Haters gonna hate (rant)
lisawinning4losing
Posts: 726 Member
I hope it's okay for me to rant here. Since I started my weight loss journey I've been getting flack from people. First of all, I'm 5'4 and weigh 165 pounds on a good day. My goal is to get to 140. I'm not trying to be skinny. Also obesity runs in my family. At my heaviest weight I was 195.
Also, I don't have any major problems with self esteem. I see myself as a good person and an attractive person. I just want to lose weight! I'm taking care of myself, and reaching for my goals. That's a good thing!
You would think people would encourage me to lose weight, but instead I get hate from some people. Most of the haters are either people who are overweight and don't care or pretend not to care, OR people who can eat whatever they want and be naturally thin.
Here are some things I'm sick and tired of hearing:
"Stop hating on yourself."
"You look fine the way you are."
"Oh no don't lose weight! I like em thick."
"Have a doughnut."
"You're counting calories? Haha, that's so silly!"
"Does your little phone app say you can eat now? Hahaha. "
"Live a little! "
"Don't be so superficial."
"You have an eating disorder."
"Being fat is not unhealthy."
"Diets are bad for you."
"Don't overwork yourself!"
"A man will love you for who you ARE!!!"
That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.
Seriously, this all just makes me want to lose weight EVEN MORE, so I can shove it in their faces once I've achieved my success!
So thanks for the motivation butt heads! :glasses:
Also, I don't have any major problems with self esteem. I see myself as a good person and an attractive person. I just want to lose weight! I'm taking care of myself, and reaching for my goals. That's a good thing!
You would think people would encourage me to lose weight, but instead I get hate from some people. Most of the haters are either people who are overweight and don't care or pretend not to care, OR people who can eat whatever they want and be naturally thin.
Here are some things I'm sick and tired of hearing:
"Stop hating on yourself."
"You look fine the way you are."
"Oh no don't lose weight! I like em thick."
"Have a doughnut."
"You're counting calories? Haha, that's so silly!"
"Does your little phone app say you can eat now? Hahaha. "
"Live a little! "
"Don't be so superficial."
"You have an eating disorder."
"Being fat is not unhealthy."
"Diets are bad for you."
"Don't overwork yourself!"
"A man will love you for who you ARE!!!"
That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.
Seriously, this all just makes me want to lose weight EVEN MORE, so I can shove it in their faces once I've achieved my success!
So thanks for the motivation butt heads! :glasses:
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Replies
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Dude, you need new friends! LOL!
Here's what I wish they would say to you:
"Good job!"
"Keep up the good work!"
"That's not easy, congratulations on all that you have achieved!"
"I wish I had the nerve to improve myself!"
"Can I work out / go on a walk with you?"
"I'm proud of you!"
"Screw the donuts, let's have fruit!"
"You are looking so hot in your (insert sexy clothing item of choice here)"
Keep on fighting the good fight! If you need encouragement, come here!!! Keep doing what you know to be right for you!!!!!0 -
Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !0
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I would reply: Well, I am glad I am doing this for me and not anyone else.
I think people get nervous around people who want change. It makes them have to look at themselves and most don't want to do that.0 -
I get it, too. The other night I got **** for measuring my food. The day before that I was asked about my "yogurt diet" because I didn't want any pancakes. (I had eaten yogurt for breakfast. I'm not on a "yogurt diet." I'm not on any diet.) They definitely act like I have an eating disorder. And it IS always fat people. It irks me, but I get over it pretty quickly when I get on the scale. ;D0
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Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !
+1
This is such a wonderful, warm reply. And true, too.0 -
"I find you bringing up how little or how much another grown *kitten* human adult chooses to eat weird and passive aggressive. If you keep doing it, I will start bringing up politics when we are at crowded bars"0
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Just smile sweetly, smirk inwardly ,and think, "I'm okay. You're not."
Or try knodding knowingly, saying, "Ah, yes." Then exhibit total, knowing serenity as you turn away or change the subject. People are stymied by those who agree with them and then ignore them with total self-confidence. It leaves 'em confused.0 -
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Annoying Person: "Live a little"
Your response next time: "No thanks, I'd like to live a lot"
Your attitude is amazing though. Just do what makes you happy.0 -
You have my vote. Very pretty right now!Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body!
As for your friends, they're crabs. You know how crabs are right? You put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and if one starts to climb out, the others will try and pull it back down.0 -
ha a man will love you for who you are? then why do they cheat? men are visual of course they want somehting good to look at. ( my rant)
anyways dont let these fools get you down. us bodybuilders always get stereotyped that we do drugs, i dont. or a 'woman shouldnt look like you" etc etc. fat women telling us to cover up at a pool??? wtf?
your haters dont know you, dont know ur reasons for losing weight ,bottom line this is how America is 'sugar coating the truth', 'telling people these lame *kitten* mottos such as :
"confidence is beautifull" and u have these fat women with health issues walk around all "confident" BULL****!! you know they have health issues. all these mottos invented to make people feel better about themselves but its a lie!!
you darling lose your weight , you're doing it for you not anybody else.
im happy for you taking a stand though!! shove a donut up their mouths!! ignorant *kitten* why do they need to tell you how to look like did you ask their opinion? EXACTLY. do you Boo!! its all for you no anyone else!! be healthy!! xoxo0 -
I guess I'm lucky to not have experienced any of that kind of negativity.
I found this bit interesting, though:
That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.
I mean, obviously it's true that there are guys who will be attracted to you whatever size you are, and they're not ugly trolls or whatever you seem to think they are. The one thing I really miss about being heavier is the feeling I had of being special in regards to my appearance. The guys who prefer bigger girls, REALLY prefer bigger girls. I liked appealing to that demographic, I guess. My (slim, attractive) husband is one of those guys. Of course he loves me the way I am, and is proud of what I've achieved, and blah blah blah, but now, I feel like I'm kind of boring, physically. I wouldn't change anything because all the "pros" of losing the weight outweigh that one "con", but of all the reasons I lost weight, my appearance and appealing to my preferred gender was not even on my radar.0 -
These demon folks are the very reason I keep my self improvement efforts in the closet. They've started to notice now - so I've adopted the "don't make it a thing" defense which is shutting down the diet bullies better than I expected. I don't like the attention it draws and the sudden "right" to be up in my business about my choices. I also don't make it a thing - so I don't say "OH, I wish I could have that" or "Do you know how many calories that burger you are eating is?" I stay out of your closet and you stay out of mine is my approach. So far, working well.
I have found a few friendly supporters - I share a little with them. Turns out they don't want every detail of my plan anymore than I want them up in my kool-aid about my plan. So they just say "hey, those pants are baggy - GIRL, get some new pants." So, it's like I'm developing a secret club.
I don't feel a need to let others know for the sake of accountability... that system has failed me many times over. It's for me, about me and it's my accountability to me.
Also, I agree that you are attractive as is. I don't have that "I'm too big" self consciousness - and I'm not sure losing weight fixes that since it's a mental thing. It's not required to be self deprecating to be overweight.
I would, however, not have a man that couldn't love me regardless of size. That says you love a body not a person. What happens if I lost my looks for something like cancer? I'd be alone? You'd move on to prettier grass? Then I don't want to waste my time nourishing that relationship anyway. And not all men cheat... I think that depends on their ego and maturity (which isn't based on age) more than being male.0 -
I have a feeling that the people who have said these things are probably nit yet ready to deal worth their own weight or health issues, so it's easier for them to put you down instead of getting healthy themselves.
Just keep on doing what your doing, and leave them in the dust0 -
I have a feeling that the people who have said these things are probably nit yet ready to deal worth their own weight or health issues, so it's easier for them to put you down instead of getting healthy themselves.
Just keep on doing what your doing, and leave them in the dust
bingo most people that say "it's okay to be overweight" NO it's not, it costs our country(s) tons of money and suffering each year. Not to mention how is your family gonna feel when you have a massive heart attack because you had to "eat a doughnut" I'm being dramatic of course but you understand what I'm saying.
People that try to rationalize being a fat *kitten* are either jealous, scared to face the fact they need to lose weight, or just arseholes in general :noway: :noway:
Good thing people don't say that to me, I have a tendency to get a little violent/rude :grumble:
Worst I've had is my mom making fun of me when I was a vegan and getting healthy. She's over 300 pounds and a raging diabetic now because of it.
My mother in law took me shopping last weekend because we were visiting and I wouldn't buy anything because it wasn't organic gmo free corn syrup free msg free etc you see where I'm going. We just said I was a picky eater and part of me is sure she thinks I have some eating disorder (she did notice I'm losing weight) but he didn't say anything. She's used to it because I have food allergies so I don't eat a lot of the crap she does. Oh well
I don't do this for them, I do it for me and if they don't like it well.... they can shove it :explode: :mad:0 -
I agree you are beautiful regardless of weight loss or gain. I have always been told do I for you noone else support you ball the way!! You are rockin0
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Here are some things I'm sick and tired of hearing:
"Stop hating on yourself."
"You look fine the way you are."
"Oh no don't lose weight! I like em thick."
"Have a doughnut."
"You're counting calories? Haha, that's so silly!"
"Does your little phone app say you can eat now? Hahaha. "
"Live a little! "
"Don't be so superficial."
"You have an eating disorder."
"Being fat is not unhealthy."
"Diets are bad for you."
"Don't overwork yourself!"
"A man will love you for who you ARE!!!"
That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.
Okay so why are you discussing your weight loss with these people? and are you over doing it? do you think certian food is bad? or that you "can't" have it?
and actually I married a very attractive man...25lbs ago..then gained 25lbs...that one is true...he loved me then and he loves me now and he is attractive.0 -
Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !
This.
OP, also you CAN tell people to stay out of your business.0 -
Stop talking to them about your weightloss or diet or exercise of any of it. If they bring it up, snark right back and change the subject. Or tell them "Thanks for your support" in a sarcastic tone.
You don't need a cheerleading squad to make you do what's best for you. You can do it without a single person cheering you on.0 -
if you let every little thing people say to you bother you (to the point you have to rant about it on the internet) you will have a long, miserable and lonely life.0
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"I find you bringing up how little or how much another grown *kitten* human adult chooses to eat weird and passive aggressive. If you keep doing it, I will start bringing up politics when we are at crowded bars"
Bwahaha! Love it! :laugh:0 -
Thanks everyone for your support! Don't get me wrong, my closest friends are very supportive of me. It's more like people on the periphery who are saying stupid things.
As for the women who say they found attractive men while they were heavy, all I can say is congrats. For me, the quality of my dating prospects has taken a dramatic nose dive ever since I gained weight a couple years ago. Maybe it's a Los Angeles thing. Here, fat does not fly.0 -
Living well is the best revenge. Forget about "hating". When people make stupid comments to me (it doesn't happen often, I definitively don't give out the vibe of a woman who can be intimidated), I immediately handle the moment. It never happens twice from the same person. And I never waste a scintilla of emotional energy caring about the stupid things people say.0
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Actually you ARE beautiful just the way you are, and if you lose a few pounds you will still be beautiful, plus you'll be happy with yourself, so you go, girl, don't let anybody stop you; it's YOUR body! Go for it and do what you want !
+1
This is such a wonderful, warm reply. And true, too.
This0 -
If acquaintances are bugging you about wanting to lose weight, I would just say you have health goals rather than goals around aesthetics. In the worst case I would even lie and say the doctor told you to get your weight down because you have (pick one) elevated blood glucose, high blood pressure, high triglycerides.0
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I've mastered the flat stare. Engage and persist until they get uncomfortable and go away.
Having said that, I don't understand why aquaintences even have the opportunity for these comments. I don't bring my weight loss up to people, so if someone makes a comment I'm well placed to tell them to shove it, but if you're the one bringing it up to them, then really you have to take their comments as they come.0 -
A middle finger is always a good reply.0
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A middle finger is always a good reply.
This worked well for Johnny Manziel0 -
Couldn't agree more to what you said! I understand.They just care about you! And to what someone said. Yes you are beautiful. Every body is beautiful. From the skinny to the curvy even fat people are beautiful. Now Is being fat the healthiest thing, no, do most people feel confidant being fat, no, but does that mean they are automatically not beautiful, no!0
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I'm always slightly baffled by threads about negative comments from other people. From 135 to 230+ pounds, I've never, ever had a negative comment about my weight/food/etc. If I did, I wouldn't let them bother me, and I suggest you do the same. I guess I'm really lucky? People's opinions of you are none of your business.
When people ask me if I've lost weight, I tell them "I'm just trying to condense all this awesome".0
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