetta_C
    Jetta_C Posts: 58
    For me, it works to take a period of time where work and life are relatively calm (and that does not happen often) and do a "reset". For example, right now I have a couple weeks off work so I am off alcohol, wheat, dairy, refined sugar and coffee. Plus I am working out every day. What I find is that if I take a week or two and reset all my appetites, no I don't continue as perfectly as before once I am done, but what is "normal" has changed for me and it will carry me through until the next time I get a reset opportunity.

    If my life was calm enough that one week out of every four could be a reset, that would be divine :)
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    I racked my brain for years with the very same questions.
    Im a smart dedicated person and know HOW to lose weight mechanically so the million dollar question why aren't I doing it and sticking with it. what is the problem?!
    its very very frustrating.

    the key for me was finding out why i was overweight in the first place. when we talk about emotional eating it sounds so vague and intangible but really its the key. once i unlocked that key (and it takes work and its lots of things not just one thing) i found losing weight became dare i say...easy? it didnt *feel* like it took so.much.effort. to do it. i didnt have to what i call "White knuckle" myself through a another diet. i wasn't struggling to stay on a diet.

    when i feel the struggle and feel like you do in your post i know i have to get to basics and back to what is best to take care of myself and my needs.

    good luck it is not easy, but when you figure it out its golden!
  • daydrem_dw
    daydrem_dw Posts: 83 Member
    My goal is only set to 20 pounds but ultimately I'd like to lose somewhere between 40-50 for my ideal weight.

    The pressure of getting THERE was too much for me. It helped me to stop looking at the end goal and just concentrate on making better (not perfect) choices today -- faced with a pie, I take a smaller piece today than I would have yesterday -- and looking back at where I've been gives me the encouragement to continue. When I focused on the end goal, the weight came off faster but I just didn't stick with it. Now it's slow but steady progress and no stress.

    You CAN do this.
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    ^^^^ yes!!
  • shanaber
    shanaber Posts: 6,423 Member
    Bump for later
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    I've had this MFP account since my youngest daughter was 2 .... she's in second grade now. I still have the same 50 pounds to lose as I did then. :grumble:

    I'm starting slow by remembering to log in every single day. I'm not logging food all the time yet, but I'm watching what my choices are and realizing "that is going to look like pure *kitten* if you were to put it in your food log". I'm planning on having a "cheat" meal and I'm figuring out what things I'd like to have for one horrible meal on the weekend that I don't log so I can look forward to it. I signed up for the 30 Day Shred September group, and I forced my sister to join MFP. So I have some accountability for the moments when I'm like "I'm going to go take a nap instead of exercise". :P

    I am though working with my doctor and about to go to a specialist because I do have some health issues that cannot be pinned down. I'm hoping that we can get some answers so I can stop being frustrated with my body. I think being frustrated with my body for so many years has kept me from being able to really change my frame of mind to where I need it to be at in order to be successful.

    Good luck!
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    Simple-consistency and switching up your routine to keep body guessing alone will help. Consistency/persistence and determination alone can help you which you seem like you don't have enough of persistency.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    It depends how important being healthy is to you
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
    when we talk about emotional eating it sounds so vague and intangible but really its the key. once i unlocked that key (and it takes work and its lots of things not just one thing) i found losing weight became dare i say...easy?

    May I ask how you went about "unlocking" your emotional eating? Did you have to resort to professional help or were you able to gradually figure it out as you went along? I'm interested if I can learn something here. Beyond being able to say to myself at the time "I am eating this big bowl of pasta right now because I need comfort / am bored / ****fill in emotion", I haven't got to the bottom of why I need comfort / am bored etc. Is it this latter that you were able to figure out? Thanks....
  • wagglesworth
    wagglesworth Posts: 53 Member
    I want to save a life, my own.
  • GirlPrime
    GirlPrime Posts: 7 Member
    what i have done is made it my part of life!!!!! it is just as important as my family and friends because it is ME!!!!!!! i need to take care of me. I have dragged my family and friends along for the ride making my children apart of counting and showing them what is good and bad. my reason for this those boys will keep me on track!!! lol.. they think it is so cool to be telling mommy what to do. I make fitness time = family time. so it is not boring or dumb but a way for me to play with my boys and teach them good habits. find joy make it fun do not think of as work. have fun with it. do a game with find new ways to eat. one we do is send everyone on a hunt to find a way to make our fav foods more health for us. the first to find the best way wins a prize. lol. make this fun!!!! it is all about you your worth it. you are worth it.

    today you are you, but tomorrow you are possibilities!!!!!
  • divediva2
    divediva2 Posts: 297 Member
    How do you want to live for the rest of your life? That is a question to ask yourself. Do you want to be constantly yo yo dieting or making half hearted efforts at an active life? I don't. I have done this most of my adult life, what a waste of years.

    I made the decision that I am worth more than I was crediting myself with. I am worth the effort. it will not be easy but I will tell you this when you find motivation it does not become a chore, it is the way you live your life and the way you will live the rest of your life. Don't look at it like a temporary fix as in I will lose weight and be happy, that is not reality.

    Reality is I am going to live my best and healthiest life. That is important to me and it will make me feel great. Keep saying that and you will do it. It will become second nature to make healthy choices and you will be able to enjoy all the pleasures of life.

    Find ways to motivate yourself, reward yourself with positive self talk. When negativity sets in and it will, turn to friends for support. Have a bad day or meal, turn it around. It's done, move forward and don't beat yourself up. You can and you will do this.
  • wjelly
    wjelly Posts: 64 Member
    A lot of people have told me in the past 'you can't do that'.

    Gradually I've found out I damn well CAN and will, just dig deeper and find the strength from within.
  • nwelzen
    nwelzen Posts: 6 Member
    bump
  • higgins8283801
    higgins8283801 Posts: 844 Member
    If I don't feel like getting up and exercising, I do it anyway.

    Logging is fun to me though. I don't really know why.

    My hardest thing is forcing myself to exercise

    I managed to cut soda out for almost 3 weeks. So far so good!
  • sarahsedai
    sarahsedai Posts: 273 Member
    This is not the first time that I have attempted to lose weight and get into better shape. Every time before this, I have failed... usually at the one month mark. Every time I tried, I had success, but yet I still gave up. Why? Maybe self-sabotage. Maybe impatience. Depression. Frustration. Laziness. I don't know. I do know that each time that I tried in the past, I would become fixated on it. Maybe that was the problem. I was doing everything right - going above and beyond, even. And maybe that was the problem. I felt it wasn't going fast enough, or that I just wouldn't get there. After one month?! Craziness, right? Maybe. Or I'd start to slip up, throw my hands in the air and ask myself why I was even bothering to try.

    Today, I hit a 40 day streak of logging onto MFP. That's a record for me. Do I still get those irrational thoughts in my head? Of course I do. I can say that I've been doing things differently this time - especially regarding my state of mind this time around. But can I say that this time is it - the last time I start over again? Maybe not. One day at a time. Today I want this. Today I'll make good decisions. That decision could be to get up and exercise when I'd rather lay around, or to cook a healthful meal at home instead of hitting a drive-thru and eating twice the calories I should be in a day.... OR it could be the decision to forgive myself if I skip my walk, or eat a little more than I should and remember tomorrow is a new day.
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    I've been using this website steadily for 3 years, but signed up 4 years ago. It took me a year to even start logging (I had actually forgotten that I had an account until I tried to sign up...). I was at the heaviest I've ever been and decided I needed to change, but even then I logged only sporadically. The biggest turning point for me was a change in mindset - as soon as I stopped thinking about it as a "diet," and instead began thinking about it as a lifestyle and journey towards better health, I was able to stick with it. I know many people on here are able to eat whatever they want as long as they still within their calorie limit. It works, but not for me only because I couldn't control myself around certain foods. It was stressful and I would simply stop logging. As soon as I started focusing on fresh, whole foods and felt much better about myself, I was able to stick with it. It was about a year ago that I finally reached my original goal weight and I've continued logging (and losing) ever since. I am finally at my "final" goal weight and trying to maintain (which I find perhaps harder than losing!). I've definitely fallen off the wagon a number of times before I got here, and I've learned a lot about myself along the way. Some key points:

    1) It's not a "diet" - this needs to be a lifestyle change. However you were eating before is how you put the weight on. If you want to continue losing and keep it off, you need to make this change forever. Therefore, it also must be sustainable.
    2) If you fall off the wagon so to speak, it is ok, but, GET BACK ON!!! You're not perfect, you're only human, and there will be slip ups. Just don't let one day of overeating turn into a week, a month, etc.
    3) If/when you do fall off the wagon, think about why it happened - is there a psychological connection to your eating habits? (For me there absolutely was.)
    4) Don't give up all "treats" - if you can't eat them in moderation, then find alternatives/healthier versions.

    This is what worked for me in order to be able to stick with it. You need to find what works best for you. Good luck!!
  • cosmonew
    cosmonew Posts: 513 Member
    I just love this thread for the TRUTH in it. Hope this thread sticks around so when I feel a little depressed about the journey I can come back here for motivation.
  • matthawthorneisamyth
    matthawthorneisamyth Posts: 196 Member
    I do it every day because after two months it became part of my routine.

    I mean, fuark it. I'm either going to get fatter and resign myself to wearing sweatpants in public like the rest of America or I'm going to build my body to be the person that I feel is representative of the 'real' me.

    Besides, my girlfriend is two years away from being an ivy league lawyer and she is pretty hot, so I have to do something to keep up otherwise she'll find a younger, much sexier man.
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
    Ok OP I have a question for you.

    Seriously... HOW??? are you going to change things?

    You have 10 pages of responses and who knows how many PM's telling you what works for others, people have taken their time to offer answers to your question.
    You've been given loads of information, now what are you going to do with it?
  • 115s
    115s Posts: 344 Member
    Easy. Fall in, fall out.

    Motivate yourself, keep pushing.
  • georgiaTRIs
    georgiaTRIs Posts: 229 Member
    First off it takes to much energy to be negative about yourself and very counter productive. Logging is a tool. If you eat healthy and log you won't be on the yoyo thing with weight. Habits take a while to learn. I would start with positive thoughts about yourself and your goals.
  • zericaaaaa
    zericaaaaa Posts: 313 Member
    i made a fitness instagram to keep me accountable and i talk to as many friends as possible on here every day. i sift through the website and read success stories every day. you have to immerse yourself in it. i like to make pictures with inspirational quotes to hang on my fridge, too. my favorite is 'imagine yourself 6 months from now. don't stop. you're worth it.'
  • LadyCloud
    LadyCloud Posts: 2 Member
    Oh, you and me both. I feel your pain. Logging is the bane of my existence. That is why I ALWAYS fail, because I stop logging or counting points, or whatever it is that I am doing at time. We will see how long this lasts, but here is what I am finding. Its easier to log when you eat the same foods, since its already listed in you recent foods. Also, the fewer the ingredients the better. I HATE looking up 10 different ingredients for a salad, or sandwich or whatever. This is only my 5th day logging and I DO feel less bloated. Find a friend to help keep you on track, or message me, we can compare meals and ideas. Good luck!
  • jss369
    jss369 Posts: 3 Member
    I recognise everything you're saying but this time, I'm taking a different approach.

    For me, it's down to 4 things:-
    1) I'm not dieting, I'm budgeting.
    2) taking the long view and not rushing
    3) having a visual reminder of progress and
    4) setting mini-goals.

    "Dieting" makes me into a mad woman but I'm sane when dealing with money so now, instead of looking at a Danish pastry and thinking "that's bad", eating it and then feeling bad all day, and probably several days after too, I think "that's not good value", ignore it and look for something that's a better deal for my calories.

    For the second, well, I've loads of weight to lose so I'm taking it slow. My target is only a pound a week and I know that, for me, this slow loss takes the pressure off me and stops me thinking of good days and bad days. They're all just days and there'll be a clean slate tomorrow when I can start again. I'm learning patience.

    For the third and fourth parts, sorry but my Inner Geek kicked in and I've done a spreadsheet which shows my projected weight at the 1ib-a-week rate, my actual weight each week, and other stuff like my weekly BMI/% target lost/etc. I've marked on there small milestones like moving from obese to overwieght BMI, losing 10% of my starting weight, and anything else I can think to put a significant number on. I've also done graphs because, again, for me a "picture" of the weight loss helps. It'd be easy to use an alternative, e.g., colouring in a square on a piece of paper for every pound lost.

    I've also downloaded the Countdown widget onto my phone and at the moment, it's showing that to reach my next target, I've got 26 days to lose only about 2lbs, as my loss is actually a little more than a pound a week. Easy! This gives me real focus without putting pressure on myself and also stops the days slipping by unnoticed as they tend to do for me. Each time I reset the countdown for my next mini-goal (10% original weight lost), the number of days is relatively small (21) and I can imagine making it to that milestone.

    According to my trusty spreadsheet, it's going to take me well over a year (close the Christmas 2015) to get to a healthy BMI, and that's fine by me. I've also accepted that my progress won't always be a downward line, but I'm just going to keep getting back on that horse (my only metaphorical likeness to John Wayne).

    Good luck, All, and just keep pluggng away at it!
  • PMA140
    PMA140 Posts: 60
    Ok OP I have a question for you.

    Seriously... HOW??? are you going to change things?

    You have 10 pages of responses and who knows how many PM's telling you what works for others, people have taken their time to offer answers to your question.
    You've been given loads of information, now what are you going to do with it?


    Great question!

    1. I am taking the advice of all these nice people and being nicer to myself. I'm open to suggestions on how to get that started.

    2. I am not setting deadlines for weight loss. As of now I have lost 2.4 pounds in six weeks. Not a big number but I didn't quit.

    3. I am taking this much slower. Instead of restricting my calories to a number that is hard to commit to and leaves me hungry and grumpy I set my number to 1800 which only sets me up for 1/2 pound loss per week. I am already surprised at how much I can eat and not go over that number. I don't force myself to eat more if I haven't reached it or feel guilty if I went a little over. I am using that number as a guideline not an absolute boundary. If I go a couple of weeks and haven't lost anything I will lower it a little. The down side to this is that I need to be very accurate with measuring food because with so little of a margin I could easily be eating too much if I am not careful.

    4. I am trying to get some exercise 3 or more times a week but not every day. I will increase time and/or intensity when I feel like I can, not on anyone else's schedule.

    5. I'm meeting my husband for lunch at Pizza Hutt today because he invited me. I'm going to eat what I want, log it the best I can, and not stress over the fact that I'm going to be over today because sometimes pizza is just worth it :-)

    6. I'm going back to this thread when I need motivation because it's awesome!!
  • allisonjforsyth
    allisonjforsyth Posts: 105 Member
    You've really got to want it. Not just want it, but like WANT it! Like need it. Like be really, really desperate for the change. Just can't live like you are anymore. And when you have that attitude, then you'll put in the energy and the effort and the time. I started with weighing myself. Then I worked out and counted calories that same day. Then the next morning I weighed again. I had lost a little weight. In the beginning you will lose rather quickly and it helps with motivation to keep track of it and see the weight going down and getting slightly closer to your goal. Then you don't want to go backwards so you keep at it. I've been at it a long time now but I feel a million times better now than when I started. It's worth it. Good luck!
  • cmb4977
    cmb4977 Posts: 5 Member
    I completely understand your question: How??? I have three children, husband, dog, and very busy career going on. I have seen others do it, but I can't seem to find the time or energy to follow through with a plan for longer than a week! I have about 50-60 to lose.
  • lcfrog1
    lcfrog1 Posts: 3
    First - let me tell you that I just started in the spring to care about my health...I had to wait until I was ready and in a mind set to start ... for me it was finding my passions again.
    Like my photography passion I used to do before I felt stuck in my life as a single parent struggling to get through each day. I stopped kicking myself and started accepting myself as the person I am...not who I wanted to be. So you slip for a day... oh well, get up and go again the next!
    For me it is the fitbit that is driving my success... I may have a low day in counted steps, but I am parking farther away, and walking the stairs instead of the escalators (or walking up the escalators when possible)... little tiny things that add up and are working towards a healthier me. I stopped looking at weight because as I gain muscle, it has not changed much, but am totally excited over my blood pressure dropping! Plus my clothes feel better!
    I am a single parent with 3... and have approx 40 lbs to go.... but I am learning that it doesn't take much extra time to park farther away, or get the kids invested in how many steps I do... so when we walk farther to get somewhere...they understand :)
    Side effect is that my kids are getting healthier too!
    So just go in by one tiny improvement at a time, try something like a fitbit and become religious about wearing it... then take those numbers as the pat on your back...cuz if you are like me, I noticed a great improvement in my steps per day and when I have a lazy day - I just try to do a little more the next... small little goals will drive the change you want, and suddenly changing seems easier!
    Good Luck :)
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    when we talk about emotional eating it sounds so vague and intangible but really its the key. once i unlocked that key (and it takes work and its lots of things not just one thing) i found losing weight became dare i say...easy?

    May I ask how you went about "unlocking" your emotional eating? Did you have to resort to professional help or were you able to gradually figure it out as you went along? I'm interested if I can learn something here. Beyond being able to say to myself at the time "I am eating this big bowl of pasta right now because I need comfort / am bored / ****fill in emotion", I haven't got to the bottom of why I need comfort / am bored etc. Is it this latter that you were able to figure out? Thanks....

    there were several sources that help me understand my emotional eating. researching it myself, reading about it (Geneen Roth writes fantastic on the subject) and a therapist helped me from time to time as well. reading Geneen's books really opened my eyes ALOT. being aware that you are eating b/c you are bored/tired/lonely/etc is part of it and sometimes half the battle is the awareness and sometimes the awareness is enough to stop. but you definitely need to peel back the layers and only you can do that. there is always more too it than just being bored. read breaking free from compulsive/emotional eating by Geneen Roth its a short book but definitely worth it and will explain a lot.